Mid-life Crisis.... Maybe?

I would definitely marry my husband again. I do wish I had lived on my own and finished my degree. I waited 12 years after I got married to go back to school. That being said, I am successful in my career, my kids are almost grown and out on their own, my husband and I act like newlyweds.

I'm happier now than I was when the kids were young!!! We have more money, I have sleep and I don't have little crumb crunchers screaming and crying. Yep, life is pretty good right now. Knock on wood!!

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Oh God, I wish you lived close to me. We are both thinking the same thoughts. I am definitely in a midlife crises. However, I am seeking the fun in it. I am making application to Peace Corps. My son is in his last year of college, my mother is deceased, my father is terminal and I am divorced age 53. This is my last hoorah and now I know that I have to make the best of it as "I ain't getting any younger"!

Hmmmm...I don't feel like that.
At 48, I have few regrets. I had a full life before I got married and had my child, so I don't feel like I'm missing anything at all. I got my education, had a 15+ yr career, bought a home, all before I got married.
I was the "single gal" while my young friends were getting married and starting families. But I'm glad I waited. It's all in the picking, you know! LOL
Now my friends have older kids and mine is in elementary school. Oh well. This is what worked for ME and that's all that really matters, right?

As for enjoying kids while they are little--so TRUE! I feel I did enjoy the journey thus far, and I still feel like it rushed by too fast! And we were established, secure, owned a home, not struggling to make ends meet--I can't imagine how "fast" it seems for others who are really, really struggling to stabilize, earn, etc. during those "little years"!

You can't focus on the past. We have to LIVE in the here and now, practice true mindfulness, with an eye to planning for the future, I guess.

Never wondered any of that. My past is what defines my now, the future is mine to write.

If I feel my life needs something I add it but never regret the lack of it in the past, why would you, that type of regret serves no purpose.

For me, there is no mid-life crisis. Mid-life crisis's are filled with divorce, fancy cars, partying, and image changes. That's not me nor what I want. I've been having a "Get A Life Crisis." What I realized was that I put ME on the back burner and gave everything I had to my kids and maintaining a home. My husband wasn't even a priority because all my energy was spent. I have no regrets in life. But in my late 30's/early 40's I discovered I needed to recapture ME...my sense of adventure, fun, and love.

First, I made a "bucket list" of all the FUN things I want to do but have not been doing because I'm wrapped up in my kids and have no energy to have fun. Please note "FUN"...not goals put to the side like getting a college degree. And, it wasn't date night filled with dinner and a movie. It was "FUN" with a capital "F"...going to concerts, dancing, scuba diving (something I used to do often, but haven't done once since the birth of my first child), zip lining, etc. And, all with my husband!

Next, I read a few romance novels to help me find my "spark" again. Cheesy, I know. But, it helped me realize how great my husband is to me. He says the "sweet nothings" in my ear; he kisses my neck when I'm doing dishes; he embraces me with the tightest, most loving hug when he comes home from work. I used to be annoyed by this because he was sapping more energy from me and "I had so much to do". Even though I'm energized by the same behaviors in a romance novel, I didn't appreciate it in my own life. And, when I stop thinking about all the things I have to do and can appreciate his tenderness, I realize I have my own romance novel playing out in my life.

Finally, I take time for me. To sit and just listen to music, to read a book, to watch a "chick flick", to nap. As such, I am finding that I have more energy, joy, and love of life.

As part of my "Get A Life Crisis" I am finding joy in the moment, have a better relationship with my husband, and subsequently, I'm a better mom and housekeeper. I LOVE MY LIFE!

I have to say, I had this same thought when I was baking cookies last night. I heard my kids and my husband in the living room laughing and wrestling and thought, "Wow, I love my life". Then, for just a moment, I got a little sad thinking what it will be like when my children are all grown and move away. I will miss hearing that laughter in the next room that only a child can bring. I dread that "quiet house". I guess I can only hope that my 4 angels will bless me with many grandchildren (and always live close to Mama)!

I have to disagree to a point. If I had waited to have my child... he wouldn't be here. If my mom had waited to have children, I wouldn't be here b/c my dad got cancer and became sterile when I was only 5 months old.

The point isn't to rush into things.. .it is to enjoy the journey and to have a plan. A lot of people marry people they barely know and have no idea about their futures. Or they party hard, feel like they need to grow up and think the only cure is to have a kid... you have to be wise and plan your future. Some 18 year olds are more ready and mature for that than some 30 year olds I know.

As far as treasuring your time, I do agree. I would change many things, like graduate college when I had the chance and before I had kids... but then I look back and remember, you know, I did the best I could at that time with my limited knowledge.

"the rest is still unwritten ..." that part of the lyrics from a song sung by Natasha Beddingfield always comforts me (sorry, can't think of the title of the song right now ... hope u all know what I'm referring to!) :)

There is only one thing I regret .... that when I was a first-time mom nobody told me to trust my instincts! I was so desperate to do everything "right" that the first couple of years with my precious son were pure hell!! Luckily I realised before I conceived my daughter that (considering my son was thriving despite all my "mistakes") maybe I should just relax and enjoy the journey! My precious "babies" are currently 18 and 15 years old respectively. My "mission" now is to tell as many mamas as possible that there's NO "wrong" or "right" when it comes to raising your children. No matter how little you think you know, YOU are an EXPERT when it comes to YOUR child! I love sharing stories and giving tips / ideas, but (at the end of the day) since each child is unique, it is each mother's responsibility to "filter" and only do something if it FEELS right for her and her family. I honestly feel extremely blessed to have realised that the very best thing I can do for my children is to ensure they have a happy mother and father! Sometimes, giving MYSELF a "time out" was really the best thing I could do for all of us! I pray that you all enjoy your time with your children at every stage - from fetus to adult - despite the challenges that we all have to overcome. :) May God Bless Mothers and Grandmothers everywhere! (Ok, ok, Dads & Grandads too) :)

I have a teen and a tween - one is suffering from mental health problems. the the has learning problems - but we are getting through this season - but not rushing it. We see an excellent future for both of them due to the fact that we will outlast them! My 81 yr old mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer 6 years ago and is still with us against all odds and against her oncologist's expectations. She's out of hospice care and has recently moved to a very nice nursing home. I work part time, I spend my afternoons driving one kid to her mental health programs, the other kid to sports and my mom to doctors appointments. My husband is a NYPD sergeant in a task force unit so he's often in a high risk situation. My job is in health benefits and I work with large employers and their employees.

My life is filled with stress - and I made a decision a while ago that I can either allow the stress to destroy me like acid - or I can turn it all over to a sovereign God. so thankful He is on his throne. I do look forward to the day that I can go back to school, do some ministry work wherever God calls me - but in the meantime He is teaching me all kinds of stuff now - whether or not I want to learn it! ;o) I never thought about a midlife crisis - I have learned that fruit grows in the valleys - not on the mountaintops. So as I travel through the ordinary and the high stress times I pray and wait for the blessings - they always come - even if it takes longer than I think I can stand.

And as you've said - the busy times of small kids, diapers, midnight fevers and eventually school plays and soccer games - they are a sweet season in our lives. But I am still looking forward to the sweet seasons to come. I see them over the next hill. ;o)

Great post...I understand where you're coming from, and my kids are only 9 and 7. I was the "when will they sleep through the night?" "When will this day ever end?" person...and boy do I regret it now. I miss when we had nothing but time, endless time. Now they're in school and it's school, sports, scouts, homework, busy, busy, busy. I was not in a hurry to become a mom, I waited until my 30s, but I just wish I had enjoyed the process more. And I wish I would have done more when I'd had the chance in my 20s. I'm 40 now and feel like a lot has passed me by. I want to cling to these days, because now I know how fast they're going to go. I wish I had known someone like you 10 years ago! Best wishes.