Daughter Is Asking Where Babies Come From

Updated on September 26, 2007
K.H. asks from Powell, TN
4 answers

Hello I have 2 daughters my oldest is in the 1st grade she is 6 and my youngest is 4 very recently they have started asking in depth questions on where babies come from. Before I could pass it off now, the questions are where do they come out of? and did it hurt? I told them it was uncomfortable but they give you medicine so it doesn't hurt so much. My fear is since Kendra is in school she will be told by other kids and I really don't want that to happen. So I guess my question is at what age do you have "the talk"? I'm so nervous I just don't want to have it too late.

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J.T.

answers from Chattanooga on

Children do grow fast don't they! I have boys, but I have still had to address this. I simply tell what a beautiful thing it is for a mommy to have a baby and that girls are given a super special gift of being a mommy. I have also mentioned that when a mommy is pregnant--the baby will be ready to come out at just the right time and it will come out "down there" pointing in a vague way. Most of the time that has been enough to satisfy the curiosity. It will come up again later, but it is always best to be honest, I think. I have never had to really explain yet, that it takes a certain activity to cause the baby to grow in the first place, but I have said that when a Mommy and Daddy love each other very much there love can make a baby grow if they choose to have (more) children.
I definitely think that you gently inquire what or where they may have been hearing things from. It is OK to state correct factual details instead of letting your child believe who knows what kind of blown out of proportion story they may have heard at school! The topic isn't as important as the willingness you show to listen and answer! They need to have that open, non judgmental (in words or body language), gentle, listening ear of a Mom to be able to open up to. If you drill them with questions it will close up the doors of communication.

Soak up the moments of innocence, it is truly a beautiful thing!

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J.M.

answers from Chattanooga on

Keep it simple! Give a short, honest answer to their questions but don't elaborate unless they ask for more. Try asking them what they have heard and maybe from whom, without sounding judgemental. They'll hear way more than you ever would have imagined from other children, the most important thing is letting them know they can talk to you about what they hear without you getting upset - start that now and it will pay off in the future. And enjoy every minute you have with your children, the time always went too fast when you look back!

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A.D.

answers from Clarksville on

My daughter is 10 yrs old. I've told her just enough to satisfy her each time we have "that talk". I have very strong Christian beliefs so when the questions were raised I thought about how my Mom approached the subject and what should I do differently for today's world being what it is.

Our children are exposed to so much these days, from school to television that it's hard to keep up as parents. I remember when my daughter first asked where babies come from I told her that it starts by having a Mommy and a Daddy that love each other. And at the right time God blesses them with a baby. That worked for a while. Then she asked how does God know that they want a baby... I explained that when the love between a Mom and Dad becomes so strong and they want to share that love with another person they make a child. How do they do that? Well, they love each other, and a seed is then planted in a Mommy's belly and the baby begins to grow inside her.

Each time the answers are always truthful, never making up anything just adding to each time. Based on her age and maturity level I told her more and more. She's now going through puberty and understands everything she needs to know for her age. I always made it clear that if she ever had any questions about ANYTHING, she could always come to me for REAL answers and I would answer the best that I could.

She still comes to me saying so and so said this, is that true? Or I heard this, what do you think about it? Just don't be afraid to tell her you need to think about the answer and you'll give her an answer a little later. Talk the answer over with your husband, and make sure you're on the same page as to what you want your children to know and when. Many times with men they feel left out when raising girls and they really don't have to, when they can give input from behind closed doors or otherwise without feeling embarrassed. Their feelings on this should matter as well, speaking from experience.

Good Luck!

((BIG HUGS))
A.

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J.G.

answers from Augusta on

I have been thinking about this question since my daughter was born. One thing I always keep in mind is to tell the truth. It would be alot better coming from you than one of her friends. I would also let them know that they can ask any questions they need. I was reading one website, maybe webMD, that mentioned that you do not have to tell them everything in one big talk. It should be a subject that is talked about often because as they grow their bodies will change and they will have different questions.
You might also want to ask your doctor what to say. I am not sure what your opinion is about this but maybe talk to your pastor or other church members. I hope this helps good luck and I am sure your will find the right things ti say.

J. G

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