Long Commute Started Today ....

My suggestion for a long commute is to find something enjoyable about it. My husband drives so he got a car he enjoys driving. Does he have a music player? He could make a commute playlist or listen to audio books that would help relax en route. Definitely a few minutes downtime help. What are his favorite things?

If you are really in Los Angeles....a one hour commute one-way is normal! Heck, when I lived in Upland and drove to LAX - it was 1.5 hours...and that was in the 80s'!!!

My husband had an 86 mile ONE WAY COMMUTE for almost a year. He is NOT a "road warrior" and needed time to decompress when he got home. So we didn't jump on him when he got home...we gave him about 15 to 30 minutes to roll his neck, shake his butt (lol) and just "be"....

I fix dinners my husband loves every night...not just on the nights he commutes! :P

My husband didn't want sex after commuting for almost 2 hours with stupid people...he saw more people texting and doing stuff than driving...I remember I saw a W. plucking her eyebrows and putting her makeup on when I commuted to LAX...I saw a man shaving too..thank God we didn't have cell phones then...I'm sure they would have been doing ALL of it...

What would I do? I would kiss him when he walks in the door. I would tell him there's a drink (even if it's iced tea) at his desk....dinner will be ready in 45 minutes....I love you...thank you for all you do...

Thats sweet of you. I wish I could offer a suggestion. My husband (now ex) always wanted to be left alone when he got home from his 45 minute commute everyday. How about having the kids write welcome home notes! You can write your own spcial note and leave it on his pillow! Maybe after eating dinner, rub his shoulders for just 2 minutes! The dishes can wait that long.

I would suggest saying, "Hey is there anything you would like when you get home after that long commute?"

my dh has a 2 hour (one way) commute every day, and when he hits traffic, which he frequently can't avoid, it's even longer.
i go all 50s housewife on him when he gets home. if it's cold, there's a fire blazing. if it's hot, the A/C is on, and when it's appropriate, the slider in front of the dining room table is open and an inviting breeze is blowing in. while he puts his lunch box away and pees and gives the animals their 'daddy's home!' treats i make us each a cup of tea and a small snack, crackers or nuts or something, and then we have a nice sit and chat over our tea, and he decompresses his day to me. then while i fix dinner he'll either work out, or have a nice veg in front of the tv.
at one time in our life sexy time might have worked, but that's just not the time of day we're into it any more!
the main thing we find is to sit, relax and reconnect.
:) khairete
S.

My husband drives all over the Bay Area for work, and is on the road for most of his day as well (we are general contractors and do work all over Northern California). Some days, he has a 3+ hour commute to get home due to the horrible traffic. When he gets home, he definitely appreciates a good meal, maybe a glass of wine, and for the house to be picked up. He doesn't *expect* those things, but I know he appreciates it.

Only an hour one way?
Not too bad.
I use to know some people who commuted into DC from West Virginia.
Talk about living in your car!
What ever you do - always give him some down time when he gets home.
He'll need the time to unwind and mentally separate the day/commute from his home time.
When my husband gets home (and his commute is under 30 minutes) - beyond 'Hi Honey, I'm home!' he doesn't want to talk for 15 to 30 minutes.
That's fine.
When I worked in an office I also didn't say much for a bit once I got home.
If a door to door salesman or telemarketer interrupted my down time - they'd be getting their head chewed off and spat at them.

First day of work is usually so draining. So a warm dinner and quiet house would be awesome. Then let him go to sleep early.

I used to do a 2 hour commute each way for years (before kid). I was on the train for an hour of that time and loved it. I could read, sleep, listen to music. It was very peaceful. Making the train on time was the most stressful part of the day.

Ah, well my husband drives 2 hours one way, 5 days a week. I also work full-time and our three kids are very active.

Monday/Tuesday/Thursday he picks our daughter up from dance, which means he may have to wait 30-45 minutes for her to be done, but it saves me from running back out. When I'm at home, I have dinner going (or made and served when he gets home), I normally clean up after dinner, I work with the kids to do the rest of the cleaning/laundry. So sometimes he has to come home and help, and other times he doesn't.

Honestly, he doesn't expect anything when he gets home. We both work as a team and have different craziness going on outside of work hours. That's very kind of you though to want to do something for him.

Added: He also takes college classes (starts back next week) and coaches our sons baseball team. He also umpires part-time during the softball season. So I guess we just both stay really busy.

Maybe, he could use or have handy, a little cooler in his car.
So that when he is in the car for that long drive, he will have something in the car to snack on or drink, as he is driving.
And then he will not have to wait... until coming home to snack. After work and after that long drive.

Oh sorry, he is on the train.
Well, does he carry anything with him to and from work?
A brief case?
What lots of guys do per my Husband's office is, they bring a backpack to work with them, and in it they have their snacks or personal items. For going to and from work.
In that backpack, you could have some snacks for your Husband. To eat on the train?

Wow, and I thought my commute was bad. I drive 75 miles each way for work Wed-Fri. I used to do it Mon-Fri for two years until last September when I was finally allowed to work from home two times a week. It usually takes me 1 hr and 15 minutes to get to work and 1.5 hrs- 2 hrs to get home. Sorry to hear about the long commute, but he'll eventually get used to it.