B.S.
K.,
Kudos to you for noticing what you were doing and what you needed to change, that takes a lot of self examination and humility. Your son as you said is mimicking what you did to him and it took 15 months for him to get this "bad" (for a lack of a better word) so don't be surprised if it takes another 15 months for you to have the relationship with him that you desire.
I think you are absolutely on the right track with limiting your work around him and the phone and computer, that is hard to change but your son is worth it as you have said.
As a fellow mother I know there is so much work to be done you could be doing work all day everyday at home with grocery runs, laundry, cleaning, dishes, dinner etc... the list goes on and on. However I force myself to STOP what I am doing if I can, or quickly finish up what I am doing and play with my daughter for a while. Every day we read books, and just do what she wants to do. I have her in her high chair playing with pladough while I make dinner quite often so then we can
"talk" and she can watch but isn't bored.
What really helps is to include your child in what you are doing if you can, my daughter "helps" me with laundry and unloading the dish washer and vacuuming, she really doesn't help and often times makes a little more work for me but we are doing it together and she enjoys it so I am getting work done while spending time with her.
I also try and be turbo cleaner/worker while my daughter takes her afternoon nap which is usually around 3 hours so I have a consistent amount of time that I can count on to get work done like clean the bathroom, something I don't want her to help me with. I also try and get my email computer time in while she is sleeping, (like I am doing now)
I am not perfect and I don't always do what I just suggested and every once in a while there are days when I lay in bed and feel bad for pushing her to the side all day and spending very little time with her, but because most days are good with one on one time, she is ok if there is a day like that.
Also, maybe try and take him places that you can play together and he won't be in the house talking on his phone or where it's easy to ignore you. Take him to the park, the library, the grocery store and let him pick out a new toy or something. Something else my daughter and I do most days in the morning is take a walk, we "talk" about what we see, trees, dogs, people, babies whatever it is we talk about it and we are thus building a relationship as well.
Just spend tons of time with him and like you said try and make eye contact, tell him you love him and give him lots of hugs and kisses :-) and you should be alright in a couple of months if you keep it up.
Isn't it amazing the the Lord potentially withholds until we learn our lessons??? I am not saying He is for sure doing that but my husband and I are going through a lesson learning period in our life as well, different but same concept that I think we need to change and grow before the Lord will let us move on type thing.
Hope that helps a little bit. Again congrats on noticing and loving your son enough to change!
B.
I am editing my response...
One more thing I wanted to add was that my mom owned her own business and so she worked from home part of the time but she may as well have been at work because when she was home she was working and we were always a "bother" to her and she way ALWAYS ALWAYS on the phone, that is one of the main things I remember of my childhood with my mom, how sad is that. I don't want your son to have those be his memories of you. He is young enough that you have not scared him for life though.
Just another thought
