Engaging

I used to have a schedule, but that went out the window with my 3rd son. I like to do crafty things with my boys. When my youngest was still a baby, my older sons "helped" me with him. They got me diapers, put the used diapers in the trash, brought toys, blankets. I also gave them small chores, nothing too big. Like feeding the cat dry food, putting up their plates after meal, throwing stuff away & cleaning up one set of toys before getting another set out. I also have little "worksheets" and we play school. You don't need a set schedule, just write out a number of things to do that day. I try to be flexible going on from one task to another when I can. This age, my boys were real big helpers. They loved putting the clothes in the washer and dryer. I try to remember to give some free time even now and again. HTH.

You have received some wonderful advice...some I will use too! When my older two girls were around 3 one of their favorite things to do that kept them busy was a self-made alphabet book. I would give them (age appropriate) scissors, a glue stick, a "book" made out of plain white paper I stapled together and some old magazines. I put each letter of the alphabet on each page and then they had to go through the magazines and find pictures starting with each letter, cut it out, and glue it to the book. This would sometimes keep them busy for hours, but they are girls and girls tend to sit still longer :) Just an idea...hope it helps!

Get him a preschool activity book that he can do at home with you. They have them at Walmart and even Dollar General. Make him have some structured time to do his book, play outside, nap, watch a movie, etc. That way he won't get bored and trash the house.
AND you don't need to pick up after him, he is old enough to pick up his own mess. Of course, you might have to stand or sit with him to encourage him to keep going, but he can do it.

My 2 are about the same ages as yours. What helped me was creating a sleep schedule for my little one. Up at 7 each day. If he wakes up before then, I leave him in there and he plays/entertains himself. Naptime is 9, and I leave him in there for at least 1 hour if he does not go to sleep; if he falls asleep, I let him stay until 11. Lunch time at 11:30. Nap between 12:30-1 because I want him to play out some energy and get sleepy. Sleep between 1-2 hours again and up by 3 until 7:30-8pm bedtime.

For my older one, I set up a specific play area that I expect her to pick up throughout the day. I do help her, but she does the bulk of the clean-up as she did most of the mess-up. We make a game of it and sing a clean-up song each time. This helps her be responsible and allows me to not spend all my Free Time cleaning up after her. I also have a free coloring time, outside play time, and she does still take a nap (same afternoon time as little one). I would check with the preschool to see if there are any supplemental activities that they suggest, i.e. letter regonition, counting excerises, etc. I work w/ my daughter on letter sounds using the tune from "Are You Sleeping" and found that my younger one is picking up on the rhythm of the song along w/ us. Depending on what you have available in your education fund you may want to check out the Animal Friends Flashcards from A Beka Book (abeka.org). Visual aids help immensely in learning. I also use pudding or cool whip for drawing our letters and numbers or "art" in like finger painting.

For activities, we go to the local park w/ an activity center, the pool (when Daddy is available), walk around the neighborhood, play in the backyard. bathtime. You have 2 little boys, and I know that there is much more energy to expend than I have in my little girl, so encourage outdoor play, especially with the weather trying to cool off or in the mornings or evenings.

I agree that kids need structure, or they'll go wild with what to do! I was a preschool teacher for 3 + years, and am looking forward to having kids in my home soon - because I miss being around little ones so much.

Anyway, I think that an awesome idea would be for you to ask for copies of the schedule/lesson plans from the preschool class that your 3 year old is in (and you could get one for infants/1 y.o. for your 9 month old). Then pick out the activities of the day that your son isn't there to participate in, and try them out at home.

Or let me tell you what I did when I stayed home with my daughter when she was 3: every morning we'd eat breakfast outside picnic style; then she'd play and help me garden; we'd go inside for her bath; then we'd have "circle" time - sing / dance to the wiggles / play with magnets / puzzles / bubble machine etc; after that it would be lunch time, and she'd help me make it. Then we'd read a story and take a nap. When she woke up we'd eat a snack and then do an art project (there's TONS of ideas online). Afternoons were free-time while I cleaned the house, she could watch her favorite movie, play table toys, dress-up, etc.
OMG - this all makes me miss those good old days! :(
Hope this gives you some ideas,
-A.

My two oldest sons are just a little less than 16 months apart. There is a pretty wide gap between what entertains an almost three year old and what entertains a baby. You will need to physically assist the little guy with any "activities" as you don't have too many options for interactive play between them yet. The older one can help with food prep and feedings - for brother and himself. There are lots of possibilities you can introduce if you want to play with both of them together so that when they are a little older they will know how to play together (blocks, sand box, finger paint, play-doh, arts/crafts, etc.). It all involves being organized and should include cleanup in the activity - good habits to start teaching them young. I found that my boys were in constant competition with each other after the younger one was old enough to be mobile and cognizant - always wanting whatever big brother had or did which annoyed the older one because he wanted to do his own thing and not be copied. He didn't understand that his brother looked up to him and just figured if brother did something it was a good thing for him to do too. Encourage them to do what they individually like especially if it's different from one another. Teach them now to be good to each other and they will be each others lifelong best friend. My older boys are in their 20s now and my youngest in 7th grade. They are completely different in a lot of ways but there are still some things they have in common - like playing music and the sports they enjoy doing (snowboarding, trail biking, camping and hiking) - they have totally different career paths but are both very environmentally conscious and working to make the world a better place. So enjoy your time with them, encourage them to play together, but also to have their own interests and alone time. They need to be individuals and appreciated for who they are personally or there may be an attention issue where one starts to act up because he feels like the other is getting it all. The key is balance - getting it and keeping it. Good luck.

I also worry about this free time at home. I just go on "field trips" almost every day. Check out local libraries for free things. Do you live in ABQ? Check out the Rio Rancho libraries, they have cool stuff going on all the time. Walks or a little drive to the park are nice free adventures too. Community centers like Taylor Ranch have stuff going on for small fees. Try breaking out the CD player and dance! You can borrow CDs from the library if you get bored of the ones you have. My daughter loves art projects, get a little table and set up materials on there to play at will. It's a great way to sit down with him and get creative too. I was trying a "school" time with the older one while we waited for the baby to arrive when we worked on preschool skills. I'm a teacher for primary grades so I pulled out a bunch of my school stuff and put them into bins for us to use (at her daycare/school last year when I was working they called them "work"). I'm sure you'd got stuff that's educational for which you could make a little "school" area. Try to figure out what they are doing at school and extend it into the home- colors, numbers/counting, sorting, shapes, opposites, alphabet (sounds & names), patterns, matching, writing/drawing, etc. My three year old gets some time on the computer if she wants for starfall.com- I taught her how to point and click and shes learning the alphabet on her own and when she's ready she can move to the next of their 4 stages.

Hi A.,

I have a 2.5 year old and a 9 month old. I do LOTS of arts and crafts projects with her. At least one a day. It helps the day go so much smoother. We usually do it before lunch, then we eat (she helps make lunch) and then it's nap. The day realy flies by. We also do cooking projects. I often put the littler one in her highchair with something to do if she is not napping.

some ideas...

cookies- I give the baby some cookie dough to explore
masks (paper plates)
tamborines (paper plates with beans or rice)
telescopes (paper towel tube)- I give the baby a tube too
make playdough- there is edible playdough recipes
colored sand in jars
chocolate covered strawberries with sprinkles
bread
noodle necklaces
feather art
potato print painting
soap crayons
bird feeders
covered pretzels
cupcakes
magic muffins

When I can't give the baby anything we are playing with I put a small amount of colored water in a big plastic bowl, give her a spoon, measuring cups, cookie cutters and let her go.

I started subscribing to High Five (a division of High Lights) magazine for my 2.5 year old. There is always a craft, game or recipe. She loves it. In fact we got ours yesterday and we had to drop all to read it! Before bed we played the game.

Hi A.,

You're obviously a great Mom. Your heart shines through your blog, the way you care about your kids.

The danger in being the "director of activities" as I like to call it, is that your childen never learn how to entertain themselves and, when they get older, will make you responsible for their happiness. I've seen this 1000s of times as a counselor.

Unfinished toys are the best for children...blocks of wood that they imagine are fire engines or cars, paper that becomes home-made airplanes, finger paints, legos, anything that they have to use their imagination to play with will help.

If they say they're bored, don't answer them. Just walk off and make sure they see YOU doing something that's fun for YOU, as an adult. You might do jumping jacks, kiss or tickle your husband, make jewelry, ride a bike, jog, sew, knit, paint your nails, swim in the pool, swing on the swing set in the back yard. Model that everyone is in charge of their own fun.

I also love play-groups with other Moms and children. Your kids will learn to make their own fun. This is SO important in life. How many adults do you know that blame everyone else for their unhappiness. A LOT!

Write me with your address and I'll send you a copy of my parenting book, "Raising Humane Beings" for free. Best of luck Sweetie. You are a gem on this earth!

XXOO, J.
____@____.com
###-###-####