Help Me Get My 3.5 Year Old to Sleep in His Own Bed!

We are working on our 2.5 year old as well. He has been in his own bed for about two weeks now. I actually found it much easier this time than the other times we've tried. I don't know if he was just ready or if it was the bribe. He has been begging for this Duplo Lego set, so I printed out a picture of it and drew three boxes on it. I told him every night he slept in his bed, we would put a sticker in a box, and when all the boxes were filled we would take the paper to the store and get him the set. Amazingly, this worked great. We took the paper in to Toys R Us and had him show the cashier as his "payment" and the cashier made a big deal about it too, congratulating him, which was very nice.

He did keep asking me *why* he couldn't sleep in our bed anymore. That question was so hard for me! It made me feel horrible every time he asked. I told him he was very big now and we weren't getting enough sleep because we were squished. It took a few days of me repeating that but he finally accepted that he was going to be in his own bed from now on.

Now, in week two our bribe is much smaller and less exciting and it is not working as well. He *is* sleeping in his bed, but he gives me a pretty hard time when I leave after reading books and singing songs. He is saying "You're making me sad Mommy, you're making me cry, Mommy" and stuff like that. My heart is broken every night. BUT! He falls asleep within a minute after I leave the room and sleeps through the night. I told him I can't come back in to his room until it is light out, so if he wakes up in the middle of the night he checks the window to see if the sun is up. If it's not he gets back in his bed. It's amazing how much easier this is with a rational, talking little being, rather than a younger child who doesn't understand.

All in all, this is way harder for me than it is for him. I LOVE sleeping with him -- well, snuggling anyway. We were not getting any sleep at all. So I miss him in our bed, miss knowing he is OK, and that kind of thing. But we are all sleeping so much better now. He is getting nice long 10 hour stretches of sleep, and I am even having dreams again! He wakes up happy and excited for the day. Way fewer meltdowns during the day.

Good luck!

My 6 y/o old has told me for the last 2 weeks how much she misses sleeping with me. I made her feel safe and loved. She understands it's her brother's turn now, but still tells me everyday how much she misses it. Her new bed is right at the end of ours and she STILL lets me know she misses my warm body to snuggle with. If we had a bigger bed, I'd still allow her to sleep with us.

I wrote this experience because I feel co-sleeping as a family is great, safe, comforting to all involved and more normal than forcing a child to sleep alone when the adult parents do not even sleep alone.

What I did for my son was printed a calendar and put a happy face on sat. Every night he slept in his bed he got a sticker and if he slept in his bed all week to sat he got a treat. And at end of the month he got a little toy. Yea some don't like bribing but I'm all for it! It does take a little bit for everyone to adjust to but it has worked great for my son!

I created a "I need mommy coupon". The concept is if my kids go a whole night without redeeming it, they will get a reward the next day. I can email it to you if you like. Just send me your email address.

I have no advice but I want you to know you are not alone! My 4 year old still sleeps in between us and im sick of it! We are fixing to start trying to get her out too. Good luck mama!