Ignorant Neighbors

Updated on February 27, 2011
A.F. asks from APO, AP
21 answers

Ok I have posted about my neighbors a few times on here. I am at my widths end right now, I mean things have gotten better then they were before but now the neighbors don't give a damn. For the past week they have been letting their kids literally jump and run around in circles dancing to what ever is on tv or what their parents are playing on the computer. This usually starts between 7-9:30 p.m. and lasts til about midnight. I am sick of having to walk up stairs each time I have a problem because I am 7 months pregnant and in a lot pain to where stairs are a challenge. It's a challenge for me to walk 10 ft with out being in excruciating pain. Right now it so happens that my 11 month old son is asleep and my husband is really sick. I can't get upstairs, I can't call anyone to tell them to stop and I don't know what to do. Best thing I can think of right now is keep banging on the ceiling.

By the way every time I am nice and can get upstairs and ask them to keep their kids a little quieter they tell me, "I'll try, we can't control them, and they are energetic." These people refuse to take their kids to the park to let them run their energy out so in turn they jump up and down, off furniture and just become a problem at night, weekends are worse because the parents don't care when the kids go to bed. Mind you like I said before these kids are 2 and 3, my ceilings are thin and my walls are made of concrete. And like I said before we haven't really had a problem within the last month and half, I ignore some of the playing but it just gets to the point at night where I've had enough. The quiet hours are at 10 p.m. but in the house rules it states ppl need to stay at a reasonable level with noises as not to annoy any neighbors. Then once 10 p.m. comes around then all noise is supposed to go quiet. These ppl don't care one bit and housing has proven to me that they won't do a thing.

And yes I have talked to them myself several times and yet they still can't be responsible enough to tell their kids not to run and jump after a certain time. I actually think they do this on purpose because they know I can't do anything about it. I am just really annoyed now. Besides tonight my husband is really sick and my son is asleep. :(

What can I do next?

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Cops would come if there is too much noise after the city noise ordinance time (often around 10PM).

I'd also consider talking to building management and see if something could be done or if you could move. In extreme cases, I know people who have changed floors or buildings.

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C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

A.:

This soo sucks for you! Living on post with neighbors like that is just outright horrible.

If you can video tape it - with a date and time stamp - there's NO WAY A child should be up until midnight jumping around. They are just being jerks.

Call the housing office, give them a copy of the tape and then ask to be moved.

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T.B.

answers from Washington DC on

If I'm reading your post correctly, you've already complained to your "housing" rental office and they've done nothing to intercede on your behalf. Do you have a cell phone with video recording capabilities or a video camera? If so, tonight when they are stomping around like elephants turn your camera on and record the noise level and also point it at the tv and record a current show you are watching to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt what time it is. People can fudge the date/time stamp on camera's so don't leave them an out to say "you could have changed the time." I'd record them for a few days then take that recording to your rental office in person. Demand they do something about the neighbors. Suggest they move them to a 1st floor apt which so that the children are not running and jumping over anyone's head. Make a log of everytime you've had to go upstairs and ask them to keep it down along with their responses of "not being able to control their children." I don't think calling the police will do anything at this point unless your local noise code ordinance states an early cutoff time, most are 10 or 11 pm. The police will likely refer you to the rental office since no laws are being broken. Good Luck and God Bless.

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R.M.

answers from Topeka on

Are you living in military housing? If so, you should have several avenues with the military to have them abide by the rules. If not, I would put it in WRITING to the rental agency that your neighbors are not abiding by the rules. Are you the only ones that are being aggravated by this or are there other neighbors that would be willing to go in on the complaint with you and write their own letters?

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C.A.

answers from San Francisco on

You must call the police and ask to cite them. They clearly do not care about how you feel or what you need. Simply put, they are breaking the law.

I had neighbors who played their music so loud that I could hear it with all the windows and doors closed. It was difficult to hear our tv over the noise. The teenager playing it was working out in the garage. For many months I tried to work with him and his family. I asked and asked and asked. They started using head games. "Well, if you had asked nicely...." and they started calling me names that I can't print here. I also tried having my homeowner's association deal with it. Nothing made a difference.....until I called the police. Even then, it was not effective until I knew the right thing to request. You have to ask for them to receive a citation. This means that they have to either go to court or pay a fine. (you never have to show up and I never received any information from the city that I had to appear). I did this several times. They were clever enough to have a different adult take the citation each time (this way the fine did not go up in amount). Interestingly enough, they never let their son (the perpetrator) take the ticket. (he was 19.)

Can't tell you that this was the perfect solution....my neighbors hated me and acused me of all sort of things. But in the end, the volume went WAY down so it was certainly worth the cost.

Reading over your post, you may want to call CPS. Who lets their 2 and three year old children play that late?

Good luck...The law is actually on your side on this. The law actually states that no neigbor can disturb another neighbor, no matter what time it is. I know that there are probably quiet hours but no one can 'disturb' another, no matter what time it is.

By the way, congratulations on your pregnancy.

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J.T.

answers from Little Rock on

OMG I remember those days. Let me just say that I know exactly what you are feeling. I HATE BASE HOUSING!!!!
You need to call housing and see if there is any possibility you can move. If not, then I would get off base completely. The housing was built cheaply and there is absoutely no cushion between the two floors. I remember I could hear the neighbors upstairs having sex at night, going to the bathroom, their small children waking up in the middle of the night crying.

I said all this to say that despite how awful it was, it wasn't really their fault. Base housing just SUCKS and until they tear down every house and build new ones, I don't look for the situation to get better. I understand how frustrating it is, but you need to understand that it works both ways. You can hear them, and they can hear you too. It's just more annoying to you because you are downstairs and can hear every creak and footstep.
You don't honestly think your neighbors are encouraging their kids to jump up and down just to drive you nuts, do you? I think it's realistic to say that the sound is amplified. To you, it may seem like a small herd of cows, but in truth it doesn't take much moving around on those poorly insulated floors to sound much worse than it actually its. Sure they can TELL little Johnny to keep it down, but he won't understand or will forget soon after. I'm sure it would be exhausting to the parents to constantly have tell their children to never play or keep it down. Just as sure as I am that you wouldn't appreciate it if they came downstairs and told you to make your 10month old or soon to be newborn stop crying because it was annoying. Lighten up on these folks. I don't think they are ignorant, I just don't think their is much they can actually do about it. It's all about give and take when you live in base housing.

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J.C.

answers from New York on

Check and see if your state adheres to the Warrant of Habitability. The Warrant of Habitability states that your landlord is required by law to provide a safe, clean and habitable residence. Not all Warrants are the same however.

We had terribly inconsiderate, rude, and ignorant neighbors living about us while I was pregnant with my son. They too never took their daughter out to the park to run around. The mom also claimed that she had to put her daughter to bed between 11pm and midnight so that she would sleep later. Ohhhhh those horrible nights listening to that young child jump off the couch, dump blocks on the floor, walk around with bricks tied to her feet. LOL

I too was very nice when I would go upstairs to speak to them about the nightly noise. I NEVER complained about any noise that was being made during day. I did keep stressing how they were going against their lease by allowing their child to make as much noise as she was after 8:30pm. This of course fell on deaf ears and they did begin making more noise just to spite us.

****To the poster that said that you would have done the same. I just have to say that is the most disrespectful, inconsiderate, immature, and childish way to behave. I would also guess that you don't have small children running around above you all day and night. It's usually those that don't that don't think this is a big deal.

Anyway, I began documenting the dates/times/noises that were being made. I did this on a daily basis and then compiled all of them and went to my leasing company and explained the problem. They contacted these neighbors, explained the situation and told them they needed to carpet 80% of their floors. These ridiculous people then began banging on my door when they walked by, yell curses outside my door, and had the nerve to send the wife's sisters downstairs to talk to me. Well, they were also unreasonable and tried to bully me. When one began yelling at me I called 911.

I must add: We were not in any way creating any noise or disturbance to this family. We only asked that they respect the fact that we were living below them. They couldn't.

I returned to the leasing company, handed them the 20 or so pages of noise documentation I had and told them that my Warrant of Habitability was being broken and either they take this matter seriously or we would either have to go into mediation or skip that and go directly to our lawyer, who said that we had grounds to make a case against the leasing company for not dealing properly with tenants who were breaking the common lease we all have.

They sent a letter to these tenants quite quickly explaining that if the didn't stop they would begin the eviction process. I was shocked! It worked!!! Well, within weeks those tenants moved out and we have never heard or seen them again. Aaaahhhhhh.

Good luck to you. I absolutely 100% understand how stressful that noise is and how thoughtless so many people can be.

Peace.

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M.C.

answers from Detroit on

Wow, that is bad. Kids that young should be in bed at that time. It sucks that you have to pay for their bad parenting skills. I would keep complaining to housing. Eventually, they will get tired of it and do something about it (hopefully). Other than moving out, I see two other alternatives here: call the police every time or get yourself a good set of earplugs. I hope this situation will be a temporary one for you.

Wishing you the best,

M.

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J.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

.

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P.M.

answers from Tampa on

Does the base have protective child services? Maybe you should contact them about the extremely late hours they allow their children to be noisy and rambunctious. If housing won't do anything... maybe a visit from CPS like people might scare the parents into actually being responsible.

You may also consider having your husband to apply for the housing allowance and to move off base onto the country's economy. When we lived in Germany, many families did this - because the German housing were more enjoyable and nicer than the military family housing.

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G.T.

answers from Modesto on

As an apartment manager I get calls like this every now and then. I usually let the noisy person know that they need to be quieter, but in all reality there isnt a lot that can be done about it. If it's causing medical issues for you have your doctor write something out and give it to you LL and let them know that it is serious and you would like to move to another apartment if possible. I've transferred some of my disgruntled tenants to other units but they also have to realize that it is community housing and it's not going to be quiet all the time, it's part of living in multi family facilities. With most of my tenants that come in and complain I just tell them they have the option to move if they so desire. If the noise is after 10pm and is continuous -- thats when I get rid of the offending tenant. If it's before 10pm, you cant do much. I read on the internet that you can sue these people yourself tho, but you have to have plenty of evidence to prove to the judge that they are over and beyond normal noise levels. Noisy, rude people suck. Parents should teach their children not to jump on the floor when you live on the second story. Parents that dont have enough savvy to teach their kids how to be socially acceptable and respectful are the creators of annoying adults as well.

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D.F.

answers from New York on

I live in an apartment and in my lease it clearly states that after 8pm, all residents have to maintain a quiet noise level, well every weekend my neighbor blasts music all night long. Like seriously, he wouldnt turn it off until 5am! I finally got tired of it, and emailed my landlord. She mustve talked to him, because I dont hear it anymore. Yahe!! Speak to the landlord, theres gotta be something they can do.

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K.P.

answers from New York on

I would file a complaint with the landlord in writing each and every time you have to go upstairs. If nothing gets better, let the landlord know that you will be moving as soon as you are able to find another apartment and that you will not be agreeing to pay any "fees" due to his/her lack of response to your very reasonable requests.

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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Are you on base?
Contact housing.
Contact the OIC of the guy up there.
Contact the MP's.

If they do not abide by the rules then they can be kicked out of housing.

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M.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

Tell the landlords you wan to move and do want any reprocussion for doing so. That is really all you can do if you want to be happy. And then when you move go top floor. I said this first because I don't know if you would read what I really posted first.

how many kids do you have? have you ever tried to keep kids calm at any hour of the day.

I am sorry my hubby and I had rented (just finally bought whew) for 10 years. if you don't want to hear trampling feet, you don't rent any place other then top floor. you can fight and wine all you want but the odds of it getting anywhere is very low. They really are not doing anything wrong other then living. It is very hard for a landlord to kick people out because they move. Even at 10 at night if they walk you will hear it, and you can't expect them to not walk.

I actually had a lady and her husband come into our apartment after multiple complains. one would stay downstairs and the other come up and see what we were doing when we were being (god awful loud) and to their surprise we were not really doing anything. it's just loud to have 4 or more people above you. To be honest if they had continued complaining about our daily movements I would have started to do it on purpose too. Just saying.

Tell the complex you either want a top floor for same price, or you want to move out without any issues, then find yourself a top floor if you want to be happy again.

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M.H.

answers from Dallas on

Are you able to move to an upstairs apartment so you don't have to worry about noise above you?

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T.P.

answers from Stationed Overseas on

I doubt it would be beneficial to call the police and make a complaint although it would get documentation of the problem. The reaction of these people would probably be that they become more unfriendly and as neighbors this would be more uncomfortable.

The one positive effect of making an official report would be that it supports the next step which would be to file a report with your local child protective services such as with Army Community Service. You may be able to skip the first step and go straight to the second step. You would need to discuss this with the child protective service in your area to know how they deal with such things.

This may sound mean or that I am being vindictive but I do have a reason. The children being 2&3 being allowed to run amok late into the night and the parent(s) not being able to or having no ability to control them indicates a larger problem. They may be overwhelmed and not have the knowledge to take charge and actually parent which in turn will most likely develop into more problems and may have serious consequences with the children as they get older. If child protective services gets involved they can help with counseling and parental training so that the parents do learn to parent their children.

There was a similar situation in one of the housing near here and the effects of such intervention by ACS has been dramatic on not only the parenting but also the couples marriage. This has been 100% for the better.
The couple in our area were not sure who made the report about their situation, it was done anonymously and were angry at first. They suspected various people and you will probably be accused when you or anyone else does so if it is done anonymously. Later they were thankful and now see it as a blessing in disguise. Some other neighbors are also happy about whatever happened (it was kept discreet) but they also have a good neighborly relationship with them now whereas they used to avoid them.

Complaining directly and banging on the ceiling has not gotten positive results and your banging may even be amusing for the children.

Good luck and do not be afraid to be firm. As things improve be friendly and supportive as a neighbor such as saying thank you for having the children be more quiet and considerate. The next neighbors will probably never know the gift you will be giving them when they have your neighbors living above or next to them.

Tom

Addition: To the answer that stated that on base housing is built cheaply. This is not necessarily always the situation. The standards are that they are built for stability and durability a which makes use of solid walls which are supportive of the weight that must be supported. Any solid wall will carry sound be it concrete or brick. I know this from personal experience of designing and having my own house built. There are areas that may be able to be extra sound insulator such as is generally done around pipes and under bathtubs but other areas are better insulated for sound by carpeting with a good pad under the carpet. Such would be cost prohibitive in military family housing with the turnover and potential of needing to replace the carpet and possibly padding more often. The tendency for people to not take care of things that they do not personally own is high and when it comes to budget limitations to maintain housing it would not be a wise spending choice. This would be like expecting one to replace the carpeting each time they move. Area rugs are an option for people if they choose to be more considerate when they know they have active children in general but this is again a cost consideration for many young families and there is also considerations of maintenance. As stated when one own something they tend to be more particular and this may mean carpet cleaner rental if it gets stained along with the need to vacuum over mopping which is a little more work which some people do not want. Carpeting is also not advisable in housing due to allergies, I have full tiled floors due to this with my ex. It would be a problem in family housing. I have had to turn down hotel rooms with carpeting even when they were clean because carpet will hold pet hair no matter what a person does afterward. I also passed on purchasing a vehicle that had been professionally cleaned because my ex showed pet allergy reactions within the first 10 minutes of a test drive.

The sound problem is standard no matter if the construction is a hotel, apartment building or other multi family building such as a duplex due to the concrete carrying the sound across multiple levels and even sideways to the neighboring units. This does not mean cheaper construction, often it is more expensive because of being more solid and stability considerations. Even materials such as "porotone" which is a highly efficient material for insulation which is a honeycomb formed brick made of clay used for walls tends to carry sound. One would think that the honeycomb would reduce the sound but it does still act as a conductor to carry it to other areas. This material is not inexpensive nor cheap in quality, it is simply a fact that the solid construction will transfer sound.

The problem in question here tends more to be being respectful and competent as a parent. Being overwhelmed and not knowing how to parent may be a factor to escaping to the computer and feeling attacked when someone does point out a problem or disapproval/dissatisfaction.
Intervention to resolve the problem is probably necessary and in everyone's best interest.

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E.M.

answers from Honolulu on

I assume your land lord knows. I would report to the land lord asking him to visit so he can hear if it is a reasonable level. Then have him act.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

If your manager can't make them be queit then it's most likely a loosing battle, find a better place to live. The police can help, especially if they do a wellness check to see if the kids are being supervised, if they feel like the kids are not being watched they can remove them from the home.

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J.J.

answers from Milwaukee on

I feel for you. I have noisy neighbors across the street and behind me. They blare their music up all hours of the night and my youngest child and my husband and I get all the noise. In the summer the neighbors behind us sit outside drinking and talking loud until 3 in the morning. We can't even have our windows open. Sometimes fireworks when we're sleeping too.

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P.F.

answers from Dallas on

If you can move then move. In the mean time, I would keep calling the landlord at WHATEVER time at night and let him/her hear the noise through the phone. Keep at them! If that does work, I would probably get mean and fire off an air horn at 6am! LOL! Hope it gets better for you!

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