So one of the responses to my last question made me laugh out loud (thanks Mechanic Mama) and I need more laughs! What are your crazy "this should be in a movie" moments. Like that episode of Frasier (sorry I'm a geek) where Niles is ironing his pants, spills something on the couch, cuts his finger, faints because he sees the blood, wakes up, his pants are on fire, the couch is on fire . . . he's running around in his underwear, faints again, etc, etc.
Mine was just this last week. We got the entire interior of our house painted and stayed at my mom's for a couple days with our baby and three dogs. we go downstairs to go to bed, absolutely exhausted. I get into bed and nurse the baby. I notice one of our dogs is sniffing around on the floor so I call my husband over to check it out. she starts puking (he steps in part of it, starts cussing, picks up the dog to put her in the bathroom. goes upstairs to get paper towels. the other two dogs hear the door open when he returns (they are on edge because we're in a strange place) and go crazy barking. this wakes up the baby that had just fallen asleep of course, and he starts wailing. My husband continues to yell at the dogs, my parents are upstairs calling down to see what's going on . . . I pick up baby to see if I can nurse him back to sleep, set him down beside me and notice it's wet. guess what? dog pee! my hand is all wet, the baby is sitting in it... had to change the baby, and the sheets... we finally get back into bed, the lights are out . . . everyone is asleep . . . and out of nowhere the dog flips out and starts growling very seriously at something. My heart stops as it sounds like a growl like there's someone standing over the bed, I turn over and see her on the ground staring up at a floating head which scares the *&^% out of me because it's lit up and it;s mostly dark. I jerk my husband awake, he leaps out of bed, ready to fight someone. All three dogs barking - start attacking each other . . . Turns on the light and it's a sculpture. A bust sitting on top of the piano, lit up from beneath from a night light looking all demonic. . . And baby wakes up and starts screaming again....
LMAO ~ thanks for the laugh - wish I had a funny moment to share with you, but I can't think of any right now.....
ETA:
@Inmy30'salready......OMG - I am laughing so hard I am crying! That is so funny ~ I could totally see my husband doing the same thing, that is probably why it is so funny to me ~
This is the story of me and my husbands funniest moment, thus far and it's a good one...that totally belongs in a movie or a book:
We occasionally like to pull our mattress into the living room (sliding the huge thick wooden coffee table off to the side) in front of the fireplace and watch movies ~ ~ think cheap date night...
We fall asleep.
I have a nightmare. I start screaming as loud as I can in my dream. I sit bolt upright screaming at the top of my lungs. ~ ~ I still to this day have no idea what I was dreaming or screaming about, but it was scary!
I think husband's combat training kicks in. He jumps straight up into a standing position from sleeping position. One fluid motion, he is so fast, he is up and off to side...he comes crashing straight down onto the coffee table, it explodes into a million pieces and he doesn't even notice. There is husband, in ONLY his boxer briefs.... Arms out in front of him in a strange 'Come and get me stance' and he jumps in a full circle, stopping to look and say 'what' in all 4 directions! He is searching for what is making me scream...
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
We still laugh about this to this day!
It was....surreal, to say the least!
My brother and his wife came to visit. They brought their little dog, A papillon, yappy little thing. We had a cat. (can you see this coming?)
We let them have our bedroom and bath to themselves and they had a crate for the dog at night. All is well, we had nice air mattresses in the living room for us and we all went to bed. We let the cat in for the night after my brother and wife shut the bedroom door and went to bed. About 10 minutes later, the dog needed to go out. My brother, thinking we are all sleeping and not knowing the cat is back inside, came out of the bedroom with no leash on the dog. Well, it might as well have been a world war in the kitchen when the cat met the dog. Snarling, hissing, barking, fur flying, my brother yelling at the dog, screaming at the cat, up jumps my husband, chasing and grabbing the snarling, scratching, hissing cat, heads to the garage to toss him out, dog snapping at his heels, barking, peeing on the floor, brother trying to grab him, gets bit, Im up, opening the door to the garage, trying to stay out of the way. Just then sister in law comes running out to see what happend, screaming, in her not so long night gown showing much more than I want to see of a 200 pound woman and my husband comes back in from the garage, blood on his belly and running down both arms from scratches, not wearing his glasses in the rush of it all, squinting, (hes got beady little eyes to start with), swearing like a sailor,,, in his underware! sister in law screamed again, turned and ran down the hall back to the bedroom. Husband just stood there swearing, washing his blood off in the kitchen sink. My brother and I sat on the couch and laughed. It doesnt get any better than this..lol
Oh my goodness! I'm sure it wasn't funny to you at the time it was all happening, but that's hillarious. Thanks for the laugh :)
My moment was when hubby and I went on a cruise several years ago. We were so excited because it was our first big/adult vacation together. We had never taken a honeymoon and had been married for almost 2 years when we went. We live in Florida and had to drive to the port in Tampa. It was supposed to be a 5 day cruise to Grand Cayman and Cozumel, Mexico. When we got there we found out there was a delay because the anchor had gotten caught on the propeller on the previous cruise. We were then informed that we would be skipping Grand Cayman altogether and going to Key West instead and we would be issued a combined credit of $50 to our account to spend on board the ship. Woo hoo!!! We live in Florida and we can drive to Key West ourselves. When we complained about this we were very rudely asked if we just wanted to cancel our trip. The ship was very late getting into port and that meant that they didn’t have time to restock food and clean everything (this is why we had to go to Key West – to restock food and supplies). We were scheduled to leave the port early afternoon but it ended up being late in the evening before we left. We couldn’t even go to our rooms or get to our luggage until pretty late. I get carsick easily and was concerned about getting seasick so I got some patches from my doctor and put one behind my ear on the first day (more about this later). When we got to Key West we couldn’t even find a beach so we couldn’t get down to the water. After we left Key West we were headed to Cozumel but since we were completely off schedule we were going to arrive too soon so the ship started doing “maneuvers” in the ocean to stall. This pretty much consisted of going around in circles, which made the ship rock quite a bit. Sometime around this time I took off the original patch I had put behind my ear and put another one on because I was worried it might wear off. I really started to feel the effects of the patch a little while after I switched it and ended up getting blurred vision, started bumping into things and generally felt like I was drunk even though I wasn’t. My vision was so bad that I couldn’t even put makeup on without poking myself in the eye and I couldn’t read the menus at meal times either. This would not have been good on its own, let alone the “maneuvers” the ship was doing. All of the “maneuvers” we did ended up being a waste because the captain had a heart attack and we had to dock early so they could fly him to a hospital in Miami. We also brought a digital alarm clock so we would know what time it was since we had an inside stateroom and each time we came back to our room it was unplugged and we had to reset it. I guess our cabin steward thought we didn't need to keep track of the time. To top it all off, most of the public restrooms on the ship were blocked off and closed because the plumbing was backing up and there was water all over the floors. Nice! That was almost 11 years ago and I have not had an urge to go on a cruise since then and if I ever do go on another cruise it won't be Carnival.
My two-year-old is afraid of the dark and is potty training. The other night we thought the kids were all asleep, when we heard, "Daddy, daddy, daddy!" I went to see what was wrong, and he looked at me with big sleepy eyes and said, "I need to go potty." So we went.
First we had to roar like dinosaurs to scare the monsters out of the bathroom. Then he had to take off every stitch of clothing he had on so it wouldn't get wet. Meanwhile, I really just want to get back to my comfortable bed.
Finally, he was ready. Now picture this: a small body with a large tummy. He can't quite see over his tummy to know where his pee-pee is pointing, so he leans his legs against the toilet, bends back as far as he can, and goes. Perfect arc, everything is right with the world. Then I thought, "He looks like Larry the Cable guy." Then two-year-old yawned, stretched, and started scratching his head while going. I have never seen anything so funny!
Thank you for sharing that! Gave me a good laugh which I needed. What an eventful night for ya'll. I don't have a funny story to share at this moment though. I just wanted to say thanks!!
Glad I could help!!! : )
Let me see if I can remember of another 'good grief help me' moment...
Ok. One from my ex to start... I still laugh about it. For a quick backround, my ex suffered from Night Terrors (generally stemming from being overtired when he came to bed). So, there were plenty of 'heart attack' moments with him jumping out of bed screaming and swinging at invisible people. Or getting slapped in my sleep because, "There's a spider in the bread." Many instances like those... But ONE story in particular is a laugh riot....
I wake up to him yelling, "What the f***? ____@____.com it!!!" I started laughing immediately. I asked, "You wet the bed didnt you?" LMAO!!! He did. He was MAAAAAAADDDD. So, as I'm giggling, I strip the bed, take the sheets downstairs, bring the Borax upstairs to put over the wetspot and duct tape a towel over the Borax. Then I went to the bathroom... When I came back into the room, I said in a super calm and serious voice, "See that's what big girls and boys do... They go pee on the potty." I laughed at my own joke for at least another hour!
Here's one about my daughter (now 8, but 6 at the time)...
6:15am - Husband and I are driving the kids to the sitters. My daughter says, "Um... Mom... Um... Mom, how come the cat craps on the floor sometimes?" Husband and I were laughing so hard we were crying. We have NO IDEA where that came from.
One about my son (3 on the 31st)...
This one is pretty recent. He's a 'flirt and fondler'. Most women we know already know the possibility of getting groped by our little man. We were at a bday party for my nephew and my nephew's g-ma was playing with him. I casually mentioned that she might feel a little hand if she's not careful. She laughed it off... She was wearing a semi-low cut top. Not a moment after she laughed it off... She hollers, "He just grabbed my boob!" I warned her!! And her daughter in law says, "Oh yeah... He's done that to me plenty of times."
Hell, if I'm changing and he barges in, he'll giggle, say, "I want boobs." And then go to trying anyway he can to grab. Ah... My little perverted boy.
One about my husband and I... Ok, two quick ones...
The first time my husband kissed me, I asked for a bucket. I had a ton to drink that night and he even held my hair!
Another one had us laughing for a long time. We felt like a couple of 5yr olds during a sleepover giggling for hours. Our neighborhood is full of Polish folk and right after a local Polish festival at the church down the street, the came back and were partying it up. They were playing trumpets, drinking beer, and generally having a good time. We didn't have central air yet so we had our windows open and our heads are right next to the windows. Right after a song played on the trumpet, I let a REALLY good fart rip. Sounded a whole lot like that trumpet! My husband giggled and then ripped one himself. So it was us 'playing' our 'butt trumpets' and the neighbors playing real trumpets. Funniest moment ever.
lol HMM! Thanks for the chuckle!
All I can do is howl with laughter! I have NOTHING that tops that!
But, here is one.
This was with my first husband.
As a preliminary, I should note that there is NO ONE on this planet who hates spiders more than he does.
The first incident: He walks into the house through the front door, looks down, picks up a large planter with an aloe vera plant in it, tosses it into the middle of the living room rug, and jumps up and down on the plant and dirt screaming, "It won't die! It won't die!" Baffled, our son and I asked him what the aloe vera plant had done to deserve execution in this manner, particularly since it was most certainly dead at that point - not to mention the rug! He pointed at a small object in the dirt. Our son pointed out that it was a black plastic spider ring that he had gotten for Halloween.
The second incident followed several days later. My former husband walked into the kitchen area of our great room and came up behind me. He immediately jumped backward, pointing his finger, and shouting "Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!" I asked what the problem was. He pointed and said "Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!" I looked and saw a very, very large tarantula spider on the counter which had just emerged from between two cannisters. Apparently, he saw it, thought it was a plastic spider (see first incident), and was going to shove it in my face to scare me.
He demanded a fly swatter. I immediately produced one. Halfway through his swing, it dawned on him that the swatter had a reach of 18 inches and the spider had a jump range of about 6 feet. He flung the swatter on the floor and stormed out of the kitchen.
He reemerged from the back of the house seconds later with a BB gun. He took aim and blam, blam, blam, fired 3 BBs at the spider. The spider dissolved into a pile of green goo, while the refrigerator still shows the 3 BB marks.
I had been calm up until that point. Then I began to jump up and down and scream.
We still laugh about this. Talk about insanity.
Did I mention that he WOULD NOT go see the movie "Arachnophobia."
