How Do You Respond?

Having been a cashier at SquallMart for seven years I can vouch that well-behaved children are not the norm!
My own off-the-wall experience also happened at WalMart. I was about 36 weeks pregnant with a baby that I knew was going to be born with birth defects and the cashier, all cheery and bubbly, asked, "So, are you excited about the new baby?" I wasn't that day so responded, "No, I'm not. He's going to be born missing part of his brain." She shrunk back and made the sign of the cross, like I'd put a hex on her or something. That was the quickest transaction I've ever had...she couldn't wait to get me out of her lane. I know she was just making conversation but I just felt like telling someone off at that moment and unfortunately she was on the recieving end. Nowdays I just laugh about it.

K.

I would have responded the exact same way, well maybe said thanks but I don't think she would have looked at you wierd just because you didn't say it. Maybe she she didn't hear you correctly or was joking like she didn't believe that your kids misbehave? Weird people tend to work at wal-mart anyway lol I know someone might get offended but thats just my experience.

i would have and have said just what you did...lady had no sense of humor, who cares.

I've said the exact same thing when someone compliments my kids. (And ironically, they do the same thing at Walmart! Only there's four of them forming an assembly line!)

I usually respond with "Thanks...they have their moments." If she gave you a weird look it's probably because she doesn't have kids and doesn't get that those moments are usually in public...and only because you threatened them in the car prior to walking in, lol!

I think you are making too much of this.
She was complimenting you.
You were ducking the compliment and responding
that her judgment was based on insufficient evidence.
Cashiers at WalMart see a LOT of not-well-behaved children.
Your children's behavior was good enough for her to notice
and comment on it. Take it as it was intended:
praise for your parenting ability.

Maybe she thought you meant they only have moments when they're good.
I wouldn't dwell on it.
She paid you a compliment and the thing to have said would have been thank you.
She sees so many people and so many kids all day long that many times she's likely trying to make small talk of some kind.
She's already forgotten about it, I can just about promise you.

A co-worker asked me the other day how I raised such a polite son and my son said, "She beats me." He was joking and she knew it. Some people have different senses of humor. If he'd said it to someone else, they may have wanted to call CPS on me.

I don't think you said anything wrong. Most moms have said the same things. But, if your kids really are being good, it's good to graciously accept the compliment in front of them. Praise from any source when it's deserved never hurt a thing.

Best wishes.

I probably would have say "Thank you" and then added the "have their moments" comment.

I probably would have answered just like you but most likely would have added a "thank you" for the compliment as well.
"Aww thanks, but trust me they DO have their moments".
The cashier may have felt slighted that you didnt acknowledge her compliment and was probably thinking to herself "Damn, that mom doesnt know how good she has it after all the unruly brats that come through my line".
When people would ask me why mine minded so well or how do you get them to mind so well, I would say "I beat them".... and of course that was a joke, but you wanna talk about some expressions on faces, that comment will definitely leave some.

Maybe she doesn't have kids herself, so she wasn't sure what you meant.
That does happen.

When people tell me that, I say "Thanks...." and then say what you said "they have their moments!" Most of the time, the person laughs too because they KNOW what I mean.... because they are a Mom themselves..

We have gotten the same comment and my hubby would turn around and deadpan serious say "Why yes, we beat them." Then go about his business.
You should see people's reaction at church when they first meet him.

I was taught when someone compliments you, just smile and say, "Thank you." That's it. If you affirm, you sound cocky; if you deny, you invalidate their opinion.

For example: Someone says, "What a beautiful (outfit, haircut, purse, manicure, etc). It looks great on you!"

Your possible responses:
a) (Smiling) "Thank you!"
b) "Yes, I know. I always get compliments when I wear this!"
c) "I can't stand what this looks like. The hairdresser screwed up!"

What people think/feel when you say the above:
a) They are glad you are happy with the compliment. Both of you feel good.
b) They (could) think you are conceited, and they may then be offended.
c) This makes them feel bad because (they think) you feel bad about whatever the compliment was about. Now they now feel like they have to say more to reassure you.

.

Who knows how people want you to respond. I see nothing wrong with what you said, however, I am sure she did want to hear you just say thank you. My sister is kind of like that. If you say something, she always reverts to it must not be good enough, so in other words, you expect your children to be perfect.

Good thing it was Walmart, so when you go back, there are 14 other cashiers to use besides her.

Look at pictures and read the stories on peopleofwalmart.com and you won't be so shocked as to why she thought your remarks were odd. Lol.

It's hard to accept compliments as straighforwardly as they're offered. But people love to have their compliments accepted (think of that vague annoyance you probably feel when somebody brushes off your compliments as if they aren't true.)

I would have simply smiled and said "Thank you, they are behaving well, aren't they?" It would simply have been the truth at that moment. A comment like that wouldn't make you look conceited, and would allow you to acknowledge one of your children's finer moments. If they weren't within earshot, you could add, "I'll tell them you noticed!"

Kids LOVE being noticed for their good behavior, and will usually try to earn such compliments again in the future. It's a great parenting tool, too.

I would focus more on how your kids respond to the comment than the cashier. Someone praised your kids, and you minimized it with an answer that was ambiguous, at best. It was an opportunity to let them bask in praise and show your pride in them, and you let it slip by.

I get compliments on my son's behavior all the time.
I usually say "He makes us very proud" or "He's turning out to be quite a gentleman".
In the context of your conversation, when you said 'they have their moments', it almost sounded like you were saying it was their good behavior that was happening at the moment (like 'good' doesn't happen very often).
We know you were saying even the best kids have times when they do not shine as brightly as they are right now.
I don't know if this was the case for your situation, but where we use to live we had a lot of cashiers for whom English was not their first language and it was common for chit chat to not quite translate very well.
I wouldn't worry too much about it.

The cashier paid your a compliment on how well behaved your children were. When mine were little they had all the good manners for others outside the home. So be proud of yor work it is showing.

The other day when at IHOP a dad his his two children out for breakfast and I commented about coming back and having breakfast with them because they were so well mannered.

The cashier sees so many children that do not mind and listen go through the line every day that your children were refreshing.

So from now on just say thank you and move on.

The other S.