It's been a long time since I've posted a question! Over the years I've developed a very lovely relationship with my mother in law. Back in February my husband and I sold our house without having a new place yet, and she took in me, my husband and son, who is now in middle school (it was like an episode of House Hunters). Fast forward to November and we finally moved out into our new place, which was a huge fixer upper and took a long time to make it livable. None of us expected it to end up like that, but it worked out as well as it could. My mother in law was so generous and patient, and I enjoyed having a multi-generational family under one roof for these past months. I would like to do something very nice for her as a thank you. She has pretty much everything she needs or wants. My father suggested a new appliance or a flight to see one of her other children, who are scattered geographically. We don't have a lot of money but for this I think we would want to stretch the budget a bit. Has anyone else been in a similar situation and found the perfect thank you?
I like the idea of paying for a flight for her to go visit another kid. A possible addition could be a thoughtful letter to her stating some of the things you told us and why you enjoyed the time as a multigenerational family. From my observations, those heartfelt letters are rare and very meaningful.
How nice to have a good MIL story!
I love the idea of a plane ticket if you can swing it - to share her with the family members she didn't see or spend a lot of time with when she was housing you.
You could also do a small scrapbook - we did one for my mother. Each person wrote a letter of what she means to them, special memories they have, fun stories or silly moments, etc. We bought the scrapbook with open clear plastic sleeves, chose background papers for each person to decorate a couple, and then slid them into the sleeves to make a complete book. We included favorite photos from over the years, made some little captions on the computer, and bought embellishments and stickers (on the various themes that emerged) at the craft store scrapbooking section. The staff at the store can be very helpful, as can crafting books from the library.
If you're not that crafty, you can make a hardbound book through Shutterfly or similar companies. It's pretty foolproof - you just upload photos into the templates they offer, add your words of love and thanks, and click "done." They print and bind it, and send it to you or to her. We did one for a relative's 90th birthday (90 things we love about her or remember about her), and each person did some individually while others were sort of group memories.
These are things she cannot buy and which are gifts of your heart.
My kids are all grown up and I live alone .. until about a year ago. My youngest son and his S/O stopped living together (very long story) and she moved in with her Mom for about a month it didn't work out so she moved in here with the kids and my son for about 2 months then got her own apartment. My son is still here with me.
Yes, it was stressful. But it was also a gift for me just having them here. Living alone can get lonely, it was so nice to have someone to come home to.
One idea I have is to deep clean her house, wash down the walls and windows and woodwork, scrub the carpets and furniture. It wouldn't cost a lot and the house feels so amazing when it's deep cleaned.
The flight to get away and visit some out of town relatives sounds perfect.
It's so lovely that it all worked out and you have such a lovely and thoughtful Mother in law to be willing to house you all during this time. How fantastic. Congratulations on your new home.
Is your father thinking of what he would want based on being in the same kind of position (not needing anything?). Does she need a new appliance? If so, that might make the most sense - where you were living with her and now can help her out (were you paying her rent? If not, then this would be a nice payback, thank you).
I would think the air fare to see a family member is definitely thoughtful, but how do you decide which one it should be (may be best to leave it up to her).
My mom helped us all out over the years whenever we all were in a pinch (myself and my siblings). She wouldn't have accepted a big gift, but that's my mom. So it depends on her personality. My mom would have turned around and said put it towards yourselves. We always paid her back though - fully. Were you paying rent, and helping towards costs? If so, maybe keep it simple - I like Diane's scrapbook/sentimental idea. A family album type idea (or even arrange a nice photographer to take family portraits next time the family is all together) - something like that might be really special for her instead.
B. - welcome back!!
How sweet of you to want to do this and of her to take you guys in!!
I personally would want to do a trip to see family. If she's sill spry? Maybe a trip to a local amusement park and family comes IN to visit and you pay for HER way in and HER day there??
The flight to visit another of her children would be so fun and memorable! Do that if you can.
In November we hired a photographer to take family pictures of us at a state park. My mom was so happy. Do it with you 4. You can put one of the pictures on a piece of canvas.
oh, what a marvelous tale!
how nice to see a happy MIL story, and a question that is so positive!
i love the idea of giving her a trip to visit one of her kids. if you can swing it, that would be perfect.
if that's too much, one of the personalized gifts that the IntRaweBz have made so easy would be really nice. a quilt with your kids' pics on it, or a photo album or scrapbook.
maybe decorate the spare room in your house with her favorite colors and a collage of pics of the time you guys spent together in her house. it can be *her* room when she stays with you!
congrats on having such a great relationship with your MIL, and congrats on the new house!
:) khairete
S.
I know that most of all I appreciate the gift of time with my adult children and my grandchildren. Our family loves going to plays, etc so tickets to something and dinner on you with a nice note saying how much you appreciate her would be great. Make it a special day celebrating her!
