I Have a Crazy Postnatal Question....

Updated on November 30, 2008
M.J. asks from Wake Forest, NC
33 answers

I have 3 children...my oldest son is 4, my daughter 3 and a newborn who will be 4 weeks tomorrow. I had a great labor and delivery and felt wonderful afterwards. Things have been going good...he is even a great sleeper!!! For some reason though I feel so confused, nervous and forgetful. I mean like CRAZY. With my first 2 pregnancies I had "preggo brain" and was forgetful but never nervous or confused...and never to this extent. My grandma has lived in the same house for 45 years...I have gone there at least 1 time a week for the past 24 years...my whole life...and today on my way...I had to stop and really think hard about how to get there. I have to stop and really think hard about what day it is or what needs to be done....I have NOOOO energy at all. I also am completely unable to leave the baby. I cant sleep at night if he isnt right by me (I know its not a good habit), I feel bad leaving him in my room to walk to the kitchen for more than a few minutes, etc. I cant figure it out. I havent said anything to anyone...family, friends or a doctor...kinda trying to wait it out. I'm starting to get a little bit worried. Do you think this is normal??

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

First off, I would like to thank everyone for your responses. I greatly appreciate it. I called my OB and spoke with the nurse who didn't seem very concerned at all. Things definitely arent getting better though. My nurse told me to get more rest...which I feel like I have been doing. So, I go to see my OB doctor next Wednesday and if I dont feel like he is concerned at all or if things haven't gotten better I will probably try a different route. Maybe try to find another doctor. I will try to let ya'll know what happens next Wednesday. Again, thanks so much for all of your responses.

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.D.

answers from Louisville on

Don't go to just any doctor. Most doctors don't know enough about postpartum depression to diagnosis it. Go to someone who specializes in it. Let me know if you need referrals. Good Luck, it WILL get better!

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.W.

answers from Fayetteville on

I agree with the other women that say that you should probably go to your doctor. It could be nothing, but it would be best to get checked out, just in case. I don't know a whole lot about post-partum depression, but thyroid problems often occur after pregnancy and that can explain your symptoms, too. You certainly have plenty of reasons to have "mommy brain".

I have always had an uncanny sense of direction, and since my daughter was born, that gift has been gone. I have gotten lost on more than one occasion and at first it was very disturbing to me, but now I attribute it to a loss I sustained in the birth of my precious baby (much like my perky breasts and firm butt-he he). It is upsetting that it is gone. You pretty much had your babies back to back, and I am sure that has an exponential effect on some of the issues you've been experiencing.

As far as leaving your baby, I have to tear myself away from my children, even if I know I am going to have a great time. Other than work (I work two nights a week), I have been away from my children only twice since my daughter was born. I don't even like it when people at church want to hold her because I want to hold her. I was the same way with my son, and eventually we both grew out of it. Give yourself a break. Go see your doctor. Do what you want with your kids and don't feel guilty about it. They're only little for a very short time and then they will not want to be around you 24/7.

PS: I just re-read your post and I really think you need to get your thyroid checked.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.C.

answers from Wilmington on

Dear M.,

Congratulations on your new baby!
I recommend that you see your doctor (before Thanksgiving) and let your husband know what's going on, too.
Take a copy of this posting to the doctor with you. Let your doctor determine if you would or wouldn't benefit from medication to get past this. Although this is probably postpartum depression, there are other things that might cause these symptoms.

Meanwhile, I've always said, "Motherhood rots the brain";)
Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.C.

answers from Raleigh on

I know that most women go through something like this to a minor extent. However I saw Dr Oz on Oprah and he said that your brain has to give some of its own omega3's to develop the babies brain and that after birth your brain may be suffering from a deficiency because you gave so much to your baby. I would definately talk to your doctor but maybe try to eat some salmon or take a fish oil supplement it would be worth a try.

1 mom found this helpful

T.C.

answers from Lexington on

You are not crazy..the only thing crazy is you not mentioning it to anyone, especially your husband and doctor!
3 kids in about 4 years and you are wondering why you are scatterbrained? Seriously! You are tired, your body has been on the up and down hormone cycle for years..you need a break! Let your hubby know and if he is a real man he will be able to help lighten the load or at least do as you ask. The first thing about being a super mom is learning how to ask for help and then accepting it. Ask for help now before you become burnt out and do something really everyone will regret later. By keeping this all inside you will start to resent those around you for not helping or seeing what you are going through and that won't be fair to anyone, yourself included.
If that doesn't seem to help, then talk to your doctor. You are not weak or a failure if you do this. You're just selfish if you don't.
God Speed and keep on truckin' :)

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.D.

answers from Jackson on

M.,

Congrats on the new baby. I agree with a previous post...print out your question and description from above and take it to your doctor. You were honest when you were typing above (sometimes when you go to the dr you forget to tell them something or you might make it sound like it is really no big deal). Let your dr read it so they will really see what it going on. I suffered from depression and I "chickened" out of telling anyone b/c I thought it would pass and I was just being silly. I wrote a letter to myself and after ward reread it. I realized I did need to see someone so i took the letter with me to my dr and let her read it. I wasn't being silly, I did have something wrong with me. And I got the med help I needed.

You need to take care of you so you can take care of your wonderful children. Don't brush it off b/c if it is post par depression it will not go away on its own...don't talk yourself into thinking it will. I will pray that you have the strength to confront this.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.L.

answers from Jacksonville on

If you're worried, go with that. Follow your gut; this doesn't seem normal to you, so it's not.

I've been seeing a naturopathic physician (ND) since about March of this year, for infertility and other issues. I've never gotten much help from MDs (though I know they do a lot of good for a lot of people, but I don't like drugs with all their side effects, and they haven't helped me anyway; I'm not a nature girl or anything like that). I'm now pregnant, and she has advised me to take lots and lots of fish oil every day, particularly with DHA. She says this is for ME, to keep me from having the pregnancy brain fog, and to prevent post partum depression. She advised me to take 2000mg/day of fish oil with DHA. She recommended Nordic Naturals, as they don't taste fishy, and are chewable, and have lots of DHA. You can find them at www.vitacost.com, and elsewhere. That was just a few days ago, and I've just been taking 6/day of the big Costco bottle of fish oil that we already have, and I've been more cheerful and feeling better (along with eating protein etc. every two hours to prevent nausea, which works).

Continue taking prenatal vitamins. I had some cheap target prenatals on hand, and they didn't have some things in them that she recommended and that are in higher quality prenatals (specifically iodine and copper). Your body and brain are probably depleted with all these pregnancies. Take it easy, and get the help you need. The fish oil/DHA is worth a shot before taking drugs that you couldn't nurse with and that have so many side effects, and often don't help. But then if you do need to go that route, don't feel bad. Also if you have no energy, something else could be going on. The ND diagnosed me with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, which is where the body attacks itself, namely my thyroid. I've always had all the symptoms for hypothyroid, but again no MD would ever figure it out. She tested me for thyroid antibodies, which sure enough were very high. I take iodine and/or kelp (among other things, but cut some out now that I'm pregnant) which help to stop the destruction of the thyroid. If I get really cold and so tired and sleepy that I can't function, I take one of those, and within an hour or less I'm functional and warm again. That may not be your specific problem, but if you're not getting help from your doctors, there are other "doctors" out there (she went to four years of naturopathic medical school after college, and really knows her stuff). There are quacks out there as well, who might call themselves naturopaths, so be careful.

I read an autibiographical book by Brooke Shields a while back. It was about her major post partum depression. It was really good, and I'm sure you might identify with her. It's called Down Came the Rain. I actually found it at the dollar tree a few years ago, but it's probably on amazon.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.D.

answers from Nashville on

M.,
Schedule a complete physical immediately with your primary care physician. There are several medical conditions with those symptoms. You have three children who need their mom so don't put your own needs on the back burner. Take care of yourself!
S.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.J.

answers from Greensboro on

That sounds like what I went through, only it didn't eventually get better... About 6 months after my first son was born, I became irrational -- not about my son, but about everything else in the world. Even though I KNEW my husband was leaving for work, I would cry and say, "you just want to get away from me, that's why you're leaving." stuff like that... the ONLY comfort I had was holding my son, playing with him, all about him. I turned off the ringer on the phone and just thought it was normal to consider myself "unreachable" everyday. not much contact with other people... Eventually my husband gently and sweetly said, "why don't you call your Dr., you're just not YOU lately." MY IRRATIONAL RESPONSE: "that's just what you want; for me to be on drugs so you can WALK all over me..." he said, "please think about what you just said to me, think about what the real you is like, I'm leaving for work now..." a few minutes later, I called his cell to let him know that I had a Dr. appt. In the Dr.'s office I broke down in tears and just bellowing over and over again, "is this normal, is this normal?!" they looked at me with such sympathy, knowing that I just waited too long to make that appt...
so, I was on 10 mg generic prozac, for about 6 months, after both of my boys were born. I'm expecting my 3rd in March. I never felt druggy, I just felt normal, RATIONAL. Weepy, forgetful, sleepy -- that's all part of post-pardum to SOME degree BUT if you become irrational (let your loved ones help you spot the signs, b/c you may not be able to) go see Doc. good luck, I hope you feel better :)

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.C.

answers from Raleigh on

I know how hard it must be for you to be dealing with this alone. I suffered from depression after my first son was born but was ashamed to share it with anyone. It finally took a friend coming to me and pointing out I had a problem. I think that for your health, and the health of your family, you should confide in a loved one or a close friend and see your doctor. There may be a perfectly good explanation for all of this. It may not be linked to the pregnancy at all. Take care of yourself and keep us posted...

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.P.

answers from Memphis on

Get your blood tested for anemia -- that can cause tiredness.

I think it's great that you sleep with your baby; the anxiety is probably not that great, but until you figure out what the problem is, you can carry him in some sort of baby carrier or sling (there are **so** many kinds out there; I've only used a sling), and then you don't have to even leave him. It may be that there is something intuitive you're picking up on that you can't quite place, but is a good reason for your feelings.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.T.

answers from Raleigh on

M.,
Personally, I would talk to a doctor, as they are going to have the most current and correct info. Unfortunately, as much as our friends and families want to help, they may just suggest continuing to "wait it out." I would also be worried by the symptoms, so I would seek medical advice.

Good luck!
D.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

V.C.

answers from Louisville on

M., you have a lot of good suggestions to consider but I want to emphasize to have your thyroid checked, it is just a simple blood test... this sounds so much like me and when I finally got it checked as I knew nothing about this sort of thing, I was VERY sick! Just go and rule it out.

Other than that... hang in there and do what is best for you and your family.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.M.

answers from Louisville on

oh hunny please call your doctor. if you have a therapist even better! i have suffered from anxiety since i was 6 and these are very common signs you are describing. get this under control now before you end up like me... not working, on disability, cant drive, and can hardly be alone... please talk to your doctor

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.M.

answers from Louisville on

I cut and pasted two articles I read in an online wellness forum, Vital Choices. It is not the first time I read this information. I think you need more fish oil especially if you are breast feeding.

"Omega-3s Cut Child Allergies in Clinical Trial
Swedish study finds that higher maternal omega-3 intake reduces infants' allergy risks
by Craig Weatherby

The human immune system uses the omega-3 and omega-6 fatty acids in cell membranes to make messenger chemicals called eicosanoids.

Eicosanoids, which were made famous by Barry Sears' Zone diet books, give orders to immune cells: orders that can start inflammation, control how fiery it will be, and end it.

The omega-6 fatty acids in which American diets are overloaded are used to make eicosanoids that prompt inflammation, while the eicosanoids made from omega-3s are either moderately inflammation. Click for full story]

Omega-3s for mothers,
infants, and children
Here is what widely respected pediatrician William Sears, M.D., told us in response to our question about the proper intake of omega-3s by mothers and children.

"... experts attending a 2005 workshop recommended at least 300 mg [of omega-3s] a day for pregnant and nursing mothers (most mothers get only 20-25% of this amount, unless they take omega-3 fish oil supplements). In our medical practice we have mothers take at least 500 mg of DHA per day during pregnancy and lactation."

"The recommendation for infants is at least 200mg of DHA per day, which is the dosage added to infant formulas."
"Practically speaking, infants under one year old receive their omega-3s through mother's milk or fortified formula, but it is perfectly safe and perhaps even beneficial for infants to be given extra Vital Choice fish oil at a dose of around 300 mg a day* of DHA. I stress DHA rather than EPA because DHA is the main brain growth omega 3."

*NOTE: There are as yet no official omega-3 intake recommendations for children over two years of age, so please consult your pediatrician.
A dose of 300 mg of DHA would be provided by 8 of our 500 mg Salmon Oil capsules, 4 of our 1000 mg capsules, or 1 teaspoon of our Liquid Salmon Oil.http://newsletter.vitalchoice.com/index000234320.cfm

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

W.W.

answers from Louisville on

It sounds like it could be Post-Partum Depression, which can be very serious, but also is very treatable. please talk to your Dr. or if you have health insurance, find a psychiatrist or counselor to see. I have a background in counseling & have worked with moms for over 10 years. I know it is hard having 3 kids because I have 3 myself, so some of those feelings are normal, but i do think to be on the safe side you need to talk with a professional. Let us know how you are!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.M.

answers from Knoxville on

Sounds like hormonal imbalance that can be easily corrected with medication. Please call you ob/gyn! do not let it go!
L.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.W.

answers from Clarksville on

Hormones, probably, thyroid, maybe, okay to talk to your doctor - definitely. You are normal and things will be okay.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.R.

answers from Knoxville on

I would definitely talk to the dr. It could just be hormones but it could be something underlying that the doctor would know what to check for. Good Luck

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.H.

answers from Louisville on

I definately think it is post pardom. I had it when I had both of my children. It can be fixed but you must see your OBGYN or other doctor to get meds. Hope it all works out I know how upsetting it can be and overwhemed you must feel at times. I was the same way. T.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.B.

answers from Raleigh on

Oh Girl!
You have preggo brain so bad you forget how long it can take to recover from!

I think you are probably just fine! Give yourself at least 4 months & if things are not starting to improve, talk to your OB, your General practitioner, your Pediatrician. I actually got most of the best advise from the pediatrician!

Your hormones will need time to settle down. Stay on your prenatal vitamins! and YOGA is really great for BALANCING HORMONES, plus reducing stress. Even just 5 - 10 minutes a day can make a big fat difference.

Hang in there! You'll be ok.

P

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.B.

answers from Charlotte on

I only have 2 children, so I really can't know how you feel. But, I can tell you that I have those days, and my kids are 9 & 11. I really believe it has to do with all the things Mom worry about. I too am a SAHM and we put a lot of pressure on oursleves. I'm sure it is nothing more than what most other women go through. I often thought I wanted 4 children and I find myself thinking....what would I be like with more than I have.....just telling you we all go through the scatter brain phase. ANyway, try not to think bad things about it. I'm sure it will take you a few months to adjust. Quite a few months. You should talk to your doctor, though. And talk to other moms as well. I'm sure you will get a ton of responses from here.

On a side note, would you like to try some great energy products from my business? I have some great, organic vitamins that I sell...as well as healthy energy drinks. I can send some samples to you. I LOVE them. They really work and are good for you.

Keep your chin up, being a SAHM is not easy. Just take it one day at a time. Know that the children are top priority and if nothing else gets done for the day (laundry, dishes, clean,etc.) all that stuff will be there the next day. It's not a big deal.

I hope that helps. Please get back to me about the samples.
P.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.M.

answers from Lexington on

Please call your doctor as soon as possible! Postpartum depression can take all kinds of forms. When my third baby was born I had a 3 and a 1 year old. When the baby was two weeks old my girls stayed home with their Dad, and my Mom and I and the baby were running errands. It was 90 degrees outside and I was waiting for my Mom to get out of the car so I could lock it. I was getting really irritated with her (not my usual temperament) because she was taking so long. Then I saw her emerge from the car with the baby. I couldn't believe that I had forgotten him!

It is one thing to forget how to get somewhere but the confusion can result in much more serious consequences. What would have happened if my Mom hadn't been with me that day?

Please tell someone, it may be nothing but better safe than sorry. Hang in there, this really is the toughest job you will ever have.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.D.

answers from Raleigh on

GREEN TEA! GREEN TEA! GREEN TEA! with Gynseng.
It may be a psychological thing but it works and I believe it does. (Check with your Dr. to make sure if it's ok if you are nursing).

Drink it hot (tea bags)
- boil water
- squeeze of lemon
- honey
- pinch of ginger (ground)

-Drink it cold (above - let cool add ice)

- Canada Dry Green tea ginger ale

I have even use this for cold remedies for my husband and I.
Forget the sleepy theraflu. GREEN TEA is just one....

google: antioxidants

for more information

J..
www.youravon.com/jdolby

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.W.

answers from Huntington on

well, this may sound crazy too, but it could be a urinary tract infection or some kind of chemical imbalance. Any UTI sx?(burning on urination, frequency, low back pain) Pee in a cup, and see if its cloudy or clear. Are you still taking your prenatal vitamins? If not start back on them.

D.N.

answers from Nashville on

Wow..If I didn't know any better I would think your name was D..... I know EXACTLY what your going through. My baby is 9 months and to this day I think my brain flipped over during delivery. I forget everything. I can sit something down and go back not even 5-10 mins later and can't remember for the life of me where I put it. I never mentioned it to anyone other than my husband and sometimes thought I was actually going crazy. I have tried to sleep without Kaiden with me and I can't even go 10 mins without him next to me at night. I know how dangerous it can be but I just can't. I hope things get better for you and if you find a solution, PLEASE let me know,lol. Good luck

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.F.

answers from Johnson City on

Hi M., When you go to your doctor ask for a full Thyroid Panel!!! Just a basic test may not detect anything. I know that I was feeling very strange all of the same symptoms after my pregnancys...My doctors did seem to think much of it and even did a basic Thyriod test and said I was fine. It got very bad and dangerous during my third and I went to an endocrinologist who said I should have been on a thyroid medicine during the first pregnancy. The TSH should be at about 1 many doctors say it is ok at 5 but they are learing this is wrong-mine was 28 by they time I started treating it and I was in bad shape-It effects everything!!!Hope this helps...~meredith

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.J.

answers from Lexington on

I would imagine you're simply overwhelmed. It's great that your baby sleeps well, but you still have a big new responsibility with this little one. And you've had three children in a little over four years. I did that, too, and even though my third was also a good baby I felt that I was in over my head for a little while. You and your husband are outnumbered now. Before you could divide the kids up--one for him and one for you. Now what?

Don't worry. Indulge yourself for now and try not to think about what it all means. Soon you'll all settle into a new routine that includes your new little boy and you'll feel much calmer.

Don't forget, too, that you still have hormones going crazy on you. Yours were apparently well-behaved during this pregnancy. Now they're letting loose. Go with it. You'll still be a good mother.

You may want to mention this to your doctor when you go back for your 6-week check-up so he or she can reassure you.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.H.

answers from Raleigh on

Hey M.,
There is a great group in our local area that I refer alot of moms that just have the feelings of being overwhelmed that can manifest in many ways. The info is included below. The woman that runs it is a busy mom herself and very easy to talk to and is a great resource.
I too just had a son at the end of Oct, my second and I have had very similar issues, extra sleep has been a big problem for me and it makes everything else worse. But do talk to Anne, the group is overseen by local MD professionals also, so it is great. Check out www.momssupportingmoms.net

Moms Supporting Moms - Raleigh/Cary/Triangle, NC. Volunteer led support with meetings held 2nd and 4th Thursday in Raleigh, NC and 1st and 3rd Tuesday in Cary, NC. Contact a co-facilitator for more information: Anne Wimer, ###-###-####, ____@____.com

Best of luck and I am right there with you dealing with the love and stressses of a newborn. Email me if you would any other info otherwise check with Anne and/or your doctor.
D. Hedgepeth, DC
Diplomate Pregnancy and Pediatric Chiropractic
www.KeystoneChiropracticNC.com

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.J.

answers from Memphis on

I'm not sure if that's normal, you may want to see a specialist, endocrinologist, psychologist, neurologist or your primary care physician. After I delivered my son I had tremors and shakes and dropped things constantly. Doctors checked my potassium but said all was normal. Eventually they went away but I was still concerned. Good luck.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

W.M.

answers from Nashville on

I think all those things could be normal on some level but to the extent you are experiencing them sounds much. I would definitely call your OB right away. It can't hurt, that is what they are there for. It could be some type of post partum, I have "mommy brain" still and my daughter was born 3 yrs ago...but to your extent, I would give your doc a call for sure.

W.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.S.

answers from Hickory on

Could be postpartum depression--and don't feel guilty about it. Stop keeping this to yourself and start talking to your family--they can help you take care of yourself and your kids.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.G.

answers from Wilmington on

Try taking fish oil. If we don't have enough good fats in our diet our body will give the baby the good fats from our bodies. This can greatly effect brain function. Your body may be more depleted of these fats since you have had 3 pregnancies fairly close together. Hope this is helpful. Good luck.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions