He Got in to a Fight....

Talk to your son. Find out what happened from him, then talk to the cops, get their report. It sounds really odd that this other person was just so happening to be "wearing extra rings" on that day. It sounds like he was aiming to really hurt someone. if this was the case I would look into pressing charges and do so quickly. Especially if the other person was intending for those extra rings to do extra damage. It shows premeditation and intention to do serious bodily harm. Someone capable of that needs professional intervention.

Good luck to you.

with your son being a Green Belt - you should talk to his Grand Master or Saa Boo Nim (Tae Kwon Do) and see what they say is the best course to handle it..

My son, 12 is a 1st Don Black Belt. So I GET that he was defending himself.

I would ask him what the fight was over and who threw the first punch. To me, that would be important. Get to the REASON why the fight happened. Teenage years are tough. I know with my daughter it was and she was only with me part of the time...the testosterone in boys is high sometimes...

I am REALLY sorry that this happened. I am sorry there are people on here are trying to tell you what to call your son...my kids will ALWAYS be my babies... I don't care if they are 40 years old...they are still my babies..so you go girl!!

now back to your son...take pictures of his injuries. Then call your doctor's office and see what they want you to do...do they feel he needs to be looked at via X-rays or something??

Talk to the school principal Monday morning. the kids wearing "rings" is in the wrong...those are considered weapons and there aren't supposed to be weapons on school grounds.

Have your son write down EXACTLY what happened. Scan it in the computer so it can't be changed and send it via e-mail to the principal as well. I would be VERY disappointed if he had Varsity friends who did nothing to stop it. That would bother me - A LOT.

The important thing is COMMUNICATING with your son. Let him know you have his back and keep the lines of communication open with him...

HUGS TO YOU!!

Take him to the ER and get him fully checked out and photographed-there are cameras that evidence bruising before it becomes visible. Who did this to him? Who started the fight? Why were they fighting? Was he protecting someone? I'm surprised the police and the school haven't done anything??? Document everything-soon-he will start to forget or second guess his recollection the longer he waits to write down what happened. If you need to enter a case against someone or if they intend to enter one against your son-don't say anything to anyone without getting counsel, but be well prepared. Who witnessed this? Did others participate, encourage, try to help, etc? This may be important. Hope he recovers quickly.

The first thing you should do is treat his bruises and other injuries. Ice will help take down the swelling. Then talk to him be gentle I am sure he is embarrassed, it's a guy thing he will feel inadaquate taht he could not or did not defend himself. Make sure he knows that this has nothing to do with being a real man. Real men do not resort to fighting.

Talk to him about signing up for a martial arts school. Taking martial arts will not teach him how to fight but will teach him how to disfuse a hostile situation and defend himself if necessary.

My daughter got into a similar situation when she was in 8th grade. She had been in martial arts for about 5 years at that time and even though she really wanted to fight back she kept her cool and only defended herself. The school personel got all over us about this and she was sited for disorderly conduct but when the case went to court it was dismissed because she didn't fight back.

I totally understand the school policy for zero tolerance to fighting but if your child is attacked they should be able to defend themselves without any form of prosecution.

it doesn't sound like he got in a fight - it sounds like he got beat up. big difference. it would depend a LOT on the circumstances of how it happened. was he a victim of bullying? a gang? did he run his mouth and couldn't defend himself from lack of know-how? there are a lot of variables. my heart aches for you whatever happened - what a gut-wrenching feeling to see your baby like that. you need to have some long serious talks with him and get to the bottom of it, then you'll have a better idea how to move forward. good luck and i'm saying a prayer for you.

You just need to give yourself time. As with anything traumatic...time heals.

I dont understand was he jumped or did he get in a fight? I really dont know what i would have done in your shoes, what a horrible experience for a mother to go through. My husband, finace at the time, was jumped and beat very badly enough where he was hospitalized and had metal plates put in his face, I know how I felt when that happened, that was bad enough if it was my child I am sure it would feel even worse. I think it will take a while to get it out of your head, try to be strong for him. Be there for and with him and do talk to him about fighting, but not now, not when he is feeling and looking so bad, again not sure if he was jumped or got into a fight, I am sure somewhere in thier lives most boys do get into some type of altercation or another it sounds like your poor babies was one that got way out of hand. I wish him a fast recovery and as for you, stay strong!

Hello!

As a mom of two 'good' boys, I know how you are feeling. When one of my sons was in 5th grade, a school bully broke his nose. I have felt your pain. It takes a while to get over the feelings of anger that someone hurt your baby!

As a person who was also attacked by a schoolmate who borrowed her friends class rings, I know how your son feels. I didn't even know it was coming, then all of a sudden my principal is sending me home for medical attention. My whole face was swollen (and cut up) for days.

You know what? My pain as a mom in the above situation was/is much worse than the physical and emotional pain I felt as a teenager (which actually wasn't as bad as it looked).

How does your son Really feel about the fight? He has a right to feel angry at the other kid. Does he think it was more a rite-of-passage? Chances are, his feelings may differ from yours , as his protector.

Good luck to you both. One day he will laugh about it all. You? Maybe. Just know that you aren't the only mom out there to feel this way. It's our curse for loving our children!

I'm sorry this happened to your son. I know how shocking it is to see your child covered in blood!

This was also traumatic for you and I think it's just going to take time for you to process it and feel semi-normal again.

One good thing is that your son defended himself so the jerk he got into a fight with will probably move on. No easy victim here!

Hugs to you and your son. I know you are stressing with him back at school today. Just breathe and take it one hour at a time!

I was in a fight my freshman year in HS in a classroom. Honors English to be exact. another girl in my class who was a team mate of mine got upset about some rumors of things I had supposedly said (which I did not) and told me she was so mad she could "kick my @$$." She was a feisty chick but there was absolutely no way she could kick my... So my reaction was to chuckle (not on purpose) and she threw a punch at my face. I dodged it and she skimmed my ear, knocking my Oakleys on the ground. I threw a right followed by a left and knocked her to the ground and our teacher broke us up. It was over and my friend was bleeding. we were both suspended from school. We talked things over but it was never the same. The reason I tell you the whole story is my fight was actually rather stupid. But it had nothing to do with a pattern of my behavior, a patter of her behavior or a deeper routed problem. But you do have to get to the bottom of it and find out what the heck was going on. I was a good kid too and nothing like this ever happened again. Do you want this to continue? Have a sit down with your son and have him tell you the whole story. Try not to judge him or tell him what he should have done or whatever just listen. The story you tell, tells me that this was planned and your son could have possibly planned it or was trying to defend himself. Either way you do need it reported and your son will need to suffer the consequences. He showed up. On a side note my older brother planned a fight between his buddy and another guy and they video tapped it. It was in front of our house and my mom was home and inside and had no clue. So this stuff happens and is for real. many times it is stupid stuff of kids being dumb but at some schools their are like fight clubs where people do this for entertainment. If the varsity guys were there and didn't do anything it makes me think it was some kind of initiation. Talk to your son and figure out what happened.

Oh honey, that's awful :(

First, what's happening with the kid that did this to him? Was he arrested? What prompted it?

Second, how does your son feel about it? Is he scared? Did he fight back?

I can't imagine what you're feeling, and I can't imagine what my own poor mother used to go through... my brother and I used to fight ALL. THE. TIME... with each other, with other kids... we were a scrappy little bunch ;) We usually looked a whole lot worse than we felt. Because we did it waaaay too often, I don't think too much into when kids fight (kids carrying weapons, now, THAT scares me, but there's nothing wrong with a school yard scrap here and there).

Just know in your heart that he survived, this probably won't be the last time he ever gets in a fight, and know that he's tough, and clearly, he's got his mothers heart. I know it hurts seeing your 'baby' hurt. But he's okay mama, and you will be too :)

My heart is breaking for you. I completely understand the way you feel about him always being your baby, and being such a good boy. I can't imagine how you must have felt when you saw him; that is simply beyond imaginable.

Talk to your son and figure out how this all began. I hope he heals quickly, and that it goes well at school on Monday. ((hugs))

I'm sorry you had to go through this.... do you know who "started" the fight? Did you get a chance to talk to the police about it? Have charges been filed against the one that did the hitting? (Did your son defend himself, or what?)

Have you had a chance to talk to him and ask him how he felt about the whole thing? Not judgementally, but how he is dealing with it.....

I've not had to deal with fights like that... I have 3 girls and 1 boy, but yes, growing up years can be difficult......

I'm sorry, sweetie. I know you are so torn up, and I don't blame you. I can't imagine myself what it would be like to be in your shoes - it has never happened to my sons.

I am glad you added what happened because it was not clear in the beginning why he was in a fight. I think it might have helped the ladies to know that.

Is he still taking karate? If he is, I think that a talk with his instructor might be in order. He got beat up pretty bad, it sounds, considering that he knows how to defend himself. His instructor might be able to explain how to prevent rings from doing damage, in case there is a next time.

I think that after you are able to step back a little and listen to your son and find out exactly what transpired, you can decide better whether or not to file charges against the boy. You should talk to a lawyer about it as well as the police, to help you decide if it's worth him being 'cited'. (You should find out what happens if he is 'cited'.) The reason to consider it is that if the boy who hurt him is not punished, he'll most likely do it again.

Hugs, and I hope that his scars, physical and emotional, will heal soon. Yours too, honey~

Dawn

Sorry--but you DO need to report this.
And let the chips fall where they may.

I am so sorry that happened to your son and very sorry you had to see him like that. I have no advice, just prayers for you and your son and the rest of the family. Dip shits who give their negative, ignorant opionion actually think that others care what they say. Truth is, they are miserable and want others to be too. I only have a 2 year old and I know he will be my baby even when he is 50. I hope everything turns out ok. Just try to keep yourself busy to keep that terrifying image out of your head. Stay strong for your son because he needs that too mama ;)