How Did You Know Your Family Was Complete?

When the kids out numbered me and my husband we knew we were done. I still love babies and wish for more but I just hold someone elses. Especially if it's a little girl. :)
One thing my husband and I thought of was vacations. How old would the oldest be before the baby was old enough to do things. I want to go to Disney and ride all the rides as a family before the older one is too old to really enjoy that magical kid stuff. Know what I mean? I don't know if that makes sense writing it out.
Good luck.
:)

I am a very passionate person and my family is my passion. My oldest is 20 and my baby is 7. I would have two more kids if I had a husband.

I think about it all the time even though my life is INSANE with my 2, 4, & 6 year olds. I don't think you're crazy at all.

One and done! Got my perfect daughter the first time. Good thing, because we put it off until I was 40...

Everyone is different and it is between you and your husband to think through. Chapters ending can be a little sad, but new ones always start, too!

I knew I was done when I puked my guts out for 2 solid months and then gave birth an hour and a half after arriving at the hospital (with a TOTAL of 5 hours of labor) with my youngest.

I told them as I was checking in "I want my tubes tied while I'm here". They did and I haven't regretted even a tiny minute of it. I still love babies but I'm looking forward to the empty nest that is going to start happening the next few years.

My oldest will be 18 in may and graduating in June. It'll be a sad and EXTREMELY happy day for me LOL My youngest will be 13 in June ... yeah ... no more babies for me thanks.

I'll be happy to wait about 10 years (or more) and be grams to my kids babies. Always opportunities to get baby fixes if ya know where to look :)

I decided before giving birth to have only one child. She was what I could handle, economically and emotionally.

Plus, even when she was born, 40 years ago, I didn't feel it would be wise to bring more kiddos into the world, because the population curve was already climbing steeply, and science was already measuring impacts to pollution, food production, the survival of other species, and projecting climate changes. (Now the population "curve" is a line running almost straight up – yikes!)

I was content with that decision. I think it helped that I was very clear about my reasons for stopping with one. And now I'm a granny, and get to enjoy an amazing grandson!

LOL... I didn't need ANY help transitioning, in fact, I couldn't wait to be out of the newborn phase. Which is weird because I never thought that I would hate having babies so much. That sounds terrible I know- my kids are my whole world, my true loves, my everything, but I'm so glad that they are not babies any more and I have no idea what I would do with another! Just the thought makes me want to run away!

It's so funny how we get in a mindset and can't think otherwise. I often feel like I should want more kids because I'm a 28 year old woman and I only have daughters, no sons, so I feel like I *should* want to have another, but I DON'T!

I think that life has a way of showing us what's good for us, whether you believe in God or not. I think that if and when I'm supposed to have another, it will feel right to me.

And for you, if you truly are done, you will know it.

Good luck on your baby!

For me, and for many of my friends, it's like "how did you know your husband was "the one" - you just know. I know I was done before baby#2 was even born, but I have a friend who has 4 and wants another!

If you're not sure if you're done, then you're not done. Ignore what your silly friends are saying, and have as many babies as you want (as long as your hubby's in agreement!!!). Congrats on baby #3.

No one knows the answer for you, but you. For ME and my husband, we knew when I was even sicker during pregnancy #2 than I was with pregnancy #1. There is no way either of us wanted to endure 10 months of another pregnancy. I could give birth 20 times if I could just not be pregnant beforehand. Taking care of 2 other kids while pregnant with a 3rd was just really pretty much impossible for us. I am a SAHM and my husband is an air traffic controller (hold the sleeping jokes please... there is a LOT that people don't understand about that profession).. his work schedule is insane and has literally been shown to shorten the lifespan of people who work the hours he does. I am often at home alone at all times of day or night with the kids. No family lives nearby.
When I was pregnant with #2, we had to take our firstborn (son) to stay with his grandparents (4 hours away from us) for over a week, because I couldn't physically take care of him. I was so ill I didn't even ride in the car to take him, either. For another part of it, my mom drove down (from 6 hours away) and got me AND son and took us back to her house for 2.5 weeks.
Now that I am in my 40's, even though my kids are able to do for themselves quite a lot, I am to tired to be able to deal. I can't handle sleep deprivation any more. And I still have to ferry my kids around to school and after-school functions on a regular basis. I couldn't do it if I was pregnant. And hubby can't because he is at work. (Till 11:30 pm tonight- tomorrow it will be until 10:30, the next day it'll be until 8:30, etc)..

So... that is how WE knew. But we're not you. Only you and hubby will know. I still would get those "feelings" when someone at church would have a new baby. But now I am in a different "stage" like you mentioned, and I KNOW that it is that sweet nostalgia that is attractive to me, not the actual reality of having a demanding newborn. ;)

One and done. Planned pregnancy at 40. Have never had second thoughts.

I knew during pregnancy with my 1 16 yrs ago that I was complete. We have no regrets and we have enjoyed all the stages.

Could we afford more financially, yes but we both felt complete with our one only by choice. We are blessed to have a healthy, smart, great well rounded daughter and couldn't be happier!

I never ever said I was done. I always said that we would have each child one at a time and see where each would take us. Each month as we neared the fertile time of the month, my husband I discussed wether we felt we would like one more or not. I feel every child is a gift. We have had six. I figure when ever I hit menopause, I will know that I am done having kids.

I was not sure after I got my tubes tied. I was scared we did it too early in life. Then I had an awakening. I knew where I wanted to go with my life after kids. I realized I was designed to be a midwife. That is where my heart and soul rested at the end of the day. So now, I am very thankful. I have direction. A sense of peace. And the ease of knowing where god wants me to go with my life.

The first six months after my tubes were tied I regretted it. For the same reasons you state about it being such a big part if your life. I figure at the end of my last pregnancy I had been prego for almost 27 months. This was almost 27 months straight. I had no clue what it felt like to go a whole year without being knocked up. This was unsettling. Then when my last turned two. So did the chapter in my book. I think that is when I finally stopped thinking how great it would be to get pregnant again. I just forgot. Now I am more then glad I wont ever have to worry about whether or not it is time! Now I will just be waiting for the phone to ring late at night, having it be someone else whose time it is. I still have a few more years before I jump into school for my passion. Until then I fill my days with keeping up with my kids:)

As for four...My sister had her baby last April. It was so much to keep up with all my kiddos and then have him over. So i think to made it easier for me to except that I am done. I would hold off on having anything permanent done. Give yourself time to bounce back after this baby. In time if you still feel the tug to have another. Go for it!!!! Congrats and good luck!! there are so many babies due on the board right now. It is very exciting.

I was done with 3. But I am pregnant with my 4th. A total unexpected and unplanned surprise. You just know in your heart when your family is complete. I felt that way after the birth of my third baby. I was D-O-N-E. But I suppose God had other plans for me and here I am about to have my 4th.

I think it's different for everyone. I think ALL of us get baby fever no matter how many kids we have. With few exceptions, I think we all wonder at times if we should have another. Being pregnant and having a little baby can be difficult, but it's truly wonderful, so it's natural to want to do it again. However, as a mom I know pointed out, wanting a newborn is different than wanting to have to raise and be responsible for another life for 18+ years! Another mom I know jokingly said she stopped having kids when she finally figured out they don't stay babies.

I read an interesting study about why people choose to have multiple kids or only one. The main reason is that they love their child. Either they love their child so much they want another one to love like that or they love their child so much they can't imagine loving another that much and/or want to be able to devote all their time and resources to that child (the average cost to raise a child from birth to 18 *NOT counting college* is almost $300,000, and it's surely more in this area). It just depends how you react to loving to your child(ren).

I think that solid agreement between both spouses is crucial to deciding to have kids. If either of you isn't totally sure about another, I don't think you should try. In my mind, that's just far too big a potential strain on your marriage, and you don't want to put that on the child. Oh, and my youngest brother is a surprise baby, so I've always though you should stop before you get to your limit because you never know but you might reach the limit without trying!

You might end up having another, but I think you should focus on being a mom to the kids you have. If both you and DH simultaneously start to feel like you want another, then you can cross that bridge. Oh, you might also want to think about foster parenting. You can foster infants -- it's not easy work, and especially with infants you have to be prepared to give them back, but opening your loving home to a child without one is God's work, for sure.

My husband and I were blessed with a surprise 3rd child who is now a 15 month old wonderfully busy toddler. All during the pregnancy, I thought a lot about your "how will I know when my family is complete." The answer for me became clear after our 3rd was born. Making the transition from 2 to 3 was harder than from 1 child to 2 because as a few people have told us in sports terms, "You are no longer man on man, but rather zone." I am constantly feeling there is not enough of me to go around to each one. I love my kids and being a full-time mom, but I have become very content with our 3. That being said, I still feel a little sad when I pass on some of those baby things to friends. I think it's normal to grieve a little as you leave one life stage and enter another.
Because you are not 100% sure about your family size, please don't let anyone talk you in to permanent contraception. Wait a year after the baby is born and I think then you and your husband will both know. Best wishes on the birth of #3.

I have 3 girls and feel like I could have another one (boy or girl), BUT my husband is DONE and I feel like the 'no' wins this round. I may never feel "done", but I'd rather always want another than have HIM resent having one he didn't want (not that I think he ever WOULD resent a baby, just that you never know).

So I say, when either you or your husband feels done, then you're both done.

This may sound strange, but I have always wanted 3 and then we had issues......So, after one I was complete....I knew she was a HUGE blessing and I knew that some people never get that experience, so I was just thankful to have her.....Now, fast forward a few years and I'm expecting baby # 2, a boy......My husband says this is complete for him, one girl, one boy........Even though I've felt complete for quite some time, I still think 3 would be great.....I'm not sure if that makes sense, but to me it does, lol!

I don't know.
My husband is always talking about one more, I do get the tickle baby thing but not all the time.
As at right now, everything feels perfect as it is, but WHO knows what will happen next.
I have a 15 year old sister, so who knows, lol.
I think when you have your new baby in your arms and you see how all of you integrate in your new family you will have a better view.

I HATE being pregnant, so more than 2 was never an option in my book. (DH would've wanted 3 had I not refused to give birth any more).

I had to be talked into having #2...which of course...I couldn't live without her now. :) I don't regret having my kids - I know it can sound that way. I just HATED carrying and birthing (and recovering) from them.

So I knew before I even had #2 that there was no way I was doing any more!

I knew when I was diagnosed with cancer. My kids were 3 and 7, and I'd been planning on a third, although that intended pregnancy was still a year away. Even if my fertility was still intact after treatment, the risk would be too great. My kids didn't need another sibling, they needed me to be alive. I've always wondered who that third baby would have been, but at the same time, my last pregnancy and those first few years of my son's life weren't sad for me. I didn't know it was my last time when I was going through it, and I didn't know that he was my child of lasts when he met all of those precious baby milestones.
Good luck!

When I quit asking myself this question..... It took a while but I have finally answered myself is the family complete and my honest answer is, yes.

Someone once told me "I would know when I am done." When my fourth
was about a year old, I knew I was done. Something just came over me and
I never looked back. Maybe this will happen to you too. Good luck.

I have 2 kids, girl age 11 and boy 8. I also have a step dtr who is spec needs age 15. I'm an only child and always wanted 4-6 kids. However, I didn't marry until I was 30, had 2 difficult pregnancies and my dtr was born with a heart condition. So since I had one of each, and the cost of full time daycare for newborns wasn't in our budget, we decided not to have any more. I'm now divorced from him, happily marrried to a younger man :o) ...but still *wish* I could have had a couple more. I guess if I'm ever asked if I have any regrets...that would be it. But, I am happy with my family and to a point to feel *satisfied*. Congrats on your 3rd!!!

I don't know if my family is complete, either. Here's my story: I wanted 4 kids...my hubby originally wanted to cut it down to 2 kids. Well, my daughter is 6 and I still haven't gotten to even try to get pregnant with # 2. It's always finances. And this past year has been me wanting #2, and him wanting # 2 at different times. I'm getting older...I'll be 36 this year, so I'd say time is going to let me know. Some days I desperately want to have another one but I've been trying so long to be content with my daughter until my husband comes around that I freaked out when he actually agreed to try for a second one. If we don't get our minds together in the next 2 years then I'd say we are done. I used to say the cut off would be 35 years old but things change. I still want to give my daughter a sibling and enjoy another child. Easter egg dying at our house this year seems so lonely when I thought back to my childhood. I have 2 brothers and one sister. I still have a longing in my heart for another child. I've already given away most of our babystuff but things are replaceable. And kids bring such joy to our lives (and at times frustration and sorrow). I don't want it to be over too quickly. And I wished I could give my husband a little boy.

On the other hand, my sister cannot have kids and they are waiting on the whole adoption process. So, when I think of her I am grateful for being able to have even one child.

Enjoy your pregnancy and your baby. You'll get it figured out later.

PS I do love my daughter very dearly, it just feels wrong to me to leave her as an only child.

J.

I know exactly what you mean! Literally when I left the hospital after having my first (my son) I was ready to get pregnant all over again. I got pregnant with my daughter when my son was 8 months old. I had morning sickness with her for five months and was pretty uncomfortable by the end, but again after I brought her home I was already thinking I wanted another. Maybe even twins! My husband was more than fine to be done especially since we had a boy and girl. I was a little resentful at first and the baby bug held on for that first year of my daughter's infancy. Now that both of my kids are well into the toddler stage and we have gotten rid of heavy carseats, cumbersome strollers and bulky diaper bags it is really kind of nice. My children play really well together and it is fun to be able to converse with them and interact on a deeper level. I am now at a point where it feels like a win/win place to be. If I got pregnant today, I would be over the moon, but if I don't life is good too! Maybe let yourself get past that stage where the hormones are really raging, enjoy your newborn and see how you feel after a year or so. You should know by then if you are done or not. Hope this helps!
A.