Couples Counseling - Midway City,CA

We did couples/marital counseling for a few months... in fact, in the car on the way to our last appointment, we had trouble coming up with things to talk about during our appointment. During that same appointment, our doctor smiled and said 'I don't think I really need to see you guys anymore.' HOW WONDERFUL!! It's so great getting mediation and having that outside opinion... even if your insurance doesn't cover it, consider it an investment towards your future. I highly recommend it to anyone and everyone. It's like going to your PCP... even if you're feeling fine, you go get physicals to prevent health issues in the future. Couples counseling is for your mental health, as a couple. We did sessions together and separately as well, and it's all made a HUGE world of difference! Best wishes and good luck!! :)

Couples counseling can be great- IF both parts of the couple really commit to it and commit to changing their behavior. If you and your husband BOTH honestly want to fix things in your marriage and neither of you is just 'going along with it' then I would say you have a good chance of it being really helpful to you.

But if either of you is not totally committed to changing behavior, communicating better and sticking with whatever choices you make in counseling, then no, my experience has been that one person is not enough to change or fix or save anything.

But absolutely try it and if you and your partner are equally committed, I bet it will be great for you! Good luck

It saved my marriage. We are more open with each other now, but lately have been having issues (due to my husband being out of work for so long) but I tell EVERYONE that this saved our marriage when I was ready to walk out. I would definitely recommend it, but go into it knowing it will be the hardest thing you will ever do. It made us stronger in the end, but a lot of things came out there that wouldn't otherwise have come out. Good luck!

Yes, it works, in fact, it saved my marriage. I had my bags packed with one foot out the door when I agreed to wait 6 months to leave, and attend counseling during that time. To start we both saw her alone once a week, and together once a week, and than after a few weeks started doing singles one week and a couple session the next. We stayed in counseling for a year. It really opened out eyes to so much we did not see, did not understand. We approach each other in a new way now, and it has been 2 years since that time when I almost ended it.

The first battle is that everyone wants to go............if that is the case, and it sounds like it is, then yes, I think it will help.

Don't take the first person you talk to......be sure to look around, see a few and then make your decision, unless you already have someone in mind, like a minister or someone like that.

You go however long you feel you need to go.......and sometimes one person needs to go longer than another, but it's up to you.

I've been married 29 years, and I can tell you the biggest problem..........communication!!!! That doesn't mean just talking to each other, it means knowing HOW to talk to each other.........there are certain words, whether we like it or not, that set us off.........from usually a bad past experience....so knowing HOW to say something is as important as saying something.........tone of voice is another one...........so learning to speak to each other and listen to each other is important.........

Either way, it sounds like you two need to work together and then you will see that things will be better..........

There is a book, it's called The 5 Love Languages, I can't remember who wrote it, but you should read it........it's not very expensive and it's good for you both...........please check it out.... It's by Gary Chapman I believe.

Take care and good luck.

Dear A.,
COuples counseling has been a blessing for us. We love each other and couples counseling gave us the tools to work through our problems that our parental backgrounds/households could not give us. (does that make sense?)

BIG TIP: IF YOU DECIDE TO GO TO ONE -- SHOP AROUND FOR A GOOD COUPLES COUNSELOR AND TRUST YOUR INSTINCT IF YOU DON'T LIKE ONE. I write this as my husband did not like our first one, so we left. and the second one was truly a destructive force. I really think (and my husband agrees) that she did not like me and wanted us not to be together. (and yes, she has impressive degrees etc.) I got us out of there and found someone wonderful.

Upshot: Our current counsellor has really helped us and given us the tools for a great relationship.

Best of luck on what you decide.
Jilly

Marriage counseling has been one of the biggest blessings in my relationship with my husband (third only to me strengthening my Christian faith and us having our kids!) Being able to speak with someone who is completely unbiased and will listen without judgement is the part that most benefitted us. We started to look to our therapist as a mediator and would hold off on certain arguments until we knew it was time for our weekly session. This not only helped us avoid the heat of the moment argument, but it also gave us time to diffuse. Plus our therapist gave us tools on how to communicate and reassurance that certain things are normal. I DEFINITELY 100% recommend couples counseling for ALL marriages!!!

My husband and I went to therapy together for 3 years on and off. We learned a lot of great techniques on how to communicate better and how to put each other first. We found it very helpful and now that our therapist has retired we are really having to put all those things we learned to use!!! Every couple is different and how much you need will depend on your problems and how each of you put the time in to change. Good luck. I think it is awesome that you are gonna try this before heading straight to court! Best wishes.

Yes it works but BOTH of you have to want to make it work.

"Life throws tons of obstacles at couples, if you two are built for greatness, you conquer them together. If you two aren't meant for greatness together, you conquer them apart."

From reading your post, I believe you two are built for greatness....

Best of luck to you! Keep us posted!

Couples counseling is great and can be very helpful as long as you have a good counselor. Many therapists don't have a very high success rate. I recently discovered a great resource that I wanted to recommend. Dr. Dana Fillmore, a marriage counselor and Clinical Psychologist offers an online video course to dramatically improve your marriage.

One of the chapters in the course focuses on Spending Time Together just like you mentioned above. When you spend quality time together, it makes everything in your relationship easier. You're right that it's very important.

There's a free offer for mamapedia members where you can get three free videos from Dr. Dana Fillmore with advice to help your marriage. You might want to check it out. Here's the link: http://strongmarriagenow.com/blog/mamapedia

It works even if only one of you watches the videos. I watched them first myself and felt immediate benefit. After a while, I got my husband to watch them too. I could never get him to read a book but it actually ended up being surprisingly easy to get him to watch the videos since each one is around 5-10 minutes long.

Good luck! Your marriage is worth saving!

If you're both willing to work on your marriage together... That's a perfect start. It certainly would be a good thing since you're both on board.