Help!!! - Saint Paul, MN

For timeouts you could place her in a highchair strapped in safely, in a crib or playpen. Set a timer for 2min. and ignore her. When the timer is up then explain why she was in time out etc...

When my daughter is being naughty and really needs a good time out I send her to her room, or sit on the stairs and she hates it. She hates that I ignore her even more. I don't use timers anymore I make her sit until she's calmed down, and I've calmed down and she's ready to behave again usually when she starts apologizing. Sometimes her timeouts are 3min. sometimes they're 30min. My daughter is also 6 so it's a little different.

Hi Sara,

I have a son who's almost 2, we don't use time outs. Only because I don't think it's an effective tool at that age (at least with my son...it might work for others, but each child is different), but rest asured, when he gets older I'll be using time outs. They are still at an exploritory age and wouldn't understand why they are being put in time out or the purpose of it.

We use the word "no" alot and do explain why not....he understands, we can tell, because when sometimes we say "no" he still tries to test us.. He thinks it's a funny game...."what will mom and dad do if I keep on doing this". We continue to say no and stay consistant and explain why and then we remove him from the situation. Sometimes he throws a tantrum, but we ignore them and he knows he doesn't get attention from them, so he rarely throws them.

We've also come to the realization, if we say no to something and he keeps doing it, we just need to let him learn that he'll get hurt Basically, pick your battles (this was hard for me to learn)....of course we don't let him do the extreemly dangerous things, like touch hot stoves or play with broken glass or anything like that. But for example, when messing around on the couch we tell him not to roll around like that or he'll fall..if he keeps doing it, we let him fall off the couch...he's old enough where it won't hurt him (strong enough neck ect), just a shock and maybe a small bump of the head on the carpet, but he learns then not to roll around on the couch or he might fall off and he becomes more careful and listens the next time we say no to that.

Hope this helps.

Personally I think the place to start is to truly recognize that she is very active and instead of telling her what she can't do, either eliminate those temptations (super child proof your home) then take a close look at what you think is dangerous but might just be well within her capabilities. For example I had a friend with a very, very active son. In order to child proof adequately, she had to put child locks on the upper cabinets as well as the lower cabinets because he was a climber. They had floor to ceiling bookcases attached to the wall. Of course he was on those constantly so instead of wasting her breath trying to teach him not to climb them, she worked at making sure she felt confident that he was capable of climbing them safely. Just because a child is up high doesn't mean they are going to fall! She could leave nothing dangerous on the counters. By the time she was done child proofing, the only off limits location was for him to be on top of the stove. She also made sure he was outside A LOT, bought him a tricycle before he was two (he was riding a bike with training wheels by 2 yrs 2 months) and looked for every opportunity for him to perfect and practice his physical skills in a safe manner. We have taken the same approach in our household. If my son was repeatedly getting somewhere I didn't want him at that age, we figured out how to make it harder or impossible. By age 3 he was able to better understand limits.

Personally I don't think time-outs are very effective at age 2 and should be used on an extremely limited basis, more as a chance for a child to wind down or get control of themselves when completely out of control rather than as a punishment. Help them find a space where they can feel calm. If you want her not to go somewhere or do something you need to just keep repeating that gently but firmly and then redirecting her. Or better yet figure out how to make it impossible for her to get into whatever it is.

A reccomendation for timeouts would be to make it a time out with the nose in the corner standing up. Sounds harsh, bu tthen they can's play or move around. Keeps them bored and focused on timeout. Sounds like she's playing you, and she needs to understand you are BOSS.

I have the same problem with my 2 year old and when she does dangerous stuff I tell her loudly Kaydence OWWW!! Then I mock what she is doind so she understands what is "oww". It works pretty well except she points and says oww and then when daddy gets home she tell him that it is oww and if he needs to do something (it was the stove) he gets mad and won't stop saying oww but at least she gets the picture :)
T.

I suggest you try to read the "Love & Logic: Magic for Eairly Childhood" by Jim & Charles Fay. I found that the suggestions to alternative discipline were a wonderfully refreshing.

explain to her why your saying no...this is what has worked with my son. Just the NO never got through, No honey, you could get hurt worked so much better

S.,

I two boys ages 3 & 2. My aunt who is an OT actually recommended a book called "1-2-3 Magic" by Thomas W. Phelan ,Ph.D. I started using the counting method and I've found it really works. It did take a good week to two weeks for the boys to actually follow but I swear by it.

Good Luck
Jen

I'm reading Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers and am finding it really helpful in dealing with my one-year-old. I got it at the library.
Best of luck.
:)M.

I can completely relate. I have a almost 2.5 year old son who I have similar experience with...it has been such a test of patience! I think for me what has worked best was changing the environment so that it was safer, diverting him to another safer activity including physically moving him even if he protested loudly, doing time outs even if he thinks it's a game at first...he seems to have come around a bit over a few months and now when I suggest a time out he says he doesn't want one and behaves better. Mostly I have had to adjust myself and realize this is a phase that we will both get better at over time. I do see a difference from when he was 2, to where he is now at 29 months. He listens better. I wish you a lot of luck!