My son is 10, he has been frequently caught with lighters in his pocket and gets in trouble for that, my oldest son has told me before that he was outside catching sticks on fire- I explained to him that he could not do this but still he seems to do it anyways! TODAY he was caught in the upstairs bathroom with fingernail polish remover all over a toliet paper roll and he was attempting to light it on fire!!!!! We lost our home to a fire last yr that luckily he was not any part of, but he just does not seem to get it!!!
What do I do? I am at a loss on this one!!!!! How can I teach him that he cannot do this behavior!!!! We lost everything we owned less than a year ago!!!! And that still did not teach him what a fire can do!!!!!
Please ANY info would be helpful!!!!
Thanks in advance,
T.
Well it turns out the reason he is doing this *craziness* is because he is having behavioral issues due to the fact that he is unable to control things that are going on in his life, we were told to *modify* his behavior with disipline...imagine that:) And so we are *cracking down* he punched his 7 year old sister 2 days ago and is grounded to his room for 2 weeks, we have taken everything out of his room except his bed and his dresser and he is to read books (I have bought a few about self esteem and how to be a good kid) and he is to be thinking about why he is acting out, at the end of his grounding he is to write an essay about what he has learned about his punishment and why he is not to put his hands on other people!!! Wish me luck!!!!:)
T.:
Not to freak you out, but firestarting behavior is usually an indication of something more (psychological). I would take him in to a professional and have him tested, just in case.
My second thought is, what is he so angry about? Firestarting is usually tied to anger and trauma in a childs life.
A. L
I would suggest professional help.
I agree with the others, it's time to take him in for some counseling.
Talk to your ped and ask for a referral to a psychiatrist/psychologist.
I'm no psychiatrist but I would say your son was traumatized by the family fire and he may be acting out his fears. Take him to a counselor. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder maybe??? This is above a behavorial problem this is deeper than that.
Was he like this before the fire that claimed your home? We had a fire in our home when I was small and I was always kind of intrigued by fire after that. He may need to talk to someone outside the home to deal with those emotions. Just a thought.
My fist thought when I read your post was how did the fire affect you son? Did he start being interested in fires before or after the house fire? If it is before then I would say he could just like fire. If it started after he may have been affected more deaply then you know. He may have a fear of fires and be trying to face the fears or learn what a fire can do. When I was younger my bed caught on fire with me in it. I had heating blanket the wires smoldered for a long time. Thankfully I woak up and no one was hurt. I got very intrested in fires after that. I wanted to know why it happened.
I am so sorry aobut your loss. the only thing i can suggest is to get him some counseling and let him talk to fire fighters. i dont know what else to suggest. I am sorry.
My first thought is to have him see a counselor. You could also go the scare tactic route and take him to a burn unit. They probably wouldn't let you in a room, but maybe if you talk to a nurse from the burn unit you could enlist his or her aid by having your son look in on a burn victim through a window or from pictures.
It's quite natural for some kids to want to watch fire. I was afraid my 3rd child had a problem but we made it through those years ok. In your case I agree that you need to get him into counseling immediately. You just don't know how much losing everything in a fire had an effect on him. If your wrong it won't hurt and if your right it might save some lives.
Suzi
My first thought is speaking to a psychologist and maybe a psychytrist as usually fire setters are diagnosed with conduct disorder i personally would think more the lines of ptsd (post traumatic stress disorder) he probably needs intensive counseling to help him grieve in a more constructive way. I know the event of the last fire was devastating to the whole family and i know you all can and will eventually make it through this experience your son just may have take this a bit harder than you all could have imagined please go see someone if it takes a while to get him in somewhere I would suggest trying the local church until he can go to a counselor as most churches have a greif counselor or youth pastor who can at least listen to his concerns. Please let us know.
It sounds like your son has an obsession with fire because of the fire your family went through last year. I would suggest some counseling for him. Sometimes children become obsessed with what hurt them most... kind of like they try to control what hurt them, if that makes sense. Finding a good counselor that will be able to get on his level and work to see what is really behind his behavior will help. Once the root issue is dealt with the behavior will change.
