Lost It on Hubby Today in Front of Kids:( Not Good:(

Don't beat yourself up over it, you are human. It's ok! I am sure your kids will be fine, good time to show them how adults can argue and still love each other. I am sure the kids argue too, now they see mommy and daddy are human too! Life isnt -perfect and things happen, and just because you exploded once does not in ANY way make you dysfunctional. Take a deep breath, hug your boys and relax! Hope things get better for you! :)

It's OK to have arguments (even loud ones) and disagreements in front of your kids. It's ok to flip out and "lose" it now and then in front of them. What's important isn't the fact that you had this moment ... what's important is did they see you and your hubby come up with a compromise? and did they see you and hubby taking on a new level of communication? If they did then it's GOOD they saw this. NO ONE is perfect ... NO ONE can stay calm, cool and collected 100% of the time .. it's just not doable. You're human. You had a very human moment.

Good for you for acknowledging that you had a temper tantrum and that you were sorry for it. Keep up the good work.

I think that arguing in front of the kids sometimes can be good. Kids need to know that adults get mad and can work it out, and just because you fight doesn't mean you don't love each other.

If this is the first time your 7 and 9 year old children have seen you guys argue, then of course they will be shocked.

Don't do it all the time, but it happens. The kids have to learn how to fight and make up as adults too. I have also had friends who said their parents had the PERFECT marriage and then they divorced once the kids were out of the house. My friends have been shocked, because growing up their parents never even fought...go figure!!

I did this not to long ago as well. I was hating myself for losing it so bad. Emitting my emotions was more damaging than therapeutic. And i knew it as soon as it happened, but it was too late to take back. If your marriage is stable, just reaffirm that you and your husband will not be divorcing any time soon. i remember fights my parents got in and it was horrible, but they always reassured me that they were okay. That should do the trick. Try to forgive yourself.

Your human... it happens to the best of us.

Yes your kids were hurt by it, but you know what they will look back at this someday when they are older and realize that mom and dad did fight in their marriage, it wasn't all roses but in the end you love each other and made it work.

While we all would like to show our kids the best parts of life and our marriage... its not always bad to show them that sometimes we do loose our tempers and get mad... but the end result is the important part.. it shows them that you are able to forgive each other and work it out and still you still love each other.

This can be a learning lesson for them also it shows them that even in their own actions when stuff happens they have to work it out, forgive and love each other also.

You are NOT dysfunctiona! It is OK for kids to see an argument now and then, it's actually GOOD for them to see a few AS LONG AS a worked out, decent result comes from it!

You and Dad had a heated moment, you fixed it. You now tell the kids "Well, Dad and I had an argument, we didnt mean to scare you guys, but everything is okay now."
Kids need to learn that arguments are ok and that lots of times it's a necessary way to get a problem solved. As long as there is no physical, crazy violence, it's a healthy thing.
Don't you want your kids to know the ART of arguing? They need to learn because one day it WILL happen to them as well.

I believe as long as the arguing isn't constant (and it doesn't become physical) it can be good for children to see adults get upset too. My husband's parents fought non-stop, problem #1. They also never resolved their issues or talked to him or his siblings about any of it. He went through multiple dysfunctional (and even explosive) relationships before we got together. We've been married for 2 years and together for almost 3.. He still refuses to talk out an issue. He thinks if he just ignores me the anger or hurt will pass and everything will just go back to normal. It is a constant battle. We have to teach our children how to manage conflict. And sometimes 'blowing up' gives us the perfect opportunity. Don't beat yourself up. You're only human. We all have our emotional moments.

Ugh. NO it doesn't "erase" it but I think you were smart for talking to them and apologizing! Do you know for how many household this is just the status quo (arguing parents)?
So good for you.
If I blow up at my husband (I have a 9 year old) I do explain to my son that I love Dad very much and he loves me but sometimes adults don't agree and we....um....let it fly? LOL
N., I know you have 3 kids, but TRY to get some O.-on-O. time with your husband--date nights, just grab a coffee, whatever. Then you'll KNOW you will have time to discuss stuff and maybe the blowups will never get to the boiling point? All the best!

I think it happens...

Its happened to hubby and me (we've only been married 5 yrs now), in front of our toddler girl. She goes a little silent, then she'd come to me or daddy, pat us gently and say words that I usually say to her to calm her down. We feel so humbled by her maturity.. :)

I remember my mom and dad blowing off steam at each other once in an occasional blue moon, in front of my sister and me. It didn't blow a hole through the roof, it didn't make us (sis and self) dysfunctional, it didn't set off any bad example for us. Just taught us that everybody is still human.. :)

Hope you feel more relaxed soon! :)

You did the right thing by talking to your kids. You just showed them you are human!! You made a mistake, you owned up to it and apologized for it. That is a great lesson for your children to learn. We all loose our cool, it is how we handle things afterwards that counts!!! Cut yourself some slack, we have all had bad days. I would take the time to have a discussion with your husband when you are calm about how you are feeling, that is the big issue here. If you can come to a solution you can prevent the resentment from building and another day like today!!

aw, mama. i'm sorry you had a meltdown, but love you for recognizing that it was you (so many immediately displace the blame onto their partners) and love that you apologized to your kids. not enough parents do that either.
you are not alone, and your kids will be fine.
:::::::::pat pat pat:::::::::::::
khairete
S.

This is normal-my children called me Sir and my FIL called me General-someone's got to do it-print this letter and read it to your family-it is packed full of a great explanation and an extra serving of remorse-I also bet that for every time you flip, you will temper the incident with 200 moments of love and tenderness. Why don't you let the little one cry and do the yelling for a couple of nights-it might be what you need to get some sleep...beginning around night four?? God bless you!

I've noticed a weird dynamic with certain couples (don't know if it applies to you) . . . there tends to be a passive person and then there is a more fiery partner. The more passionate person pushes, gives, cajoles, tries to make things happen - and finally blows up out of frustration. The passive partner looks like a saint and the fiery one looks nuts.

This is not a healthy scenario, and it's not always one-sided. I might seek some couples counseling to figure how to be more effective as a couple.

I don't think it's good to blow up in front of kids but you did apologize (good for you). Kids do not thrive in a volatile atmosphere. I'm just not sure if this is entirely your fault. I would get some help. Don't let a relationship issue push or lure you into negative behavior.

I'm not sure if this is making any sense . . . wishing you luck though. Hang in there.

PS: Counseling might help you heal from some childhood issues too. I always feel that's one of the secrets to good parenting - healing ourselves.

Don't obsess about it. It happens.

Hopefully this will be a wake-up call to your hubby that he needs to step up to the plate.

If not it's time for marriage counseling.

You are not alone. Happened innumerable times at my household. Sometimes on birthdays, sometimes on holidays, on the way to church...you name it. My one son told me I didn't know how to argue with hubby. I did the only way I knew how. I didn't ever want fights but he had attributes that were the most frustrating, aggravating, control freak traits and they just mounted up. I would put off and try to blow it off. But once the dam broke a lot came out. And too often while the kids were present. One time I got so infuriated I spit in his face. I was just so livid. And he wasn;t one to apologize, so things never really got resolved. Not until he got a fatal diagnosis. We finally managed to make peace. And think of all the wasted energy and time.
Resolve it now while you still have something to build on. But you definitely are not alone.

you did the right thing in talking to your kids about it afterwards and not just ignoring it. Feelings are normal, they need to know that everyone gets frustrated, angry, sad... and it's ok, but that if you do something you're not proud of... you appologize just like you did, I think you set a normal example for them, better than bottling it up... you admitted you handled it poorly to them, that's a big lesson for them.

You know what? You are human and every once on a while we all lose it.

I think this is a good time to gather the family and talk about what happened, how you feel about it a nd how you could have handled it instead of having a melt down.

It is also good to reassure your children you stil love all of them, that this not anything they should worry about and then explain the safety word you will use the next time you become so overwhelmed.

Ask them fr help. Tell them the ways they can help you not feel so overwhelmed.

Thank them each time they help you.. Aso encourage them to also thank you.. This is our n aural behaviors. We use please , thank you, excuse me, pardon me... It really makes us remember, we are not taking anyone fr granted.

Hang in there. I have been there too many times. It makes me so mad at myself, but we move on.

Good for you for recognizing and apologizing to your sons. I read an article once that said arguing in front of kids isn't really bad if they can see you make up afterwards so make sure that your sons see for themselves that you and hubby have made up. It's important for them to not just witness the fight but witness the reconciliation.
As for your husband, it sounds like this tantrum was in the making which means you should have a long talk with your husband about how you've been feeling (him being stagnant, unappreciative, etc.). This is a good time to open up communication with him so you guys can work on not letting it get to such a boiling point next time.
Good luck and don't feel too bad. What's done is done. Work on changing things so that you don't have to get to that point you got to today. I too grew up on in a dysfunctional home and swore I would never do that to my children. So I know how important this is to you. Don't worry - one time isn't going to scar your sons :)

Teaching moment:

Explain to the boys that human beings, regardless of age, have frustrations. Sometimes those frustrations come out of us as temper tantrums, which aren't healthy at any age.

And then share with them your plan on how to rise above next time and communicate more effectively or go for a walk (or whatever your plan is).

Just part of living - we all show our backside once in awhile. It's not whether you get knocked down - it's whether you get back up. :)

1stdid it feel good?! Now don't feel bad yes u build something up and exploded well needed. Now from here out don't show them moms here. Be the mom u always was no one is saint or perfect. You showed them that. You also showed them that your frustrations and disappointments should be shared regularly instead of building it up. So communication is a key. Second with three on the third dad looses his dad doesn't know where it goes it goes. He forgets what he needs to do and what he doesn't need to do. U as the wife to wake him up. Second you two are forgetting about you! In order to be good parents there need to be a good communication and relations. From the sounds of it you and your husband are way over due for you and hubbie time. You need to date each other once a month or once every other which ever your finances can handle. You and hubbie go either to dinner and a movie or just to dinner or go to the park or go do something together by yourselves no kids doesn't have to be an all higher but just a couple hrs. You need it and I am sure dad does too. Don't feel guilty about being human but I understand where your coming from. I'm in the same boat. I feel guilty too about stuff. But we are not perfect. We pick ourselves back up and go from there. Good luck and hope you feel better will pray for you.