Cps

Updated on November 22, 2010
M.R. asks from Plano, TX
14 answers

Whats yor first thought of someone when you hear there kids got taken away ??? Iam asking cause lots of pepole that i know judge when they hear 'someones kids got taken away by cps' I dont feel that way tho because i fill that i dont know the person and the situation that there going threw. What about you ???

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

I'd love to say I don't judge... but if the child has actually been removed... then yep. I do.

Are there extenuating circumstances? Often, but not as often as there are not. And having firsthand knowledge of the VERY lengthy process in which it takes to have a child removed (unless the police are involved), and of the *huge* number of classes and opportunities that parents can avail themselves of to not have their children taken in the first place, and number of things parents can do to have their children home almost immediately... I'm perhaps more biased than most. Can my first thought be wrong? Absolutely. But it's still my first thought.

Investigations, however, I don't even blink at.

Investigations happen all the time, and the vast majority -in my experience- result in a "no worries" verdict. Nearly every child I ever competed with or against (including myself) has been under the CPS microscope... because athletes get banged up. A lot. Investigations, or someone being under investigation (child in or out of the house) doesn't even blip my radar.

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N.G.

answers from Dallas on

Being moderately familiar with the inner-workings of CPS, I know first-hand how difficult it is to have a child removed from their homes. Having said that, if CPS resorted to taking a child away, yes, I would instinctly have thoughts about that parent. If you're a parent who loves & sacrifices for your child, how could you not?

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M.R.

answers from Phoenix on

As much as I respect you for not being quick to judge others when they are undergoing such circumstances, I don't see how anyone cannot immediately think, "what's up?"

There are always 3 sides to every story: the mom, CPS and the truth. Even though it is true that CPS has removed kids too hastily, those cases are VERY rare. Their professional decision is based on something alarming.

Years ago, a friend of a friend had her baby removed. While she was visiting her mom in the hospital, the baby fell off of the hospital bed, hit her head and it was fractured. CPS removed the child and it took over 3 weeks to be reunited. Even though there was no outright neglect, babies should not be falling on their heads. Head fractures must be reported. The child must be removed until the home is considered safe. It takes time to ascertain that.

So, yes I think it is completely understandable to have think the worst at first. B/c mama's who take care of their babies don't get reported to CPS in the first place.

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L.L.

answers from Topeka on

I don't know anyone personally who have had kids taken away I hear about it but it is a long ordeal they have to prove it before the kids are taken away.
Every situation is different now judging a person before knowing them hmm I would question myself before coming an acquantice (say in a school or church) not a friend or support person they have others for that purpose

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B.T.

answers from Odessa on

I have been involved with CPS since I was a kid. I thought I was done when I moved out of the house. Then when I had my first born my mom called because my boyfriends mom and her got into it an I took my mother in laws side. She made up a bunch of accusations. The CPS worker that got assigned to the case was my mom's friend. I fought and fought and fought, she tricked me multiple times telling me if I didnt voluntarily place my baby girl with someone they would take her from me and put her in a foster home. I fought and fought still, she got my aunt and uncle to talk to the family about adoption, they guilted us for months.
Long story short, dont judge unless you know the story. The case worker who we were placed with has done that to 5 other families in our town.
I dont judge because I have been on the other side and it sucks when people look at you and think you hurt your baby.

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W.O.

answers from Houston on

Having dealt with this sitution being a teacher having to work with students who have been removed from their homes, I have reason to believe that when children have been removed, it is for the better where the child is concerned.

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M.T.

answers from Austin on

I try not to judge but i always have the first thought of "I wonder why they were taken away." There are so many cases where children are removed that shouldn't be and those that should be and never are. Before I make any judgements about anyone I usually will find out the story behind it before making a final decision even though it's usually not my business or place to judge. As humans we can't always help ourselves. Now a days you never know what CPS might consider reasoning behind taking a child out of the home. Many I would disagree with. A friend of mine almost had her children taken because of something a neighbor assumed about her and her children. Luckily she had a good CPS worker who knew her stuff. Not all do and end up hurting the families more than they are helping them.

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D.N.

answers from Chicago on

Since I have had to deal with CPS myself for false allegations, I give it a chance to find out what actually happened. In my case, the report didn't even make sense. As others have said, usually they cannot take the kids without reason but there are some workers that really don't care and want to make a case out of you so create stories. My worker added rooms to my house.
I have whose cousin had her kids taken away because the older one pushed the baby-15 months, and he fell hitting his face on the table causing bruises on his chin and forehead. They asked her what happened, talked to her like (oh, okay we understand) and then came with a court order to take the kids. Luckily she had a good attorney and got the kids back within a week. Another time, a former neighbor told me about another neighbor's tenants that had a very messy house. They took the kids but were able to get them back by proving they cleaned up and took some classes.

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G.B.

answers from Tulsa on

In most cases the child welfare workers should have done a thorough investigation before taking the children into custody. If they are taken the the obvious thoughts are that the family is not taking care of their children. Whether that is because of finances, lifestyle, parenting issues, or anything else. The parents have made some very big mistakes that needs to be addressed by the court system and the pparents will have to follow their plan for reunification and make the needed changes.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I know that it's easier to get a dog removed from a home, than it is to have a child removed, so yes--I guess I do judge when I hear that a child has been removed by CPS. I'm sure there are exceptions to every rule.

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S.B.

answers from Austin on

It's ironic that you bring this question up, my DH and I were just discussing something similar last night.

We have 2 young children that we adopted through foster care. They were removed due to neglect, domestic violence between the parents and to our 2 kids' older half siblings, and extensive drug use by the parents. After reading their files, I was a bit shocked they hadn't been removed sooner than they were, it amazed me what CPS did accept as an excuse before.

As mentioned in an earlier post, reunification is always the goal. They give the parents many attempts to clean up their acts before they act on the termination of the parental rights. But after reading the files on our kids, as well as a couple of others that we were considered for prior to our placement, I hate to say it, but yeah, I guess I would judge to an extent. But the thought does cross my mind that I feel bad for their birth mother sometimes. I wonder if she thinks about them, or has regrets now, or is looking for them. But there is also a good chance that she is off getting high and relieved that she doesn't have to worry about taking care of them anymore.

With all that being said, my job is to be more concerned for the children. I know first hand the effects that all of this has had on my children. I have seen everything from major tantrums, OCD, sexual acting out, and more. And this is from children that were removed at the ages fo 2 and 3. You can only imagine what the older ones go through. My daughter told me just yesterday that she forgets what her old mom looks like now. She was sad, and it made me sad. Even though I couldn't be more happy than to have her in my life, it saddens me that she ever had to go through it.

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L.M.

answers from New York on

When I hear that someone was reported or being investigated by CPS, I don't really think much of it. It can be for a multitude of reasons, including an accident or a false report. However, when I first hear that the kids have been taken away, I will judge. Of course, I always try to keep an open mind and realize that I don't know the whole story, as there are always different versions and perceptions of what the actual truth is.

This has been my observation...
My daughter's BF (before my daughter met her) was taken away by CPS, and has been returned. Her life is very difficult, her parents are very immature, and I beleive her father is a an acholic. However, from what she tells me her life in a foster home wasn't much better.

I know people that have been investigated by CPS for false allegations. The children were not taken away and the cases were closed.

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H.P.

answers from Houston on

I don't make assumptions about people.

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J.O.

answers from Austin on

If the children are back with them, then they have had the strength to overcome a problem that they once faced. If the children are not, then I would pray that they are working on overcoming the issue and that they are successful.

We all have issues. No one is perfect.

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