How Can I Break My Daughter of This Habit...

Updated on August 29, 2012
J.C. asks from Lansing, KS
19 answers

Ok Mama's my 5yr old daughter had recenty (about 3 months ago) had a yeast infection, during that time she was uncomfortable and she would dig at herself (crotch area). Well now it is cleared up after a trip to the Dr but she cannot stop digging at herself, she does it everywhere infront of anyone ( the tball field. among other places..). I have tried to tell her to stop, if I see her doing it I remove her hand I am to the point that Im ready to punish her for it, but I dont want to I just want it to stop. I do not think she is m*********** I believe that is just a bad habit, I dont want to make her embarassed about her body or make her think that its not ok to be comfortable with herself its just making me crazy and I need some thoughts on what to do to help her stop I think at this point she cannot control it, like its just a part of the norm. Thanks

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So What Happened?

Thanks for the mostly nice & helpful answers ! I guess I left some things out, she no longer takes baths,
we have used the cream for about 3 weeks straight to no avail (and on & off when it seemed to be bothering her) she
has been to the Dr 3 times over this and the Dr says all clear they tested for uti and it was neg. We use the same detergent as always so I think it has just become a bad habit, I think she is making it more irritated with all the touching. I think I will buy even bigger panties and see if that helps I will also try the diaper cream and see if it sooths her any. And we have had the talk about touching, we have asked the questions has anyone... she says no. I hope she grows out of this soon thanks for all the advice ladies !!

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J.D.

answers from Philadelphia on

my daughters have both had this "problem". try getting her some bigger panties... that has helped my girls, as well as we switched to ALL free and clear detergent. My 4 year old daughter is still scratching (and she was tested and did not have a yeast infection or a UTI!), but she isn't doing it nearly as much anymore. good luck!

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M.P.

answers from Wichita on

Just wanted to say real quick that my best friend had a decade of trouble with yeast infections and treating it with what all the doctors suggested. While in college, she tried the alternative medicine route, drastically reducing sugars and consuming more foods with probiotics and it solved the problem. When I got a case of "cronic" yeast after having my baby, I took the perscribed medicine and when that didn't clear it up, I also cut out as much sugars as I could stand and it cleared up. I certainly would not have thought to try it if my friend had not experienced it herself.
Good luck, I hope you start to see some progress soon.

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S.H.

answers from San Antonio on

It is OK to punish her for doing something that is socially unacceptable (touching genitals in public) after you have repeatedly warned her not to do it again. Punishing her for that is not punishing her for touching her genitals in private. Part of the punishment is for being rude and drawing attention to private matters in front of others who don't care to see that and part is being disobediant.

You will not shame your daughter if you teach her basic manners. It is unacceptable to do this around other people, period. I tell my dd that she can touch whatever she needs to in the bathroom or in her own room but it is rude beyond measure to do it in the company of others. I think masturbation is healthy and fine, but there is no acceptable form of public genital digging and it needs to be stopped before people start commenting to her directly and not inviting her over to play.

I saw my dd's best friend do this at the age of 6 and it absolutely disgusted me. We were in the living room. I told her myself to go to the rest room and wash her hands. She went to the hand sanitizer instead. I took my kids outside and told her, in front of her mother, that she needed to wash her hands. (BTW, I am her science teacher and we have cultured bacteria together -- she knew why I was saying she needed to wash). I wasn't going to let my kids stay there until she did and I cannot understand how it is that her mother wasn't correcting her instead of me.

Sorry, this is a strong memory because she (her mother's inaction and the child's behavior) made me very uncomfortable and she could be spreading god knows what kind of bacteria around in the presence of my children.

Please correct this behavior.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Maybe it is not completely resolved.
If a person does not itch, they don't scratch.
If a person does itch, they scratch.
And for your daughter, is seems that is does itch down there... or at least it is not comfortable down there.

try making sure, that the yeast infect. was completely cleared up. Because, these things are often recurring... and hard to get rid of.

all the best,
Susan

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S.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

Your not alone my daughter when she first started preschool got infections all the time. the doctor said it was very common. Kids arent watched like they are at home and they want to go out and play so they rush. She didnt have this problem before starting school she just needed to slpow down and be thorough.
the infection reoccurs easily so be sure she is still infection free. Does she take bubble bath, if she does you will want to stop those they cause those types of infections in kids. if you still give her bathes at the end make sure she is rinsed throoughly. It is hard not to scratch when something itches so make sure she is not still having a problem before you start thinking of punishing her just in casse. It took a while for us but we talked to our daughter alot about the right way to wipe, doing it well and when she needed to scratch go somewhere out of sight of others. Also what helped was hydrocortizone, dont think i spelled that right, if she is still itchy put a little of that on her and see if that helps it really did for our daughter.

To Cathy it is very common and not very nice of you to sound so rude about it. It happens to more little girls than you think and this mom is looking for answers to fix it. Also if she is itching she may understand she shouldnt do it in public but for a 5yr old especially when something is wrong they just want to fix it so if she itches she itches try to be a little more understanding.

Good luck J. i hope you get things worked out.

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H.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

anecdotally, my mom was a major guilt tripper and shammer to me and my sister in this arena and I was unscathed- no body issues. In my opinion, we have swung too far on the pendulum of not wanting kids to have " down there body issues". I think it takes a lot more to create the kind of body issues you're worried about than the sort of actions your contemplating to help your daughter act decently in public. Besides, any real emotional scars your daughter is likely to succumb will come from the taunting she gets from friends if you don't help her break the habit.

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J.M.

answers from Boston on

My guess is that the yeast infection hasn't totally cleared up. If she were just adjusting her underwear then I'd say it's a habit, but if she's really digging, she's really itching.

How did you treat the yeast infection? It's possible that the yeast has infected the skin around her vagina, but is cleared out from the inside of her vagina. That itches like crazy, but not all doctors catch it. Try another week of anti-fungal cream just applied to the skin around her vagina.

Also, as another poster mentioned, how's her hygiene when she pees? My daughter was CONSTANTLY picking at her underwear and it was driving me crazy. I brought her to the dr to check for a UTI twice, and it was negative both times. Finally I brought her to a urologist, who told me to a) have her stop taking baths, always showers and b) make sure that she pulled her pants all the way down to her ankles, rather than knees, when she peed so that she could spread her legs really wide. She then does a little "shake" and then wipes. A week of that, no more underwear picking.

Having been in your place, I really do understand how crazy-making it is, but do check the physical stuff first. It stinks to have an itch you can't scratch. Good luck.

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L.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I'd check to see if the infection has come back. Also, diaper cream applied to the area might soothe and help; sometimes we use this on our daughter, who is also 5.

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C.H.

answers from Dallas on

First, I would ask the doctor by phone how you can tell if she might have had a rebound yeast infection. Tell them why you're asking.

I don't understand why a 5 year old doesn't understand that t******* h****** inappropriately in public is okay. This has me baffled. I'd ask the doctor about that too and examine what you have taught her in the past (or not) about that.

See if you can find a little kid's book on the subject to illustrate the point. Even if she has a recurrent yeast infection (which I don't understand why a 5 year old would get that either), she should know that she can't do that in public.

Have you asked her why she does that? Does she itch like before? Does it hurt? Is anyone else touching her there? just to cover all the bases I can think of.

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M..

answers from Miami on

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T.F.

answers from San Francisco on

I agree checking with the doctor not only to see if the yeast infection has cleared up but also if there is something that will soothe the are and help it heal. Could it be that it's continueally irritated and has become a viscious cycle? (It's uncomfortable or itches so she's "digging" at it which irritates it more and is uncomfortable and itchy...... )

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N.R.

answers from St. Louis on

Take her back to the doctor or a specialist. She is probably still having a problem--that it has not cleared completely.
Good luck

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J.R.

answers from Miami on

Hi J.,
Please please do not punish your daughter. Please be patient and gentle. She is obviously uncomfortable. We as women know what it is like to have a yeast infection. It is horribly uncomfortable and we all have the urge during those times to itch, but we have the will power to stop. She is only a child, and wants the uncomfortableness to go away, thus cannot help but itch down there.

Some concrete thoughts in addition to the below:
1. is she wearing all cotton undies?
2. have you changed laundry detergent or using one that is fragranced and thus may irritate her vaginal area?
3. do you wash in very hot water to get all the old germs out?
4. are her pants too tite down there where her pants ride up?
5. maybe she should wear skirts to allow more air?

GL, and again, please be gentle and patient with your daughter.
Jilly

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P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Sounds like she's developed a habit -- I would try bribery. Offer to buy her something or do something she really wants if she stops.

There's no reason asking her to stop should make her embarrassed about her body -- it's not appropriate to dig at your crotch in public, that's all.

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

Try having her not wear panties for a month. The change is something of a dramatic one, and may be enough of a reminder to break the habit.

Of course, you may want to wait until fall, when you can have her in pants 24/7

M.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Sit her down, and talk to her face to face, and tell her its wrong to touch herself down there outside of the house and in front of strangers!!!!!!!!!! Call the doc and ask him why she keeps doing wat she's doing!! Luck!!!!!!!!!

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

I see you've got a bunch of answers and I did not read them all. I did however read "so what happened next." I just wanted to tell you to be sure and get her cotton panties. They will let her privates breath. My mother developed on-set diabetes. Yeast infections are very common with diabetes. Her doctor told her to buy cotton panties for the reason I stated above. Synthetic fibers such as nylon will hold moisture in making it more likely that the yeast infection will return and also will make it harder to get rid of. Silk is also a good choice if you can find silk panties for a 5 year old, but during warmer weather, the silk will stick to her and probably be uncomfortable. You might also have your doc check for a fungal infection. Kids aren't always the best at keeping their hands clean and with all that scratching, she may have gotten more than she bargained for. Good luck!

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D.F.

answers from Boston on

Poor kid. The only advise I can give you at this point is that she would not keep digging if it did not itch. She would not just do out of habit if it were hurting her. This may sound gross but it works. The cream may have killed off even the good bacteria. Put regular natural yogurt in that area. I think I might even let her go without panties around the house with a long t-shirt. bigger panties made of all cotton. I know this must be making you both crazy but do not get mad at her, she has no idea why either. I know this is awful now, but it to will pass.

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C.R.

answers from Houston on

I wonder if this problem ever got corrected. My daughter has dealt with this since Kindergarten and we are in the 5th grade now. Please give me any advice. She is NOT m***********. It as if she is adjusting her underwear. She is ADHD and is on Focalin, however even before the stimulant she had this same nervous tic.

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