How Do You Keep It Together at the End of the Day?

Hi K.,

Structure is the answer. If you have a routine, the children will become easier.

My husband used to have a similar schedule. So, at night when my patience was the thinnest, we stuck to the plan.

Dinner at 6pm, bathes at 7pm, stories at 7:30, songs by 7:45, bed at 8. Even the baby got with the routine. We would do a lot of this on my bed so that I could put the baby down while I read to the other two. Then the girls felt like they were getting the attention and my infant son could be on the bed and not feel neglected.

It was still difficult at about 5 when I was trying to cook dinner, but we started doing cooking show and the girls would help by dumping in ingredients and my son would sit in the swing and be the audience. Involving them helped make them not so needy when I needed to get things done.

D.

I know this isn't a direct answer... but for my friend, her Hubby works LONG hours too, and almost everyday and does not get home until late... often after 8:00pm. And he simply was not home, yet, during those night-time routines of dinner/baths/getting kids to bed.

She has a baby, and a toddler.

She... out of sheer need and feelings like you and many Moms feel... talked with her Hubby, and they got for her a part-time Nanny/Helper. Only from about 3:00pm-7:00pm, 3 times a week. (these hours she chose because this is the times she felt so at a loss and just frazzled at the end of the day and with the night-time routines... which ARE gruelling). It REALLY helped her, in ALL aspects of her being, her sanity, and for much needed help with her kids and household. She didn't even have time to read the mail. She has two boys... and VERY active and physically active kids. Not "naughty" kids.... but just kids.

THIS was a good solution for her. AND, for her Husband... he felt less stressed too... because he'd worry about her and knowing how their kids were... she was really under stress and not taking care of herself either, like she used to. It was just plain necessity, for her, for Hubby... and the kids then had a less stressed out Mom. Hubby was hardly home, because of his work. And, he felt that getting a Nanny helper would alleviate all sort of DAILY mountainous stresses.

Sure we Moms can organize our families, use methods, and whatnot. But when we need to, and IF you are able to... using an outside helper, is nothing to feel bad about needing. Even if just part-time help.

My friend, she used to literally cry on some days... because of the stress and overwhelming stuff, daily. It was not easy. And no Mom is Mary Poppins.
Its okay to feel like that.

Kids, can feel our angst too.
You are not alone.
I wish you the best,
Susan

Hi K.,
Great question and there are a lot of good suggestions in the other responses. It would seem that a good course of action would be proactive (taking action) rather than reactive (this could create learned helplessness such as "There is nothing I can do about it", "I feel overwhelmed", "It will always be like this", etc.). Due to the time and pressure constraints that you are under, I would pick strategies that are easy, effective, and affordable. I developed a web site that has many such strategies at www.stompstressaway.com . One effective technique that is on there is a demonstration on progressive relaxation which can work in as little as 5 minutes. Regardless of the strategies that you decide to choose, they should be appealing to you, easy to do, and make you feel empowered. All the best of success!
Regards,
C. B., Ph.D.
www.stompstressaway.com

My heart goes out to you...I have been there with two children 16 months apart. I had always imagined I'd be a Zen mother, calm, reassuring and patient. Well, that quickly went out the door when I began to feel that I had zero time to even think. I couldn't even take a shower or go to the bathroom without one of the kids clinging to me or crying hysterically outside the shower door. I took showers with the baby, just so I could have a peaceful shower. I slept with the baby because I was too exhausted to get up and down for feedings. My toddler would unbuckle himself as soon as I drove out of the driveway and loved to scream in the car. Find a sitter that will come for several hours a week or make a trade with another mom if finances are tight. Have her take the kids out of the house so you can get things done or go to the gym to get your body back in shape (nine months on, nine months off). Tell your husband that he'll need to take the children for a couple of hours on the weekends so you can do something by yourself. If you can afford it, put your 2 1/2 yr old into a toddler program for at least a 4 hr block of time, 2x a week. Good luck. Preschool is not far off!

I think we've all been there..........actually, I'm still there! hahahahah!

What has helped me get through it is practicing "letting things go" every now and then........your dinners are fine.......the dishes can wait, the laundry is always there........be "OK" with that and focus on the kids when they need you. If you don't adjust YOU'RE way of looking at this, then the feelings of resentment will begin to take over.........who wants to "resent" their kids? It's a terrible feeling, even in a moment............

The only way we get this overwhelmed, is because we're tired in ALL areas of our motherly life. I throw in a load of laundry every morning before I go to work, then dry it when i return.........right now, all my dinners are easy and can be done within 10-20 minutes........when I DO cook, my kids think it's fancy and set the table all nice and light candles.......they do this sadly because it's become so few and far between that I actually cook "real" food. But they have adjusted, and finally, I have too. The hard part was letting the "guilt go".......The guilt is still there, it just doesn't rule my life now.

As moms, we have to "do the best we can" .......it's more important to create a happy home then to create a perfect home :o)

I feel today, I have a perfect home..........my kids are happy, and are on a great routine........but if you came over today, the racetrack is out on the floor from yesterday, and the bathroom is dirty......oh well.........we played a game yesterday and watched the Olympics on our day off from school, so other things suffer :o) It's a routine I'm getting used to.

Try not to put so much pressure on yourself. That's when the exhausttion can set in. Try to be "OK" with the way you're dong things........in the end, the kids will remember the things you say and do for them, other than what they ate all the time. Try to make your words and actions count......

It will all be OK. Just keep trying to do your best :o)

~N.

I too have a husband who leaves early and comes home late so I completely understand where you are coming from! Now that my boys are 2 and 4 it is getting easier but we still have "those nights" where everyone (including me) is melting down at 5pm and I am trying to get dinner on the table. Lots of great answers already but I also wanted to suggest checking out some of the premade foods at Costco. I always scan the frozen/refrigerated section for foods that will be easy to prepare on nights where I can tell that the kids are going to need a little extra attention. I will try and prep anything I need for dinner earlier in the day so I'm not trying to do so much at dinner time. I also will strategically put on a PBS show such as Curious George while I am trying to get dinner on the table. I usually try and bathe the kids nightly to keep them in a routine but if we are all really tired and not particularly dirty I will let that slide too. I usually wait to pick up after the boys have gone to bed. I used to be very particular about everything being completely put away every night but have laid off a bit - I just put all the toys in an area of the living room designated the "play area" and that makes the rest of the living room/house toy and clutter free. I organize the play area every few days or so now and try to recruit my husband to help me. It's usually time that we can talk and spend time together and makes the chore a little easier. My husband used to resist me on this but realized that doing it together really was less daunting than one overtired person trying to tackle the toys! Hope this helps and hang in there - it will get better!

Dear K.:

How wonderful to have the son and daughter you wanted so badly and that you and your husband both have jobs. You didn't say how often or what hours you actually go to work or who takes care of the children then.

I am a morning person so I can really identify with the end of the day exhaustion especially with babies wanting and needing your attention. And they probably want and need it more because they are getting ready to sleep for such long hours alone and they have missed you when you weren't there.

I am one of those who believe that there will always be things that need to be "tidied up", but that what a pre-schooler needs is far more urgent and if at all possible should have first priority. Could some of those activities be given to someone else? Or could some of them be done in the morning or during the days when you are home rather than at night. MY husband is one who doesn't like to wake up to any messes such as dirty dishes, but I think that except for ants, no one sees or cares about how the house looks when you are asleep and I can accomplish much more and more quickly when I am rested.

Please don't feel you have to do everything yourself and please do the things you feel are most important (like holding your little daughter when she needs to be held) and don't worry about what isn't getting done to keep the house clean or follow a routine.

Enjoy and relax and enjoy every minute you can while these precious children are little and want mommy most of all. It does pass..

Great grandma N. (mother of five, but I didn't work outside the house when they were little

I am not sure if financially it is possible but have you considered hiring a mother's helper. You can call you local high school and maybe they can refer you to a responsible high school student looking to make some extra money. I am sure you wouldn't have to pay them full rate of babysitting because you will be there with them. It would just be an extra pair of hands to play with your toddler so you can cook (or not cook, just take a break). I remember those days my husband would leave in the morning at 6 and not return until 7 each night. By the time he came home I could hardly speak from exhaustion. I also tried to prepare some meals ahead on the weekends (like sauce and meatballs, soups, etc) and freeze them so I could just reheat them in the evening. Also, a crock pot can help so you can prepare dinner early and not have to face that at the end of the day when everyone is tired and needy. Also, don't worry about the house!! Easier said then done but try to nap when they nap. When your toddler naps if the baby cooperates lay down when they do to recharge. Remember you have to take care of yourself as well. Happy Mommy, happy home!! I know your husband works a ton of hours but maybe when he is home on the weekends give yourself some mommy time so you do not feel so overwhelmed. If you have any family members close by ask for help, there is nothing wrong with needing a break. Staying home and raising children is the most difficult job in the world. Good luck it will get better soon!!

First of all remember to be kind to yourself. When you get overwhelmed you tend to focus on the 5 things you aren't doing correctly instead of the 500 things you did just fine.

When my kids were young I use to spend Sunday cooking. I'd make meatloaf, chicken, pasta sauce, rice, etc and throw everything in the fridge for the week. That way most dinners were already cooked and all I had to do was warm everything and make a veggie or two. I didn't have a dishwasher so most nights we ate off paper plates with regular silverware so I didn't spend a lot of time washing dishes.

For starters I want to say I can relate 100%. My husband works either 2nd or 3rd shift so he's either leaving for work at 3 PM and not getting home until midnight or he's leaving for work at 10 PM, getting home at 6 AM and sleeping until noon. There are also many time when he travels and is gone for 2-3 days, then home for 1 day before leaving again. I'm currently unemployed but until losing my job was working 7:30-5:30 Mon-Fri.

Your 2 1/2 yr old is old enough to help with straighening up; my son is 20 months and we make him help. We have rubbermaid bins in my son's bedroom and playroom. I don't worry about the toys actually being organized, I just want them off the floor and contained. He puts his toys in the bin before lunch/nap, before we go out somewhere, before we have guests over and before bed.

As for dinner, I take time when my hubby is home to fix things that I know will make it easier on nights he's not here. For example, I will cook a bunch of ground beef/chicken and separate it into containers. Then I can come home from work and make sloppy joes, tacos, etc with minimal prep - just put it all in the pan to heat and mix. Many meals I make enough for us to have left-overs for lunch or dinner the next day.

Also, remember there is no need to bathe your child every night. My son only gets showers 3 times a week (unless he gets particularly dirty at some point).

In the end, remember this phase too will pass. Your daughter's demands are probably more demands for attention because of jealousy or desire for more attention with the new baby. Take those times to sing silly songs, dance around the house while dinner cooks and try to "be a kid" as much as possible. Don't worry if your house isn't spotless...if someone doesn't like it, they can clean it themselves. The kids come first!

It sounds like you need a break and I totally get that! I would try to either find a mommy's helper like a jr. high student or a high school student that could come and play with your 2 year old for awhile while you get dinner made or after dinner to help care for the baby while you do bath time. You could also have a nanny type set up where someone comes in and stays to play with your daughter while you and the baby take a nap. It definitely sounds like a sitter of some type would be good for you even if it's only once a week so you can run errands,shop,get your nails done, have lunch with a friend, etc. with or without the baby.
Hang in there!! Sounds like you are really trying and that is very commendable. Being a mom is the most difficult yet most rewarding job there is!
M. (4 kids and we are sooo done...lol)

Hi, I feel for you and understand your exhaustion. I have a 2/1/2 yr old and 10 month old and by 3pm I am ready to crumble. Lately I have been having afternoon coffee at 3:30-4:30 to help my energy level and keep me going through dinner time, maybe you could have green tea if you do not drink coffee. Also would it be possible for you to hire a nanny or a local teenager or college student to come for a few hours around dinner time to help with the kids. Do you have any friends with kids that you can have a trade with? What about a morning preschool program for your toddler. Mine goes just 2 mornings a week and it is so nice, and I can get some work done then. Try to make double meals that you can freeze, or make multiple meals on the weekend so that you have less to do on week days. Not having your husband all day must be really hard, you are strong, try to find some help
good luck

Updated

Hi, I feel for you and understand your exhaustion. I have a 2/1/2 yr old and 10 month old and by 3pm I am ready to crumble. Lately I have been having afternoon coffee at 3:30-4:30 to help my energy level and keep me going through dinner time, maybe you could have green tea if you do not drink coffee. Also would it be possible for you to hire a nanny or a local teenager or college student to come for a few hours around dinner time to help with the kids. Do you have any friends with kids that you can have a trade with? What about a morning preschool program for your toddler. Mine goes just 2 mornings a week and it is so nice, and I can get some work done then. Try to make double meals that you can freeze, or make multiple meals on the weekend so that you have less to do on week days. Not having your husband all day must be really hard, you are strong, try to find some help
good luck

Boy, do I remember those times! It will pass, but while you're in it, try:
making easier dinners-- go 'chicken in a bag', or 'frozen lasagna' or 'mac-and-cheese'-- anything that requires less prep and clean up! instead of threats, go for bribery-- 'if you will play quietly while I do this, we can watch half a TV show, read a book, play a game-- whatever. Get yourself a babysitter for one night a week, or trade babysitting. It sounds like you have a loooooong day and need some relaxation!

It's a very old story. Dad comes home from a long day at work and wants to relax, his day is over! Mom's day is 24/7. The time of day from dinner to bedtime is the time when you two need to work as a team the most (this doesn't end when the babies aren't babies any more). Some time when you have some quiet time with your husband (like at 10pm when both babies are asleep and you have had a nice shower) ask him to talk with you. Tell him how stressful this time of day is for you (I am sure he sees it already) and ask him to help. It is a great time for him to bond with his kids. Have him read the 2 year old a story with the baby in a swing. Once dinner is over you do the dishes while he gives them their bathes and gets them ready for bed. Again, this is good for all of them. When it is finally bedtime either have him read them another story or sing them a song. My husband has always said the prayer and sung to my children.
This gives you a break from the kids and it gives him a time to bond positively with his children. Later he can be the one to check their homework and spend some one on one time with them.
Remember, your babies won't be babies long. It may seem like eternity now but it doesn't take them long to grow out of this stage. Get the few moments of peace you can, kiss their noses and toeses. =) And when your husband has tucked your kids in bed, read them a story you be sure and give him a nice lonnnnng kiss, remind him what an incredible dad he is....believe me, with a response like that he won't view taking care of the kids as a chore.

It's hard, it's like that for me too. Crockpot, do all you can to have dinner ready early in the day, so that when it's dinner-fixing time, all you have to do is pop it into the oven cuz everythings already chopped and put together and ready to go. Freezer cooking is great too - it does take a cooking day or two, but SOO worth it to open your freezer and get dinner ready in a jiffy, instead of preparing dinner every afternoon with a toddler clinging to your leg and trying to climb into your arms.

Maybe have a cuddly story time with lots of touching and attention every afternoon an hour or two before you need to prep dinner?

I completely understand. I feel the same way by the end of the day: "on edge" and wiped out. Would any of this work for you?: making dinner early on in the day while they take their naps then putting it in fridge for when hubby gets home to warm up, do you have anyone that can come over to help you for 2 hrs a day twice a week(sister, neighbor teen girl) to unload dishwasher, fold laundry...you don't need to leave your kids, when hubby gets home once a week ask him to watch the kids while you stay in the back of the house for 30 mins to start to unwind by checking email, reading, taking a long bath, if you drink.........having a glass of wine, when infant is older going for a 15-20 min walk in nicer weather. Also, let all household items go that can wait (dusting, window cleaning etc) and only do the absolutely bare minimum. Also, I find laughter brings great levity so maybe while you're feeding the baby you can turn on the comedy channel for 20 mins each day. I hope these suggestions help some. Hang in there......it will get better.

I know how you feel. I went through the same thing. Know that it WILL get easier as they get older.
When the kids were younger I generally would feed the older one the simplest things possible. Carrot sticks already cut up, pbj, chicken nuggets, mac and cheese, cut up fruit. They will happily eat these kind of things all day long. Saves time from "cooking". I ate a lot of microwave meals. Also, I took big advantage of nap time to lay down and get my feet up. Even if I didn't fall asleep (though usually I did) it helped tremendously. Don't feel bad for putting in a video (my kids loved Little Einsteins and Blues Clues) if you just need a few minutes. It won't hurt anything and sometimes just having 15 minutes to not move helps. You might also try joining the YMCA. They have child care on site and doing some sort of exercise for a little while every few days can be a big help.
Like I said, it will pass and they will get more independent.

You sound like me....I work full time, have two boys, 3 1/2 and 2 and have an hour long commute each way. My husband works out of town so I am alone about half of the time. It is so hard to pull it together sometimes.
What works for me is really making sure that I remember their ages and try to get them to help me whenever I can. Or at least give them the allusion they are helping so that I can get some things done. I also make sure that I have at least 30-45 minutes of time, where I sit down and play with them each night. It can be before bed, after or before bath, but it's OUR time. If the dishes aren't done until after bed, or even the next morning depending on what they are, than so be it. It helps to relax and reconnect with them, so I am not stressed around them at all times.
Also, breakfast for dinner is one of the easiest dinners and something they can help with. French toast, I let my kids rip the bread pieces in half (who cares if they're neat right?). I also have a section of silverware that they can get into and pick out their own sppon or fork. They pick what seat they want to sit in and get in it. What place they want......all little things they can do, to keep them busy while I am cooking. Or I have them color something for me while I cook so they sit still.
With the baby it is hard, I remember.......but as long as you can make your 2 year old feel like she is helping and than I found my son to be a little more cooperative and I wasn't trying so hard to keep him busy.

Updated

You sound like me....I work full time, have two boys, 3 1/2 and 2 and have an hour long commute each way. My husband works out of town so I am alone about half of the time. It is so hard to pull it together sometimes.
What works for me is really making sure that I remember their ages and try to get them to help me whenever I can. Or at least give them the allusion they are helping so that I can get some things done. I also make sure that I have at least 30-45 minutes of time, where I sit down and play with them each night. It can be before bed, after or before bath, but it's OUR time. If the dishes aren't done until after bed, or even the next morning depending on what they are, than so be it. It helps to relax and reconnect with them, so I am not stressed around them at all times.
Also, breakfast for dinner is one of the easiest dinners and something they can help with. French toast, I let my kids rip the bread pieces in half (who cares if they're neat right?). I also have a section of silverware that they can get into and pick out their own sppon or fork. They pick what seat they want to sit in and get in it. What place they want......all little things they can do, to keep them busy while I am cooking. Or I have them color something for me while I cook so they sit still.
With the baby it is hard, I remember.......but as long as you can make your 2 year old feel like she is helping and than I found my son to be a little more cooperative and I wasn't trying so hard to keep him busy.

Updated

You sound like me....I work full time, have two boys, 3 1/2 and 2 and have an hour long commute each way. My husband works out of town so I am alone about half of the time. It is so hard to pull it together sometimes.
What works for me is really making sure that I remember their ages and try to get them to help me whenever I can. Or at least give them the allusion they are helping so that I can get some things done. I also make sure that I have at least 30-45 minutes of time, where I sit down and play with them each night. It can be before bed, after or before bath, but it's OUR time. If the dishes aren't done until after bed, or even the next morning depending on what they are, than so be it. It helps to relax and reconnect with them, so I am not stressed around them at all times.
Also, breakfast for dinner is one of the easiest dinners and something they can help with. French toast, I let my kids rip the bread pieces in half (who cares if they're neat right?). I also have a section of silverware that they can get into and pick out their own sppon or fork. They pick what seat they want to sit in and get in it. What place they want......all little things they can do, to keep them busy while I am cooking. Or I have them color something for me while I cook so they sit still.
With the baby it is hard, I remember.......but as long as you can make your 2 year old feel like she is helping and than I found my son to be a little more cooperative and I wasn't trying so hard to keep him busy.

Updated

You sound like me....I work full time, have two boys, 3 1/2 and 2 and have an hour long commute each way. My husband works out of town so I am alone about half of the time. It is so hard to pull it together sometimes.
What works for me is really making sure that I remember their ages and try to get them to help me whenever I can. Or at least give them the allusion they are helping so that I can get some things done. I also make sure that I have at least 30-45 minutes of time, where I sit down and play with them each night. It can be before bed, after or before bath, but it's OUR time. If the dishes aren't done until after bed, or even the next morning depending on what they are, than so be it. It helps to relax and reconnect with them, so I am not stressed around them at all times.
Also, breakfast for dinner is one of the easiest dinners and something they can help with. French toast, I let my kids rip the bread pieces in half (who cares if they're neat right?). I also have a section of silverware that they can get into and pick out their own sppon or fork. They pick what seat they want to sit in and get in it. What place they want......all little things they can do, to keep them busy while I am cooking. Or I have them color something for me while I cook so they sit still.
With the baby it is hard, I remember.......but as long as you can make your 2 year old feel like she is helping and than I found my son to be a little more cooperative and I wasn't trying so hard to keep him busy.

Updated

You sound like me....I work full time, have two boys, 3 1/2 and 2 and have an hour long commute each way. My husband works out of town so I am alone about half of the time. It is so hard to pull it together sometimes.
What works for me is really making sure that I remember their ages and try to get them to help me whenever I can. Or at least give them the allusion they are helping so that I can get some things done. I also make sure that I have at least 30-45 minutes of time, where I sit down and play with them each night. It can be before bed, after or before bath, but it's OUR time. If the dishes aren't done until after bed, or even the next morning depending on what they are, than so be it. It helps to relax and reconnect with them, so I am not stressed around them at all times.
Also, breakfast for dinner is one of the easiest dinners and something they can help with. French toast, I let my kids rip the bread pieces in half (who cares if they're neat right?). I also have a section of silverware that they can get into and pick out their own sppon or fork. They pick what seat they want to sit in and get in it. What place they want......all little things they can do, to keep them busy while I am cooking. Or I have them color something for me while I cook so they sit still.
With the baby it is hard, I remember.......but as long as you can make your 2 year old feel like she is helping and than I found my son to be a little more cooperative and I wasn't trying so hard to keep him busy.

Updated

You sound like me....I work full time, have two boys, 3 1/2 and 2 and have an hour long commute each way. My husband works out of town so I am alone about half of the time. It is so hard to pull it together sometimes.
What works for me is really making sure that I remember their ages and try to get them to help me whenever I can. Or at least give them the allusion they are helping so that I can get some things done. I also make sure that I have at least 30-45 minutes of time, where I sit down and play with them each night. It can be before bed, after or before bath, but it's OUR time. If the dishes aren't done until after bed, or even the next morning depending on what they are, than so be it. It helps to relax and reconnect with them, so I am not stressed around them at all times.
Also, breakfast for dinner is one of the easiest dinners and something they can help with. French toast, I let my kids rip the bread pieces in half (who cares if they're neat right?). I also have a section of silverware that they can get into and pick out their own sppon or fork. They pick what seat they want to sit in and get in it. What place they want......all little things they can do, to keep them busy while I am cooking. Or I have them color something for me while I cook so they sit still.
With the baby it is hard, I remember.......but as long as you can make your 2 year old feel like she is helping and than I found my son to be a little more cooperative and I wasn't trying so hard to keep him busy.

Updated

You sound like me....I work full time, have two boys, 3 1/2 and 2 and have an hour long commute each way. My husband works out of town so I am alone about half of the time. It is so hard to pull it together sometimes.
What works for me is really making sure that I remember their ages and try to get them to help me whenever I can. Or at least give them the allusion they are helping so that I can get some things done. I also make sure that I have at least 30-45 minutes of time, where I sit down and play with them each night. It can be before bed, after or before bath, but it's OUR time. If the dishes aren't done until after bed, or even the next morning depending on what they are, than so be it. It helps to relax and reconnect with them, so I am not stressed around them at all times.
Also, breakfast for dinner is one of the easiest dinners and something they can help with. French toast, I let my kids rip the bread pieces in half (who cares if they're neat right?). I also have a section of silverware that they can get into and pick out their own sppon or fork. They pick what seat they want to sit in and get in it. What place they want......all little things they can do, to keep them busy while I am cooking. Or I have them color something for me while I cook so they sit still.
With the baby it is hard, I remember.......but as long as you can make your 2 year old feel like she is helping and than I found my son to be a little more cooperative and I wasn't trying so hard to keep him busy.

Updated

You sound like me....I work full time, have two boys, 3 1/2 and 2 and have an hour long commute each way. My husband works out of town so I am alone about half of the time. It is so hard to pull it together sometimes.
What works for me is really making sure that I remember their ages and try to get them to help me whenever I can. Or at least give them the allusion they are helping so that I can get some things done. I also make sure that I have at least 30-45 minutes of time, where I sit down and play with them each night. It can be before bed, after or before bath, but it's OUR time. If the dishes aren't done until after bed, or even the next morning depending on what they are, than so be it. It helps to relax and reconnect with them, so I am not stressed around them at all times.
Also, breakfast for dinner is one of the easiest dinners and something they can help with. French toast, I let my kids rip the bread pieces in half (who cares if they're neat right?). I also have a section of silverware that they can get into and pick out their own sppon or fork. They pick what seat they want to sit in and get in it. What place they want......all little things they can do, to keep them busy while I am cooking. Or I have them color something for me while I cook so they sit still.
With the baby it is hard, I remember.......but as long as you can make your 2 year old feel like she is helping and than I found my son to be a little more cooperative and I wasn't trying so hard to keep him busy.

Updated

You sound like me....I work full time, have two boys, 3 1/2 and 2 and have an hour long commute each way. My husband works out of town so I am alone about half of the time. It is so hard to pull it together sometimes.
What works for me is really making sure that I remember their ages and try to get them to help me whenever I can. Or at least give them the allusion they are helping so that I can get some things done. I also make sure that I have at least 30-45 minutes of time, where I sit down and play with them each night. It can be before bed, after or before bath, but it's OUR time. If the dishes aren't done until after bed, or even the next morning depending on what they are, than so be it. It helps to relax and reconnect with them, so I am not stressed around them at all times.
Also, breakfast for dinner is one of the easiest dinners and something they can help with. French toast, I let my kids rip the bread pieces in half (who cares if they're neat right?). I also have a section of silverware that they can get into and pick out their own sppon or fork. They pick what seat they want to sit in and get in it. What place they want......all little things they can do, to keep them busy while I am cooking. Or I have them color something for me while I cook so they sit still.
With the baby it is hard, I remember.......but as long as you can make your 2 year old feel like she is helping and than I found my son to be a little more cooperative and I wasn't trying so hard to keep him busy.

Updated

You sound like me....I work full time, have two boys, 3 1/2 and 2 and have an hour long commute each way. My husband works out of town so I am alone about half of the time. It is so hard to pull it together sometimes.
What works for me is really making sure that I remember their ages and try to get them to help me whenever I can. Or at least give them the allusion they are helping so that I can get some things done. I also make sure that I have at least 30-45 minutes of time, where I sit down and play with them each night. It can be before bed, after or before bath, but it's OUR time. If the dishes aren't done until after bed, or even the next morning depending on what they are, than so be it. It helps to relax and reconnect with them, so I am not stressed around them at all times.
Also, breakfast for dinner is one of the easiest dinners and something they can help with. French toast, I let my kids rip the bread pieces in half (who cares if they're neat right?). I also have a section of silverware that they can get into and pick out their own sppon or fork. They pick what seat they want to sit in and get in it. What place they want......all little things they can do, to keep them busy while I am cooking. Or I have them color something for me while I cook so they sit still.
With the baby it is hard, I remember.......but as long as you can make your 2 year old feel like she is helping and than I found my son to be a little more cooperative and I wasn't trying so hard to keep him busy.

Updated

You sound like me....I work full time, have two boys, 3 1/2 and 2 and have an hour long commute each way. My husband works out of town so I am alone about half of the time. It is so hard to pull it together sometimes.
What works for me is really making sure that I remember their ages and try to get them to help me whenever I can. Or at least give them the allusion they are helping so that I can get some things done. I also make sure that I have at least 30-45 minutes of time, where I sit down and play with them each night. It can be before bed, after or before bath, but it's OUR time. If the dishes aren't done until after bed, or even the next morning depending on what they are, than so be it. It helps to relax and reconnect with them, so I am not stressed around them at all times.
Also, breakfast for dinner is one of the easiest dinners and something they can help with. French toast, I let my kids rip the bread pieces in half (who cares if they're neat right?). I also have a section of silverware that they can get into and pick out their own sppon or fork. They pick what seat they want to sit in and get in it. What place they want......all little things they can do, to keep them busy while I am cooking. Or I have them color something for me while I cook so they sit still.
With the baby it is hard, I remember.......but as long as you can make your 2 year old feel like she is helping and than I found my son to be a little more cooperative and I wasn't trying so hard to keep him busy.

Updated

You sound like me....I work full time, have two boys, 3 1/2 and 2 and have an hour long commute each way. My husband works out of town so I am alone about half of the time. It is so hard to pull it together sometimes.
What works for me is really making sure that I remember their ages and try to get them to help me whenever I can. Or at least give them the allusion they are helping so that I can get some things done. I also make sure that I have at least 30-45 minutes of time, where I sit down and play with them each night. It can be before bed, after or before bath, but it's OUR time. If the dishes aren't done until after bed, or even the next morning depending on what they are, than so be it. It helps to relax and reconnect with them, so I am not stressed around them at all times.
Also, breakfast for dinner is one of the easiest dinners and something they can help with. French toast, I let my kids rip the bread pieces in half (who cares if they're neat right?). I also have a section of silverware that they can get into and pick out their own sppon or fork. They pick what seat they want to sit in and get in it. What place they want......all little things they can do, to keep them busy while I am cooking. Or I have them color something for me while I cook so they sit still.
With the baby it is hard, I remember.......but as long as you can make your 2 year old feel like she is helping and than I found my son to be a little more cooperative and I wasn't trying so hard to keep him busy.

Updated

You sound like me....I work full time, have two boys, 3 1/2 and 2 and have an hour long commute each way. My husband works out of town so I am alone about half of the time. It is so hard to pull it together sometimes.
What works for me is really making sure that I remember their ages and try to get them to help me whenever I can. Or at least give them the allusion they are helping so that I can get some things done. I also make sure that I have at least 30-45 minutes of time, where I sit down and play with them each night. It can be before bed, after or before bath, but it's OUR time. If the dishes aren't done until after bed, or even the next morning depending on what they are, than so be it. It helps to relax and reconnect with them, so I am not stressed around them at all times.
Also, breakfast for dinner is one of the easiest dinners and something they can help with. French toast, I let my kids rip the bread pieces in half (who cares if they're neat right?). I also have a section of silverware that they can get into and pick out their own sppon or fork. They pick what seat they want to sit in and get in it. What place they want......all little things they can do, to keep them busy while I am cooking. Or I have them color something for me while I cook so they sit still.
With the baby it is hard, I remember.......but as long as you can make your 2 year old feel like she is helping and than I found my son to be a little more cooperative and I wasn't trying so hard to keep him busy.

Updated

You sound like me....I work full time, have two boys, 3 1/2 and 2 and have an hour long commute each way. My husband works out of town so I am alone about half of the time. It is so hard to pull it together sometimes.
What works for me is really making sure that I remember their ages and try to get them to help me whenever I can. Or at least give them the allusion they are helping so that I can get some things done. I also make sure that I have at least 30-45 minutes of time, where I sit down and play with them each night. It can be before bed, after or before bath, but it's OUR time. If the dishes aren't done until after bed, or even the next morning depending on what they are, than so be it. It helps to relax and reconnect with them, so I am not stressed around them at all times.
Also, breakfast for dinner is one of the easiest dinners and something they can help with. French toast, I let my kids rip the bread pieces in half (who cares if they're neat right?). I also have a section of silverware that they can get into and pick out their own sppon or fork. They pick what seat they want to sit in and get in it. What place they want......all little things they can do, to keep them busy while I am cooking. Or I have them color something for me while I cook so they sit still.
With the baby it is hard, I remember.......but as long as you can make your 2 year old feel like she is helping and than I found my son to be a little more cooperative and I wasn't trying so hard to keep him busy.

Updated

You sound like me....I work full time, have two boys, 3 1/2 and 2 and have an hour long commute each way. My husband works out of town so I am alone about half of the time. It is so hard to pull it together sometimes.
What works for me is really making sure that I remember their ages and try to get them to help me whenever I can. Or at least give them the allusion they are helping so that I can get some things done. I also make sure that I have at least 30-45 minutes of time, where I sit down and play with them each night. It can be before bed, after or before bath, but it's OUR time. If the dishes aren't done until after bed, or even the next morning depending on what they are, than so be it. It helps to relax and reconnect with them, so I am not stressed around them at all times.
Also, breakfast for dinner is one of the easiest dinners and something they can help with. French toast, I let my kids rip the bread pieces in half (who cares if they're neat right?). I also have a section of silverware that they can get into and pick out their own sppon or fork. They pick what seat they want to sit in and get in it. What place they want......all little things they can do, to keep them busy while I am cooking. Or I have them color something for me while I cook so they sit still.
With the baby it is hard, I remember.......but as long as you can make your 2 year old feel like she is helping and than I found my son to be a little more cooperative and I wasn't trying so hard to keep him busy.

Updated

You sound like me....I work full time, have two boys, 3 1/2 and 2 and have an hour long commute each way. My husband works out of town so I am alone about half of the time. It is so hard to pull it together sometimes.
What works for me is really making sure that I remember their ages and try to get them to help me whenever I can. Or at least give them the allusion they are helping so that I can get some things done. I also make sure that I have at least 30-45 minutes of time, where I sit down and play with them each night. It can be before bed, after or before bath, but it's OUR time. If the dishes aren't done until after bed, or even the next morning depending on what they are, than so be it. It helps to relax and reconnect with them, so I am not stressed around them at all times.
Also, breakfast for dinner is one of the easiest dinners and something they can help with. French toast, I let my kids rip the bread pieces in half (who cares if they're neat right?). I also have a section of silverware that they can get into and pick out their own sppon or fork. They pick what seat they want to sit in and get in it. What place they want......all little things they can do, to keep them busy while I am cooking. Or I have them color something for me while I cook so they sit still.
With the baby it is hard, I remember.......but as long as you can make your 2 year old feel like she is helping and than I found my son to be a little more cooperative and I wasn't trying so hard to keep him busy.

Updated

You sound like me....I work full time, have two boys, 3 1/2 and 2 and have an hour long commute each way. My husband works out of town so I am alone about half of the time. It is so hard to pull it together sometimes.
What works for me is really making sure that I remember their ages and try to get them to help me whenever I can. Or at least give them the allusion they are helping so that I can get some things done. I also make sure that I have at least 30-45 minutes of time, where I sit down and play with them each night. It can be before bed, after or before bath, but it's OUR time. If the dishes aren't done until after bed, or even the next morning depending on what they are, than so be it. It helps to relax and reconnect with them, so I am not stressed around them at all times.
Also, breakfast for dinner is one of the easiest dinners and something they can help with. French toast, I let my kids rip the bread pieces in half (who cares if they're neat right?). I also have a section of silverware that they can get into and pick out their own sppon or fork. They pick what seat they want to sit in and get in it. What place they want......all little things they can do, to keep them busy while I am cooking. Or I have them color something for me while I cook so they sit still.
With the baby it is hard, I remember.......but as long as you can make your 2 year old feel like she is helping and than I found my son to be a little more cooperative and I wasn't trying so hard to keep him busy.

Updated

You sound like me....I work full time, have two boys, 3 1/2 and 2 and have an hour long commute each way. My husband works out of town so I am alone about half of the time. It is so hard to pull it together sometimes.
What works for me is really making sure that I remember their ages and try to get them to help me whenever I can. Or at least give them the allusion they are helping so that I can get some things done. I also make sure that I have at least 30-45 minutes of time, where I sit down and play with them each night. It can be before bed, after or before bath, but it's OUR time. If the dishes aren't done until after bed, or even the next morning depending on what they are, than so be it. It helps to relax and reconnect with them, so I am not stressed around them at all times.
Also, breakfast for dinner is one of the easiest dinners and something they can help with. French toast, I let my kids rip the bread pieces in half (who cares if they're neat right?). I also have a section of silverware that they can get into and pick out their own sppon or fork. They pick what seat they want to sit in and get in it. What place they want......all little things they can do, to keep them busy while I am cooking. Or I have them color something for me while I cook so they sit still.
With the baby it is hard, I remember.......but as long as you can make your 2 year old feel like she is helping and than I found my son to be a little more cooperative and I wasn't trying so hard to keep him busy.

Updated

You sound like me....I work full time, have two boys, 3 1/2 and 2 and have an hour long commute each way. My husband works out of town so I am alone about half of the time. It is so hard to pull it together sometimes.
What works for me is really making sure that I remember their ages and try to get them to help me whenever I can. Or at least give them the allusion they are helping so that I can get some things done. I also make sure that I have at least 30-45 minutes of time, where I sit down and play with them each night. It can be before bed, after or before bath, but it's OUR time. If the dishes aren't done until after bed, or even the next morning depending on what they are, than so be it. It helps to relax and reconnect with them, so I am not stressed around them at all times.
Also, breakfast for dinner is one of the easiest dinners and something they can help with. French toast, I let my kids rip the bread pieces in half (who cares if they're neat right?). I also have a section of silverware that they can get into and pick out their own sppon or fork. They pick what seat they want to sit in and get in it. What place they want......all little things they can do, to keep them busy while I am cooking. Or I have them color something for me while I cook so they sit still.
With the baby it is hard, I remember.......but as long as you can make your 2 year old feel like she is helping and than I found my son to be a little more cooperative and I wasn't trying so hard to keep him busy.

Updated

You sound like me....I work full time, have two boys, 3 1/2 and 2 and have an hour long commute each way. My husband works out of town so I am alone about half of the time. It is so hard to pull it together sometimes.
What works for me is really making sure that I remember their ages and try to get them to help me whenever I can. Or at least give them the allusion they are helping so that I can get some things done. I also make sure that I have at least 30-45 minutes of time, where I sit down and play with them each night. It can be before bed, after or before bath, but it's OUR time. If the dishes aren't done until after bed, or even the next morning depending on what they are, than so be it. It helps to relax and reconnect with them, so I am not stressed around them at all times.
Also, breakfast for dinner is one of the easiest dinners and something they can help with. French toast, I let my kids rip the bread pieces in half (who cares if they're neat right?). I also have a section of silverware that they can get into and pick out their own sppon or fork. They pick what seat they want to sit in and get in it. What place they want......all little things they can do, to keep them busy while I am cooking. Or I have them color something for me while I cook so they sit still.
With the baby it is hard, I remember.......but as long as you can make your 2 year old feel like she is helping and than I found my son to be a little more cooperative and I wasn't trying so hard to keep him busy.

Updated

You sound like me....I work full time, have two boys, 3 1/2 and 2 and have an hour long commute each way. My husband works out of town so I am alone about half of the time. It is so hard to pull it together sometimes.
What works for me is really making sure that I remember their ages and try to get them to help me whenever I can. Or at least give them the allusion they are helping so that I can get some things done. I also make sure that I have at least 30-45 minutes of time, where I sit down and play with them each night. It can be before bed, after or before bath, but it's OUR time. If the dishes aren't done until after bed, or even the next morning depending on what they are, than so be it. It helps to relax and reconnect with them, so I am not stressed around them at all times.
Also, breakfast for dinner is one of the easiest dinners and something they can help with. French toast, I let my kids rip the bread pieces in half (who cares if they're neat right?). I also have a section of silverware that they can get into and pick out their own sppon or fork. They pick what seat they want to sit in and get in it. What place they want......all little things they can do, to keep them busy while I am cooking. Or I have them color something for me while I cook so they sit still.
With the baby it is hard, I remember.......but as long as you can make your 2 year old feel like she is helping and than I found my son to be a little more cooperative and I wasn't trying so hard to keep him busy.

Updated

You sound like me....I work full time, have two boys, 3 1/2 and 2 and have an hour long commute each way. My husband works out of town so I am alone about half of the time. It is so hard to pull it together sometimes.
What works for me is really making sure that I remember their ages and try to get them to help me whenever I can. Or at least give them the allusion they are helping so that I can get some things done. I also make sure that I have at least 30-45 minutes of time, where I sit down and play with them each night. It can be before bed, after or before bath, but it's OUR time. If the dishes aren't done until after bed, or even the next morning depending on what they are, than so be it. It helps to relax and reconnect with them, so I am not stressed around them at all times.
Also, breakfast for dinner is one of the easiest dinners and something they can help with. French toast, I let my kids rip the bread pieces in half (who cares if they're neat right?). I also have a section of silverware that they can get into and pick out their own sppon or fork. They pick what seat they want to sit in and get in it. What place they want......all little things they can do, to keep them busy while I am cooking. Or I have them color something for me while I cook so they sit still.
With the baby it is hard, I remember.......but as long as you can make your 2 year old feel like she is helping and than I found my son to be a little more cooperative and I wasn't trying so hard to keep him busy.

Updated

You sound like me....I work full time, have two boys, 3 1/2 and 2 and have an hour long commute each way. My husband works out of town so I am alone about half of the time. It is so hard to pull it together sometimes.
What works for me is really making sure that I remember their ages and try to get them to help me whenever I can. Or at least give them the allusion they are helping so that I can get some things done. I also make sure that I have at least 30-45 minutes of time, where I sit down and play with them each night. It can be before bed, after or before bath, but it's OUR time. If the dishes aren't done until after bed, or even the next morning depending on what they are, than so be it. It helps to relax and reconnect with them, so I am not stressed around them at all times.
Also, breakfast for dinner is one of the easiest dinners and something they can help with. French toast, I let my kids rip the bread pieces in half (who cares if they're neat right?). I also have a section of silverware that they can get into and pick out their own sppon or fork. They pick what seat they want to sit in and get in it. What place they want......all little things they can do, to keep them busy while I am cooking. Or I have them color something for me while I cook so they sit still.
With the baby it is hard, I remember.......but as long as you can make your 2 year old feel like she is helping and than I found my son to be a little more cooperative and I wasn't trying so hard to keep him busy.

Updated

You sound like me....I work full time, have two boys, 3 1/2 and 2 and have an hour long commute each way. My husband works out of town so I am alone about half of the time. It is so hard to pull it together sometimes.
What works for me is really making sure that I remember their ages and try to get them to help me whenever I can. Or at least give them the allusion they are helping so that I can get some things done. I also make sure that I have at least 30-45 minutes of time, where I sit down and play with them each night. It can be before bed, after or before bath, but it's OUR time. If the dishes aren't done until after bed, or even the next morning depending on what they are, than so be it. It helps to relax and reconnect with them, so I am not stressed around them at all times.
Also, breakfast for dinner is one of the easiest dinners and something they can help with. French toast, I let my kids rip the bread pieces in half (who cares if they're neat right?). I also have a section of silverware that they can get into and pick out their own sppon or fork. They pick what seat they want to sit in and get in it. What place they want......all little things they can do, to keep them busy while I am cooking. Or I have them color something for me while I cook so they sit still.
With the baby it is hard, I remember.......but as long as you can make your 2 year old feel like she is helping and than I found my son to be a little more cooperative and I wasn't trying so hard to keep him busy.

Updated

You sound like me....I work full time, have two boys, 3 1/2 and 2 and have an hour long commute each way. My husband works out of town so I am alone about half of the time. It is so hard to pull it together sometimes.
What works for me is really making sure that I remember their ages and try to get them to help me whenever I can. Or at least give them the allusion they are helping so that I can get some things done. I also make sure that I have at least 30-45 minutes of time, where I sit down and play with them each night. It can be before bed, after or before bath, but it's OUR time. If the dishes aren't done until after bed, or even the next morning depending on what they are, than so be it. It helps to relax and reconnect with them, so I am not stressed around them at all times.
Also, breakfast for dinner is one of the easiest dinners and something they can help with. French toast, I let my kids rip the bread pieces in half (who cares if they're neat right?). I also have a section of silverware that they can get into and pick out their own sppon or fork. They pick what seat they want to sit in and get in it. What place they want......all little things they can do, to keep them busy while I am cooking. Or I have them color something for me while I cook so they sit still.
With the baby it is hard, I remember.......but as long as you can make your 2 year old feel like she is helping and than I found my son to be a little more cooperative and I wasn't trying so hard to keep him busy.

Updated

You sound like me....I work full time, have two boys, 3 1/2 and 2 and have an hour long commute each way. My husband works out of town so I am alone about half of the time. It is so hard to pull it together sometimes.
What works for me is really making sure that I remember their ages and try to get them to help me whenever I can. Or at least give them the allusion they are helping so that I can get some things done. I also make sure that I have at least 30-45 minutes of time, where I sit down and play with them each night. It can be before bed, after or before bath, but it's OUR time. If the dishes aren't done until after bed, or even the next morning depending on what they are, than so be it. It helps to relax and reconnect with them, so I am not stressed around them at all times.
Also, breakfast for dinner is one of the easiest dinners and something they can help with. French toast, I let my kids rip the bread pieces in half (who cares if they're neat right?). I also have a section of silverware that they can get into and pick out their own sppon or fork. They pick what seat they want to sit in and get in it. What place they want......all little things they can do, to keep them busy while I am cooking. Or I have them color something for me while I cook so they sit still.
With the baby it is hard, I remember.......but as long as you can make your 2 year old feel like she is helping and than I found my son to be a little more cooperative and I wasn't trying so hard to keep him busy.

Updated

You sound like me....I work full time, have two boys, 3 1/2 and 2 and have an hour long commute each way. My husband works out of town so I am alone about half of the time. It is so hard to pull it together sometimes.
What works for me is really making sure that I remember their ages and try to get them to help me whenever I can. Or at least give them the allusion they are helping so that I can get some things done. I also make sure that I have at least 30-45 minutes of time, where I sit down and play with them each night. It can be before bed, after or before bath, but it's OUR time. If the dishes aren't done until after bed, or even the next morning depending on what they are, than so be it. It helps to relax and reconnect with them, so I am not stressed around them at all times.
Also, breakfast for dinner is one of the easiest dinners and something they can help with. French toast, I let my kids rip the bread pieces in half (who cares if they're neat right?). I also have a section of silverware that they can get into and pick out their own sppon or fork. They pick what seat they want to sit in and get in it. What place they want......all little things they can do, to keep them busy while I am cooking. Or I have them color something for me while I cook so they sit still.
With the baby it is hard, I remember.......but as long as you can make your 2 year old feel like she is helping and than I found my son to be a little more cooperative and I wasn't trying so hard to keep him busy.

Updated

You sound like me....I work full time, have two boys, 3 1/2 and 2 and have an hour long commute each way. My husband works out of town so I am alone about half of the time. It is so hard to pull it together sometimes.
What works for me is really making sure that I remember their ages and try to get them to help me whenever I can. Or at least give them the allusion they are helping so that I can get some things done. I also make sure that I have at least 30-45 minutes of time, where I sit down and play with them each night. It can be before bed, after or before bath, but it's OUR time. If the dishes aren't done until after bed, or even the next morning depending on what they are, than so be it. It helps to relax and reconnect with them, so I am not stressed around them at all times.
Also, breakfast for dinner is one of the easiest dinners and something they can help with. French toast, I let my kids rip the bread pieces in half (who cares if they're neat right?). I also have a section of silverware that they can get into and pick out their own sppon or fork. They pick what seat they want to sit in and get in it. What place they want......all little things they can do, to keep them busy while I am cooking. Or I have them color something for me while I cook so they sit still.
With the baby it is hard, I remember.......but as long as you can make your 2 year old feel like she is helping and than I found my son to be a little more cooperative and I wasn't trying so hard to keep him busy.

Updated

You sound like me....I work full time, have two boys, 3 1/2 and 2 and have an hour long commute each way. My husband works out of town so I am alone about half of the time. It is so hard to pull it together sometimes.
What works for me is really making sure that I remember their ages and try to get them to help me whenever I can. Or at least give them the allusion they are helping so that I can get some things done. I also make sure that I have at least 30-45 minutes of time, where I sit down and play with them each night. It can be before bed, after or before bath, but it's OUR time. If the dishes aren't done until after bed, or even the next morning depending on what they are, than so be it. It helps to relax and reconnect with them, so I am not stressed around them at all times.
Also, breakfast for dinner is one of the easiest dinners and something they can help with. French toast, I let my kids rip the bread pieces in half (who cares if they're neat right?). I also have a section of silverware that they can get into and pick out their own sppon or fork. They pick what seat they want to sit in and get in it. What place they want......all little things they can do, to keep them busy while I am cooking. Or I have them color something for me while I cook so they sit still.
With the baby it is hard, I remember.......but as long as you can make your 2 year old feel like she is helping and than I found my son to be a little more cooperative and I wasn't trying so hard to keep him busy.

Updated

You sound like me....I work full time, have two boys, 3 1/2 and 2 and have an hour long commute each way. My husband works out of town so I am alone about half of the time. It is so hard to pull it together sometimes.
What works for me is really making sure that I remember their ages and try to get them to help me whenever I can. Or at least give them the allusion they are helping so that I can get some things done. I also make sure that I have at least 30-45 minutes of time, where I sit down and play with them each night. It can be before bed, after or before bath, but it's OUR time. If the dishes aren't done until after bed, or even the next morning depending on what they are, than so be it. It helps to relax and reconnect with them, so I am not stressed around them at all times.
Also, breakfast for dinner is one of the easiest dinners and something they can help with. French toast, I let my kids rip the bread pieces in half (who cares if they're neat right?). I also have a section of silverware that they can get into and pick out their own sppon or fork. They pick what seat they want to sit in and get in it. What place they want......all little things they can do, to keep them busy while I am cooking. Or I have them color something for me while I cook so they sit still.
With the baby it is hard, I remember.......but as long as you can make your 2 year old feel like she is helping and than I found my son to be a little more cooperative and I wasn't trying so hard to keep him busy.

Updated

You sound like me....I work full time, have two boys, 3 1/2 and 2 and have an hour long commute each way. My husband works out of town so I am alone about half of the time. It is so hard to pull it together sometimes.
What works for me is really making sure that I remember their ages and try to get them to help me whenever I can. Or at least give them the allusion they are helping so that I can get some things done. I also make sure that I have at least 30-45 minutes of time, where I sit down and play with them each night. It can be before bed, after or before bath, but it's OUR time. If the dishes aren't done until after bed, or even the next morning depending on what they are, than so be it. It helps to relax and reconnect with them, so I am not stressed around them at all times.
Also, breakfast for dinner is one of the easiest dinners and something they can help with. French toast, I let my kids rip the bread pieces in half (who cares if they're neat right?). I also have a section of silverware that they can get into and pick out their own sppon or fork. They pick what seat they want to sit in and get in it. What place they want......all little things they can do, to keep them busy while I am cooking. Or I have them color something for me while I cook so they sit still.
With the baby it is hard, I remember.......but as long as you can make your 2 year old feel like she is helping and than I found my son to be a little more cooperative and I wasn't trying so hard to keep him busy.

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You sound like me....I work full time, have two boys, 3 1/2 and 2 and have an hour long commute each way. My husband works out of town so I am alone about half of the time. It is so hard to pull it together sometimes.
What works for me is really making sure that I remember t

Hi, I am not in exactly the same situation but somewhat similar. My husband works at 3 different jobs and is gone early in the morning and comes back at 6 pm and one day a week he also works at night. I work from home, have a 3 year old boy and I am 37 weeks pregnant, practically incapable of walking, tired, no energy to play, cook or anything. No baby sitter or nanny, no family around and my son is not going to pre-schol yet (he will in September). My husband does try to help as much as possible after he comes home. But I still find myself in the same situation as you do, impatient, irritable and making threats, etc.
One thing I have managed to do that helps me a great deal is that in the bonus chart I have created for my son, I give him double points for whenever he can manage to play on his own without asking me ceaselessly "mommy come and play with me". I tell him, I am very tired now and I need to lie down, or I have to cook now, if you play on your own near me, even on the kitchen floor, I will give you two stars intsead of one and if you play a quiet game, I'll give you another star. He knows that this will get him closer to a potential gift on the bonus chart. "incentives" are good, use as many as you can. Kids love to be reminded that they have been good and that they deserve something for that. I also make a point to tell his father when he comes home that he has been a good boy for this or that, loud and clear so he can hear me.

When your daughter is asking to be held, and that you're running around, those are times to remind her of the good things she has done, especillay those times she has been independent, it's a good distraction. If you can do that while doing other things, I know it's not easy. I notice whenever I do that my son's expression changes, he thinks, he tries to remember.

Because I am pregnant, my son is now trying to get many more hugs everyday. I do my best and sometimes when he is not asking for it and I see it's a good opportunity I initiate the hug, I tell him I need a hug and he runs to me. So for all those times you are incapable to hold her, find some other opportunities when you can initiate one out of the blue. She'll love it, and she'll remember it.

The other thing I do that helps me right now, is to manage his DVD time differently. Instead of letting him watch DVDs at a time when i am available and have energy, I have changed the DVD schedule so he can watch it when i am desparately in need of time for me to cook, work, tidy up, sit down, lie down, whatever. Depending on how many minutes or hours per day you let her watch DVDs or TV, try to manage that time better. This could also be any other activity that she loves doing and that she can do on her own or with little supervision. But remember to not always do the same thing. For DVDs, I also try to find the time to sit with him and watch a DVD or do an activity just to show him that I am interested in what he is doing. They need that too.

I also occasionally change bath time. we do have a routine we stick to. but if at some point it's really difficult to follow the routine every week, I change it occasionally and I tell him that this is an exceptional extra bath we're having in the afternoon! and again he loves it. He thinks it's a special treat.

I hope this helps. You're not alone.
fari

I'm sorry and can completely relate as my situation almost exactly mirrors yours. Here's what works for me:
* As much meal prep on the weekends as possible.
* VERY simple meals - such as crock pot dishes and pasta
* Cleaning after the kids go to bed - still so exhausting but unavoidable
* Having the toddler color at the table or "cook" in the corner of our very small kitchen while I cook
* Allowing my toddler to watch a 20 minute program so that I can bathe and nurse the baby without also being a jungle gym - it may help this is the only TV he gets to watch and even with that said, this doesn't always work
* Having regular "cuddle time" with the older one (and of course the younger one too) but this way the older one knows when he will be held
* Sticking to a consistent routine.
* And, repeating to myself as you seem to do, "I love them and someday I will both miss this stage and this will get easier."

I have found that prepping dinner while my toddler is napping on the days I am home helps a lot. I have also started to let him help me in the kitchen where possible. We got him a pretend kitchen for Christmas and sometimes I can get him to cook in his kitchen while I cook in the big kitchen, stress the sometimes. I also try to save TV time for when I really need to be doing something like cooking dinner. As for bathtime and bedtime that can be hardest of all. I know it is hard but I try to redirect my son and just keep things light if he is not cooperating. Not sure if you do it but we use the 2 choice method. He gets 2 choices that are both acceptable to me and then he gets to pick one. This can help if your toddler is not cooperating in what you need her to do.

Good luck, I agree that the late afternoon and evenings are a really challenging time to be alone with a toddler.

I so hear you. I have a 23 month old and a 2.5 month old. One thing that really helps is if I play with the toddler for a good 30 minutes before I start cooking. She then usually continues to play on her own, just checking in with me from time to time. I've been putting the baby down for a nap around 5, so that usually gives me 30-45 minutes to do dinner prep. But it's hard, and who knows for how long he will take the third nap, my daughter never really took one.

I also have less patience. I let hubby deal with the toddler when he gets home, and that helps me then have the patience for picking out PJs and getting the toddler to bed.

Sounds to me like you are doing a great job. Not much longer and the baby won't be a baby, and the toddler won't want to be held, etc. Until then, hang in there!

Wine and a very good friend to vent to. I find we feel especially stressed when we haven't had enough "grown up" interaction. We feel a lone and frustrated. And not heard. If you can get them both in safe place as mentioned here, call a friend. Just having someone to listen to you and hopefully understand and commisserate with you. Don't call hubby because he will just think you are whining or he will feel guilty that he can't do more, depending on your hubby. Or arrange a playdate just before meltdown time. Great way to rehash your day with a friend and tire out your kids.

K.,
You're not alone, as all the responses show! I wanted to chime in as well. I work full time and travel often - sometimes my husband and I have opposing travel schedules, so we each often feel like single parents!

A couple of things that have saved my sanity:
1) A glass of wine
2) Changing up the schedule so the things that make me the craziest get done sooner, before I lose my patience. For us, this is bath time. So as soon as the kids are home from school, they go right into the bath. Then at 7pm, all I have to contend with is brushing teeth, which is not as hard (for me) as bath. Similarly, you may choose to bathe the kids while you take your shower in the morning. Whatever works.
3) Dream Dinners (or Super Suppers, or Dinner My Way). I buy my dinners a month at a time - I go and assemble them, which takes about 2 hours once a month, and they are frozen in individual bags when I get home (each bag has a cooking instruction label inside). Then the night before, I take the bag from the freezer and put it in the fridge to thaw. When I'm ready to cook dinner, I take it out, cook it (most take less than 30 minutes to cook), and voila. Dinner on the table with no stress AND hardly any dirty pots and pans. Cost per serving is around $4, dinners are generally low in fat and pretty healthy.
4) If you are trying to get something done (make dinner, make a phone call, clean the kitchen, whatever), put a movie on for the kids. This is my magic bullet - they hardly ever get to watch anything, so when I do let them, they are transfixed. At your daughter's age, she may still enjoy Baby Einstein (as will your son), or turn on Sprout TV - it is completely age-appropriate for toddlers and preschoolers.

I hope that helps. You're not alone in this! I think every household across America experiences this same thing, and we're all going completely bonkers at the same time. =)

A glass of wine at 5pm (sometimes at 4:30)! :) I have 3 kids, 5, 4 and 2 and I know EXACTLY how you feel. Know that you are doing a great job and you aren't alone!!!! Maybe try making some crock pot meals during the week. You can put everything in after breakfast and it's ready at dinner...have the older child help set the table (even if you end up eating with kids plate and fork) so you can feed the baby. Then put the baby in a swing (or whatever you have) and sit down and converse and eat with the baby. (I know easier said then done sometimes) Leave the kitchen as is and give the kids a bath, read books, etc... AFTER you put the kids down then go back and finish cleaning up and having another glass of wine (in peace and quiet). By the time hubby comes home you have a semi clean house and you are more relaxed and "willing".

There is already a lot of great advice. Just wanted to add: make sure your toddler spends as much time outside as possible! It's alot easier when they've burned off a lot of calories earlier in the day... Good luck!

You've gotten a lot of great responses already, but I wanted to add this: I am a SAHM, and even *I* get overwhelmed!! I recently told my husband that not only is the grass greener on the other side (he wants more time with the kids, while I want less), but sometimes I wonder if it'd be easier if I DID work!!! Then, maybe things around the house would be more 50/50.

When you start to feel overwhelmed, put the baby down in a safe area, make sure your daughter is safe, and walk away for even a minute (more if you're comfortable). Crying is MOST difficult for me to ignore, but honestly, one minute of crying is NOT going to harm our kids.

I also can't stress enough about ROUTINES!! A routine is SO important to a child! They need to feel some kind of control over their environment and knowing what's coming next, even if it's not the same exact time on the clock, will help. Your daughter wanting you to hold her is normal. You're busy, baby gets attention because he needs, and she just feels a little left out. NORMAL!! And again, not harmful. Find something that she can look forward to after dinner; you can use this as "leverage."

Take a deep breath, and keep reminding yourself that they're going to be grown and out on their own before you know it! This time is so precious! (I try to remind myself of this when my 3mo daughter won't sleep during the day) Congrats on your babies!

First of all... just know we are all there ... often! Its hard to keep it together all day long with active kiddos. I too struggle with saying consequence type statements all the time to keep my kids from acting out when I have reached my breaking point. Some things you might try if they work for you, is if your older one is still napping, take her to play or do some concentrated play time right before dinner/bedtime routine to get out that enerygy, then have some kind of activity she can do in the kitchen while you cook, like play with the tupperware or something. I found the energy burst at 4pm or so in our house necessitates some running around not at home and makes all things once home MUCH smoother even if its not for very long!
A few side note that helped me when I had an infant and a 2 1/2 year old was also, wearing the baby so that my hands were free for the older one to play wherever and also allowing me to feel connected and not neglectful of the baby. Another thing is to remember you are not superwoman and allow yourself to be tired, it will pass sooner than you think, and let something less important slack. Not sure if you have ever considered having someone come in and clean the major stuff, but I find a little tidying is MUCH easier since I have budgeted for someone to keep the dirtyness of my house at bay, and it makes sitting down for a bit much easier.
Anyway more than anything remember that you are human and we moms are all facing the same challenges and short fuses by dinner time and think about yourself because it sounds like you rock as a mom. good luck