Do You Correct Other People's Kids?

If it's a safety thing I don't think twice about it. I'd rather have an angry parent to deal with than explaining to the rescue squad team what happened.

If they are being rude or bullying I'm right there for that too. I'm pretty easy going but don't tolerate bs from ANYBODY including kids without manners.

If they deserve it - yes! LOL

Echoing the other responses - if it's dangerous or just rude - I will.

While we were vacationing in FL there was a little boy at the pool (maybe 5 or 6) who kept squirting people in the face with a water gun - not just kids but adults - and he was making a menace of himself in general. No parent in site (don't get me started on that) and then he came over and started squirting my mother and 2 year old nephew - mostly aiming at my nephew - and I called him out. Point blank.

Sorry - but i don't tolerate little a**holes anymore than I tolerate big ones. If the parents don't step up then I take it upon myself. For the record - he looked at me blankly, stopped and moved on to another 'target'.

Geesh...

I usually look to the parent first to see if they know what's going on. If the parent is paying attention, I let them handle it (or not, whatever the case may be). If the parent is distracted by something and is unaware of the situation, I will correct the child. This is what I would like for others to do for/with my my children and myself...the whole 'do unto others' thing :)

I give the parents an opportunity, but if they don't take it, then yes I correct other people's kids if their actions could harm others, like throwing sticks. I do think your friend jumped the gun a little bit by not giving you a chance.

I will if I HAVE to, but I HATE to. I'm always like WTHeck? You're RIGHT HERE, tell your kid to behave! I only say something if they are doing something dangerous or aggravating my children. Oh, or if they are being disrespectful towards me.
If someone tried to correct my child without giving me the chance, I'd just cut them off by saying, "I've got this". Then I'd proceed to handle my child. I'm saying "I would" because so far it hasn't happened. Our kids are pretty well behaved and if not, then we're right there to handle it.

For us, it's been the opposite with other people butting in when we are correcting our kids. Ex: If one of my children was to stand on someone's sofa and we're telling them not to do that the person would say, "Oh, They aren't hurting anything,I don't mind" So myself or my husband will say, "WE mind though".
Once my SIL butted in when my hubby was correcting our son and my hubby very seriously told her she could get put in time out too. Lol. He was fed up with her butting in. She was SO embarrassed because it was in front of everyone. It served her right for being such a buttinski. Lol. I don't think she's butted in since.

Yes and no. I have the relationship with most of my friends that allows me to do so without any negative thought from the other parent and vice versa with me. Sometimes their kids just listen better to me instead of their parent's voice nagging in their ears. It works for us.

Total strangers, though? Not so much. Only if someone could really get hurt.

I don't correct other people's kids, UNLESS they are endangering my child. The one time I did was with my best friend's little girl who kept running into a busy parking lot. I told her that she needed to stay with us because she could get hit by a car. My friend was totally cool with it, but her husband chewed me out. Crazy...because I would definitely want someone to step in if that was my son!

But, with that being said, I have found myself getting annoyed with people lately for correcting my son over silly stuff. I mean, different families have different rules. If he's being a brat, or doing something destructive or something that might hurt someone or himself, then I really don't mind. But don't expect him to be an adult and correct him for something that all kids do. I think those things are for the parents to handle. I guess it all depends on the situation and who it is that is correcting him.

No, not usually. The only time I do is if it somehow hurts my son or involves my son in some kind of danger. It depends on who I'm with and the relationship with that person. Sometimes it's good for them to hear it from someone else. If it's a complete stranger, and it's something relatively minor like throwing a stick, then yes, it would bug me.

If it's dangerous and the other parent didn't notice - yes, I do - I firmly tell the child that their actions were dangerous and wrong - then I let the parent know.

Yes, I would if the parent didn't but you didnt get a chance! I dont usually correct rudeness but if it is a safety issue I would Does your friend do this often or maybe because this seemed dangerous to her.

Only when the parent seems unresponsive, and then only when there's a safety issue. Or if the language is offensive/dangerous sounding. Any threats, too. If the parent doesn't feel inclined to address it, I will kindly. "Oh, we don't play that way here/we aren't playing that right now"... I try to keep it general and low-key. Kids and parents don't respond well to being shamed.

In your situation, I wouldn't have said anything. If it continued and you were busy with another child, I might just redirect actively: 'Oh, let's tap our sticks on the ground. What sort of sound does this make?" Kids sometimes just need a little help moving along to the next thing.:)

Most of my friends and I, including my daughters' friends parents that I'm friendly with, have very similar if not identical parenting philosophies so we trust each other. We only have each other's childrens best interests at heart and if something is said to someone's child it's with good intentions. It's not a contest, it's not someone else's way of showing that they know better than me. It's usually about safety or respect or following the rules of the space we're using.

What upsets me is when someone else punishes my child without my permission or for an offense that I would not have punished unless they're a guest in that person's home and intentionally broke a house rule.

There's probably one "good" friend who constantly corrects my children and tries to actually override my parenting. That crosses a line to me... when you're on my property and I discipline my kids or ask them to do or stop doing something and you try to override me and contradict me to my own children. If I overstep with YOUR kid, fine, I will humbly back down. But never contradict me when I'm handling my child no matter who you are.

A kid has to drive me completly nuts before I correct them.

I have a friend who I love dearly but she is really aloof and doesn't discipline her children very well, so when they are at my house, yes I will discipline them. They can be little menaces and I'll be darned if they are going to disrespect me, my children or our property while at our house with mom present or not!
Also if the parent is present but not paying attention, I will jump right in and handle a situation myself without telling the parent. E.g. A child squirts another unsuspecting child with a water gun, I have no problem letting the child know that "That wasn't very nice, you upset that child and shouldn't do it again." If it happens again then I will let the parent know so they can deal with it accordingly.
I personally wouldn't have been upset by the situation you described, I actually appreciate when another mom steps up and tells my child that they've done something wrong. My kids are usually taken aback and realize that it's not just mommy who has all the rules but that other moms in the world have the same rules. Sometimes I've just had a long day and I'm tired and help from another momma doesn't bother me one bit!

Sometimes it's just reflex. I also believe in backing up the parent. If mommy or daddy said no it's no ect. If it's a safety issue I don't think, I act. Several years ago I was shopping with my kids, who are not angels, I saw this little girl about 3 climbing out of the cart, her baby sister asleep in the basket part, the cart was tipping over I was afraid the both kids would get hurt. I stopped her from climbing out and went looking for the Mom who was down one of the aisles shopping, she couldn't see her kids but she was watching them. Yes I corrected her too.

I also believe in telling kids 'don't be rude/disrespectful to your mom/dad'. Or don't talk to mommy/daddy that way.

In the circumstance you just related, no I would not have said something, unless it was obvious that the parent wasn't going to say anything at all. And then I would have worded it much differently "Please don't throw sticks, you might have hurt me, your friends, your mom or yourself and that wouldn't be very good or nice". I always try to word something like that when dealing with other people's children so as to not be butting in where I shouldn't be. By wording it that wasy I make it about my personal comfort and not me telling off someone else's child. Honestly, I try to use language like that with my kids anyway so it's a learning experience. They are less likely to do something again if they know exactly why instead of just telling them no.
If we're in a large group activity with a bunch of children where a parent may not see something but I do I will speak up to the child or try to get the parent involved.

She REALLY should have waited for you to say something. You were right there!!! I get it if you weren't there, or your back was turned. But give the parent a chance. The whole thing wasn't any of her business, at all. I would've been annoyed too. I've had that happen and it actually embarrassed me. I wasn't sure if I was then supposed to say "yeah, I was about to tell her no" or what?? I thought it actually made me look stupid in front of my kid. As if I wasn't going to do anything about it because I'm weak and soft, but someone else will step right in? I don't want my kids to have that image of me. Please, give me a MINUTE to discipline my own kid!

No - I do not correct other kids when the parents are standing right there unless it's in my house and the child is doing something I consider really rude to me kind of personally. Then I might do it if the parent doesn't just bc it's my house so I feel a bit of a right. Otherwise, when a certain mother has done it to my kids, it really annoys me. Sometimes her rules are different than ours so butt out. ie: it would depend how my child was going to throw the stick. They are in certain cases allowed to throw sticks... For instance, for our dog to fetch!

This boy (7?) on a playground threw a FULL water bottle up high in the air in the direction towards my 3 year old daughter. It barely missed her, but that would have HURT if it didn't miss her. I immediately turned on my protective M. lion and ran over there and scolded him. I didn't yell, I just firmly said "you do NOT throw water bottles. You could have hurt her or someone else!" I think I even asked him to apologize. I don't remember, but inside I was livid- MOSTLY because his parents (or maybe not parents, but the adults that were there watching him) witnessed the whole thing and didn't say A THING! Now, the boy just starred blankly at me- I'm guessing he didn't speak English, but he MUST have known why I was mad- it was pretty obvious. Now, at least one of the adults watching him spoke English, cause i heard them talking. Not a word was said to me or the child. That was the only time I was THAT firm to a child stranger. I just kept imagining IF she got hit- I mean, if it hit her in just the right place we could have easily needed to go to the ER.

Now, I agree with Dana K. and others that have said the same thing.

Seriously though, nobody messes with my kids! I don't care how old you are! GRRRR! M. lioness!!!! LOL

No. And I hope I never do. My m-i-l does and it makes me crazy.She has corrected my sisters kids, while my sister was sitting right there. She doesnt give anyone the chance to say anything. That bugs me more than the kids doing something they are not supposed to. I usually say something to the parents and let them handle it, if they dont they dont, its not my place to step in

Usually I wait to see if the parent says something. The only time I might chime in is if the other parent and I are friends I may say something to make it clear to the kid that these are general rules of life - not just mommy's rules. But, I only do it if the mom and I are on good terms and I know she'll know where I am coming from.
But, just maybe that is where this mom was coming from, not usurping your authority - confirming it.

I only say anything if the other parent is not paying attention, or the other parent just chooses not to say anything.

I'd rather someone let me know my daughter was doing something inappropriate (in the rare times I'm not paying attention) than take it upon themselves to reprimand her.

No I do not do that and om perfectly capable of letting my kids know if they are in the wrong. That would make me mad. You handled the situation just fine and didn't need her two cents!

I correct any child I see fit. If children are in my home and ill-mannered I correct them, as well as I do with kids who are being rude or mean to me or my kids. I have NO problem doing it. I would have given you a chance to say something though certainly if you were there. The stick didn't hit anyone so she should have let you handle it. Some people are just like that though. And when I find people like that, I pull away. I'm the mom. If I'm there, let me handle it.

I'd try not to be too touchy about this. While I realize it was back in the dark ages when I was little, it was simply accepted that available adults would "help" each other by interceding sometimes with the children of others.

There are some advantages to this – the child begins to understand that some rules and guidelines are more or less universal. They begin to internalize the need to follow rules, realizing that they won't get away with things just because their parent is not looking. All these adults reinforce each other's messages, creating a sense of 'civic duty' or civilized behavior. They may hear essentially the same rule presented in different language and different styles, which can help some little brains internalize better.

The fact that you seem offended or distressed a bit suggests to me that you may actually be feeling a little defensive about other moms' opinions of you, perhaps even more than a natural defensiveness about others treating your child well. I had some of that as a young mom. When I looked at it closely, I realized that other moms reinforcing my message was really a good thing. After that, the only thing that would have offended me would be someone screaming at or striking my child. But those things never happened.

I will correct a child (any child) that is being mean to my son or rude to me. Beyond that, not my business.

My old babysitter (up until about 3 months ago) and I had that kind of mutual understanding. We would do things as a group (BG, WC, the beach, etc). With a total of 7 kids (sometimes 8 if the teenager down the street went with us) there were a lot of nit picky stupid stuff the kids would do.

Our understanding was, whoever saw whichever kid do something wrong was the one to discipline. There were days that I would pick my children up from her house in the afternoon and one of hers would be behind her acting up. I had no problem telling them to quit before they got in trouble. She would do the same with mine.

I guess it really depends on the other adult and your relationship. I know that it really irritates me when my brother corrects my children. My step daughter (17) will correct them and it irritates me because she is never there and will fuss at them for something that we let go.

If my son misbehave, I am quite happy when a parent comes in and says no-no, I think it teaches him boundaries and rules, and that these are normal for everyone, not just from parents.
In the other hand, nothing is worst in my opinion than parents who sit back and wait for their kids to REALLY misbehave to intervene. We went on holiday with friends, and it turns out that screaming, tantrum throwing, loud mouth and extreme hyperactiveness was tolerated (or rather ignored) unless we (me and my husband looked terribly annoyed. At first I tried to calm their daughter 4 (and our son -3- who was getting hyper from her behavior), but they would not give a wit about it, so we started to forbid our son to sit with her at meal times, to sit with her in the minivan, etc, so they started to get the point only then, as if they were happier to see us discipline their kid rather than doing it themselves. They slowly got it and started dealing with their daughter misbehavior, but I think they were also a bit annoyed with us, as if we were annoyed to have to watch for them, when most of the time they do not care, leaving the older boy 8 to look after her (and he is rather calm). Several times, we ended up watching our kids and theirs while they were having a quiet coffee. I found this really uncourteous, even if their kids are a bit older, would be a simple gesture to join when one parent alone is getting involved with everyone's kids.
In short, despite the fact that we knew these friends for a long time, and that we did holiday (beach ones) before, this specific holiday was horrible, and somewhat ruined our friendship. Nothing specific was ever discussed about it since, but I am sure I will NEVER do a holiday again with them, and not even a weekend out to some places near...

My friends and I have an agreement that it is okay to correct each other's children (within reason). Sometimes the rules are different at a friend's house, like no food in the family room. Sometimes, I just like for my kids to know that "no throwing sticks" is a rule most everywhere and they are more likely to understand that if they hear it from a friend's mom. I am careful what I say to other children when we first meet. I discuss this concept with the mom first, but I really think it helps the children. They are more prepared for a teacher to say "No" when they start school.