Family Doesn't Understand That I'm to Busy Right Now to Help Them.

You say "Oh, I would love to but I can't right now". or "how nice of you to think of me, but I'm not able to make that date"

If they ask why you say "I'm really sorry I just can't"

The reality is..... NOTHING you say will be a "good enough" excuse. because they want you to do what they want.

I think that the next time they ask you to do something, quote them $250. Let their eyeballs fall out. Then tell them "Please find someone else. When I am ready to do this as a business, I will let you know. Then I'll give you the family rate, which will be $120." That lets them know point blank that you don't want to, and that you won't do it for free.

There is no way out of this if you don't stand up to them.

Dawn

Unless they are willing to babysit for the hours it would take y9ou to bake, they are SOL..

I used to cater until our daughter got to a certain age and then I just could not do that any longer, for the same reason you cannot bake. It takes all of your resources to bake and have it come out to your standards.

$120. was an excellent price. Never lower your prices you know how much it costs for your supplies and your time.

Later you will be able to go back to doing this, but do not feel pressured by anyone.

Looks like telling them you are too busy with little one's was too nebulous for them. Try something really specific like, "I'm not going to pursue my cake business until the baby is two years old, but I really appreciate you trying to send business my way."

I'm thinking they are all about the deal.

I bet you make beautiful cakes and baked items and your baked goods probably have that wonderful homemade tastiness, and your MIL and SIL are out and about offering your phenomenal products for the family rate to others. They are doing this for themselves and their popularity, and not for your benefit.

You are right to feel that your own family is not respecting your 'no.' I suggest you practice in front of the mirror some of the great responses already provided below. Practice saying it nicely, but just keep saying it over and over. There is no one magic time for people like this who want things there way.

The only offer I personally might consider is one where they offered to drive the 40 minutes out to your place and watch your sweet girls for free the entire time you shopped and baked. And could they possibly throw in a free delivery, since they are driving back that way?

GL!

I've had the same thing happen with a couple of my friends.

Here's what I started doing. Friend/family calls and asks for cake. Give them a reasonable price (like your $120 for the lady bug cake/cake pops). When the family member, or whoever, balks at the price tell them to call a local bakery and ask for a quote on the cake they're asking. When they quote double the price you quoted, then they'll call back and say your price is reasonable, and tell you when you can do it. Let them know they can pick it up on X day, because that would be most convenient for you. If they say they want you to deliver it on X day...then tell them that this will cost an extra $XX to deliver it all.

If they agree with all of that, then find a time to make it because you're helping the family by bringing in extra money. Just think of it like this: that money, even though it takes time, will help you buy diapers, or toys and things for the kids. Or you can buy yourself a new outfit.

If you're against it completely, then just tell them you're not doing that anymore. If they ask for an explanation, tell them you're not passionate about it right now.

Good luck hon!

Don't let your mind jumble and mis-interpret what they think... be confident in yourself, because YOU know what you do all day and YOU also know your priorities and limits. Don't worry about what they think... don't be offended by their suggestions and such. I'm in a similar situation... kinda of. I'm a painter. I've painted entire rooms as murals and also paintings on canvas. I'm a SAHM of four girls. The only time I've found actual time to do anything like that at all is after I put them to bed... but I'm exhausted by then, and also I need to be in my "artistic mood" as well to do painting jobs. There are so many unfinished paintings in my house. It is sad. I ALSO have really gotten into baking recently myself and doing really cool cakes (haven't tried the pops yet), THAT is actually my current "escape".... an excuse, actually. I find doing cakes therapeutic...

Anyways, I just wanna say that I GET what you are saying, but try not to read too far into it all (in reference to what your family is saying). This stage in your life will really go by SO fast, so just enjoy yourself to your best ability... use any free time (IF you have any) to write down some ideas for your plan with cakes when you DO get the time in a couple years or so... Pin things on pinterest, draw some ideas for cakes, and make a business plan.. do research, get some library books on starting a business.... ETC. I'm saying that because when you are a SAHM that additionally doesn't get much time to themselves, you can EASILY get discouraged about how the future looks for YOU and YOUR passions (is this something in the back of your mind? Is this partly bugging you?), so if you know you will eventually get there and are working towards it in SOME way... it can be a morale boost for sure!

I LOVE being a SAHM... I DO get discouraged a lot, though because I don't go out and do something solely for me or do something towards my passion... but I HAVE found that those little things that get you excited about what can be in store for you really make all the difference... not to mention the piece of mind you have daily that YOU are the one with your children all the time and YOU should feel happy and proud of that! :)

Wow, you are just NOT available, are you? ;)

Lady, if I had that much on my hands, I would be unavailable too. I am 100% certain that your MIL and SIL have plenty of time to find someone closer to them to do this work.

If it were me, I'd ask my husband to talk to them. "You know, Meklya really is hopping these days. I can't believe all that she's doing to keep our family happy, especially when she's home because I've got the car and am gone most of the day. She said she had to turn down some cake jobs for you... I know she loves to bake too. I'm sure she'll be glad when she finds time to do that again. Did you find a good bakery in your area?..."

OR, if you really want to do the jobs, tell them that you will do the work for the cost of supplies and the cost of the childcare you will need (and get good childcare!) , and then THEY need to come and get the finished product!

I would say "Sure, but in order for me to do so I am going to need for you to watch the girls while I bake and deliver and lend me your car to deliver the cakes. Will that work for you?" If they say yes, then great! Take a few small jobs. If they say no, then I think you will have made your point!

I think that your husband should be the next one to speak up. This is his family after all. Something like "hey it's really flattering that you keep thinking of sending business M.'s way but honestly, the kitchen is closed until further notice. She's not taking any work right now. If she ever does decide to open up the kitchen for baking business again when the kids are older you'll be the first to know but we don't want you to be in the awkward position of recommending her to people you know and then having to have her say no. So thanks, but really...she's not in business."

IMHO it's fine for them to ask, but once you make it clear that you don't have the time or the inclination - then they need to back off.

I would be so embarrassed to hound a family member that way.

well, i get that they are annoying you. but if you've given them a price, you haven't actually said NO, have you?
they sound obnoxious and intrusive and i get your frustration. but it also sounds as if you are sending out mixed messages.
if the issue is that they want free/cheap stuff, give them a good price, fair but also one that will make you spending your very limited, valuable time on it worthwhile. they can check with a bakery if they think you're out of line. don't do it for free. don't do it for cheap. if you're going to do it, get paid.
but if you don't want to do it, period, it's up to you to make that very clear. it's GOOD that they flat out ask why. flat out tell them. don't make a gazillion excuses, don't give them reasons and rationalizations.
tell them no. politely and with love.
'i'm thrilled that you love my baking so much. but i'm afraid i can't. maybe when the girls are in school. i will surely let you know.'
period.
the end.
khairete
S.

Sounds like they want to help their friend/relative get a cake and they really like and respect your work so be flattered!

Most people are looking for a deal. So when your MIL and SIL bring it up to their friends/relatives they are probably making it sound like they could get a deal.

We get it too. My husband is always being asked to give "deals" to his families' friends. If he does things for a reduced price, that means we make less money because he could be working with a client that pays the full price. Taking on family and friends for less money only hurts us but people don't understand it.

So next time your SIL or MIL asks you for a price, just say "I regret to tell you that I'm no longer doing cakes/cake pops as a business so I can't give you a price." Quoting a high price will just make you look like a jerk. If you tell them enough times, they will stop spreading it around.

But be flattered that they think so much of your work that they are bragging about you!

Well first of all they seem not able to themselves in your shoes. I bet your sil doesnt have any kids yet? First its a compliment they like your baking creations but it sounds like they want they want and there is no pacifying them. It sounds like they enjoy spending time with you...which is also a good thing. Family is a good thing its good to have the love but they sound a bit asborded in only how it effects them.
I would tell flat out as of this time you cant make any cakes for them. If they want it have a price breakdown. Flour, sugar, tiers, etc. Maybe if they a visual sheet in front they will understand. I would say thank you for thinking of me thats a nice compliment.
I would try together 1 time a month. A play date in the park or a simple picnic. Its nice to have people that want to be part of your life. One thing I believe is imperative is think out your words carefully. Say it once. We loose ground if its said mult times. Do not repeat yourself. Say it a respectful tone be gracious. If they repeated it mult times back just politely hold your ground. Smile dont be rude. Dint say anything else.
My husbands family family never cared much about getting together with us. Now his parents are much older then mine. They really loved my kids had to me hardly any interest in vising. Now my fil passed away in Nov. My mil has cancer and its gone to her brain. I wish so much my kids had stronger memories of these set of grandparents. His brother and his wife. Are very nice people but although they are only 20 min away. We see them really just at holidays. I have tried continously for years and never stop making an effort. I am busy with own family and I dont mind getting together but its hard when there is next to no interest. My kids are polite. Easy to have over. Well here is my opinion. Dont cut them off but they need to more considerate of you.

You're a SAHM who MADE themed cakes - you haven't done it for at least a year.
You are on indefinite sabbatical at the moment (and making a birthday cake for your own kids is something any mother would do - it's practice, it keeps your hand in at it, but it's not business related).
I hate it when you tell people 'No' and they just refuse to believe you.
They ask, you give an answer and it's like the hearing aid is turned off and they never heard you.
It's disrespectful - and they are having no qualms about offending you.
Start asking them what they have against stay at home Mom's.
Start asking them what THEY are doing that they are so busy that they can't bake their own cakes.
If questioning your choices is not suppose to be offensive, then questioning their choices should also not be offensive.
If and when you want to start your business, you'll let them know, set up a web site and start handing out business cards.
For right now, they can either bake their own cakes or you can refer them to someone else in the business.

I LOVE the idea of saying "ok but I need you to watch the kids while I do it". Not only is it kind of hilarious, but it would definitely get your point across. I think older people with grown children forget how hard watching two small children is and those without truly don't know how go go go go it is. (I have 2.5 year old twins). If you want to pursue this at some point, this might way to get your business out there OR get your family off your back until you are ready to do so.

I do cakes and stuff for my family and close friends. It started taking off but I always set my minimum. Which for me is $65. no matter how small the order is i charge $65.00, which is what I feel my time is worth to be away from my family and preoccupied with baking and decorating. I have a 2 year old and a newborn and I wont make cakes again for sale until the baby is at least 2.
Good luck stand your ground. Family is more important than money and they are only babies once! :)

Tell them you are busy and look up alternative places for them to get cakes.

Here's the thing. Family expects other family members to do stuff for free for each other, they're family.

The thing is, the Why they keep asking, is that you are not running a business. You just make cool cakes for your kids and occasionally for someone else. It's a hobby. You don't charge family for a hobby you do, you do it for them as the gift.

Once you get the business going you can charge them but until then it's hard for anyone to understand, it's not a business yet. So they don't feel odd for asking about you doing the cakes for free.