Biting off More than We Can Chew? .. Long

Make a list. You don't need to get everything right away.

We moved from a 1200sf house to a 3400sf house. Needless to say, there is a LOT of empty space in our house. Our upstairs living room has 2 chairs in it. The little office next to it has a kitty lounger in it. The upstairs family room....the dog's crate and stuff.

We are patiently focused on paying all of our debts and taking our time in making purchases. We discuss what we really need, and what can wait. Yes, we'd love to redo our outdated, tiny kitchen right now....but that's several thousand dollars that can be used to pay off a student loan. So it can wait. Our kitchen works.

Yes, we'd like to watch "The Walking Dead" and "Love it or List It" on cable...but that's $60 a month (or more) that we save. And we watch when we get it from a friend on a hard drive.

So really think about what you need. NEED.

From your post:

just last night we realized that there is no washer nd dryer in the apartment and if we get them how do we hook them up or can we afford to go hav our laundry done or am i going to have to go to my parents twicea week anddo laundry?

Slow down. Talk to your family who is doing the work in the place and see if there is somewhere to put a washer and dryer. Then start looking on Craigslist. Buy used. Also check out used appliance stores in the area. Often they'll have refurbished sets with warranties. You can live a few weeks with doing laundry at your parent's while you're searching for an excellent deal.

Then the question came up of well we ar going to have to get cable and some kind of internet service.

No, dear, you DON'T need cable. Cable can wait. So can internet. Put that on the back burner for now. Or just get internet. Wait on cable.

Oh and we have toget another tv.

Not yet. You can survive with one TV. Wait.

Oh and the bedroom doesnt have a closet in it so we need dressers.

Again, this is not an emergency. You can create a makeshift closet using simple hanger bar brackets and a closet bar. For about $20 at the most. Use plastic totes or boxes for temporary storage of folded clothing. Then start scouring Craigslist and the garage sales (which will be starting as soon as it warms up) for a great deal on dressers. Save your money.

If we put the dishwasher in we are going to lose cabinet space, how much cabinet space do we need? do we really need the dishwasher?

A dishwasher is a nice to have, not a must. You can put this aside for a while. Once you do put it in, consider using a closet near the kitchen as a pantry so you don't waste cabinet space on food.

We have no table for in the living room.

Not required. Just wait and watch for a good deal, like you do with the dressers. Consider making one out of craft crates. There's a cute one on Pinterest. It'll probably cost about $40 to make.

It just seems like one thing after another that i keep coming up with that we never discussed thats going to add more costs for the fixup and for our monthly budget and i honestly dont know tatwe can afford it

Like I said, make a list. There are needs and there are wants. You CAN live without most things for a while.

Best,

C. Lee

ETA: You MUST have a budget. Not just for this move and all the projects involved, but for EVERY SINGLE MONTH. You need to be tracking your income and outgo to ensure you don't end up in trouble.

Check out the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University series. There are books that go with it. Create a budget and spending plan....and stick to it no matter what.

I would totally back out of this deal now. There were a lot of red flags in your post. Your aunt wasn't worried about renting it out, she was going to claim the loss, you guys decided you would move in instead of the aunt offering, etc.

It would be one thing if the apartment needed some paint. You are talking major improvements here. Even with your aunt only asking half of what the previous tenant was paying, look at where you are living. Is it really worth that? Like some others have said, your aunt will benefit from the improvements you will make. You won't see that money back at all. You're basically going to be making a full rent payment by paying for repairs. Absolutely no way you should be spending your savings to fix structural repairs in a rental that you have no stake in. Keep building up your savings until you can get into a decent place to live.

I think 'the windows bowed out' and the condition of the bathroom are the main things that alarm me.
Are you sure this place is structurally sound?
Add in the weight of your furniture and I'd be worried you might fall through the floor.
Carpet needs to be ripped out and possibly replaced (depending on what is underneath it).
I don't know how old the paint is but if it's got lead in it, that could be big trouble.
All peeling paint will have to be scraped/sanded and painted over.
The bathroom - it's not a room you can live without.
Tiling can be expensive and why is the old stuff falling off?
Is there a lot of water damage?
And if there IS water damage you have to wonder about mold (and insects - termites, roaches, etc. Oh, and don't forget rodents - rats/mice.).
Mold can be BAD news and it can majorly affect the health of everyone living with it.
Honestly it sounds like a run down slum lord tenement apartment.
I'd have a real problem bringing a child of mine into that environment and calling it home.
Your Aunt will sell it eventually (yeah it might be 10 years from now but what if it's only 1 or 2 years from now?).
The money/materials you put into it you will never get out of it again.

Any remodeling job can be stressful - solid long term marriages can go through some rough patches over this kind of thing.

It's comedy and it's funny, but it's informative at the same time - go get a DVD of "The Money Pit" (1986 - Tom Hanks, Shelly Long) and watch it 3 times.
It's funny when it happens to someone else - it's maddening when you have to live through it up close and in person.

Your daughter is a baby right now, but in a few years she'll be going to school.
What are the schools like in that neighborhood?

You've got a LOT to think about.
If you do decide to go ahead with it - make the repairs before you move in.
You don't want to have to live and breathe in plaster dust (and it gets into everything).

If this were someone else, a stranger, who owned this place, would you be doing all this work and still paying half the rent??
This is your aunt's responsibility. I know you don't understand because you are a financial newby, but she owns this place, therefore she will own all the improvements you make on this apartment. Whether she pays for any or not. My gut is sending out many alarms. If the woman didn't even go in there for a year, she will not be around when anything in this place goes south.
If you spend $6000 on repairs and fixes, that's $500 a month for a year. That place would NEVER rent for $500 a month in the disrepair it's in.
It is going to cost at least that much. Flooring alone, will cost that much.
Then it still wouldn't be Your flooring, it would be hers. If during this renovation you reveal termite damage or mold that has to be remediated, who's paying for that? In general, renovations cost twice as much as you think and take twice as long. If something breaks or stops working, like a water heater, in a regular apartment, the super justs puts in a new one. No problem. Your Aunt is not going to do that. At any month in time, you will not only be renting but potentionally footing a bill for major repairs. Your H's labor won't even be a factor to anybody. They will just expect it. What if your H gets hurt by doing this? Your Aunt is not going to go to her insurance about it. What if you disagree about the quality of workmanship or materials?

Please put this to paper before you do anything.

This is a good way to cause a rift in a family. You need a contract stating everything financial about this and you don't need to be paying any rent if you go through with this. You could try to do it Rent to Own, which would make things yours that you put into it.

Good luck.

I wouldn't set foot into the apartment until the aunt does the needed physical repairs and buys the appliances etc. It is illegal for her to make you pay for the work in the apartment.

This sounds like a money pit and you will be worse off if you accept this and agree to pay for the damages. These damages even with the construction help you have in your family can and will cost thousands of dollars.

Don't do it!

Is there a lot of work? Yes, absolutely. But this is a great opportunity for you. You have volunteers for all the labor (a huge expense) and people who are familiar with the property. While they are fixing the toilet they might be able to find a way to plumb a washer dryer (even if you don't buy one yet). These are issues that you are going to run into on any starter home.

DO come up with a budget as well as a priority list. There are tools online that will help you figure out the costs of materials as well as list items you might forget. Lastly don't be afraid of looking 'out of the box' for materials. There are many building materials recycling stores that can cut out a huge amount of expense.

You are absolutely right that you need to sit down and list out everything you need and how much it will all cost.

I know you want to move out of your parents house, and that's a good thing. Everyone needs to work towards independence. But, you may be able to rent an inexpensive apartment that isn't falling down for less by the time you add in buying appliances and furniture, plus the repair costs.

And one important question I have: is the aunt paying to have the apartment fixed up? She should be paying all expenses related to the project. If that is also coming out of your budget, I'd pass. This is her property, she should pay the expenses to make it livable, especially since you are going to pay her rent to live there. I would feel differently if she said - this place is in bad shape, if you put in the work to make it liveable, you can live there for free. But she's not. You are doing the work AND paying her rent. It sounds to me like you may be taken advantage of.

I think you need to step back and look at the cost going into this and what you are getting out of it. This is not your place, you do not own it, so every penny you put into it is gone. Unless you plan on buying this place or work something legally out with your aunt, I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't even offer a penny to stay there if you are going to be putting both money and time into it. I guess you could look at teh repairs as your "rent" but even so you have to factor in the time. If you get an apartment, you could end up paying the same, they handle all these repairs and you have your time back! As for the details inside, those will work themselves out and you can find ways to improvise.

So are you going to be paying rent? If so your aunt should be the one fixing this stuff up. If you are living there for free then I can see you having to do it. I would not worry about a washer and dryer right now. Didn't you say your aunt and grandmother live next door? See if you can use theirs that way you are right there and don't have to haul it too far. Yes there is work to be done but there is nothering that says it all has to be done before you move in. Make sure they do the important things like that bathroom and the floors. I only say the floors before cause it will be harder to do once things are moved in. Try not to stress too much. I know easier said than done. Things will work out!! good luck!

I think you do need to lay out your budget, but I think that if this space is available and you can swing it, the "value" is also getting out into your OWN home. Take this as an opportunity to make it what you want vs just what was there. Do you want carpet? Or do you want tile? Or hardwood?

Go to thrift stores, antique stores and department stores and look at what you want to have for furniture. You don't need high end for your first set. You can also try freecycle or craig's list. I'm still using a dresser I got off Freecycle when we got married. Friend of mine just donated 2 tvs. Sure, they were not flat screen, but a TV is a TV when you don't have one. You can get an amazing amount of stuff online. We ordered our stove online and had it shipped to our door. $400 before installation. Our washer came from a Sears Outlet for $350 b/c of a cosmetic ding. Etc. Start thinking outside the box.

Look around at options. For example, you can get an awful lot off Netflix for $8/month and all you'd really need is an internet connection.

I think it WILL be okay and just keep in mind that it's a process.

I fully agree with Amanda H.
You should also get things in writing. God forbid you do all this work and she passes or decide to sell. I proably watch too much Judge Judy, but she'd say you were the fool not getting things in writing. I'm sorry family could be the worst to deal with when property and money are involved.
I wish you two the best of luck and hope it all works out for the best!!

Before you do anything, yes, you need to write down your budget on paper and do some contemplating with it. What things did you not include in it? Did you overlook anything? Did you include an "emergency fund" in it?
Once you do that, and you figure out if you can afford to move out (whether at the reduced rental rate your aunt is offering you, or elsewhere), then you can look at the other factors.

There is no point in doing the legwork/math, etc of the repair work, if you can't afford to live there in the end.

If you can afford it, while still having comfortable cash flow (you don't have every thin dime included for a necessary item, but your budget includes some things you could cut if you had to---like internet service or satellite/cable) then consider the repairs/renovations.

You need to itemize exactly what needs to be done, and the expected cost (both in supplies/materials and labor costs---because if your family that is willing to help you, for some reason becomes unable to, you will have to pay to have it done). You need to include room for the unexpected--anytime you do this kind of thing, there is the potential to run into a lot more problems than are visible just on the surface. That's why some houses are sometimes referred to as a "money pit". Because you peel off one layer (a problem you know about and are prepared to fix) and as you do, you uncover another problem buried underneath that you cannot move forward with your original project until you have fixed the newly discovered problem. And it becomes one thing after another, after another....

Get your "known problems" spelled out and a budget for them that you and your fiance (and his family?) are planning and willing to take care of on your own dime. Then, you need to have a contract in place with your aunt so that if other things are discovered, she agrees to repair them or at least contribute to repair/fixing them. She is giving you reduced rent based upon the known issues that you are agreeing to take care of, but if in that process you discover other unknown issues, then who is going to be on the hook to pay for those? You aren't getting your deal with your aunt based on those.
So what would happen in that event? You need to have it spelled out, to prevent a family crisis over money and apartment issues.

Eventually, they will sell the apartments and benefit financially from all your work and improvements. So try not to see all this as her doing you a favor. You are both getting something for what you are doing. So, have a contingency in place for other repairs that may arise before the project is done.

Good luck.

Every big change comes with concerns and doubts. It always helps me to put things down on paper.

I would start with a budget. Write out all of your income and then all of your monthly expenses, including rent, cable/internet/utilities, water, garbage, whatever you'll have to pay on a monthly basis. Once it's on paper, it's easier to wrap your head around it.

It may be hard but that's what being an adult is all about.

Breathe, budget, then gain some perspective. I like the need/ wants list that Christy Lee suggested.

If you have enough to cover all your needs after you've done the renovation, then you can tackle your wants, one at a time and slowly.

Good luck to you and yours.
F. B.

I was the same as you are when we moved into our apartment last year. Deep breath and relax :)

A few things...

Don't get a dishwasher... Yes, it totally sucks having to do all the dishes by hand I will do a big happy dance the day that we can get a dishwasher... But you will value you the cupboard space much more! We have 2 big top cupboards, 2 big bottom cupboards, the area under the sink, and mini cupboards above the stove, sink, and fridge... And even with that we struggle with space and complain once a week that we wish we had more cupboard space.

Table in the living room... Not necessary. We have a very small 2 foot long, 1 foot wide night stand next to the couch and we use 80% more than we use the huge space-hog of a coffee table that's in front of the couch. Seriously... At night we put our lap tops inside of it (It opens up and there is storage space inside) but that's about it. We definitely don't put any drinks or food on it... It would be like asking kiddo to knock them over for us. Lol. So get a small cheap nightstand at the thrift store instead.

Cable... Also not necessary. I will admit that it SUCKS not being able to watch my weekly shows like Law and Order: SVU, Criminal Minds, Big Brother, and So You Think You Can Dance (It really really sucks)... But it would suck even more having to spend extra money on cable. Just get internet and get netflix. It's cheaper.

I agree with Fanged Bunny. She's right. You have to sit down and figure out your wants and your needs, then figure out how to budget for your needs first. If your father, fiancee, and FIL are doing the construction, then there should be no labor fee. Just prepare the meals for them in appreciation. They are family and family should be supportive of family. There might be something you can do for them when they need help later on. I wouldn't even think of a dish washer. I'd wash the dishes by hand or enlist the fiancee to help out. Bowed windows is scarey, so it should be the first thing on the list. Next is the paint. Yep peeling paint can be scarey, but it's not that bad. You can let your mom or aunt babsit the baby and get right in there to help the guys with the paint problem unless you're prego. They can either scrape off the paint and put on a new coat of paint, scrape off the old paint and wallpaper, or panel the walls. Painting will be the cheapest route for short term. Wallpaper and paneling last longer and are expensive in short term, but economical in the long run. Start scanning the free columns for free furniture and ride around on garbage day. You'd be surprised at the good stuff people throw out, especially in the better neighborhoods. You can always refinish furniture cheaper than you can buy it. Don't be affraid to go to discount stores for furniture as well. Your house needn't be perfect, just clean for the baby. As for TV....You can always call up the cable company and ask for the cheapest programing. We pay just $25/mo. for 25 channels. Sure we don't have those cool channels like HGTV, MTV, etc. But we have what we need, which is local channels. We don't have a cell phone plan, because those are too expensive. We have a landline with internet for $50. You can watch free movies and the cool shows on the internet for free, so who needs 204 channels on their TV? You just need to figure out ways to save money.

Will you be renting this place, buying it or living in it for free? Are you paying your relatives to fix it up, or are they just helping you out? Furniture is a minor detail. It sounds like you have most of the furniture basics already, the rest you can pick up at thrift stores and yard sales over time. Also, there are always friends an relatives just hoping to fnd a young couple to pass their old furniture off to. Lots of people live in apartments and use coin operated machines or go to laundramats. Again, if you are able to hook up a washer and dryer then it isn't hard to get one cheap or free. It's up to you whether cabinet space or a dishwasher is more important. Lots of people start their marriages with little money and used furniture. You can upgrade as you go along. As long as you have a regular income and can afford to pay the rent/mortgage, utilities and groceries it is best that you move away from your parents home and become indepenent adults.