How Long Does Your Family Take at the Dinner Table?

Updated on August 20, 2012
A.E. asks from Philadelphia, PA
24 answers

I was just curious as to how long you guys take at the dinner table on average? My husband is very much about eating ASAP however I am a " relax and enjoy your food" kind of person. I do have a small throat therefore I have to take smaller bites and have to chew everything very well before I swallow so I take longer to eat. My daughter has this same problem. Not only does he eat a lot but I swear my husband swallows his food whole. While he is done he is urging my daughter (9yo) to hurry up an eat. Sometimes she can take an hour (MAX) but 30-45 minutes usually. Is this too long?

If you guys think its too long...should I give her a time limit then take her food away if she isnt done by that time??

And I dont mind if he stays while we finish or not.

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E.S.

answers from New York on

We do about 30 minutes. DD and DH sit and take their time while I constantly get up and down to start the dishes and refill their plates!. Kinda sucks for me, but I hate dishes!

2 moms found this helpful
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S.R.

answers from El Paso on

I say just let her keep eating until she's full unless you have somewhere you HAVE to be. When my husband was little, apparently my MIL did the take the food away after "x" amount of time and it apparently affected him enough that the pediatrician took notice and told her to let him just sit and eat, no matter how long it took.

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B..

answers from Dallas on

We eat together every night, and we spend an hour at the table. We are not eating the entire time, usually. We chat, laugh, and enjoy each other. We make it a point to be together that one hour. I would not appreciate my husband leaving the table, but then again we all love dinner time...that would not happen. An hour is what we set aside for dinner, every night.

Gulping down your food, is actually really bad for your body. It's not a positive thing, that he rushes her. She should be able to pace herself. As long as she isn't playing with her food, and actually eating, he needs to leave her alone.

3 moms found this helpful
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D.F.

answers from Boston on

I like to sit and eat , talk , laugh and listen. We may spend about an hour. We might be done eating in the first 15 min. We like to hang and talk about what our day is like.

2 moms found this helpful
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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

Dinner should be a positive family experience, where food is enjoyed and everyone gets a chance to talk about their day. Your husband should not be rushing his child just because he scarfs it down in a few minutes. An hour seems a little excessive, but as long as she is eating well, I would not rush her. If she is rushed, she may develope an eating disorder.

1 mom found this helpful
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R.M.

answers from Cumberland on

You should encourage her to eat at her own pace and, for many reasons, be grateful that she eats slowly-an hour at the table is wonderful!

1 mom found this helpful
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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I think an hour is kind of a long time to take to eat. My GD takes about 15 - 20 minutes. Like your hubby, mine eats fast and then wants me and GD to "hurry." We take our time; he usually just excuses himself and goes about his business.

1 mom found this helpful

V.C.

answers from Dallas on

My husband also inhales his food. He is sometimes almost finished before I take the first bite.
When the boys were little, we would spend about 1/2 hour at the table. Our oldest was a very slow eater.

1 mom found this helpful
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V.P.

answers from Columbus on

My kids to that, too, but I find it's a problem when they come home every day from school saying they didn't have enough time to eat lunch (lunch period is 30 minutes, and they always pack so they aren't standing in line). If you don't mind, I don't see the harm of leisurely dining, but I think it's important for the kids to learn to eat within a time frame so that they are able to finish.

T.M.

answers from Redding on

I used to have this problem with my ex when my kids were growing up. He believed in EATING and not talking at the table. I wasn't raised that way tho, we always had fun and talked and laughed while eating dinner. It was always stressful that my husband thought the kids should EAT and NOT TALK. I, too, like to chew my food very thoroughly before swallowing and one of my sons is the same way. (you cannot speed that up without causing someone to practically choke to death, so hubby needs to back off)
I ran interference as much as I could, tried to make things lighthearted at the table, but his ISSUE was embedded from early childhood. Something I couldn't fix. I'm sure my boys probably may have issues now as grown men with that particular part of their development. I have a son with a daughter, he does not pressure her at the dining table. "Breaking bread" together as a family should Not include stress.
And that is one of the many reasons my kid's dad is an EX.

eta:
Now if you are talking about what I do now, husband and I spend probably an hour in the kitchen making some type of fabulous, half way healthy dinner and a huge mess while we are doing it, and then maybe 15 to 20 to eat it.

So, my real answer to your actual question would be 20 minutes to my current standard.

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M.G.

answers from Seattle on

My children are 5(special needs and picky does not eat the same dinner as the rest of us) & 8. Some of the time each of my kids take an hour to eat it all depends on what is served. I would much rather my children take the time to enjoy their food and actually chew it properly than to rush and wind up with a belly ache. I don't see why how long it takes your child to eat is an issue provided they are indeed eating or having a family conversation. Why deprive a child of food they want to eat and are eating just because they don't finish by a set time? That makes no sense to me.

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L.M.

answers from Cleveland on

on the rare occasions my hubby is home to eat with us he can truely be done in 15 mins. What can i say he has a large throat. ( and the big mouth to go with it.)

If i poke around 20 mins is my average, if we are talking a serving of potroast, a dollop of potatoes and 3-4 tablespoons of green beans.

I think the problems occur when Ds 9 is "entertaining" us with a 10 minute playby play of what he watched on tv or what he read in a book. and no eating is going on.

Then the hour is up,the food is cold, either the kids get abandoned at the table while DH goes to watch sports or he ends up sitting there riding herd on them to take a bite already.

So while i don't want to rush anyone really an hour seems ridiculous.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

None of us in my family are slow eaters.
1/2 hour and we are done.
My Husband is like yours, he just eats so darn fast.
But he will still be at the table and chat.
I eat fast too. But I still am at the table and chat with my kids.

S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

We take about 45 minutes. I always set an hour aside for dinner. I am a slow eater and my oldest son is a very slow eater. I do not like to hurry a meal. My kids only get 20 minutes to eat lunch at school and usually have to finish lunch on the playground.

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J.S.

answers from Columbia on

30, assuming I don't need to practice my cooking by preparing a second entree or side. :)

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

My kids are 16 (spec needs), 12 and 9. We all eat dinner together in our dinningroom every night. While we are eating, we go around the table and each say our Rose and Thorn (the good and bad) of the day. It gives us a chance to share and know what's going on with the kids and give them adice if there is a situation. We usually take 20-30 minutes and we all stay until everyone is done.

I think an hour is too long but you didn't say how old your daughter is. I guess if your husband is done, maybe he can still hang out and chat with you guys. I think it depends on if you care if you all eat together or not. Guess I don't really have any advice. Good luck.

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P.M.

answers from Harrisburg on

We are a family of 4. My husband travels a fair amount, but when he is home, and there's not a practice or somewhere someone needs to be, we are at the table about an hour (sometimes more).

NO ONE eats until we are ALL seated. (I've been at other's houses and by the time the mom sits down - everyone else is up and gone - SAD!!) In fact, no one eats until the lady of the house (me) take the first bite. On the rare occasions that I'm not there for dinner, 13yo DD is the "lady of the house." NO ONE leaves until we are all finished. We talk about all kinds of things and laugh and determine schedules etc. Leaving would say to our family that they are not important enough to take the time to be with them.

Our kids (13 and 15) treasure the meal times and all the interaction that happens there. Their friends are always welcome and we enjoy chatting with them as well. Yes...there are days I'm chomping at the bit to get the clean-up started, but as the kids get older, and schedules get more hectic, we take all the time together that we can get!

What does your husband need to rush off to?

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J.B.

answers from Rochester on

It depends on the evening, 20 minutes average though....

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

Relax and enjoy your food. It will digest better and burn calories more efficiently. You'll be less likely to have reflux/acid indigestion. You'll also be less likely to over-eat.

My husband eats like someone is going to steal the food off of his plate because he grew up with three sisters and dogs all of his life. If you didn't eat quickly, you didn't eat. Well, he doesn't digest well. He gets the worst acid reflux. His food goes right through him. He doesn't enjoy his food and savor it. He barely even notices flavors. I have to remind him to slow down.

I've never pressured my girls to "hurry up" unless we had an actual time constraint, and even then I won't rush them, but pack up what they couldn't finish and bring a snack in case they're hungry later. Don't rush your daughter into finishing and tell your husband that he needs to lay off. She'll end up with disordered eating patterns and needs to take her time. If she takes half an hour or a little longer, that's actually NORMAL especially if she's eating and chewing. Plus, she's probably enjoying the food and conversation.

Now, if she's playing with her food or pushing it around on her plate and not eating hardly at all, let her leave the table.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

If my DD is dawdling, I'll remind her to eat. We can easily sit down for 45 minutes and that's plenty of time for her to eat dinner, talk a bit, etc. If your DH eats very fast, then offer to him in private that he can leave, but that you will sit with DD while she finishes as she is simply a slower eater. I think 45 mins is sufficient, especially since dinner is about more than just food. It's also about family time. However, if she needs more time, then make it clear that she can stay and eat, but everyone else will move on to the next thing. Why does DH feel the need to hurry her? Was he raised where you stay til everyone was done?

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

From the time we sit down to the table and eat until we are done it probably takes us about 10 minutes. There are 5 of us. (I should add...I am from a family of 7, my husband a family of 8....there was ALWAYS somewhere for someone to go! I think we eat TOO fast)
If she is comfortable eating slow (and that's slow to me!), and you don't have anywhere you need to get to, then I don't see the problem.
L.

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

We take about 45 minutes.

C.M.

answers from Washington DC on

we usually spend around 45 minutes to an hour at most. It's just a nice time where we can all sit together and talk and eat as a family. There is no rush at all. I really like it and so does my husband.

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J.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

We are usually at the supper table for 45 minutes. My kids are 7, 5 and 3. My 5 yo is picky, and he takes the longest to eat.

Tell your husband to enjoy it now while you still all have the time to all eat together.

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