Less-than-stellar Fathers Day Gift...

Updated on June 22, 2010
R.D. asks from Richmond, VA
18 answers

I kind of feel like a jerk, because I didn't put a lot into my BFs fathers day gift this year. The girls made him cards at school, and I bought him a few fishing lures and... underwear. Seriously, he needed it, so I bought it. SO LAME. I had minor surgery on Friday which I am TOTALLY using as (a ver poor) excuse, since I've been trying to take it easy, but I don't know. I usually go all out and spoil him rotten, or at least do something small with lots of meaning. Noooo, he didn't even get me a card on mothers day, but that's besides the point... I'm trying to be the bigger person here and doing a pretty bad job at it. He DID get to go fishing this morning (he's been gone since 5am, it's 10am now and he's still out)... but I don't even have plans to make him a nice dinner or anything because I honestly just don't feel like dragging the kids to the store. How terrible am I?!

What can I do next?

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C.C.

answers from Tampa on

Every Father's Day (and every birthday and anniversary etc) can't always be absolutely fantastic with fireworks and bands playing for the person being honored. That's just the way it works.

2 moms found this helpful
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L.N.

answers from New York on

my husband went sailing yesterday then attended a BBQ. he didn't count that as father's day time for himself. this morning we gave him cards (girls and i), and he said he wanted a few hrs to himself. gulp. he has been doing yardwork since 9. that is what he enjoys the most,
i honestly think he got more than i did for m-day and yes i am looking back to compare notes. after he's done with yard work i am taking him out for lunch and that will seal the deal.

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L.L.

answers from Hartford on

Try making a list of all the great reasons he is the best dad. That will make his day :)

2 moms found this helpful
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K.B.

answers from Chicago on

I think you are being too h*** o* yourself. I'm sure he is thrilled with the fact that he is fishing by himself! Order from his favorite take out restaurant tonight for dinner and forget about making a big dinner. (After being up at 5 and fishing all morning/day, he probably will be too exhausted anyway!) If you have the ingredients on hand, you and your kids could also quickly bake his favorite cookies. Another idea that my kids have done before is a coupon book. Have your kids make up different coupons and put them together for a booklet. You could even make a few! It is fun and thoughtful! Good luck and enjoy your day!

2 moms found this helpful

J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Don't feel bad. Here's what I think, men are utilitarain meaning they like things they can use. You got him things he can use. So no worries. =)

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A.B.

answers from New York on

Hi R.. Your past posts have shown us that your BF is a devout fisherman. Giving him lores and a day to fish? Honey you rocked it. Enjoy the peace while he is out and maybe order a pizza. But you did good momma.

2 moms found this helpful
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D.F.

answers from Boston on

Send out for his favorite pizza! Mine went golfing and we are just gong to make breakfast for him and hang around all day. Nothing big here! I think you did fine with what you got him. Don't be so h*** o* yourself.

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

i got my husband a card that our daughter signed and he took her to mcdonalds for pancakes and that seems to have satisfied him. I think you're thinking too much into it. I bet he had a great time fishing.

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C.G.

answers from Davenport on

I think you are making way too much about it. He is probably excited that he gets to spend the morning fishing by himself. Order a pizza for dinner and enjoy it as a family....that will probably be perfect enough.

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N.B.

answers from Toledo on

Order a pizza and take a nap.

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J.T.

answers from New York on

Not so terrible at all :) I've been with my husband for 10 years, married 6 with a soon to be 5 year old daughter and 16 month old son. I've been a SAHM since giving birth to my daughter and have no help. My husband didn't get me anything for Mother's Day either and he knows I've dedicated every second of the last 5 years to the kids. I got him a Seinfeld trivia game and made him take the kids out (without me) for what I call the one day of the year that he Should be with his kids :) Maybe you should try the same :)

1 mom found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

R.:

It's not like it's his birthday. This is Father's day.

Don't over-react and don't put too much into it. Let him do what he wants today - he's doing it - he's out fishing.

Order dinner in.

Unfortunately - I believe that Mother's Day and Father's day are over-rated days for Hallmark and stores to make money. We would do best by treating our spouses like they are special EVERY DAY - and not have to purchase extravagant gifts once a year.

Every day I make my husband coffee, his lunch and dinner. I keep our house up and do things around the house - my husband feels spoiled EVERY DAY. Did I get him something today? Yeah - a Ryobi Flashlight that he wanted and the boys got him cards.

Hope this helps.

me

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

For the first time in 23 years I didn't go all out for my husband on fathers day. Every year I make sure I shop (shopped with kids when they were smaller) for a "wow" gift for my husband. I always make a big breakfast. we have dinner out or a picnic with father in law later in the day. I made sure he had gifts from the kids and from me. For 23 years he has made it clear that mothers day is not for him to celebrate. I am not his mother. he did get me a card. and he would bring me some flowers from the church sale if there were any left. i think occasionally i would get a gift card but the day was not a biggie to him. for several years he went on fishing trips with the guys and would be gone from Thursday till Sunday. cause after all mothers day was for me and the kids sigh... then he got into the knights of Columbus and they sell flowers on mothers day. for the past 10 years he leaves at 7am and sells flowers after church gets home about 2. then he sits and does paperwork. so this year I decided I was done trying to make fathers day special for him. I got him a card. made sure the kids got him cards. we went out to dinner with his dad and that was that. I don't think your terrible at all.

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H.H.

answers from Hartford on

I would not worry really. if he is anything like my guy he might just be super happy to have you think of him at all and just have some time to himself. I dont plan anythign on FD bc it is his day so I just let him call the shots. we do something or nothing...whatever he says. I also stay home and we dont have a lot of money and he actually hates when I spend it LOL. so I just got him a poster from Shutterfly that he can hang up at work w/ all photos of his DD on it, he got one last year too and said he loved it so I hope he does. he said what is better than being at work and looking at his beautiful girl......it was only $10. I would not worry, I bet he likes take out call some in for dinner...my hubby loves wings he would love that. xo

1 mom found this helpful
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M.O.

answers from Chicago on

It sounds to me like you gave him the perfect Father's Day. Time to himself, doing what he wants. Isn't that more important than a store bought gift? OK, so I would have given him the underpants tomorrow, and not as a gift. But I think the lures and personal cards from the kids are enough.

Don't beat yourself up. It's not all about the material things.

If you're still feeling badly, make him a nice dinner tonight. Men love food.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.H.

answers from Washington DC on

Um...5 plus hours of fishing with his new lures seems like a very GOOD Father's Day gift!!!

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

hm. i don't think you are required to spoil him rotten on father's day, but i'm more concerned about your not-very-veiled resentment about your mother's day.
did HE get upset about what you got for him?
you won't get him to understand what you want either by giving him a good example (which apparently you've done in the past) or being as ho-hum to him as he is to you.
you are not terrible, of course. but you do have to figure out some way of communicating your needs to each other better.
khairete
S.

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K.L.

answers from Washington DC on

You are not terrible. He is not your father. As long as your kids gave him cards, it was a good father's day. It didn't even occur to me to do anything for my husband. I called my own dad, though. I guess that's just the way we do it in my family. No big deal.

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