Hand Gun Ownership

Personally, I don't have a problem with having a gun in the house as long as 1. All adults are properly trained in gun safety, including obtaining a hunter's safety and 2. The weapons are not accessible to children (ammo stored in a separate location) and whenever the guns are out (cleaning, shooting range, etc) children are taught gun safety.

Hi,

We own a loaded handgun in a fingerprint safe. Only my husband's fingerprint or mine will open it. I am totally for your husband getting a gun to protect your family, and for you to go to a shooting range and practice shooting it.

In England, guns are banned. So guess who has all the guns? The criminals! Don't even get me started . . .Your husband wants to protect you and I think you should honor that!

Marci

Firstly, I'm not particularly pro or anti gun. I've enjoyed target shooting but don't particularly see the need to own a gun...but to each his own.

However the argument of a gun in a home for 'protection' is flat out dumb. When you have a gun in the home for protection the thought is you keep it loaded and accessible at all times. Because if its not reachable, it does you no good. Home invasions happen so quickly that going upstairs/downstairs to a gun safe makes it all but impractical to use the gun for its intended purpose. Unless its on you, loaded, its useless.

To keep a loaded and readily available gun in the reach of small children is asking for them to 'play' with the gun and shoot themselves. Happens all the time. http://www.bradycampaign.org/issues/gunrisks/riskinhome/

Have your husband go through the gun safety classes offered through the state and maybe they can talk some sense into him. GL!

Hi S.,
I grew up around guns my entire childhood however the guns were always locked in a hidden closet in the house that only my parents had the combo. For a gun to be useful as a deterrent to crime it has to be readily available, this basically means your kids could find a way to get hold of it and that simply spells disaster.

Get a dog. I lived in LA for 17 years and have had my car stolen, my home broken into and held up at gun point, all at different times. After my home was broken into I spoke with all my neighbors on my block, I had only lived there for a year, everyone of my neighbors that did not have a dog had been robbed at some point, however, not one of my neighbors with a dog had ever been robbed. That was enough evidence for me that a dog is your best deterrent to a home invasion before it even begins, instead of waiting for an intruder that you have to shoot and hope it isn't one of your family by mistake.

I read some of the other responses and wish I had the program that showed kids that were 18 months to 7 years old put in a huge play room with trunks and boxes throughout full of every kind of toy you could think of. Some of the kids grew up with guns, had been shown them, were taught by the parents never to point them at themselves or someone else, to never play with them..., other children grew up with no guns in the house, told never to play with guns and why....

In this room a real gun was placed in the bottom of a toy box, many other play guns were about also, the amazing part to every parent of every child especially the boys, no matter their background teaching with guns was to watch their young children react to the real gun. The gun was discovered, shown to the others, every boy wanted to hold the gun, they pointed it at each other and pulled the trigger (the gun had been rendered useless of course), they pointed it at themselves, they lost all interest in the toy guns and any other toy they were playing with. It didn't matter that they had been taught not to play with guns, to respect guns... the fact is children that age do not understand mortality or cause and effect, they just have huge amounts of curiosity. The parents were truly aghast at how their children responded. The brain is about learning at that age, about discovery, hands on everything, there are large areas of our brains that do not work the same as they do as an adult, we expect them to understand things they are not yet capable of grasping.

I know alot of responses said your safety is more important and driving is more dangerous... I can tell you I ask my friends if they have guns in their home, if yes where, if they are not under lock and key my kids will not play there, if they are hunters and the guns are kept completely locked away then ok.

Good luck with your husband, stand your ground, have your kids take gun safety classes when they are old enough, have your husband go shoot at a shooting range for fun instead of in your home.
SarahMM

read"protecting the gift" by cavin DeBecker. . .he might think twice

S.,

Every one of these responses is excellent! My hubby has worked for firearms manufacturers for years and we own a collection. However, every one of our firearms is kept under lock and key and the ammo is kept under lock and key in a separate place. Our children have learned respect for firearms and how care for and maintain firearms and enjoy target shooting and hunting. The one time our 6th grader started 'gangsta' style shooting at the range, he lost his privileges for a month. My hubby fumed for days about that one. I personally have taken hunters safety and other firearm classes so I could be in the know, too, because I was not raised around firearms. I think you are right to be concerned because he wants it for "protection". Sounds like you have some serious decisions to make--you don't just run out and buy a gun to say you have one. Does he even intend to learn to shoot it and care for it properly? It is a waste of money to buy it and not take care of it....Good Luck!

I was where you are. I dont think that kids and guns mix, but I also think that the bigger problem is not what they can find in my home, but in the home of their friends. So first off, kids need to be taught what to do if they are out of your home and find a gun. But, as to your question, now is the best time from a political standpoint to get a gun. The new administration will try to limit our gun owning rights. That said, safty is the most important thing when bringing a gun into the home. Here is what we did. The first thing we bought was a safe. It is not a normal gun safe with combinations or keys because kids can get into those too easily in my book. We visited the international spy museum web site and bought a finger print safe from them that only opens with the fingerprints that we program into them. We have had our kids try to open it and they cant. So I know that they are safe, even if I am not around. We didnt bring the gun into the house until we had the safe. Then we bought the gun, and it is always in there. I live in a good neighborhood, simular to yours. We had a home invasion robbery a year ago a few streets away. People are getting desparate and you should protect your family even if you dont think you need it now, you may feel differently later. Good luck, and if you want more information, let me know.

I am also a gun household, and I really like the idea someone suggested about taking a class and then making a choice. I was always against them, then I met my husband who was a collector/hunter, he asked that I go out with him one day and reserve my judgement, I could do that, he taught me safty and let me watch. Then it was my turn, I was scared, but you know what...I loved it!

All of ours our kept in a gun safe, with the ammo kept seperate. My kids are raised with a healthy respect for guns and the damage they could cause, saftey is first and all of the ones old enough have taken a hunters safty course, even the ones who never plan to hunt.

Good luck, and good for you on trying to gather all the information out there.

This is a tricky one. It's like when one parent wants another baby and the other doesn't. There's not exactly a happy medium!

I am completely against guns in homes. Looking at the odds of an accident in your home vs the odds of using the gun as protection are ridiculous. There are thousands of accidents in the home every year, and most don't end well. Looks like there were some good websites to look at already, so hopefully those help.

We have a lot of friends and neighbors who are police officers, and more often than not, the POLICE recommend that private citizens don't have guns in their homes.

Maybe talk to your neighbors who are police officers and see what they say.

If you do end up getting one, just make sure to go overboard with safety.

My husband wanted to get a gun by I refused, and I sleep much better at night. After having met all of the cops that we know, he's ultimately glad we don't have one.

Good luck, and good job checking out all of your options.

Hi, I understand your concern for your childrens safety, but I also understand your husband's concern for the families safety. I have a hand gun and I feel much safer with it since I'm home all day with my 1 year old. Mine has a special lock on it so that even if it is loaded and the safety is off it won't shoot. I used to be very uncomfortable with guns too before my husband taught me the major safety of handling one. He also took me to a shooting range to get me comfortable using one. Even the safest neighborhoods have intruders and sometimes dogs or cop cars don't deter a thief. Also informing your children is a big must, though mine is not at the age to understand it, I will teach him. I would suggest going a gun store and talking to someone with your husband, and start getting comfortable with it unloaded first. Then if you decide to buy one I would go to a shooting range and get comfortable using it. The main reason that guns scare people is because they aren't informed or comfortable with them. There are safety classes you can take. All guns are a little different so I can't tell you about individual ones, but I can suggest a 22 caliber. It won't be too loud, and it will deter someone. Most likely in a situation you probably won't have to shoot, they should leave even if it's pointed at them. If you have any questions let me know, I hope I can help.

My husband has guns. I NEVER see them. They are in a fire proof safe in the basement, for safety. He travels a lot and takes ahand gun where he feels he needs to have protection. He had to take a special class to get a certificate to allow him to carry a gun. I highly recommend any class he is willing to take. The classes are very informitive. We have taught our children about gun safety and are confident that they would do the right thing in an unsafe situation. I used to be very anti - gun, but feel that with education, guns could be kept safely in a home with children, but ONLY if the proper precautions are made.

A.

Hi S.,
I too have been married for 6 years and i have a sweet little 6 month old boy.
As far as guns go, I am completely for gun ownership. I really enjoy going shooting with my husband and when our son is old enough, we will teach him all about gun safety and take him shooting as well. My husband and I own two hand guns and are planning on buying a shotgun for "home protection". My husband has his conceal & carry permit and I will get mine (hopefully soon). I think it is very important to have a really good (and child proof) gun safe for your guns. I think you should educate yourself, take a shooting class, learn to shoot, learn all there is to know about gun safety.
In my own opinion, locked doors, an alarm, even a dog, cannot protect you if someone is determined enough. Heaven forbid the time should ever arise when I or my husband (or even our children) will have to defend ourselves or each other using a gun, but just in case, I want us all to be prepared.
I hope I have helped. Feel free to ask any questions you may have.
Good luck,
R. M

What do I say? It is a hard question. It has many facets, and the responses are great here, showing you the whole spectrum, S..

I totally support that you need to take a course on how to use and care for firearms. Even if you two decide not to get it, it will bring you closer to your husband, he will see that you care, an strive to understand.

With little boys in the house, the thing needs to be LOCKED AT ALL TIMES, it IS a tool, not a fun stuff. When kids see video games and movies with people shooting, and dying on the screen, many kids do not define exactly that death is a PERMANENT thing, and you cannot reload the game, to become alive or to heal the human being. They do not define between the tomato sauce color paint in the movies and the real blood, and what pain is involved for the human who is actually forced to shoot and for the one who is being shot. Hence, we have cases of little kids shooting somebody down... :(
This is a very serious matter, the psychological side, and kids need to be educated to understand what this thing is, why, and what it's all about.

Three situations from my life experience:
1.
when we lived in the wilderness in the mountains, we had a gun that was taken apart and stashed while at home, and put together when used for hunting. My boys at the age of 4 and 6 were not allowed to even say "a gun" - I am a huge peace-person. So, even while playing, kids did not name it, but referring, they said "that thing in the towels" :) because it was wrapped in the towel and far away from their reach. When they grew older, they were taught the proper use, care, and RESPECT for the weapon. They knew it as a weapon, not even just as a tool.

2.
We had a friend, a policeman. He had a handgun on his hip in the holster. After his work shift, he dropped in for a moment, for a cup of tea. While sitting on the couch, he suddenly felt like showing my hubby his gun as he just got a new one. so, he pulls it out. three kids in the room at the moment, all mine. he pulls it out, and while turning the gun, IT SHOOTS out a bullet. about 4 inches past my daughter's head, it swirled into the wall and buried itself there.
This is a WELL trained guy who knows how to use firearms better than many of us! My advice: if the gun is unlocked, there are NO KIDS in the room, no matter how experienced and careful we are. JUST IN CASE.

3.
Right now, my kids are 25,23,18. Now only the youngest, my daughter, lives with me.
I have a handgun in the house, cleaned, cared for, LOADED and within my close reach at all times. for protection. How come? If the restraining order does not stop my ex- from haunting me once in a while, then after the fact of him almost killing my daughter (medically proven fact), this is the extreme I feel to have a need for. It's a long story, but it has to be a real extreme to have such a thing going on... And heck yeah, if there will be a need, i will sure use it, too - God forbid for the need to ever come, but i know what I'm saying, too.

Otherwise yes, it has to be locked, away from bullets, and definitely far away from kids, even AFTER they start taking lessons on how to use it - that, ONLY under the strict supervision of adults.

Serious decision, you need to be aware of all the sides, and talk to your husband about it. Maybe even show him this page on our Mamasource site...
Make the decision with care, love and trust: do not confront your husband, making it a psychological war (!!!), but let him know you do not think that this is nonsense for him to have: he is a guy, they have different set of mind, meet his feelings, and decide together!

And, always HAPPYBE!!!

Educate yourself and your husband, I believe their is a statistic that says a gun will most likely be used against you, also, statistically someone breaking in to your house when you are actually home is extremely rare. I personally would so never have a gun in my home. The media perpetuates fear in our society, we are bombarded with bad #@##@! 24/7, fear sells the papers and magazines etc. And finally, there was an incident recently where a young toddler boy was actually killed by a gun when a man shot at another man who was holding the child, he meant to shoot the man( in an insane domestic love trial no less) and the child died, if there was not a gun this would not have happend.

Seems to me like if you have a gun in your home but take the appropriate safety precautions, it's not even useful for the theoretical "intruder emergency" scenario. I am personally not comfortable with any decision made with fear as a motivating factor, and that always seems to be a big part of hand gun ownership discussions. I want to live defensively (lock doors, etc.) but not in fear. I worked as an editor at the obituary desk at a newspaper before I became a mom and I edited two too many obits for children killed in gun-related accidents. It's just not something I'd be comfortable with in my own home. . . it wouldn't make me feel safer, it would make me feel like my home was no longer safe for my family.
Many people I know do own guns, and I often ask "do you own a firearm and how is it stored?" before I allow my kids to play at someone else's home. The folks I respect are conscientious about safes and locks and also do not allow their children to play with toy guns at all, since they are instilling the attitude that guns are tools, not toys. This impresses me.
However, a gun is not a tool I want in my home. We've always has a loyal indoor family dog, and figure a warning from a dog would give us enough time to call proper authorities. Yeah, there are always anecdotes about heroic gun use and how a dog or other tool wouldn't have been useful enough, but weighing the odds of risk of injury with possibility of protection, I'll take the dog any day, personally.
Best wishes to you.

I know fo a great school. They have several really good hand gun corses. If you want to know more. Please feal free to email me. ____@____.com not fear it. That is how you teach your kids to fear them. That is when they get into trouble(when it is something to fear and agh). I can also tale you about a gun that has great safety features. I really like it, because it is hard for little hands to pull the trigger. Personaly we teach our kids about guns and gun saftey. They know they are not toys.

Before I say anything, I'm going to say that I know two families who have lost children due to accidental gun deaths. It was (and still is) absolutely devastating to everyone who was involved.

NOW-We have guns in our home. Our children have been taught since they were toddlers that guns are to be respected. Just the way they are taught that a stove can hurt them, or that the fireplace can hurt them, they are taught that guns can hurt them. They have been target shooting with us and they understand what guns are for and the damage they can do. I think part of your fear of having a gun stems from being unfamiliar with them.

One of the most ironic things to me is that people don't realize that it is more dangerous to drive your car and believe it or not even more dangerous to go to a hospital than it is to have a gun. You are actually more likely to die from a dr's mistake than from a gun! The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is .000188, the number of accidental deaths per physician is 0.171. Go figure. If you look up the numbers on death rates due to guns, you will see that there are very few actual accidental deaths due to guns. The last statistics I saw (and saved) are that roughly half of all households in the US own guns (roughly 45 million). Considering that there is often more than one gun owner in the house (for example both my husband and I own guns), it is estimated that there are roughly 80 million gun owners here. The most recent year I have statistics for reports that 3 percent of gun deaths were accidental or unintentional. That means that out of 34,000 deaths, 1000 of those were accidents. 80 MILLION guns and roughly a thousand deaths per year. Granted, that doesn't make even one of those deaths ok or easier, but look at the numbers; when you look at other accidental causes of deaths, You are looking at 43 THOUSAND in a car accidents, 15,000 due to a fall, 8600 by poisoning, 4000 by drowning, 3700 by burns or fires....it is almost 10 times as likely that your little guys would die due to something already in your home and used on a daily basis (poisoning by cleaning products/medications/vitamins), and even MORE likely than that that they would die from falling, than that they would be affected by a gun.

I live in a very safe neighborhood, and also have several officers within just a few blocks. I would never consider that enough to keep me safe. Ever. Even with the big dog. It really doesn't take much for someone who is determined to get past an alarm and a dog. Am I likely to ever need my gun? thankfully not. But especially in light of recent rumors regarding new gun legislation that is likely to be enacted in the near future, if I were you I would make sure that I am taking advantage of my fundamental rights of gun ownership. To me is seems really dumb to take make it harder for people to buy guns when they agree to background checks and waiting periods, while if a criminal wants a gun, it is MUCH easier to just buy one off the street, and always will be. If the economy really takes a massive dive and everything tanks, who knows where society in general will go? I realize that's a really dire prediction, but think of the relatively minor things that have sparked massive upheaval. (Katrina anyone?) If a criminal knew that your neighbor had a gun an you didn't, who would they be more likely to visit?
Granted, this all comes from a woman who is scheduling a group for a concealed carry class next month....

There is a saying that goes "When seconds count, the police are just minutes away." Think about that.

Hi S.,
It looks like everyone who has commented is pro gun and very experienced with having guns around. My comment is that having a hand gun in your home is strictly for shooting another person. This has nothing to do with hunting or sport. If you are choosing to use a gun for protection, make sure you and your husband take courses designed to teach you how to manage an altercation with another person. A hunter safety course will be useless.
Take care,
B.

My husband and I have often had this discussion. This year we finally came to an agreement. He bought a safe to keep the gun and ammo. in. It is a very nice and expensive sage. The only way the kids will be able to access it is if they get the keys. Which they will not know the location of. Also, the gun will have child safety locks that prevent the trigger from being pulled, also requires a key. Guns have always scared me. But my husband is a military man, and he likes to go shooting. keep in mind it is the person with the gun, not the gun itself, that is scary. The world is getting such that we could all use a little protection. Alarms and dogs are good, but often they serve as a warning device, not a protection device. Usually by the time they sound it is too late the intruder is already there. Plus, sometimes you need protection in more than just your home. I have worked in correctional facilities off and on for years. I know who and what is out there, I know what they are capable of, and I know how and where they do it. Think of a compromise. Maybe if he is wiling to get a nice, sturdy fireproof safe to keep it in. Hide the keys from the kids, hide the safe from the kids. Get a childproof lock for it, I think you might be able to get one for very little from the police department. Make sure you talk to your kids about the dangers of real guns and the dos and don'ts, just to be safe. And you can even tell your husband not to get it out around the kids if you want. I let my husband use his tohelp in the teaching of dos and don'ts, and it is only out for maybe a minute or two.

As a woman who enjoys hunting and shooting, I personally do not think guns are bad. However, just because you own a gun, doesn't often mean you know how to use or respect a gun. These are very dangerous in untrained hands and especially when you add a stressful situation. One piece of advice I can offer you is that while taking a hunter safety course, the trainer said to the class that if anyone was there in order to get a licence for home security, a hand gun was not the weapon to choose. The weapon of choice is a pump action shotgun. Think about it - it is most likely dark, you are nervous/scared/etc. and you want to hit a relatively small target with a single bullet. The instructor stated that when a criminal just hears the sliding action of a pump action shotgun, they are most likely running out of the house as fast as they come in. The spray patter is much bigger so you don't have to have an exact aim and a few pellets will still inflict some harm. Also, children are less likely able to sneak a shotgun out of the house due to the size and don't have as much of an appeal to children. Anyway, hope this helps, but if you do decide to get something - make sure you both take lessons on how to use it. All the best!

I have no problems with it as I grew up with firearms in the household, as did my husband. We were taught respect and had the curiosity taken away by being allowed to shoot when we were older. We are also both from military households, own handguns for ourselves, and have a few hunting rifles.

Safe, well lit neighborhoods, alarm systems, and cops as neighbors really aren't any kind of deterrent for those who wish to burglarize a home. And if you happen to be home if someone breaks in, they aren't just going to leave. You stand a huge chance getting hurt...or worse. With a gun you at least can make the attempt at protecting your family. Tough to swallow...believe me, I know.

That said, there are a few things that need be taken into account as a firearm owner:

1) Proper training. This isn't just how to handle the gun, but how clean it and store it, and what the most appropriate ammunition is for your needs. It makes a world of difference and can definitely help with your fear.

2) Proper storage. It may not need to be in a gun safe away from all eyes, but it should at least have a trigger lock (not the safety, an actual lock) on at all times when not in use. The training will also address this fact.

3) Make sure your kids know about it and that it is NOT for them to touch. Answer their questions, though, and don't be tactful with them. When you're discreet, they want to know why and will search out the answer on their own. When they're old enough (and only you, the parents, can judge by their maturity level), allow them to take a training course and be allowed to shoot.

Whatever decision you and your husband make, it WILL be the right one for your family. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. It's personal, and you're doing a great thing by gathering information. I commend you :)

Hi S.,

http://profire.us/ is a great organization to help train you how to use a firearm correctly if you choose to go that route. There is no need to fear a firearm when you and your husband are trained how to use it properly. I think our 2nd Amendment right is very important to uphold and if you choose to purchase a firearm, make sure you do your research. I would not hesitate to use ours if my family were being threatened because there is truly no "safe" neighborhood. Good luck in your decision making process!

Hi S., not to freak you out but you should be more afraid of getting in your car and driving then being a gun owner. Responsible gun owners know everything about their weapons. IE: How to shoot, store, train, clean, use in self defense, recreation etc. It would be vital for you to do some research and maybe both you and your husband can take a course together. There are many good gun courses out there that would help increase your knowledge of gun handling. The NRA puts out a lot of good info so I would recommend checking out their website. They can put you in touch with local organizations that educate you in gun safety etc. It is very important that you are an educated gun owner and that you and your husband are in agreement with this decision. We have two little people (2 & 4) also so I can attest to your concerns. But again I will repeat myself by saying you and hubby need to be educated/informed so that you are no longer afraid or intimidated by this decision. Living in a good neighborhood is helpful but will all that really "be there" when you need it in a split second? There is absolutely no reason to fear owning/using a gun if you've had the proper training. Best Wishes, L.

First off, guns are not "Bad". neither are baseball bats or knives or hands for that matter. It's how the hands holding them that decides to what purpose they will be put to.
If you are that nervous about a gun, why don't you suggest that you and your hubby take some handgun courses. There are quite a few states that require you to be certified before you can even purchase a handgun. your kids are NOT too young to learn basic safety rules concerning guns either. All 3 of my boys spent a lot of time with myself & my hubby teaching them proper respect, and usage as well as teaching them the difference between a tool and a toy. Guns are Tools, to be used to harvest game, to remove dangerous varmints, and for protection. If I were you, I would sit down and do some soul searching. Why exactly are you nervous around guns? Instead of emotionally atacking and forbidding the gun issue, sit down and have a rational talk with hubby about the pro's and con's.
I grew up around guns, and I now own 3 myself. As a hunter AND a mother, I have made sure my kids respect them as a tool, period. When treated poorly and with out respect any tool can cause injury or death.
Insist (rationally and camly) that you & hubby BOTH take some gun safety courses, it will help conquer your nervousness, and you will also find out how competent your hubby is as well as making both of your more confident and competent.

I grew up with guns in the house - both handguns and rifles/shotguns - and I feel that teaching children to be respectful of firearms is far better than being fearful. Yes, guns can be dangerous - but so can knives and matches. My father eliminated the element of curiosity by teaching us about them and teaching us to shoot them as children (always extremely supervised!). However you need to be smart about them - if you are scared of them and do now know how to use them, you'll only end up hurting yourself or a loved one. Your husband (and YOU!) need to take firearm training/safety classes and you need to have the proper safe place to store it. The children need to be shown the gun and explained what it is and what it can do. The worst thing would be for them to "discover" it while playing in a closet and try to figure out what it is and what it does. Overcome your fear and develop a healthy respect instead.