Bummed :(

LOL, just had to chime in...
The first (and most judgemental response, I think?) came from the mom who expects her very GROWN and SUCCESSFUL son to live with her and take care of her, upon HER terms, and the poor guy hasn't even had a chance to have a wife and kids!!!
You are doing JUST fine, kids really don't remember preschool at all. Keep a loving and stable home, that's ALL that matters.
And this is coming from a ridiculously involved SAHM :)

I always send an extra dozen eggs, because I know someone will have forgotten theirs...that someone a couple of times was ME!!

Things happen...my son didn't wear pajamas on one of the pajama days, he lived. I have forgotten to send stuff on the correct day...missed deadlines for fundraisers.

I like to think I get it right more than I forget...but things happen...I am sending you a hug and I know you will bounce back on the next one!! :-)

I like to joke that I homeschool so I don't have to remember all that stuff. My fulltime job is being a mom and I still forget stuff. I bought a huge dry erase calendar with two months on it. Everyone has a color and we put everything on there. If I have to bring snack for soccer for one kid I write it on there in that kid's color. It helps, but I still have my moments. Kids are pretty forgiving.

Lordy!! Lot's of people have their judgepants on today.

You forgot. It sucks. You're human. Move on.

Did you child have a full belly, a warm bed and clean clothes when he went to sleep last night? Is he safe, does he know he's loved? If you answered yes, you've done your job, the rest is extra.

If you're one of those Moms who does everything for their child, goes above and beyond and never forgets anything *slow clap* bravo, good for you. If you're one of those Moms who tries to do all that but is human and screws up and falls some where between attempt and successful completion *standing ovation* you're a good Mommy and are doing your best to make all the ends meet and keep all the balls you are juggeling in the air.

Don't be too h*** o* yourself.

Oh sister. How could you forget about it? You're human. And it's an egg hunt.

I mean, can you imagine your child on a therapist's couch as an adult, moaning, "My life started going downhill that day my mother forgot about my preschool egg hunt. I will never forgive her for that."

Tee hee. Of course not. Mothers are human and it's not as though you forgot your child at the store, or some such thing.

If it makes you feel any better, I'd forget my own head if it weren't strapped onto my shoulders by my neck. No, you're not alone.

You do what you can do.
In my house, if it's not written on my calendar...it doesn't happen.
As SOON as you get info about an "event" write it on the calendar!

I have a 3rd grader and it has taken me until now to forgive myself for not being on top of every single:
dog food food pantry food drive,
art project tchotchkes fundraiser permission slip,
book fair Family night,
paper contribution for recycling on every third Wed,
basket weaving teacher appreciation day,
treats for the "special teachers" on Valentine's Day,
parent academy workshop about doing homework....

Sigh.
It's exhausting.
I have O..

Believe me, you feel WAY worse about it than your preschooler.
Let it go and forgive yourself.
Moms are humans, too!

oh my gosh, jumping in here, but wow, I forgot a whole bunch of stuff in my child raising time. Funny thing is they still love you. And it is definitely a wonderful way to teach children that we are human, can like ourselves in spite of our faults and imperfections.

I feel secure knowing there are so many absolutely perfect mommies out there keeping the world safe. But, if you're part of the other 99% of us, sometimes these things happen. I can have 100 electronic reminders and STILL forget if I'm having one of those weeks. Some of us have demanding and stressful jobs and <oh noes!> are not perfect. But, like OneandDone, if it's not written down, it didn't happen. If your kid is happy and healthy, you've done your job.

You are not alone! And ignore the posts from people who apparently think they are perfect. Don't compare yourself to others. Usually we end up comparing our weaknesses to others' strengths. That's not fair to ourselves. We all have areas of parenting where we are rock stars, while other areas need work. Instead of letting this bum you out, apologize to your son and move on. The parenting priority should be to make sure your child knows they are loved and you are present in their life. If you're doing that, then missing a few things here or there isn't catastrophic :) Take him to a community egg hunt and call it good.

ETA: Just read your So What Happened. Sounds like you have your priorities straight! Good for you :) Glad it all worked out.

Don't beat yourself up. Every mom has a blunder at some point. No one is perfect.

If you think the judgmental moms are "perfect", go read some of their questions which show blatent selfishness among other insecurities.

Yes it's preschool and he won't remember.

You just make very conscious efforts to get everything on your calendar. I live by my calendar and I still sometimes have a slip up.

Work on your scheduling, make sure you have all dates/times confirmed and improve your methods.

Always remember, no one is perfect even if they seem to think and act as if they are.

As a mom of two that works on average 45 hours a week I completely understand. Wednesday was my youngest's egg hunt and despite the fact that all they asked for was eggs and I put reminders on my calendar at home and in my phone I almost forgot. If the school hadn't put giant signs on the door to the center, classroom and about 3 down every hallway I would have remembered. Even then I forgot her basket. Even today the center mentioned the schoolers were having a cookout and egg hunt tomorrow and there were signs all over the place saying the eggs were due today. Thank goodness they said I can bring them tomorrow so here I am at almost 9:00 pm going to get the eggs and stuff to fill them.

That being said I can't remember a time my mom forgot something when I was growing up - I know she did (we are exactly alike) so it must not have damaged me too much. When they get older and you forget a sports game, concert, play - they will remember. At this age it's all relative. They took my daughter's eggs and placed them in a bundle with all the other eggs so he probably didn't even realize that he was missing out. There weren't that many kids that brought baskets either so I know she didn't care about that. Don't beat yourself up over something like that. They grow up too fast to get hung up on the little stuff like that. Do what you can.....we aren't perfect and it isn't worth the stress to make it so we are.

Oy. I don't know one single parent who remembers every single little thing on the school calendar to bring and participate in and do their fair share for. We're not expected to "do it all." Stuff happens.

Do you step up on other classroom projects? If you can say yes then don't worry about it.

Besides, if your family celebrates Easter then your child is likely going to have more Easter goodies than he knows what to do with. It's the family events that mean the most to us and our children because we get to participate in them together and take pictures and share in those memories.

You're a working mom, both out of the home AND in the home. I can understand a brain fart here and there. I'm a stay-at-home mom and I still have the brain farts on certain things and I keep notes, calendars, electronic calendar reminders, text reminders, you name it. Something slips through my system at some point. Anyone who tells you they always have it all under control all the time is lying.

Julie B gives good advice! I, too, would be lost without the alerts on my iPhone. I set several alerts - one for a few days before (if it requires preparation of any kind) and then one for a day/hour/few minutes before, so I don't forget to get whatever it is there on time.

Although one time recently, I failed to set an alert on my phone and we missed a ballet rehearsal for my younger daughter. I just about wanted to die when I realized what I had done. Ugggggh! I called the director and apologized, and she had a very small role anyway, but STILL!

Have a glass of wine, and try and make it up to him this weekend. There's only so much we can all do in an average day/week/lifetime.

We have all been there ~ don't sweat it!

My mother forgot to pick me up after training one day, and another time after a school social. There I was, alone in the dark (apart from the five other kids whose moms also forgot them) wondering if i was ever going to see my home again. I still love her.

You sound like a mom who has her priorities straight - working hard to put food on the table, a roof over your family's head, exhibiting a great work ethic, while still trying your best in all the other areas. Good on you mom. Doing a great job!

I think your post really shows something needs to change in your life. Like...priorities. I'm not saying that to be mean. All moms and dads have come to that point in their life one time or another.

ETA: Good lord people, I wasn't judging her!! Also, I didn't mean your priorities for your SON needed to be changed. I was talking about your TIME. Like, prioritizing your time, making calenders, reorganizing...so that things aren't forgotten as much. (We all forget sometimes.) YOU said you were out of touch, and mismanaged. I was talking about those things. Time management, etc. Nothing about your love for your son. Man, those who talked about judging really judged my response. Go figure!!! As far as I remember, I've never claimed to be perfect. Nor, do my questions reflect that I "show blatant selfishness among other insecurities."

I am part of that 1% of perfect mommies out there. :oP
That's why I took my 2nd grader to school on a teacher workday. Sent him in running because I thought we were late, there were no kids on the playground, so he must have been really tardy, right. Only to get home and get a phone call from his teacher that a very sad little boy is in school on a no school day.
Oh and I'm so perfect that I lost my 3 year old in Wall Drug in South Dakota. ONly to find her in the hands of some wonderful grandma waiting for her absent minded mommy.
I have forgotten to sign permission slips, forgotten kids at the pool, the soccer field, forgotten birthdays, yes I did!!

My very organized MIL forgot my husband's cousin at a rest area because she was busy getting her kids into their seats, she just forgot that she had an extra. He survived, can't even remember what happened, but my MIL and aunt tell the story every Thanksgiving.

He'll be OK. And by the time he is a senior, if it is important to him he will hound you until you do something.

Maybe this is a sign that something has to change?

It happens. We've all forgotten about things. Preschool is probably the time to do it since they've got so few memories from this time! Maybe you can change your calendar to something with better reminders? He'd love to have an egg hunt at home this weekend, I'm sure!

Nobody remembers preschool. :)

Now take him to McDonald's. Let him play on the gym for as long as he wants.

And it's your job, you're the mom - to make sure all this is taken care of. Post the school schedule on your fridge. Let's not let this happen again. :)

You've been on my mind all afternoon. I really wanted to respond sooner (especially after reading the first 4 responses), but I was also having a very busy day.

Oh have I been there!!! It is so easy to get down on ourselves, especially when we see so many other moms who see to have it all under control. I just went to a mom's night out last night, and we all talked about just that. We talked about all of our choices and they good things they have brought and that nagging feeling of "what if." I am now working full time and I know it was the right decision for so many reasons but there are those times when I wonder "what if." In business they call it the "opportunity cost." Every decision we make has an "opportunity cost," which is that which we have to say "no" to in order to say "yes" to whatever we're saying "yes" to.

I've heard people say "You can't have it all." I really believe there is truth to that. We are only human, and we can't do everything. We can only do what we can do, and we have to do our best during times like this to remind ourselves that we are doing our best and will continue to do our best, but sometimes we forget.

You're little guy really is ok, but I truly know how you feel. We just want our little ones to have a great, happy childhood and we beat ourselves up when we let them down. Try to think of all the great things you are doing right, and give yourself permission to smile. You deserve it!

Happy Easter!.

The only way I keep up with this stuff is by putting it all on my iPhone calendar the MINUTE I find out about it! I then set up two alerts -usually one for a day or two in advance, and another for a few hours before the event. That way I can buy stuff if needed or get it together and have it ready to send or take. That's the only reason I remembered to stop and get 40 plastic eggs for my youngest son's preschool egg hunt tomorrow -on the way to pick him up this afternoon. Program your phone calendar -it's a lifesaver!

Oh honey, don't you worry. Don't give yourself a hard time.
It is okay. He won't even remember this.
You love and take care of your kids.........THAT'S what is important.

oh honey. we all do this sometimes, and it's especially hard with working mamas. i am so much like you. i'm not organized to start with, and when my boys were little i was working 3 jobs and out of my mind.
try not to let your stress consume you. you think you're hiding these emotions from your kids, but you're not. remember that for him it was a fun egg hunt, and whether or not mommy got the right date in her planner or contributed the right amount isn't an issue. his wonderful preschool people stepped it up and made sure he wasn't negatively affected, so try not to let your guilt and worry seep in there.
you'll have plenty of opportunities to pay it forward. you really will.
:) khairete
S.

Modern day parenting is like an endurance test for Mommys (sometimes Daddys too). There are so many little deadlines and expectations that just weren't around when I was a kid. Back then most Moms didn't work outside the home, they had more time but didn't follow their kids around handing them snacks and making sure every little need was met.
Some things just matter more. I mean sure he'll be disappointed sometimes when you forget or your late or you didn't pack something he wanted or you missed the party or you forgot to set up the play date. Those things happen to everyone occasionally. The pressure is usually all on Mom and in the event of a mistake the judgement usually comes from other adults not the child.
I set my whole life up around raising my girls, I volunteer right and left, drive them everywhere, cook dinner almost every night and do so many things I enjoy and feel will help them to be successful adults. I am lucky enough to work from home in my own time. I have a lot of opportunity to do EVERYTHING that seems to be important to being a Mom these days but I STILL forget things sometimes.
If you remember most things that are important to him, if he knows you love him unconditionally and that he is the light of your life he will thrive. If you listen to his stories and answer his questions, help him figure things out and admit when your wrong he will respect you. Forget the judgement from others, forget that he didn't have the basket just remember what is REALLY important and make sure he knows you're there for him.
It gets a lot harder as they grow, you have to decide sometimes where to put your resources, you just can't do everything. If your working outside the home there is a lot you just can't do. So focus on the things that he cares about, make sure he knows you "get it" when it comes to the stuff high on his list. Then let the rest go, you forgot, it's over don't let your feelings of guilt take a moment away from being with your son.

:) I'm late to the party!
A big BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO to the uppity perfect answers. REALLY?????? I don't know who you think you're foolin!!!!!!??

I have to tell you that I was CONVINCED that my son's egg hunt was THURSDAY. I sent the eggs to school fine (sent on Tuesday as requested) but I was supposed to send cookies for the party. I was going to take him Wed night to get them so they'd be fresher. My lil man (4 yo) TOLD me that his party was Wednesday, but I had Thursday in my head....sooooo no cookies were sent. When he showed me his goodies from the party, he said "SEEEE Mommy my party was today!!!" LOL He got me there!!!

Keep doing what you are doing Mama...

I have a great big white board spot that I painted. As soon as the notes come home I put it on there with the date and any other appts etc.

Yes you are not alone I forgot to send my son's snacks for his helper day.. that also meant he didn't bring anything for show and tell on his special day. I have forgotten other things also but this is the most recent.

Stuff happens and Im sure the teachers had extras just in case something like this happens.

Us mom's are only human and stuff like this happens. Just try to do better the next time is all we can after its all said and done. But now its time to move things around and try for this not to happen anymore.

We all make mistakes. I'm sure your child knows you didn't do it on purpose. Take some time this evening to enjoy some special one-on-one time with your little guy and I'm sure all will be forgiven. Now forgive yourself.

I think we've all done this at one time or another. I do it so often (not really forgetting the occasion but the date / time) that my friends at work call me "mother of the year" (in a joking way). On Wednesday I asked around about buying the colored hairspray because I was sure that it was crazy hair night at church. I rushed after work to buy some so he wouldn't be the only kid without 'crazy hair'. After baseball practice, I sprayed his whole head of hair with neon green spray and dropped him off at church only to find out that next Wednesday is crazy hair day...lol! Thankfully he didn't seem to embarrassed.
The last two years I've also sent him to school for picture day only to find out that picture day was the following day..lol!
It happens to best of us..don't be too bummed. As you stated in your SWH, I think schools are usually prepared for this type of stuff and keep extras on hand in the event someone forgets.

I put things like this on my Yahoo calendar and program them to send me reminders on my preference. Like the Easter Egg Hunt they had today. I put it in as soon as the note came home. Then I set the reminder for 2 days ahead, 1 day ahead, then put another calendar event in for the same thing but it reminded me 24 hours ahead and then again for 12 hours ahead. I was at Walmart last night at 8pm getting him a basket/bucket and a dozed pre-filled eggs with peace signs and stars on them.

Then I left them in the car in the front seat so I wouldn't forget them this morning...lol.

The girl had one too but did not bring the note home. I did call her school though and was told they were not having anything in her age group. She came home crying, she was the only one that did not bring anything.

It is sad but you need to find a way to be more organized. ONLY USE ONE ELECTRONIC CALENDAR. Or you could find you can't find a date for anything.
____________________________
An option we did before smart phones was buy monthly calendars at a local business supply store. Then I wrote each thing on the calendar with a colored marker for that color child. The girls favorite color used to be orange so all her activities were circled in orange, his has always been red. I used stickers for different stuff too.

A permanent calendar, individual, bought separately and can be used for any month. This way they can't be erased, dropped in water, etc...nothing can mess them up if they are in a good area.

I would use old style school stickers on each day they had school so I would not have to keep up with the school calendar they send home the first of school. I put soccer ball stickers on soccer practice days with the time written beside, and circled with the color needed. I used all sorts of stickers from Hobby Lobby, baseballs for T-Ball, a gymnast for gym and tumbling, a ballerina for dance, hearts for church, rainbows for something, I don't know, I have drawers of them and I still have several years of these individual calendars. They fit on the lower front of my fridge that had the freezer on the top.

I got used to looking at it and knowing who had something coming up that week that I needed to take care of. It helps to have visual reminders. I got a different style fridge and the calendars like this don't work now. I use a smaller version of that style and have it on the wall outside my bathroom in front of the washer and dryer. That way it is in the main walking area of the home and I see it numerous times of the day.

I always made SURE I did everything I needed to do for my children, above and beyond. The hell with the rest. No excuse and no sympathy from me.

You need to write these things down and have a designated station in your home that you know you will look at everyday. I feel bad that the school didn't have extras on hand to make sure no kid would be left out, that sounds strange to me. If writing these things down doesn't work, use your smart phone (assuming you have one) or a small tape recorder that you can record these messages on and each night play everything back to yourself so you can remember better.

Lordy yes.

My husband is a stay-at-home Dad, he gets the notices, doesn't communicate well about these things with me, other than emailing me a "Cosi calendar" and then all of this kind of stuff either falls to me - OR - I have to remind him (nevermind that my work calendar is about to make my head explose, he emailed me *his*, so I am supposed to remember it). If we BOTH get an email from the teacher, he tells me he didn't get it (uh uh, saw your email on there buddy) so it falls to me again.

I can call BS on him, but that doesn't take care of the kids and I won't penalize them for their Dad's choices. My husband is *not* a bad guy but our roles are not what we were cut out for, just what we ended up with, and well, all the MOM stuff still lands on MOM. And simply - I can't do all of the work stuff and THAT too. Thank GOODNESS for understanding teachers and parents.

True confession...when my daughter was 2, I remembered the Apple Juice boxes that I had to send for her Valentine's party while we were en-route to school and about 20 minutes before the party. I wheeled into Walgreens to pick some up, and turns out that Walgreens does not sell Apple Juice boxes. Awesome. With no other grocery nearby and running out of time, I went through ChickFilA's drive through, ordered 8 juice boxes, and paid something like $12 for them. I practically threw them at the teacher when we finally got to school. There are times I would rather just send a few extra bucks to school to cover party costs on some of this stuff. The same year, on Easter Party day, we were at Walgreens purchasing 6 pre-filled eggs. As I was driving to work, proud of myself for my quick thinking on purchasing those Snickers filled eggs, I suddenly realized....Snickers...peanuts...Nooooooo....the school is a peanut-free zone. I ended up having to call the school to have the director pull the eggs.
Honestly, it is a comedy of errors for many of us. This year, my daugther saw some prefilled eggs that she wanted to get for her friends, so we bought 2 boxes a month in advance. We only had to send 12, but I had 36 purchased. So, we covered some extras :-) I"m getting a bit better at predicting what is coming up and what the school is going to need. I try to plan to take things that are non-perishable and that I can buy in advance (i.e. - while I'm thinkng about it) and either keep it in the car until the day or even just taking it in to let them store until needed. Any forms that are needed either never leave my car or never leaver the school if there's any hope of them being returned on-time. If I fill it out and have it in the car, I can always run it in when I think about it or see the reminder that they're due. At the end of the day, we can only do so much, right?

All I can say is THANK GOODNESS our dentist calls the day ahead to remind us of appts. I think we can all claim a certain amount of "perfection" in one way or another in regards to our parenting. List making is mine, and I am generally very organized (4 kids, three schools, dh works at two places, and I own a small business...that's a lot of paper and forms and filing) but come ON. Who in this day and age doesn't forget SOMETHING?

I'm glad the school had your back, that was very thoughtful of them :)

I suggest you do something special to make this up to your child and then re-assess your priorities.