Development with Babies

Updated on October 31, 2010
L.R. asks from Georgetown, MA
13 answers

Hi All,

I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced this. I feel strangely guilty that my 10 month old only has a few words. After my older son was born, I would read to him literally all day and he talked around 6 months ( by this I mean Dadda and Mama). By a year old, he was already putting a few words together. I watch videos of him at ten months and he had tons of words already.

With the new baby, I haven't had nearly as much time to read books to him because of the older son. Also, I've had to work much more with this baby. Now that he isn't really talking, I feel like I should be doing more to promote his vocabulary. Do others notice that the second child doesn't talk as much? If so, was it a concern if the child was otherwise developing normally?

Thanks...

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S.B.

answers from Wichita on

actually, many second children dont talk as much at first, because their older sibling tends to do it for them. I wouldnt worry.

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M.R.

answers from Columbus on

There is not a difference between the milestone expectations of a first, verses second, third and so on, just as there is no difference between boys expections and girls expectiations.

BUT, your first son was way ahead of the curve. By a year, they are only expected to have a few words, and by two years, they are to have between 50 and 100 and be putting two together in a simple sentence. Babies are only expected to be babbleing by six months, so if your second is doing that, he is fine. There is nothing you should do to promote early development, just continue to enrich his enviornment and read to him too. The simple additon of your older son to the mix with the baby means that your younger ones day is full of language for him to hear, which is going to be the thing that he needs to learn.

Your baby is fine!

M.

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B.

answers from Augusta on

um your first child was ahead on the speaking milestone.
Most 1 yr olds can't say many words. Much less at 10 months.
My oldest is gifted and she didn't say much anyone could understand until she was 2 yrs old.

if you want to encourage communication you can introduce baby sign language.

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D.B.

answers from Boston on

Try to relax. I don't know that it has anything to do with birth order - kids are just different. If he's not talking, he's working on something else! I have a single child, read to him constantly, did all the "right" things, and he still didn't talk until 16 months! Yes, I was worried, but the doctor said that usually if there is a problem, the child is delayed in more than one area. My son was completely on track in every other area. He was advanced in others - he walked very early, just as your first one talked early. I think talking at 6 months is nearly unheard of, isn't it? Your #2 is probably doing all kinds of things, and there is brain development that he can't see. You may also find that, because you are more experienced, you are anticipating his needs and he doesn't really need to talk. That's part (not all) of what happened with my son. If you are sure that he can hear, which I think you are, then relax. Enjoy his other milestones and try not to compare kids' schedules of growth. Try to give him a break and not pressure him - give him a variety of experiences and he will develop just fine. My pedi said they all catch up at some point - they just learn things in different orders! Mine started to talk at 16 mos and hasn't shut up since! And don't blame yourself, really!!!

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J.K.

answers from Sacramento on

I wouldn't worry about it until he's about 15 months. If he has no words with purpose, for example pointing at you (only) and saying Mama, I'd be concerned. There's a huge developmental spectrum for speech, for good reason. The child themselves play a part in that ( some kids work on developing motor skills first... is he a big crawler/walker?), illness (has he had colds/ ear infections?), 2nd child (often we understand more of what they want and need or the sibling does, and they don't *have* to use words).

I doubt it's anything that you are doing or not doing... your second is just different from your first and doing things his way.

Good luck:)

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S.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

I don't understand the problem my 14 mnth old can't say that many words, he prefers to communicate non-verbally (and no there is nothing wrong with his hearing because he can copy tone and pitch perfectly) his words are daddy, mama(which he doesn't say often) nana (for banana) done (which sounds more like din alot) and yeah,, and he can make noises for certain animals (lion,puppy, sheep, cow and monkey)

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K.T.

answers from Springfield on

L.
I also noticed some verbal delays with my second in relation to my first. I think it is normal that you don't do as much with the second as the first (how could you?). But my second is also certainly learning alot from her elder sibling. That is the way it has to be- the older ones only had you and the younger ones have you and siblings to learn from.
RE: delays in words/talking. My elder was a precocious toddler in all things cognitive and my second was not. That alone made the gap between them seem larger. Also my elder had a tendency to advocate for the younger (mom- addie wants more milk etc)- so the need for the younger to effectively communicate was diminished. Nonetheless I was worried about her language. I had reason to believe that her hearing was a bit off and it turns out that I was able to get her to a hearing specialist who confirmed that all of the low-grade ear infections I didn't know she had caused lots of temporary hearing dimunition. Combined with the other factors I mentioned it was clear that there was nothing really developmentally wrong (and that all holds true now 2 years later- nothing at all is wrong with her verbal skills).
I think that if you feel there is something wrong you should look into it, however my experience tells me that the second can be "behind" a sibling for a variety of reasons that have nothing to do with innate ability.

Good luck
K.

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K.E.

answers from Boston on

I have three boys. My second was an early talker and always impressed people with his vocabulary. My first, however, did not really talk until about 2 1/2! And yet once he started, you couldn't shut him up. He started learning to read at 3 and could read simple stories on his own by 3 1/2. My third son just turned 1 and still has no words at all.

The important points here are that every kid is different and that just because a child starts talking "late" doesn't mean there is any cognitive problem. As another poster said, it just means he is working on another skill (with my first son, it was motor skills -- he was a determined early walker). Also, 6 months is REALLY early to start talking, so it sounds like your first child might not be the best comparison. I don't think it's at all abnormal for a 10-month-old to not be talking. And finally, I read to my first son a lot as well, and although it did foster a love for books, it clearly didn't result in early speech. So even if you had been reading a lot to your second child, he might not be talking by now.

I wouldn't worry about all the milestones as long as there is no reason to think he won't get there eventually. By the time he starts talking, it won't matter how long he's been doing it. It all turns out the same in the end.

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C.M.

answers from Boston on

My first talked closer to one year old and my younger baby is almost 18 months and isn't talking, he understands though just chooses not to talk. Of course they are only 13 months apart but aparently if his sister gets the point accross then why should he, who knows. If everything is good developmentally they should be fine.

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L.S.

answers from New London on

This is my kids exactly. Don't worry about it. They will catch on and when they do it will probably be quick. Don't stress about it.

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L.

answers from Mobile on

I'm with Beth--don't worry about it. Einstein was a late talker. The age at which kids talk doesn't mean much (except maybe a little less frustration for them!). We enjoyed baby signs for that reason.

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M.K.

answers from Monroe on

I agree with what was already said. My first was actually the slower talker of my two. She said only mama at 11 months and at 18months only about 5 words, at two years it was more like 15 instead of the 50 they should have--however, at about 2.25 years she started talking in full sentences and hasn't shut her mouth since.
My LO is 14 months and can say 7 words that we know what are (so more than her older sister did at 18 months).
Every child is different--and your first was really far ahead of the curve if he was doing anything more than babbling at 6 months.

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K.S.

answers from Detroit on

your child sounds fine. its hard not to compare kids though.Just read as much as you can your child is getting lots of input from their brother. just enjoy them. Your first child may have great hearing abilities and this child may end up being more visual and hands on who knows. they will be fine. Good luck

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