Help with 1 1/2 Year Old

The only advice I can give is to keep giving timeouts. My daughter is 21 months and has been doing the same thing. When she gets angry she will start to throw all her toys or anything near her. With her toys after she throws them I take them away and tell her we dont throw toys we can throw a ball. When I give her the toys back I tell her again no throwing. She will also throw her food when she does understand not to do that. When she does throw her food together we clean it up.
But I found the best way is time-out for one minute (1 minute for each year) I read that it takes atleast 20 times in time out for it to be effective so we are working on that and while she is in time out I just talk to her and tell her why she is in time out and I always end time out w/a hug. A good book I read is Toddler 411. Good luck I know what you are going through.

Like another poster said I try to redirect her behavior also. I choose to put her in time out if she absolutely needs it not for every little thing. The redirecting does work also.

I have a 20 month old and she is also starting to cry and scream when she doesn't get her way. My pediatrician recommended a few books and I am currently reading "1-2-3 Magic". The book says you can't use this until the child is at least 2, so I am just reading to get ahead of the curve. In the meantime, rather than give my daughter time-outs (which I don't htink she understands yet), I give myself one when she starts to throw a fit. I go and sit on the couch and close my eyes for 1 minute. It gives me a chance to catch my breathe and my daugther seems to quickly pull her act together once I ignore her. She usually winds up climbing into my lap and hugging me during this minute. After the minute, I give her a hug and act like nothing happened. Seems to be working so far and thought I would pass along this idea in case you want to try it too.

Sounds like you're daughter is turning 2 early. :o) They don't call it the terrible twos for no reason. In all seriousness this is something that is typical so don't worry too much. I recommend the book the Happiest Toddler on the Block it explains why toddlers do this and different ways (in addition to time outs) to change the behavior. You're daughter probably feels safest with you which is why she acts out with you but not with others. This is very typical behavior. It just means that she knows YOU will love her no matter what she does but she's not so sure about others. In a way it's a compliment to how secure you have made her feel. I know it's a rough time, I've been there, but you'll get through it. :o)

the best thing to do is ignore her when she's throwing a fit.. just say "tell me when you are through" and walk away.. she's trying to get a rise out of you and if she doesn't, the tantrums will stop. it may take a couple weeks, but they will stop.. stay with the time outs.. set a timer and aplace.. but don't lose your cool - calmly make it no big deal and she'll lose interest.. good luck

J., your daughter knows who she can manipulate and who she can't. Your caregiver and mom have established that they won't tolerate her behavior. Children are very quick to learn who they can manipulate and who they can't. Plus you are her parents, the people she feels most comfortable with and who she can relax with. So she is throwing these little fits to test your boundries and to see what she can get away with. Time outs may be too advanced for your daughter's age - she doesn't truly understand what is happening. A quick verbal reprimand and her removal from the area is a good start. Be firm and don't back down - if she wants a certain toy then you remove it from the situation until she can behave nicely and ask for it back. Hitting should be an immediate punishment - hold her hands and tell her - we do not hit. Be firm on everything you do and don't waver - lead by example and give her tasks to do at her level to keep her occupied. Praise her for task well done and behavior you like. Sometimes the positives outweight the negatives and kids figure out that they way to get what they want is with positive actions. Parents can be very wishy-washy especially with first children - stand firm on what you will accept and be quick to correct what you don't like. They will figure it out. If she is throwing a fit in a public place - you leave - even if it means leaving a cart full of groceries. She needs to know that you won't tolerate the behavior no matter where you are. Its a hard thing to do and time consuming but its worth it in the end. Good Luck!

Hi J.,

My daughter will be turning 2 at the end of June and I found her doing the same thing. Time outs didn't work for me I think she was too young to understand. I usually will ignore my daughter when she starts with her tantrum or try to divert her attention with something else. It works most of the time.

good luck

It sounds like your daughter is testing her boundries with you. I have three children and they all did the same thing. Stay consistent! This phase will pass as long as you don't give in to her! Once she knows that it's never going to be ok to hit you and she isn't getting what she wants out of the tantrum- she'll stop. Good Luck!

Hi J.,

We are going through the same thing with our daughter. Books don't tell you that the terrible twos start earlier than two!! We tried time outs with our daughter, but they do not completely understand what that is, however sometimes it works. We try to remove her for the situation if possible, i.e if we are home. Out in public can be more difficult. If she throws tantrums in public, we take her outside and let her calm down. Other times, if she throws a tantrum at home, we walk away from her because we know she wants the attention. I definitely feel your pain!

Sometimes are daycare kids see other kids throw tantrums and then they experiment at home. Emi (my daughter) started hitting and we found out some other kids are doing that at school, so she thinks it is okay at home. We have tried to correct that too. I would suggest to experiment and see what works best. We have a naughty chair that we use. Sometimes it works.

Good luck. If you have anymore questions, let me know!

B.

I like the last response the best. Take a time out yourself and catch your cool before you do anything in response to her. I have an 18 month old boy who is exhibiting the signs of terrible twos already and I see when he is out of control the worst thing I can do is react at all. I need to either take a nice drive with him or put him in a safe place while I gather my thoughts and knit a few rows. Good luck. It's sooooo hard. I have the Mother of All Toddler Books. It is pretty good but I like atchment parenting styles better.