I Can Not Believe What My 7Year Old Just Was Doing! How to Punish for This?

Updated on June 30, 2012
E.B. asks from Tacoma, WA
33 answers

Little back ground.....I have 4 bulging Disc's in my back and a tail bone that is shifted to the side...SO I am not moving much.

Normally I have a friend who comes and helps tend to the kids. Friday is her ''day off'' so to speak...So I am flying Solo.

My kids were back their room(because it is raining here today)watching a movie and supposedly coloring.

I am hearing lots of goggles, followed by my middle man coming out totally naked covered in marker.

Newly Added:.....Ok I am ok with over reacting cause I can auto correct that..........And now I am smiling......Thank You for making that light:)

I can go back to letting him mess their room up:).....Darn RAIN!!

Not just that though it is on his privates and butt.

I go into the bedroom and my youngest is stark butt naked and has marker all over his privates and butt.

When I asked who did this the kids all fessed up right away.

I feel so ashamed right now that he would think this was ok?

I have explained to him that those are not for anyone but himself....that you do not let anyone touch, nor do you touch anyone's.

I am also grossed out. I dont know what would drive him to do something like this.

His butt is now parked in time out. I am not sure what more to do. He has lost everything that means life to him through other actions he has had....all in the first week of summer.

Please tell me kids do this weird stuff...and I dont have to be concerned I may have a bigger issue here....I am just so ashamed for him and myself for the fact he did something like this.

What should I use as a educational punishment for this. I want him to learn boundaries of what is ok and what is not ok when it comes to peoples bodies and space....

How would you handle this?

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

Oh Thank God this is why I love this site so much.....Helps make the weird stuff more normal!!

I even told my oldest I was sorry for overreacting. That it was just sad for mommy to see he had done that to his brother's private parts.

Whew, the things you dont expect to hit while in the parenting profession:) Thank Goodness for you ladies:)

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

Overreaction. Have them take a bath, and take away the markers.

There is nothing to be ashamed about. They're siblings in their own home. There's nothing dirty or weird about what they did - don't make it a big creepy thing.

18 moms found this helpful
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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I wouldn't handle it any differently than if they had marked up their arms. I wouldn't read anything into it. I doubt you have any large issues to deal with. In my mind, it's kids being kids. I doubt there was any sexual inuendo to it at all. Relax.

13 moms found this helpful
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A.G.

answers from Houston on

My son and his friend were caught doing shadow puppets w/their equipment..in the closet...with a flashlight. They were only 5 at the time. Does that make you feel better?

11 moms found this helpful

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K.W.

answers from Chicago on

Ok, just so I am clear....you have 3 kids and the oldest is 7? And these are all your kids involved, right, not someone else's?

If that is the case, I think you are WAY overreacting. We aren't talking about a 14 year old drawing on the neighbor's 4 year old butt. These are your three small children being silly. If you overreact in your punishment, all of the sudden, privates become a HUGE deal.

I would simply make it clear that privates are ours alone and shouldn't be drawn on and leave it at that. Yes, kids do this type of stuff ALL the time, and really, it isn't that weird.

17 moms found this helpful

T.N.

answers from Albany on

Giggle! Sorry Libs!

I guess my answer would be......take pictures to show to GF when he's a teenager? How's that for punishment?!

Your kids are fine. Just keep doing what your doing. I know it's hard to have a sense of humor when you're hurting.

Be good to yourself, k?

;)

16 moms found this helpful

S.L.

answers from New York on

I think the appropriate punishment would be to plunk him in the bath tub with a bar of soap and tell him to start scrubbing.
And thanks for sharing the story. So much funnier when it's someone else's mess. Hope you took pictures cuz this will be hilarious to show to his girlfriend someday!! Hope you feel better soon!

14 moms found this helpful
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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I'm sorry--I HAVE to laugh.
You will never forget this.
Hope you got pictures! LOL

Yes--review the private parts speech, get them clean & MOVE ON! NOTHING to feel ashamed about here, kiddo!

11 moms found this helpful
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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

ROFL... oh my goodness. I'm sorry, love, but I'm just sitting here cracking up.

You just KNOW the original intention was to put their 'tattoos' / artwork somewhere they wouldn't be noticed (Hey! Under our underwear!!!), but then they were just far, far too proud of them not to come show them off.

Hey, mom! Lookit!

Yes. Kids do this all the time. Even in houses where parents don't have tattoos. Heck, my MUM used to do this to us (draw on our stomachs at night... butterflies, dragons, princesses, you name it) when we were conked out and there were no tattoos in our house growing up. Just my mum's artwork.

My house rules are based off my mums. Ask before you draw on yourself or anyone else (ask mom, not the other kid if it's someone else involved). No. You may not draw on your privates. Why? Because it's a pain to get off later.

11 moms found this helpful
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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

Good grief, that's hysterical (not when it happens of course, but looking at it from outside - oh my!).

Don't be ashamed - they were being way silly and got carried away. Kids draw on themselves and they just decided to KEEP drawing. Once you calm down, have a conversation about boundaries, bodies. Just wait till the emotional overload cools off.

11 moms found this helpful

X.O.

answers from Chicago on

Hehehehehe, sorry, I know if it were happening in my house right now I'd probably be through the roof, but hearing the story told, it is cute and funny.

When my little brothers were still little, one day I came home from softball (my parents were still at work), and I walked in to find the patio covered in green, with empty food coloring bottles everywhere. After about 15 minutes of searching for my brothers I found them up in a tree. They had camouflaged themselves with the food coloring :-) OMG, what a mess, but it made for some great pictures of them with their big blue eyes peering out from the leaves.

Oh wait...you wanted to know how to handle it...sorry, I've got nothing :) Maybe divert them and let them paint instead? :)

10 moms found this helpful
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H.W.

answers from Portland on

Okay Tat',

Here's my suggestion, if it's really about the misbehaving when you are having a hard time getting around: The Boring Time.

"Son, you are not making good choices when you are alone, so you will have to stay with me for the day. Everywhere I go (except the bathroom) you will go, too."

IF that means he has to stay next to you on the couch all day-- wow, that is Just Too Bad. This is why I call it Boring Time... because it IS boring. So boring. Brothers can be outside, or in their room or wherever, but due to poor choices which he KNOWS are not okay, your 7 year old has to stay with you for the day (or however long you deem necessary-- but make it long enough to be a real PITA for him.).

Don't be ashamed of yourself. Yes, get the pictures (but don't laugh about them in front of the kids) and believe me, Boring Time is plenty Educational. "When I do things that cause mom not to trust me, I have no freedom."

And just so you know, I would not be down with coloring all over oneself with markers. Not about the genitals or bottoms, but just because markers belong on paper. If my suggestion seems a bit dour or humorless, it's because I've have a little person who has either been whywhywhy-ing me all day or making messes every time my back is turned. Perhaps my answer would be different if this weren't the case-- just so you know I'm most certainly imposing my own situation on this... :]~

(By the way, I got Boring Time from my sister, who used it after re-reading Laura Ingalls Wilder's "On the Banks of Plum Creek" with her boys. She said that Boring Time (or Stay with Me time) works very well with her kids. )

9 moms found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

lol ok take a deep breath. there will be bigger and worse things in the next few years to suck in breath about.

When my boys were about 5 and 7 and the youngest was about 1 the boys had a sleepover playdate type thing. so extra 2 boys at our house. all kids between ages of 5 and 8. the boys were in the bathroom brushing teeth. so we hear the same giggles you describe. My husband goes in and says whats going on. I hear "what the hell" then hear a smart crack on the behind for all 4 kids in the bathroom. (now mind you 2 of them are not our kids but our best friends kids raised the same as ours) Out they come to me and the little guy who's one. All 4 big boys look embarrased. I said whats going on? no one is talking. I go to the hubby and say what happened you can't crack those 2 they are not ours. He says they were brushing their butts. with a toothbrush. I said I don't care you can't crack the kids. He said IT WASNT YOUR TOOTHBRUSH!!!

so things will happen. you have grounded him. let it go. don't belabor it or it will become an issue.

9 moms found this helpful

C.W.

answers from Lynchburg on

Oh Tad-

I would turn this around into a 'biology lesson'...seriously!

I would get a 'skeleton' outline...and help them ID all the organs in the body...and bounce a discussion (as per age) how they ALL work together!

Honestly...you are not 100%...

Kiddos ARE 100% kiddos ALL the time!

I send HUGS!!

Best luck!
michele/cat

8 moms found this helpful
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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

Sorry but this made me laugh!!! Sounds like something my kids would have tired if I would have let them have markers without supervision at that age. Boys are very fascinated with their own body parts. And it sounds like innocent fun. I understand how it is to have that kind of issue and trying to take care of kids. I have the same problem all except for the tail bone. I go to a chiropractor regularly to make sure that stays in place so that I don't have more problems!!

Good luck and God Bless!

8 moms found this helpful

I.X.

answers from Los Angeles on

I don't really see what the big deal is here. Is it the drawing on skin that bothers you most or that they did it on their private parts that bothers you the most? What kid doesn't marker their bodies up from time to time? Sounds normal to me. Two brothers wrote on each others buttom and private parts. Did you have a same sex sibling close in age? I did. We were in each other business all the time, getting our diapers changed and taking baths together. This is par for the course. I'm not saying this does not need correcting, but i don't think this is sexual deviancy either. If I were you I'd be trying not to laugh and snapping pictures to show my husband.

8 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

Libby:

I hope you took pictures!! This will be a moment you will look back on and laugh!!!

Kids do the darndest things!! DO NOT be ashamed. They are kids. It's natural. They are BROTHERS - it's not like there was a group of friends (I mean they are friends and all but still)....or girls!!!

Take a deep breath!! I truly hope you took pictures!! This is something for the memory books and to show their wives when they are older!! This is one of those "I remember when stories!!"

There is no punishment necessary in my book. You told them it was unacceptable. So they are good.

7 moms found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Kalamazoo on

Personally, when I got done laughing, I would probably take the markers away and put them on top of the fridge. I would be happy the marker was all over them and not my kitchen chairs, which is where my dd did her naughty masterpeice.

6 moms found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

Ok, I'll tell you: kids do this weird stuff. And seriously you can do all the things on earth, but the biggest remembrance most children have is mama and how sad, upset and out and out disappointed you were.

6 moms found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Phoenix on

.

6 moms found this helpful
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I.G.

answers from Seattle on

Sounds like normal kid stuff to me. I think your consequences of time out and loosing privileges are appropriate to drive the point across that he is to respect people's boundaries and private parts.
BTW... IMO this is especially normal for boys...heck some still pull stuff like that in college....

Sounds like they are are bored... why not let them run around in the yard in the rain? Or park yourself on a bench with an umbrella and let them run around in a park...
I hate rainy days!

6 moms found this helpful
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M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

My son and his best friend peed all over each other's legs in the kindergarten bathroom once. Kids do goofy things.

I do think a talk about private areas is worthwhile, but I wouldn't stress much over this. I think when you're feeling better and look back on things, you'll get a laugh out of it all.

5 moms found this helpful
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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

How would I handle it? I would laugh and put him in the bath. I certainly wouldn't punish him for it. Most kids draw all over themselves and each other (even occasionally their privates) at least once in their lives.

My opinion is that you should rescind your punishments.

5 moms found this helpful

T.K.

answers from Dallas on

You keep saying "him" What about all of "them" Don't blame the victim!

4 moms found this helpful

A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

well kids DO do goofy things. my 5 year old mooned his entire preschool (and a couple parents) - front AND back. two different instances, before he "got it". at least yours did it in the privacy of your own home :)

little boys love their junk. they don't "get it". if they had their way they'd walk around with them hanging out all the time lol. try not to freak out about it (i know, too late). but yes, little boys especially, do GOOFY things. mine is an artist as well, so we have had our 5 year old cleaning walls with magic eraser. it's only dumb luck that he didn't put 2 and 2 together....

i think you've done enough. don't let them see you sweat. do your normal discipline, and then make them clean it up. along with a good stern talking to about "privates being private".

4 moms found this helpful
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A.N.

answers from Los Angeles on

I am sitting at my desk cracking up because I have 2 boys, 3 and 5, and there is nothing funnier to them than drawing on themselves and each other, everywhere and anywhere. The first time I was really upset, now I figure it washes off... at some point, LOL and there are worse things they could do. Teaching them to respect their bodies and the siblings body is the only thing I reinforce.

4 moms found this helpful
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T.F.

answers from San Francisco on

If they were all willingly following along with this silliness, I wouldn't worry about it in the way I think you are worrying about it (ashamed). As 2 and one says, if these are all your children they were being more silly than anything. It doesn't sound sexual just way out of hand silliness. I would approach it with it is inappropriate to use marker on your skin anywhere and yes, their choice of where to do this is gross. Also, they need to know not to do this or anything like this to anyone elses skin, privates or not.

3 moms found this helpful

J.O.

answers from Boise on

My friend and I covered her then 2 month old sister in Vasoline once. We were about that age at the time. Really we did a lot of things but that was the most notorious since mom had a really hard time picking up the baby...then getting off her and out of our hair that was down to our butt's.

3 moms found this helpful

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

Yeah...my kids drew on each other with marker a few times. They always thought it was so much fun. (not).
One time, they came out (after having been quiet but giggly for awhile) and my 2 yr old had every single hair clip she owned clipped into her hair. My 5 yr old son had done it for her. They were BOTH enamoured with her new "look". lol

I took a picture of that. The dark green marker down the shins, the arms and all over the faces...that took some scrubbing to eventually get all the way off.

3 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

I hope they didn't use Sharpie, permanent markers on each other???
That... I would get mad at.

Tell them, markers are for ONLY writing on paper.
THAT's all.

OMG though.... if that were my kids, I would REALLY try not to laugh at the same time I was scolding them. Because I would really want to bust out laughing.

Sometimes, if my kids did things that were embarrassing, I would tell them "Shall I tell your Teacher? Since you seem to need more help being proper?" And of course, the kids say NOOOOOO Mommy!

3 moms found this helpful
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A.C.

answers from Atlanta on

Ha ha ha ha. That's too funny! My daughter did this, too, except she did it to herself.

3 moms found this helpful
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S.G.

answers from Chicago on

Well he os only a kid so tell him about private parts and tell him never to do it again. Maybe he didn't understand what he did so wrong but laugh at it and move on. Taie the markers away for a week and if there is a next time, don't give them back.

1 mom found this helpful

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

That is SO funny. I would take a photo first. Then I would go into another room and laugh and laugh and laugh. I would go in and give them both a timeout (separate from each other) and take the markers away. Then I would sit them down and sternly tell them that they are only to use markers on paper. If I ever catch them marking on themselves again I will take the markers away AND they will have a punishment. Then I would plop them both in the bath. In the bath I would give them the talk again about how their privates are private. Then I would relish this photo I took and show it to my husband. Honestly, that is hilarious. I think they just thought it was funny. Don't be too upset mom! Don't be ashamed...I don't think this is that big of a deal. PS - I know this is off topic...I have very similar back issues to you and I feel your pain there. I started doing a gentle yoga class twice a week (this was 4 months after my big back blow out and I felt I could try something for the first time) where I take care not to stretch my back backwards very much. No upward dogs...just baby cobras. I also started riding on a recumbant bike once or twice a week for 15 minutes. I also do my PT exercises and have this book called Pain Free that gives you stretches to do. I do some of the ones for hips and lower back. I have to say in the last 5 months my back has really improved. It's not at all normal but the improvement gives me hope. I still have pain but it's much less than it used to be. I just wanted to share that with you...I'm not sure how long your back has been bad and what you do already...

1 mom found this helpful
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C.C.

answers from Denver on

oh my goodness . . . totally normal. I totally understand your reaction too - I've been "there" too. I commend you for going back and clearing the air with your kids but also for standing up for your littler one and his boundaries.

My older colored himself one day - he completely covered one leg in green marker up to his shorts line. It took him a long time to get rid of that tatoo.

I can only imagine what your bathtub and your son's tattoo looked like afterwards.

1 mom found this helpful
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