Me Time?

What you're feeling in completely normal! A few thoughts:

I know it didn't work out this morning but CLING to and KEEP that extra hour in the morning. It helps. It always does for me (my son is 7 now and I still get up before him!)

When hubby gets home from work, retreat to your bedroom (or the bathroom, if necessary!) for 15 minutes of peace and quiet. 15 minutes is not going to hurt anyone and it will help you!

Every other Saturday is officially Daddy/Park time. Send him. He can do it if he has to and once he sees that he can, he will!

He "wouldn't let you" go to the grocery store til the baby was asleep? !!! ??? Uh-uh. Next time GO and turn off your cell. He can deal for an hour or 90 minutes.

2 year old not napping? She can have quiet time for an hour the SAME hour as O. of the baby's naps. In her room. Quiet. As long as there aren't explosives or knives in there, she'll be fine.

Good luck!

I have a 7.5 month old son and 2.5 year old daughter - both go to bed by 8pm but both usually get up at least 1x per night - sometimes more. Hubby works nights so he's not home until after 12.

My 'me' time is after the kids go to bed until I go to sleep. I usually try to take a shower or bath either before I get the kids from daycare or after my son goes to sleep and my daughter is watching TV. That way I have about an hour - hour and a half to watch TV / talk on the phone with friends before I go to bed.

My husband is the same way with the kids. He'll take care of them at home if I go somewhere but does not take them out without me. But at the end of April, I'll be out of town (he'll have the 2 kids for the first time all Saturday/part of Sunday) and it's our goddaughter's birthday so he'll have to take them to it! I'm interested in hearing how it goes!

Sorry I don't have much advice...I'm in the same boat! Take 5 or 10 minutes when you have time and enjoy it. The dishes will always be there tomorrow.

My kids are 18 months apart. I haven't had "me time" during the day for 5 years. The only time I get to myself is at night after the kids go to bed. Or the occasional evening when my husband puts them to sleep and I sneak out to happy hour. He only does this because I tell him that if I don't get out I might actually go crazy. And it's true.

Oh momma, I feel for you!
I know the husband is doing wonderful working so much so you can stay at home, but perhaps it's time for you to push him out of the "nest" and let him test his multi-baby wings for himself?
At least in my situation, my husband had some sort of mental block about being able to care for ONE. So after awhile of feeling bitter and upset at him, I finally just said, "I'm going out for a couple hours, I know you'll do great".
And what do you know, he did! :)
So maybe schedule yourself a pedi/mani appointment and DON'T CANCEL. He will find his wings and I'm sure, soar high in the daddy department.
Please make sure you find you time. It makes all the difference in the world!!!! :)
Good luck!

PAY SOMEONE!!!!!!!!!! i have learned that you cannot put a price on sanity.....although I hate paying someone i decided i would rather go a day without eating than to be out of my mind..........i had 3 kids in 3 years (5, 4, & 2), so i get what you are going thru.........my husband was the same way about being with the kids, so if he wont take both of them then let him take the 2 yr old, make this happen every saturday or sunday....& when the younger one gets older (like 1) then have him take both......good luck

I feel for you! Everything is going to be alright, just take a deep breath. :) Now...I do agree that the best thing to do is put everyone on a schedule. What time does your 2 year old get up normally? I think that would be a good start. Then, as far as your 18 week old is concerned, there is a way to put them on a feeding schedule during the day that helps them to sleep at night. It's called the Babywise method, and if you would like more information about it, just send me a private message. Also, my 3 year old stopped napping around 2.5, but he still has "quiet time" every day. His room is child-proofed and he goes in for one hour to play quietly with his toys and books while I put my daughter down for her afternoon nap. Then I get at least one hour to myself in the afternoons. During this time I only do something fun for myself...reading or checking email or watching t.v. It's "me-time" only. Every once in awhile my son will fall asleep for a little while and then I get extra "me-time", whoo-hoo! Both of my kids go to bed at night at the same time, too, so I can have some quality time with my husband. I also made a rule not to do any housework at night after the kids go to bed, it's just "couple" time. So whatever housework doesn't get done during the day when the kids are awake, doesn't get done. It'll get done eventually, so I try not to stress about it. I am also blessed with a husband who is very good at taking the kids so I can get "stuff" done. Like today, I am going to the grocery store while he feeds the kids dinner. Little stuff like that really helps me. I have to ask him to do these things, of course, he doesn't think of them on his own. But I do communicate my needs to him regularly, and he is willing to help me. You should have an honest conversation with your hubby about how he needs to step up a little and take care of his kids because you need his help. I know you are exhausted, but hang in there. We're here if you need to vent. Good luck!

Could you hire a babysitter or mother's helper for a few hours a week. Even if it's just to go lie down or read a book. That was my savior when my second was born.

I agree with some of the pp. Your husband can handle them both and he won't ever know it until he does it. You don't have to leave for 5 hours but with a 4 month old you should be able to leave for an hour to go grocery shopping.

As for your two year old. Even though she is boycotting naps she should definately still have/need quiet time. My son starting boycotting naps around 2 1/2. One day when I was away my husband let him lie on our bed and watch a movie. He was asleep in 5 minutes. He's almost 4 and although he doesn't nap everyday he still has to at least lie down for 45 minutes most days.

I definitely feel for you! I have a 3 year old daughter myself and work full time. Sometimes I feel like I only get to rest past 9:30 at night, then I have to do it all again the next day.

I live in Elmhurst, so if you ever want to get the kids together to play and sit back to share a bottle of wine, feel free to contact me :)

Whoa... breathe momma.

1. Hire some help... there's no shame. Sometimes the best things for our kids is us getting away. Likewise, hire someone to help around the house so that you can focus on the kids.

2. Talk to hubby about how you are feeling. Resist the urge to compare him to other dads. Just let me him know what he can do to help. If he doesn't feel comfortable watching the kids by himself, ask him to do the shopping. Alternatively you can also divide the kids... let your little girl go to the park with daddy and you stay home with just one.

3. You need a schedule for everyone. The key to any stay at home mom is to have a schedule - that's what they do in day care. Stay regiment on it. Your daughter and then eventually your son will pick up on it - even with nap time. Put her in her room for 1-2 hours and then go get her. There will likely be lots of crying and resisting but after a few days she will understand that it's nap/quiet time.

I understand! My son was 28 mo. when my daughter was born. She was a challenging infant & napping her w/ him hanging on my leg really tested my patience (& I failed sometimes). I don't know how you feel about tv & my son didn't watch it until 2 1/2...but I put on a show for him while I napped my daughter (& I still do now...she's 17mo. now). This really made things much, much better. We do not believe in CIO & our more tender parenting style made things harder. I know you're probably tired of hearing this, but it will get better. You do need ME time. This could be 1/2 hour while your daughter is watching a show. It can be going out for a little bit after your husband gets home from work. If he gets home late, it could be a Sat. morning outing once the baby is napping. I was the primary napper of my daughter b/c I was nursing her. Maybe your husband can watch both of them for a couple hours on a Sat. so you can get out. Getting ME time will make all the difference for your patience level & sanity!! I know in the beginning my husband would call me while I was grocery shopping alone in a panic asking when I'd be home. There's a learning curve for dad too, but there's no reason he can't do it now on the weekend. Hang in there, this too shall pass!

You have got to get some time out to yourself, and hubby will have to handle the kids. You said paying someone isn't an option, well I would give hubby an ultimatum & let him know he'll need to pay for a mothers helper once a week so you can get caught up on sleep, errands etc. if he doesn't watch the kids half a day on the weekend. EVERY weekend. I had to do this with my hubby, and since he's pretty tight with money, he now watches our daughter, and I get a half day away every weekend. I found the only way it works, is when they are forced to watch the kids. Sounds mean, but it worked in my case. Good luck to you & hang in there!

Summer is coming. Kids will soon be out of school. Start now by lining up a young girl to come over and play with your older child. Hopefully you have a park within walking distance. It will be a good break for both her and you. Good luck!

BTW, I have felt everyone of your concerns. I think it is universal!