Is My Child Normal?

I agree with Kansasmom 100%. If I let my son he would have been a ZOMBIE all day in front of a tv. He wouldn't even here me speak, it was like he was in a trance. Limit his time and get him into the world of reality.

It sounds to me like he needs to be moved a little further away from the world of technology and closer to the world of human interaction!! Limit his time at the computer...and at the television. Start family time...get out some board games or teach him to play some simple card games. You live in a wonderful town for things to do and see...find out the kid friendly things in San Francisco and start visitng them. I bet there are all sorts of museums, hands on things like a science museum or nature museum. Start bike riding together...go to the zoo.
It is perfectly normal for him to be all wrapped up in the computer and the tv if that is what he is filling his free time with...that is why it is your job, as the parent. to open up the world to him....teach him new and exciting things...spend TIME with him. Time is the most precious gift that we can give to our children....and you will never ever regret it!!

This may not be typical. Call your nearest children's hopsital and make an appointment with a developmental Pediatrician. In the mean time, call a speech therapist, and get an evaluation and start therapy. Have his hearing checked. If you see fine motor issues, call an occupational therapist, get an evaluation and start therapy.

Write a letter to the school district, and ask for an educational evaluation because you suspect that your child has a disability.

M.

A., I would actually not limit his access to technolgy until you have help. This sounds like a hyperlexic interest, and to take it away will be very upsetting and may cause anxiety issues. This is a very common presentation, you cannot really stop this, and you will make him misserable by taking these away. If he is getting other forms of education, and stimulation, do not worry about his extreem interest at this point. It can be comforting for them, and you do not want him to find other means of comfort, some, you may like even less. Get him assessed as soon as you can, and start speech therapy and the other therapies you can access as soon as you can while you wait for a full scale developmental evaluation. MR

Not enough info to say if it's "normal" or not. The talking little and not understanding what adults are talking about are concerning. I'd definitely bring that up with the pediatrician.

I'd certainly recommend less technology, if at all possible. Some kids who have disorders gravitate toward specific things (like TV or music), so it's kinda a chicken and egg thing: is he doing them a lot because he has a disorder of some kind OR is he not talking, etc. because he spends a lot of time with technology? If you lessen the amount of TV, computer, etc. and things improve, that's your answer. If they don't improve, that gives you different info to work with.

I'm not a medical professional, so I can't say what I think could be going on. Definitely talk to your pediatrician and perhaps teachers at school can help give you information or input (assuming you don't homeschool, that is) that might help.

I would have a developmental assessment to see if he is on the autism spectrum.

I can't tell, just from what you have said, if your child id "normal", but it sounds as if getting an assessment from a child psychiatrist or psychologist would be a good idea. If there are any problems in school, you should ask for an IEP (individualized education program) and psychoeducational testing
to determine if there are any learning disabilities or developmental disorders. Good luck.

A little about me: Child psychiatrist, practicing 16 years, married 22 years with two kids ages 20 and 14.

Its hard to tell from one paragraph if your son is typical and just very into technology, or if there is more reason to be concerned.

Some people are mentioning autism because things like "reciting ad slogans from TV word by word" and "good memory" are not unusual in people with Aspergers Syndrome. (a high functioning type of autism). "Non-verbal learning disorder (or disability)" is another popular diagnosis.

Some people worry about giving there a child a label, but remember the reason to get a diagnois is to point you in the right direction for information on how to help your son, and in some cases, to qualify for services (through the school district or insurance companies.)

Parents Helping Parents in San Jose is a great resource www.php.com. They have an Aspergers Syndrome Group. They might be able to point you to a local organization in SF.

For a diagnosis up in SF, I'd check with UCSF. Bryna Siegel is considered an expert.

In Palo Alto, Children's Health Council is good. www.chconline.org

Good luck

He may just be introverted, but I do think his behavior warrants looking into. Talk to his pediatrician-make a list of all your concerns so as not to forget any. Have him evaluated for speech delay, and the autism spectrum of disorders, and emotional issues. Discuss your concerns with his school - have they noticed the any concerning behavior? If it turns out he's just introverted, then you can just limit his tech time and encourage more interactive play. If he has any mental health issues then you can get him the help he needs to lead a productive life. It would be best to know one way or another and the only way to know is to have him tested. Good luck to you.

I wouldn't be too quick to self diagnose a 'disorder' or anything. We seem too quick these days to try to lay 'blame' somewhere. This could be a lot of things. The lack of communication skills may, or may not be related to the interest in computers/tv. Talking little, and not always understanding what adults are talking about, can be totally 'normal'. Kids don't always understand adults. Especially when we are using euphemisms and such. Those are subtle communication skills that kids aquire at different rates. Not talking much could just be a shy kid.
If the tv is off and you are one on one with him does he talk? Can he tell you about his day if you has specific questions? Instead of asking 'What did you do at school today?' Ask him to tell you one great thing about his day and one rotten thing about his day. My kids loved those sorts of questions.
I agree with the moms that say to start getting him out more if possible. I realize that if you are a working mom, and/or a single mom, this can be easier said than done, but please try to do your best. Even just a walk around the neighborhood. While you are out, point out anything interesting you see and ask his opinion.
Personally, at this age my kids didn't watch any tv Monday through Thursday, and were limited to 2 hours a day on weekends. These rules were relaxed some for rainy days since going out was limited, or if we decided to watch a movie in the evenings together as a family, it didn't count toward their two hours.
We played games, read books (together), baked cookies, whatever. At this age they really like to help out. Try folding the laundry together, or have him help you put dishes away, or dust furniture. Doing things together will help with his communication skills, because you can talk about what you are doing as you go along, and it will also give you a good idea of whether he is hearing you if you are talking one on one without the distractions. If you see his speaking and understanding improve, you will know that the problem was just a lack of opportunity to practice the skills. If he is still really struggling after a month or so, then I would say get him evaluated.
My two...

If your son is in school, have you had any teachers express concerns in his progress? I agree with the other moms about gradually limiting his "techno- time". Public schools have diagnosticians and speech therapists available to you and your son, so you could start there. He seems to respond well to music, so maybe you could choose a genre that you approve of and he enjoys, and have it playing softly in the background of your home during this process. Be sure to engage him with activities that will distract him from the limitations. Using a kitchen timer as the marker might help too, espcially in the beginning. But don't leave it with that....offer him fun alternatives. A scavenger hunt (for example) might be a fun way to challenge his critical thinking skills and show him he can acheive rewards at the end. This will give you a chance to assess him in more detail yourself, as well.

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what is normal in a kid yours is normal for your kid

okay honestly I was a "child like that" I never watched TV shows but I would run in the room for commercials I could tell you all about everything advertised on TV. It drove my mother crazy! I would sing the stupid little jingles over and over again. I didnt talk much until I got older or was around my friends. My 8 year old has never sat through a tv show in his life but if you give him a cellphone, ipod, computer he is entertained forever. We actually have had to have our friends and family hide their phones because if he gets them he changes all the settings, ring tones everything.

i am sure he's fine, although a dr. is the only one who can tell you that for sure. i would suggest more activities away from electronics. arts and crafts, going outside to play, parks, museums, etc. i don't know your situation but is it possible he may need a little guidance on how to live a healthier lifestyle? get him involved in something so that he makes friends, like a sport or activity through the school maybe. peer interaction is so vital - and can help him with his communication and social skills. good for you for looking into this now. good luck!