Marriage Counseling - Torrance,CA

I've been to marriage counseling and it helped me. A lot depends on the right counselor for you. The rest depends on whether both people are willing to admit to responsibility and work at what isn't working in the relationship.

When I said counseling helped me, it helped me to come to the conclusion that I needed to move out and to divorce my husband.

In my last marriage, my (narcissistic-- aren't all exes? :) ) ex husband finally consented to counseling as a last-ditch quasi-effort. Needless to say, there was nothing he needed to fix, it was all my fault and a few months later, I moved out.

With my current husband, we'd been together as a couple for about 2.5 years and decided that since we were in a rough spot and both of us had failed marriages, counseling would be a priority. We did it every other week for about two years, and then once a month until we felt 'fine'. It was about 3.5 years total, maybe. Hard work? Yep. We found a very insightful fellow who was able to relate to both of us. His first step was to bring us back to the foundation of our relationship: what we loved about being together. He really built a bridge for us, and was willing to ask us-- and make us ask ourselves-- the hard questions. His goal, I believe, was not to 'save' us, but to guide us into habits which really improved our communication with each other.

I'll also say that, within our relationship, we've had moment where things have felt they've 'cooled off' a bit. Less passion, more obligations in life, sometimes just my internal angst... it's not all romance all the time. However, if we both feel like good partners to each other, and decide to make more of an effort with each other during those 'down' times, knowing full well that they're likely only temporary, that makes things better. Not getting "excited" about each other is not scary to me like it used to be... now I see it's just a moment in a long chain of moments with a person I deeply esteem and have a lot of admiration for. Change up the routines, get a baby sitter, even if it's only for a couple hours at a coffee shop or the pub or doing whatever you two enjoyed doing before you had children.

Counseling is exercise for the relationship. It can strengthen it and keep it strong.

I don't agree with you that love can't be recaptured. Love is not a 'thing' to be captured. Love is something you do, not something that is. Love takes work and dedication.

I have been to marriage counseling many times with my husband. We tend to lean on it during transition periods in our lives. Once after our first daughter was born. Another time, right before and after our second daughter was born. And recently, as we realized we needed to work on communication, among other things.

It helps tremendously. I encourage everyone to go, even people who are happy in their marriage. We learn how to communicate more effectively, how to be accepting of each other, and how to be a bit more selfless.

I think any marriage is worth an effort to save, and what could it hurt to try?

Any counseling is good, especially marraige counseling. What could it hurt? If your attitude is about blaming instead of accepting responsibility than it can become heated. I have been married for approx. 16 yrs. and had on and off couseling throughout. It is necessary. Sometimes you feel things that are not right or need to be put in a right perspective. Marraige is a commitment based on an agreement to love and support one another for the rest of eachother's life. If you give up on that, what good is it to marry again? I once had someone put it to me like this "You never know what you are getting, but you know what you have." If what you have is not abusive or neglectful, than why not try to work it out and talk about it with a counselor.

My ex and I went to marriage counseling and found out that it works only if the two of you want it to work. He did not accept responsibility for anything and I discovered that it was best if I just left. A counselor can not come right out and say that the marriage is over and this is why but he sure pointed the obvious out several time without really pointing it out. That is what counseling does and if the couple is willing to go in there with an open mind then it helps. We made it through two sessions and I had the locks changed and that was the end.

Counseling/Therapy takes TIME.
It is not instant.
It only helps if the person is receptive to it and works on improving themselves.
It is not magical.
It takes time.
And you need a Therapist that fits you and is good.
Sometimes you even have to try more than 1 counselor.
But you need to give it time.
Just 2 weeks of going, is not long enough.

Love to me, does not get 'recaptured." It changes, through life and the relationship, metamorphosis, matures, and becomes different.
And it can be helped or nurtured or tainted or killed... by attitudes or unrealistic, expectations. And in those situations, killed by toxicity. Or if someone is mentally ill or abusive.

Just as an aside: I know of a friend of a friend, that is having marital problems and personal problems. They are getting "RoHun" therapy. It is a quicker type of help and about self-improvement and overcoming stuck attitudes etc. For this couple, it is helping. Almost, overnight. Each person being different.
I don't know much about it. But for them, it really is a good thing for helping their bad really negative aspects.
But again, it is what a person does, with said knowledge, and if they work on things or not, for the 'relationship.'

Counseling has helped my marriage many times and I wholeheartedly support it. Relationships change all the time and a therapist can help you learn how to adjust. It takes a lot of time and we've never ended our sessions because we felt we've accomplished all we can. I think life is always a work in progress. However, when your marriage is about to fall apart, a therapist can work fast to get through the dirt and take all the symptoms building up to that point slowly. I say give it a try even if it helps your own sanity.

We have done counseling several times and it really helped. One of them taught us to actually talk and listen to each other. How each of us listened and processed the information we were being given during the discussions. I learned a lot about how my hubbies brain worked.

We have done religious counselors too. Whose preset expectations were that we would stay together. He taught us our marriage was worth fighting for.

We have worked within the mental health venue also with case managers and workers whose job it is to help us with the problems kid issues. We are grandparents raising grandchildren. My daughter has done drugs while pregnant and one of the kids we have has some serious behavior issues.

I think therapy is well worth the effort if you have any interest in working things out and changing your attitudes and behaviors and him too.

Hello,
I think the problem with counseling can be finding a good counselor in the first place. And then, talkin about your "issues" when your connection to your spouse is at it's weakest does not usually work that doesn't mean your marriage is done, it's just a bad approach. U need to rebuild a connection to have a relationship. My spouse and I have used mort fertel's book and marriage bootcamp course and it has been very effective. The book is inexpensive, check it out on amazon. The program he has online is very pricey but truly has been very helpful to us. Google him, check out his website. Good luck and I hope everything works out for you.