Inappropriate Behavior - Everett,WA

I ditto everything Kelly A said.

I also have been around mostly guys my whole adult life. I had sisters, and they were pretty much my only experience with girls. Until recently, my ONLY girl friends were the wives or girlfriends of all my guy friends. Men are so different from women, and yes, totally clueless. He knows it is wrong, but why he thinks he is wrong and why you do are likely to be totally different. So I agree wholeheartedly with you that this is not okay, and would never be okay for you to do. But I think her advice on how to approach it is good.

Your hubby is giving you the silent treatment because he knows he is wrong. Ever catch your kids doing something they aren't supposed to do and you ask who did this and they clam up?! He is way out of line. Provider or not this is not appropriate. Find your voice. Since he is shutting you out just walk right up to him and say" listen I don't know what is going on with you and your boss. I feel this behavior is inappropriate for these reasons.....(state your reasons), also tell him this may all be fun for you guys but if this flirt of a boss is a psycho and you piss her off one day she will have documentation of you and your co-workers sending suggestive messages and guess who will be fired or charges being brought against ?and finally I would say I thought you respected me, our marriage and our children, tell him to not even try to turn this around on you because you checked his phone, that is rediculous and he better get it together fast. You are not giving him an ultimatum, but you are questioning his integrity and loyalty to his family.

Your Husband is VERY inappropriate... and I am SURE the other wives of those men... would think so too. IF they knew about their suggestive female Boss.
*Oh and by the way, is this female-Boss Married? Or single? Either way it is wrong... you DO know that, right?

AND... well he AIN'T being "shy" now, is he????

This, is creating a very harmful and potentially abusive work atmosphere... and what about the other women/men... who are "not" in this inner circle of "flirts" and sexually behaved employees?

If that were me... I would be pissed off... would tell my Husband off.. .and in no uncertain terms, tell him he is NOT a teenager and to get a grip. AND how dare he humiliate me and his kids... by acting like that. AND, I would help him pack his bags.

Him being a hard worker is no justification for him doing that or you allowing it. HE is letting it happen, he likes the attention... he is actively participating in their whole dynamics at work... and it happens to be sexual and inappropriate. AND he is doing it CONSCIOUSLY. There is NO excuse for it.
Him giving you the silent treatment... is SOOOOOOOOOOO out of line. How infantile of him. HE is wrong.. NOT you.

I would... DOCUMENT everything, for your own information.. and in case this situation gets legal... at work or others accuse him/them of gross sexual misconduct and discrimination at work... and for how he is corrupting your marriage and family and his sense of being a Dad and husband. Just thinking ahead....
What if the tables are turned. . .and this woman-Boss of theirs starts to "accuse" the men of sexually 'harassing' HER????

Next... how the heck would your Husband feel, if YOU were doing that.. with like the Mail-Man?
Your dear Husband... better be aware... that he is playing a very dangerous "game"... and it involves you too, since he is MARRIED... and if any legality comes of it, or accusations of harassment... it is HIS name/reputation on the line... and yours. YOU and the kids will be affected by it too. HE... is being dumb. Very dumb.

All the best,
Susan

This is very inappropriate. I would be very upset too. He is not mad at you but mad he got caught.

You need to bring it up with him. I would recommend coming from a place of how you feel -- don't just out right accuse of him of something because he'll only get defensive. If you can bring it up by saying 'something just doesn't feel right' or 'i'm worried about us' it could get the ball rolling. He may think 'oh no, what's wrong with my wife...' The worst thing to do is to ignore it and say nothing. I think too many times people bury their feelings and just ignore them. Women have a natural instinct and we have to learn how to follow it -- without making someone else defensive at the same time.

My heart goes out to you!! It will all work out. :)

~ Ann

Uh HELLO! I would most definitely not ask him if he felt he had to do that just to keep his job. That would just give him an excuse for him to pounce on. I would be so pissed at my husband and I would definitely draw a line in the sand right then and there. I would insist that he tell me what the deal was and that he better not lie because I would know it. He may have been flirting or he may already be involved. I know it hurts to hear this but I would definitely be asking some questions and insisting on some answers because there are deadly and incurable diseases out there. If she is flirty with everyone then maybe your husband is not the only one she is exchanging stuff with. Good luck and I really wish you the best.

While he may have just been joking it is still inappropriate. I would have been mad if I were you.. How would he like it if you were doing that? I'm willing to bet he wouldn't like it one bit. Stand your ground and tell him that you feel it's not appropriate. There shouldn't be anything on his phone that you can't see. The workplace is not the place to be "flirty" especially when he is a married man!

Good luck!

So sorry Mama. That is totally inappropriate and you have every right to be mad. He may swear up and down that he hasn't cheated and maybe he hasn't physically, but there is such a thing as an "emotional affair" that can cause even more damage to a relationship than a purely physical affair. As his boss she is crossing some serious lines but unless he is being intimidated by her or feels he will lose his job if he isn't flirty back, I'm not sure you could really call it harassment. I agree, he is mad he got caught and has no right to be mad. I'd get right to a marriage counselor so you can nip this in the bud. He has no right to be giving you the silent treatment, quite the opposite. I'd say he has a lot of explaining to do.

Yes, it is inappropriate. I would ask him if he feels he has to do this to keep his job, because that may be it. He may need to talk it out with you and come to some kind of decision or agreement. Find out his side of the story and take it from there.

Ditto S.H below me!!!