Did I "Give Up" on Nursing Too Quickly? Feeling Guilty

you made it 9-10 months! That's great! I quit after a week of my kiddo screaming instead of eating, and I felt terrible, but her pediatrician told me that she would be just as healthy on formula and she was. Don't feel guilty!

Kudos to you, and I say this as a fellow nurser who nursed all my kids: It doesn't matter!!!! I was adopted. I was never nursed. I'm an extremely healthy and intelligent person with no bonding issues. I was able to nurse mine with the luxury of being a stay at home mom. I know amazing moms who NEVER nursed, ones who nursed for one or two months, or six months, or two years. You know what? All their kids are healthy and happy. If anything, the formula kids seem heartier to me. I nursed my second child the least long-three months, and he's my tank who NEVER gets sick. You may be feeling nostalgic, and that's OK, but you did an amazing job so don't feel bad!

Relax. No guilt. There's enough other things to worry about than nursing...
Is he happy?
Is he healthy?
It's all good.
LBC

Is your son happy and healthy? What does the pediatrician say about his growth and development? If the doc is okay with your son and he's a happy, healthy boy, then you have done an awesome job. Sometimes our kids turn out differently than we expect. I can relate. I have a 2 year old who has been fussy and impatient since birth. At least YOU could nurse your son for some time-- I tried and couldn't nurse my kid. Honestly, I would have lost my sanity, literally. My kid could chomp down a 9 oz. bottle of formula in 40 seconds flat at 4 months old and would still be hungry! I couldn't wait until he could drink whole milk at one. I used to call him an eating and pooping machine (6-7 poops a day, sometimes 6- 9oz. bottles of formula a day, plus baby food.) There was no way I could have kept up with his appetite if I nursed. I think all of us would have been too miserable, him included.

I don't think you gave up too soon. Based on the circumstances, it sounds like your son just wasn't a nurser.

Giving up nursing is hard and sad. Yes, there are nursing strikes, but I do think it is normal for a lot of babies to self-wean starting at 9-10 months. They have teeth, are now mobile, and many start to think they are much bigger than they actually are ;-)

Both of my kids self-weaned around 11-12 months. My son lost interest early, at 9 months, but we kept nursing till one day, around 11 months, he just stopped and said "cup."

The most important thing is that they are happy and healthy.

In my experience 9-10 months was the toughest age to nurse at-- they're just so BUSY and interested in the world they don't want to take time out to nurse and when they do they're prone to jerking their head around to look at things-- with out letting go of your poor abused nipple first!

Their's no real right or wrong--just experience. If you have a second baby you'll have more experience to draw from.

If you want to wean it's a naturally good time even though you'll have to buy formula for a few months. If you want to go with the flow you do that and let things develop. And if you're determined to keep nursing you nurse more at night and in quiet boring rooms.... A lot of people are under the impression that nursing frequency is a steady slope-- that it gradually decreases then stops, when in reality it goes up and down again and again....

I think you did what was best for your child,
. He was too busy to nurse and this had an effect on your body. He is doing great with a bottle and is thriving and happy. That is how you know you made a good choice!

This is about him and you did great, by following his lead!

We can make a million plans about our children, but they have their own personalities and needs. When we learn to fill THEIR wants and needs, we honor them. We are here to teach and guide them, not to fulfill our own wants.

Give yourself a pat on the back for going 8-10 months. My goal with both kiddos was 6 months, and I went around 9 months with both. I had to mostly pump after 4 months when I went back to work, and I just didn't produce much.

You did good.

I know the feeling. I had to give up nursing. My son was 9 months old and dangerously underweight which resulted in a feeding tube and strict feeding schedule and calorie count. He was developmentally delayed and I had to stop nursing to provide him a special high calorie formula. I mourned that I couldn't nurse to a year and felt terrible. But.... I still think that 9-10 months is pretty darn good!!! So, I say GO YOU!!! I was upset about it and his doctor told me that he was formula fed as a baby and he grew up to be a doctor.

Your baby is happy and healthy. Enjoy your little one b/c you sound like a great Mama!!!

First off, I'm glad you nursed him for those 9 or 10 months. That gave him a great start. Second, we don't always know what we don't know. Enjoy your son and if you have another child, see if doing things differently changes the length of time the child nurses.

Don't feel guilty. It could have been a nursing strike or he could have been weaning himself, and you'll never know now, so feeling guilty will just add stress. This is the first in a LOT of guesswork decisions that you will have to make for your children, and looking back and going, "I regret that..." doesn't really do anyone any favors. You nursed for 9-10 months and that's awesome! And it is completely normal for a mother of a 15-month-old to long for the baby days. Be confident.

Yep - sounds like a nursing strike - when this happens, babies will generally only nurse at night and 'dream feed' which is nurse while sleeping - which only works if you co-sleep.

It's not too late to re-lactate, but baby has probably forgotten how to nurse since he's been bottle fed only so long.

Now you know what to look for in the next child - you learn from your mistakes which is how we improve :) don't feel bad - you didn't know.

****ADDED***
Just so that more misinformation isn't shared and passed on - for mammals, including human - self weaning doesn't occur until after 2 years old for humans. The normal self weaning age for humans - if allowed to continue and not forced or pressured into weaning - is between 3-5 y/o. A baby can be 100% nutritionally cared for by breastmilk only up to 2 years old - - that is how nutritionally dense and hydrated breastmilk is. The teeth our babies start getting are called MILK TEETH for a reason.

I think it is great that you did it for as long as you did and you should not feel guilty but feel good about how long you did do it. It didn't necessarily have to be a nursing strike, could have been something else. You just never know and you did what you thought was best. I missed the closeness too when I stopped nursing my kids and they were a little over a year old. But you find other ways to be close to them. Like cuddles before bed. I will still sometimes lay in bed with them and talk with them and cuddle and they are 7 & nearly 5 years old. Don't beat yourself up on what ifs, just feel proud of yourself for what you did do.

We all have those "I should have known!" moments in our lives. We often beat ourselves for it. When I read your post, I thought maybe you gave up after a month. But then I saw almost 10 months and I thought "Way to Go!" It might have been a strike or it might have been self-weening. Either way, if he is healthy and happy you did the right thing. Can you cuddle and feel close in other ways?

Both of mine stopped nursing at 9 months. I feel just fine about it! They got that crucial six months, and some extra. No sadness for me over nursing for nine months... You did good in my book :)

You did better than I did.
I breast fed 5 months.
I had to start back to work at 3 months and even though I pumped and pumped and had him on the breast long as I could weekends/evenings, my supply dwindled.
So we did formula the rest of the way.
He was slow in taking to solid foods so he was on formula till almost his first birthday.
We snuggled plenty whether we feeding or not, so we still had the closeness.
He's fine - smart, tallest in his class, straight A student, all round talented kid.
I was glad I breast fed him for as long as I could, but I'm not at all feeling guilty about stopping when I did.
Different ages and different stages - they keep changing and growing.
Celebrate them all but don't mourn their passing.
If you've ever seen a kid who can't develop past a certain stage, you'd realize staying in one place is not as good a wish as it seems to be.
Sure I sometimes wish I could un-bottle a little time and rock my happy easy going 6 month old again for a little while, but he's such a great 13 yr old and I love him as he is right now, too.

Well, for me nursing became almost exclusively about comfort at around 9-10 months with all three of my kids, less about nourishment.

I didn't feel guilty about it, it seemed like the natural order of things.

If you're missing it that much, maybe it's time for a NEW nurser!

:)

You did great...between eight and nine months my son bit me and he never saw another boob again. I bled through a nursing pad, my bra and shirt...it was quite a cut.

great job mama!!

I doubt it was time for him to wean... really if they still need formula - technically the a biologically still "supposed" to be nursing.

But hey, you made a judgement call! You are a champ for going as long as you did... Don't feel guilty! If you miss the baby days, just grab a blanket and cuddle up with him. I am a huge advocate of BF, but ya know what- I was bottle fed and I truly think I turned out just fine, and I never look back and think "oh I wish my mom would have breastfed me instead"- I love her just the same!

Next baby, if you have one- be diligent with breastfeeding if he/she goes on strike. But since you cannot change the past- don't dwell on it and don't feel guilty!

-M.