DD Cries Too Easily - 8 Years Old

I think kids need to do their "toughening up" themselves. All you can do is encourage.

At the moment, she may feel that, in addition to being naturally sensitive (it's not unusual to be quick to cry as well as to laugh), her friends, her coach, and even her family members are now telling her she's a wimp and a loser. How is a little girl going to handle that?

You may get a lot of better answers, but I think one thing you can do is look for the times when she does things without the tears. Really be on the lookout - and commend her when that happens. "I'm glad that when you fell down you just checked to see if you were all right and then went on playing. Good for you!"

You could give her behavioral cues occasionally (and unobtrusively). "J., look on the menu, and if you don't see anything you like right away, tell me very quietly and I'll help you look."

How loud is her gymnastics coach? Does she find his yelling frightening? How can she know for sure that he's just raising his voice because that's what he does, and not being furiously angry? Eight years old is still pretty young.

With encouragement and some guidance, she will find that she can save her tears for the occasions that really call for them, and handle everything else with thought. Her happy disposition will actually help her.

Oh boy, that sounds like me! I was that way and I was also sensitive to others and their suffering (not a bad thing, huh?). I probably have ADHD, if I had been tested, or maybe an emotional deprivation of some type. Once, as an adult, I told my brother that I was such a baby as a kid, you know, I would get hurt when we were all playing outside and run in crying. He said, "No, you are just very feminine." It made me feel so good. Anyway, I'm not sure if this helps you, but I want to say that I am still sensitive today (44), but in a very healthy way. I really think that it is the way I release stress or joy for that matter. Maybe there is something that has made her feel hypersensitive, such as a death or loss of some kind. She will grow out of it or into it more fully and healthily.

http://www.amazon.com/Highly-Sensitive-Child-Children-Ove...

My kids are both Highly Sensitive Childrend (HSC's in this book). I am too. This book has a quiz in the beginning, if you answer a certain amount with "yes" than your daughter has this trait. The book describes by age group what helps these kids. It is a matter of adjusting the world to them so they can adjust to the world later. HOWEVER, this is a trait from BIRTH, not something that comes on later. My kids exhibited this behavior from the day they were born, one much more than the other. I am 51 and still highly sensitive but have coping strategies for situations I have to deal with that I taught my kids. I also know myself well enough to choose situations I like. The book has many more helpful hints.
I agree with another mom, this could be the start of her puberty. Not that she will get her period tomorrow hopefully, but for a few years before that the cycle begins to fluctuate just not high or low enough to cause periods. Our doc said that after she gets breast buds and the beginnings of pubic hair, her first period will most likely follow in about 2 years.

Have you checked in with a social worker or school psychologist?
My niece (almost 7) is exactly the same way, and through a series of conversations with the social worker, they discovered that she is an anxious kid, borderline on disorder.

The worker gave some tips for how to improve things (going back to the toddler years, when you had to prep them for everything...when the party is over, we're going to leave. Your coach may yell a little if you mess up, etc...) that seems to have helped. But there are other tricks, too.

I am curious about what the issue is with a child crying when they feel hurt or offended. Or even an adult for that matter. Our tendency in society to stuff feelings greatly contributes to illness in our bodies. How is crying inappropriate? Does it actually harm another person? Does it harm your daughter? Or does it allow her to stay healthy because she releases emotion rather than stuffing it in her body?

It sounds like your daughter feels her feelings and then moves on. I know that she is facing other people feeling uncomfortable with her show of emotion, but is it possible she isn't the one that has an issue? Could it be possible that your daughter is actually healthier than those around her that reject feelings?

How does it feel when people around us say that we shouldn't be the way we are? How differently would it feel to your daughter if you gave her tools to deal with other people's discomfort rather than trying to force her to be someone she isn't so other people will feel better? It isn't her job to make other people feel better. It is her job to allow herself to be who she is, to feel her feelings, to express her feelings appropriately, and to let others do the same.

My son is the same way, and he just turned 9. I have noticed that the less I stress about it, the less he behaves this way. I think they can sense how frustrated we get about these things and it makes it worse in a weird psychological way. Maybe...? Im sorry, I hope this gets better soon!

Is the crying new or has she always been a crying type? If it is new it may just be hormones. Very typical to start near age 9.