Do You Think... - Pittsburgh,PA

For the most part, anything over 15 minutes early with no phone call-- kinda rude. Unless you want to jump in and help-- I have one best girlfriend who will come over, get the drinks started and make getting ready for an event even better than if she hadn't come! She just says "tell me what to do". Love her.

Yes!! Unless you are really close friends or family - please don't come early. My husband is a last-minute showerer! Drives me nuts. People come over and then I need to get drinks, etc. and he's up in the shower.

More than 15-20 without calling is totally rude.

If it's just a close friend or family and I'm not officially entertaining then not such a big deal but if I have a dinner to cook or a party to get ready for they may just find me in a chaotic kitchen, slightly frazzled and not yet dressed for the occasion. Not a big fan of starting the party off in my apron with no make up faced with pretty guests ready to socialize.

If you show up early to an event at my house, you will most likely arrive while I am still cleaning. If you do, I will put a rag, a broom, or a mop in your hands and tell you to get busy.

I find it incredibly rude. 10-15 minutes is acceptable, 30 minutes is pushing it, and any later is just rude.

Of course, it does depend on circumstance... If someone is coming from far away, obviously they will need a bigger time window... But for someone in town? Psh. Usually, if I find myself THAT early to someone's house I will park and read a book, go to a store, call a family member to chat... something to pass the time.

Yes, it's rude. If I show up too early, I'll drive around, or just park somewhere and wait til it's the time I am supposed to be there.
In my book club, there is one member who shows up 15-20 minutes early to every meeting. She is there before anyone else. She has shown up at our houses when we are trying to vacuum the living rom before everyone shows up, or when we're running out to pick up one of our kids at an activity before the meeting starts, or when we're still eating dinner with our family 20 minutes before we're expecting anybody. It's very annoying. She doesnt live far enough away to need an extra 20 minutes of "traffic" time, she only lives about 20 minutes away and it's not like we start at 7:30 on the dot, often our members are showing up 10-30 minutes after our start time, because we are all busy (except the early person) trying to grab dinner with our families after work or dropping kids off/picking them up at activities before we can get to the meeting.

It depends. There are some people that I know are always early or always late, so I plan accordingly. If it's someone I don't know, or it's behavior out of the ordinary for them, and they're SO EARLY that I'm still cleaning up my house and in the beginning stages of preparing food or getting dressed then yes that's rude.

If I'm at work and someone is 15 minutes early or less for an appointment and I'm ready for them, I'll take them. If they're more than 15 minutes early then it's very likely I'm not ready and I ask our receptionist to have them wait and offer them some fresh water or coffee. I've had appointments arrive more than an hour early, with them knowing they were over an hour early (one came 2.5 hours early), expecting me to take them immediately and then later complain that I was wasting their time by not being ready for them and not accommodating them even though I was in the middle of working on assignments for my boss or in the middle of other meetings.

I typically tell people at work to please try not to arrive more than 15 minutes early because I would hate for them to have to wait longer than that. :-) So yeah, I have no trouble telling people to wait for me if I'm not ready. I've made suggestions to take a nice walk or go visit whatever it is that's interesting down the street during the time they have to wait. One guy was so early I recommended that he walk the half mile to the movie theater and see a movie, then come back.

But I'm an employment specialist, and part of it for me is teaching people the life skills to figure out that there are different grades of "being early for an appointment" that are acceptable and they won't always be welcome or accommodated right away in spite of having one or more disabilities. I will repeatedly tell people that if they would like an earlier appointment to call me to see if I'll be available. That's part of skill training too... so I'm really coming at this differently than most people.

In real life, I've had little problem telling people, "I'm sorry we're just not ready. We're still getting dressed and have some things to do. We weren't expecting anyone for at least another 90 minutes or whoa... two hours! I know this is inconvenient for you but we still need more time. We'll see you later."

I'm almost always early, but I think anything more than 15 minutes early is rude.

If I'm earlier than that I will just drive around or stop in to a coffee shop.

My son recently had a friend arrive an hour and a half early, which REALLY annoys me. Even though we homeschool and we're here all the time we still have stuff going on and a schedule that we pretty much stick to. I didn't say anything though.

If they're my friends they wouldn't be sitting anywhere, they'd be up helping.

If they're not your friends then I'd say just don't answer the door. When they say something say "Well, that must have been when I was in the shower. Sorry I didn't hear you".

YES... this definitely stresses me out, particularly when it's for dinner or lunch... I have had people arrive an hour early, which to me... is way too early.. During that time, I am usually in the midst of getting the food ready and myself.... so yes, it's not a pleasant surprise when people arrive too early..

It can be rude.
Especially if they expected to be waited on.
I won't have it - they help get things ready - I'll assign tasks to them.
They usually don't show up too early again next time.
Additional:
Send them on an errand.
"Oh, I forgot <ice cream, chips, bread, sauce, etc>! Could you run down to the store and get it for me while I get dressed?".
That will get them out of your hair for awhile.

no that has never bothered me. Usually if people are early, they have always offered to help set up or helped out somehow. It has never been uncomfortable for me

More than 15 minutes early is as rude as more than 15 minutes late, unless prior arrangements have been made.

If I have never been to an area of town or the map looks confusing, I will plan for extra time in case I get lost, but if I easily find it, there is no way I am going to go ahead and stay. I will find a place to park, or do something and then go back to the event at an appropriate time.

Sorry, it is considered rude to be too early as a guest.

I am habitually early, but I sit in my car and clean my car, my purse, text... until it's time.

As to guests coming early to my home, I prefer that over being late or not coming at all. I see coming early as they are eager to be invited or that they feel so close to me that they came early to help.

For me, it is not big deal as a hostess.

Yes! There's time I'm hoping people will run late because I'm not ready. I think it's common sense not to show up super early because people are still getting ready.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

I'd rather have people arrive early than late. My husband's family is habitually late so if they arrived early that would certainly be a surprise that I would welcome. I'm efficient, though, so the house is ready hours before the designated arrival time.

YES!!! More than 5 minutes early is TOO early in my opinion. I have friends that are frequently guilty of this. Once they showed up to our house 2 1/2 hours before we had agreed on getting together. I was just about to get into the shower - I had been cleaning all day. It was terrible. They all sat in the family room while I showered. Another time, they showed up an hour and a half early for a birthday party I was hosting. Awkward! I was still putting finishing touches on things and had more to do but there they were...

Absolutely stresses me out. I need that last 15-30 minutes to change clothes and relax before people arrive. If I arrive somewhere before I plan to, I will sit in the car, drive around the block, etc.

yes!
it's a rudeness i will never perpetrate, mind you. i'm a latey.
but yes, i'm thoroughly flustered by guests who arrive before i'm ready to receive 'em. unless they're close enough to me that i can put 'em work, that is<G>.
khairete
S.

Yes it's rude.
Some people need a "oh hi I wasn't expecting you until X-time, I guess you can sit in the living room while I finish getting ready."
Put on a bathrobe (even if you're already dressed underneath) that'll get the point across!

This would totally stress me!!!!
Probably because I'm always running late;)!

I assume 15 minutes early but plan for 30. Not all my friends live close by, I am not going to expect them to circle the neighborhood if traffic happened to be lighter than expected.

Interesting answers. I would never have to issue orders to help, my friends always offer. Wait on people? My friends know where the fridge is and again they offer to help. Maybe that is why I don't care if people show up early.

I don't think it's AS rude as being late, but I don't think people should arrive more than a couple of minutes early. Chances are the host isn't ready and will feel stressed out if someone shows up. Whenever I'm early, I just sit in my car and read or play games on my phone until it's time to go in. It kind of depends on the situation though - what is the event, who is the guest, how far did they travel to be there, etc.

Depends on who it is really. I prefer to be 100% ready when people come over to my house, but if it's family, they can do whatever is needed to help. If it's friends, I'd give them something to help me too. Otherwise, I would have been ready when they got there on time.

So kind of - but not really. I'd prefer a few minutes early to an hour late any day.

I think it depends. If the person lives across the street, yeah that's kinda rude. But if they have a long drive I just assume that they were making an effort not to be late and there was less traffic than they expected.

The longer the drive the harder it is to be exactly on time, you never know how traffic is going to affect your drive times. I think under those circumstances being an hour early is less rude than being an hour late.

Lol, depending on who it is and where I am in my prep process, I might not let them in. If they ring the bell, I just tell them that I'm not ready or the place is not ready. "I'm sorry. I'm still getting things ready, and I'm not prepared to let you in yet. Would you mind waiting out here?" Out here meaning "in your car". If it's someone close whom I don't mind letting in, then I tell them that they are early and that I won't be able to engage with them and don't have any refreshments ready. They can opt to sit in a mess (not quite, but...) alone or leave and come back.

Yes,it can be frustrating. If something is supposed to start at a specific time, I don't expect people to walk in at that time...I do expect them to arrive 10-15 minutes early...not more than 30 plus minutes before but I would rather than then them always being late (I get that too).

yes, I would. I would also tell them to try arriving closer to event time

It depends on how early honestly. 15 or 20 minutes, no I would not be mad, I would assume they just wanted to be sure they were not late and could not be sure how traffic would be, but if they were like an hour early, yeah that would annoy me. I alway make sure I am ready for my guests 30 minutes prior for those that arrive a little early.
I HATE when people are late and do everything I can to avoid being late.