Building Confidence in My Child

S.-
My daughter is a bright girl, does well academically, but lacks confidence, too. Part of her problem, we think, is that her brother is exceptional in pretty much all the things she wants to excel in. For years, we've encouraged her just in our words and actions: "you can do it!" "you're a smart young lady..don't be afraid of it" "you ARE smart" "think for yourself, you don't have to do what others are doing because you're smart enough to figure it out," etc. She's in 3rd grade this year, and FINALLY, we're seeing that she's gaining confidence. She is thinking for herself. She's got the confidence (sometimes too much?!) to read some pretty hard books; do the hard work; try some challenging things. She even ran the mile run in phy ed this year without complaining! When we see her doing something we think is challenging, we build her up, too. (You rode the WHOLE WAY on your bike and didn't have to push once! You rock!...) At first, it felt ridiculous to comment on things we just do or take for granted, but by her smile, we could see that it meant something to her. Now, even brother will help build her up.

Good luck!

I hope this doesn't sound bad...but instead of relying on the internet for your son to learn how to read, why not go to the library and get some books for him. Read to him and with him often. I don't believe in using electronic toys (like leapster etc.) or the internet to teach my children anything because I firmly believe that when kids learn in this type of media they expect everything to be easy and the computer/game etc usually gives an answer before the child has time to sit and think. We read to both of our children at least 3 books every night (which is probably not enough). With our 4 year old we sometimes stop while we are reading to sound out the words or just focus on one word that repeats a lot in the book so that she can recognize it and feel proud when she gets it. Reading is not easy and like anything else will take time. Kids get more self esteem when they figure something out that is hard for them to do then when it is handed to them on a platter (like some of these toys or internet games do). Just support them and encourage them by taking both boys to the library, have them get their own library card, and let them check out lots of books to read.

Goodluck. They will get it with practice.

Hi S.,
www.starfall.com is one website my boys really enjoy! Merry Christmas!!

our school has links to different websites. one that is realyy fun for kids and learn to read is call starfire.com. my son loves playing on it and it has helped him in reading.

Hi S.! Can you have a weekly library date where he can choose his own easy chapter books? Then he can read to you when you get home. The best practice environment is a safe one!
When I was in the 4th grade I was petrified of playing the piano in front of people. Recitals were torture for me! My teacher made it mandatory that I go to the nursing home each month and play for the residents. It was the best thing I could have done. The people were such a great, encouraging audience! They would applaud heartily for each song and ask for more. My confidence grew to the point where I was doing solo recitals with ease. I continued to play for my friends at the care center until I was a senior in high school.
I think your family seems so encouraging to your son...all he needs is to practice so he can know the truth...."I can do it!"

Try starfall.com ir enchantedlearning.com my kids haven't used them for awhile but, when we first discovered it they were crazy about them.