Kindergartner Throws a Fit at Drop Off

Updated on February 07, 2013
L.G. asks from Erie, CO
14 answers

So.......I have a kindergartner and ever since Christmas break I have to walk her to her class.. It is driving me crazy and making me very angry. Because I know she can do it!! She was great at the beginning of the year, I would pull up to the drop off lane and out she went. Now this is become an issue every day and sometimes I can give incentives to motivate her to be brave. I need to know if there is anything I can do to get her back on track. I am open to suggestions I have had her earn "HAPPY TICKETS" for the week but that seemed to dissolve.
Looking for any advice on what to do next! I am sure I am not the only mom to go through this I would like to know what has worked for other!
It's amazing how you can have so much love for your child but at the same time they can throw you over the edge.

I'm a FRUSTRATED MOTHER!!

tHANK YOU!

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for the advice.... reading your response have made me realize that it's ok to walk her up. I do have two other kids in the car but, I need to get over the fact that she did it before and move past it. Thanks for helping personally get over this. I feel awful now looking back at why I was so frustrated with a simple act. I will change my attitude and that will make everyone happier. again thank you!

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J.T.

answers from New York on

My kids never walked to K by themselves. Even my 1st grader gets walked to class everyday. It's such a sweet time. Is there a way you can walk her? When I see some kids in K walking right from drop off, I'm a bit amazed and sad for them. She's still very young. If at all possible, I'd walk her to class. I always wonder a bit what forcing them to be independent before they're ready does to their psyche long term. Maybe you could do it in small steps. Walk her to class for a while, then only part way and then she'll get back to goign on her own. Or is there a friend she could meet up with? She's likely just lonely walking in by herself.

5 moms found this helpful

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M.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Great response from Leigh R. I have the same questions. It would help to know more about why this creates a big problem. If it is possible to leave a few minutes earlier and just walk her in, that is what I would do.

__________edit______________

So impressed with the great attitude in your SWH! Rock on momma! We all have those moments and it is refreshing to see how open you are to change! :0)

6 moms found this helpful
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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Is there a specific reason you don't want to walk her to class? For instance -- you have a younger child in the car and it's a problem to park and get that child out and haul him or her along? Or you are on the way to work and it takes too long to park and walk your child into the building and it makes you late some days? Or is the issue none of the above and you mostly just want her to exercise the independence you saw at the start of the year? It would help to know the full circumstances.

If you have another child to handle at the same time, or you are headed for work and really need her to get to class on her own from the dropoff line, then you and she will have to work on this. Did something happen around Christmas? Did the long break at home perhaps make her more clingy? (If so -- give it a little more time or cut a deal that you walk her in only on Fridays because it's a "special day" or whatever it takes to wean her off having you walk her.) Or did something happen in class itself that has made her need the reassurance of having you around a little longer in the morning? I'd ask the teacher. Very small things that seem insignificant to an adult can really throw off a young child and make her want mom.

If your frustration is solely because she was doing it for a while and now is not -- if you do not need to deal with another child, or get to another child's school dropoff on time, or get to an office -- consider just continuing to walk her in for a while. In other words, if there is not somewhere you have to be immediately after dropoff, why not walk her in for a bit longer? She needs it; it's her first real school experience; and all too soon she will reject any offers to walk with her into school or anywhere else. You can gradually cut down how far you'll take her: For a few days, you go all the way to the classroom, then tell her you will say goodbye at the end of her classroom's hallway and watch her walk the rest of the way down the hall; then you eventually tell her you'll go as far as the school lobby and watch her walk down the hallway leading toward her wing; then you only go as far as the front doors and not into the lobby, and so on. Unless there is some real and pressing need to get away from school fast, it cannot hurt to walk her in and gradually go shorter and shorter distances into the school.

And if you have time, being able to hang around a few minutes after dropoff is a good time to talk to other parents who also walk kids to the door. It's how I met some good friends and also how I learned a lot more about the school than if I'd left immediately each day.

Of course if there is a real need to have her exit the car and you don't have any time for anything else, you may need to work with a reward system to get her to do this, and maybe even do some practice runs when the school is closed. Yes, she's done it before, but she might find it fun to do practice runs....

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M.S.

answers from Washington DC on

After you walk her to class is she okay being there? If so, just enjoy your time together walking her into school. She will be independent soon enough and you will wish she would want you walking with her holding her hand.

4 moms found this helpful

S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

At our school we have "Kindergarten Patrols". These are older students (grades 4 & 5) who walk the kinders to their classrooms. The kinders love the attention from the older kids and the older kids feel so improtant. Do you know an older child that may be willing to walk with your child?

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Have you asked her why she doesn't like to walk by herself anymore?

At our school, to walk to the classroom, the parent has to sign in, get a pass, etc. The whole thing take 5 mins, just to walk to class and then come back 5 mins later. So now I tell my daughter that I can walk her in to the office, but not past it. She seems okay with that, it saves me time, and I know she is safely on her way to her classroom.

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A.C.

answers from Sarasota on

If she's fine once you drop at her class, then I say keep walking her. I have a k kid as well and I park and walk her everyday. Most of the parents who drop off younger kids do, at least at our school. I don't think its hill to die on as long as she is fine once she gets to class.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Read her The Kissing Hand, give her a kissing hand, hug and off she goes, starting from her class, then from the end of the hall and then from the front door. Be quick, be positive, and clue her teacher in. Find out if something changed in the class.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from Dallas on

Do you know if something is going on at school? Have you talked with her teacher, is she ok once she gets in the classroom? I would think that there is something going on at school since she was fine before Christmas break. Good luck.

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A.G.

answers from Houston on

I know! You don't want her starting off her day screaming and crying or even start off your day mad or guilty.

Wean her. The night before, tell her you'll walk her all the way through. The next day you'll walk her up to a certain point...as each day passes the drop off point should be further away but make sure she knows about it at least the night before.

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R.M.

answers from Cumberland on

Keep walking-your support speaks volumes and ironically, it will produce a very secure child in the end. This is going to go by like a flash.

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

it is ok to walk her up if you have to. but something you could ask the teacher about is if they have mentor programs at your school. it is where the school matches up an older kid say a 4th or 5th grader with younger ones. the older one could walk her in each day. but the teacher has to instigate this program. have the older kids come to the classroom and do reading time first or help with math or whatever. then gradually move it to incorporate other things. and the walking into the classroom thing would be a perfect thing for this. my kids went to catholic school and they had the 6th , 7th and 8th graders doing it with the k, 1 and 2nd grades. it works out really good.

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I.:.

answers from Minneapolis on

Just wanted to say I loved your SWH. Good job!!!!

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R.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Do you work? Can you keep her at home? Kindgergarten is not required.

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