I wanted to stay home this summer. My husband wants to go away he won. He says we don't have enough money most of the time. I am not talking about redoing our bathroom. I am talking about replacing the tiles that have fallen apart in the basement ceiing, replacing the sliding screen which no longer opens properly and has wholes. I fixed the toilet and took the wall paper off the kitchen wall and I found a table and resanded it and found 4 chairs for our kitchen. He has no desire to fix anything..NOTHING. Although he knows how and is fairly handy when he want to be.
I feel frustrated with his lack of go to attitude.
Many guys aren't that interested in fixing up a house. Be proud of your ability to do it cheaply yourself and keep it up. Try not to be annoyed of his lack of interest, because that won't be productive. Maybe you could convince him to do one thing a week.
Do you have any control over any part of the household money? Are you given money to shop for groceries, children's clothes, and the like? Start the syphoning process. Take $5 here $10 there and perhaps even $20 over there, place money in a safe place for keeping.
If your basement has a drop ceiling those tiles are about $5 - $7 each for the simple plain kind. With your new found windfall, you can pick them up either one at a time or a group at a time. Store them away. When you have collected enough money, you can have a handy man come over and install them. Send hubby on an errand or wait until he goes to work.
If he has a fit of anger, simply respond calmly in almost a whisper how busy he always is and how he never has enough money to get these things done but you found a way to do it.
You may consider doing something extra like selling cookies, babysitting, selling baby blankets or whatever you can do to bring in the money yourself without having to syphon off money. If you want something done, respect your husband but don't wait for him to do it. It will never happen. Just tenderly let him know you will no longer live like this and you want these things done and get them done. Don't argue just do it. If he gets mad, then just point out the obvious that he could have done it but never made the time.
By the way, it is just fine for him to not want to do things. He is who he is. Since you know who you are working with avoid the frustration by changing your expectations.
I hope this helps.
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Wow, sounds like you are living in my home. My husband does like to fix things but whatever he wants and whenever.because he is super handy. So in his case he wants to be the only one that does it. We actually don't have screens in the door anymore. When I start thinking about projects then he wants to go and sort of takeover. If I say I will get someone else to do it he shrieks. In the meantime he forgets he is only one person and does not have time to do everything. If it is a money thing, here is a way to handle this but I hate to be sneaky. Take five to ten dollars every week and put it somewhere safe. It really adds up. Then do some of these things. The ceiling might be hard so perhaps look for cheap help. Check out garage sales, sometimes they have wall papers. Might as well enjoy your vacation, that is one thing we have never done. We have done a couple of 'family' visits in other states which he feels are vacations. For him maybe. They are awful. Nothing like sleeping on floors for weeks at a time and watching your things because one of the nephews is a thief for instance. Oh well, that's for some other time. Sorry your husband has the lack of go attitude but you aren't alone. I can't wait to read the rest of the notes.
You are definitely not alone! I had been after my husband to fix the tiles in our kitchen for years and finally just put a small rug over the worst one. Now we are trying to sell our house so the tile miraculously just got fixed. It took about 15 minutes. Now we are moving to a house that needs a complete kitchen overhaul and I am dreading the whole process. Like your husband, he knows how to do a lot of the stuff, but does it on his own time which can be quite frustrating.
Ha....my husband is the same way...handy when he wants to be. I do agree with him about still wanting to go away. It's important as a couple to get away, even if you have kids and are bringing them with, to spend time with each other. A house can consume your life. There are always things to do...I know, I feel like all we ever do is something with the house. Make a deal with him that you will work on these projects, one at a time on the weekends. I have learned to learn how to do things for myself. Sometimes that makes him crazy. I will tell him this is my project for the weekend, and he will be like what??? I will just tell him, I really want to get this done before winter or it will be too late. Next thing he is helping me without knowing what hit him. lol I had a cordless shade (sitting in the box for over a year) that needed to go up in the girl's playroom, not a big job, he has done pretty much all of our other blinds/drapes in the house. I moved the box before a party and forgot all about it. Well, I saw it again and pulled it out, laid out his cordless drill and had it sitting on the table Friday when he got home from work. He did it sometime on Saturday only after I asked a couple of times if he could please hang it for me. It was sitting right in front of him at dinner on Friday, breakfast on Saturday......really??? I had to ask??? ugh! My husband works a ton of hours & even works from home after he has put in a 12 hour day (leaves the house at 5:30am & doesn't get home before 6) so I try to give him some slack. But, I agree with you, certain things have to be done...end of story. When things are falling apart, they need to be fixed. If money is not a big issue call a handy man, a friend's husband who is handy, or a door company and have your slider fixed. Sometimes I find that they know it needs to be done, they are not sure exactly how they are going to fix it, so they let it go. Once you get someone else involved to do a job they could have done, egos get bent and they work a little harder to do things themselves! lol Good luck!
My husband is normally a great guy but at the moment i feel like he is a bonehead too. My guess is your husband is out of the house most of the time and doesn't have to deal with the messed up screened door etc. too bad you couldnt' get someone he respects to come over and say Gosh can i help you get these tiles fixed, and i bet he would do it real quick.
I suppose the right answer is to tell him your feelings and reach a respectable compromise, good luck with that one.
do try to enjoy the vacation though, i know it sucks when you know darn well that money could be used for something that is a need not a want.
