Behavioral or Medical?

Updated on August 04, 2008
S. asks from Barrington, IL
12 answers

My 3 1/2 year old daughter, who has been potty trained for almost a year, has recently been wetting her underware. She isn't completely peeing, it just seems to be dribbles, but enough to make her underware wet. I am assuming she is just not paying attention or not wanting to stop what she is doing to go to the bathroom. I am wondering, however, if there could be a medical reason for this, and not just that she is misbehaving. I don't want to punish her for something that is beyond her control, but if she's just being lazy or rebellious, she needs to be punished.
I looked for info on line about UTI's, but it didn't say anything about dribbles. Obviously I will call the doctor on Monday, but any suggestions before then would be appreciated.
Thank you!
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L.F.

answers from Chicago on

Children can be incontenance just like adults. It may be stress related incontenance. Sneezing , coughing or playing could be causing it. Tell the doctor next time you go.

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K.M.

answers from Chicago on

I'd pick "c. none of the above" if you think your only options are choosing between "a. physically ill" or "b. lazy and rebellious" to classify your daughter. Then you will have created the mental space to see and tell a more positive story. My 3 yo is doing the exact same thing right now as she is so busy playing and discovering the world she is not giving top priority to listening to her body's potty cues in time to make it to the toilet. I choose to meet this with kindness, understanding and gentle reminders, which is how I'd want to be treated in the same situation (heck, maybe the roles *will* be reversed some day and she'll be the one changing my Depends :)

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J.

answers from Chicago on

I think "punishment" is counterproductive no matter what. Anyway, a UTI might be responsible. Have her drink lots of water and cranberry juice over the weekend. If she does have an infection, you'll probably have an idea before Monday, but sometimes they're not obvious in kids, I've heard.

If she's just forgetting to go because she's absorbed in play, remembering to remind her to go potty every hour or two is the best way to deal with it. If she's in too much of a rush to finish emptying her bladder, that can lead to UTIs, so make sure you explain to her how to completely empty it (maybe have the pediatrician talk with her.) She should wait until all the pee is done, lean forward a bit on the potty to help the bladder to empty, and so on (can you tell I know my UTIs?)

I know kids who were 3.5 or 4 before being potty trained, so developmentally she's perfectly average if she has an occasional accident or dribble. Underwear is cheap (and washable) - not worth making a fuss about. But definitely, make sure she doesn't have an infection.

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M.

answers from Chicago on

My 3 year old soon to be 4 does that too. She has bladder diverticulitous and sometimes does not feel the urine in her bladder, so she dribbles a little. It is pretty normal for that to happen to young kids though, a lot of kids dont pee and completely empty their bladders and even though they are potty trained, so kids get stronger sensations when they have ot go and others have weaker sensations, so they dont feel the little dribble. It could have to do with bladder development too, my daughters bladder is not fully developed and she has had surgery in the past for kidney reflux and that plays into her little dribbles too, her bladder is underdeveloped, so even though she is potty trained, it is still bound to happen. Check with your daughter, but I would say for the age, it is pretty normal. I hope this helped some.

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L.H.

answers from Peoria on

Most likely what I'm about to say is not the case however I feel I should give you a heads up just in case. At the age of 3 my now 16 yr old started doing much the same thing. I blew it off until she started wetting the bed at nap time and during the night. It turned out she had Diabetes. Look for other signs such as extrem thirst and hunger, also she will be lathargic or lack energy.

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C.T.

answers from Chicago on

It's good you are going to call the pediatrician. I would think it could be some sort of infection, or could be behavioral. That's what the doc will do - weed it out. My daughter and son did that - I think they were a bit older though. They just got so involved in playing they didn't want to leave to use the bathroom, or maybe didn't realize until it was too late. Does your daughter end up using the bathroom after she dribbles in her pants? My guess would be if she does, it is possibly behavioral. Nothing I would punish her for, but direct her as often as you feel necessary to use the toilet to prevent future accidents. We all kind of know our kids potty schedules so you can figure it out from there.

C. T.

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T.P.

answers from Rockford on

S.,
I don't think it's either. I think she just gets involved with what she's doing and doesn't want to stop playing. I wouldn't punish her for that. I would just encourage her to stop what she's doing and go potty. Try rewarding her when she does go and see how it goes then.
Good luck!
T.

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N.A.

answers from Chicago on

I don't know what it is either, but my daugheter did the same thing for a while, and it was so frustrating! It eventually stopped, and now that she's older and I know her personality and character better (she's now 16) I'm certain that it was involuntary. I remember being so annoyed with her at the time- it nearly breaks my heart even to recall it. Please be patient with your child, and go back to pull ups if necessary, but don't punish for this. I don't remember how many months this was an issue, but it did clear up by itself.

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A.K.

answers from Chicago on

Don't punish a child for being what she is, a child. She is ONLY three years old. Yes, she has been potty trained but every so often a child slips. If there is a change in her day or an emotion....she may slip. She is NOT being disrespectful. She is NOT doing this just to upset you. I would suggest you get to know ALL the information before punishment. Some parents feel that punishment is the ONLY way to go but they never get all the information and therefore cause damage that can be irreversable in a child. Go to your pediatrician. Let him know that it is just a little bit that is in her undies. At three years old kids are exploring their universe so to speak and are so busy with what they are learning outside of mom and dad that she will slip. But if you think that this is a MAJOR problem, see your doctor.

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K.B.

answers from Chicago on

Hi, My daughter is 4 1/2 and she has been having complete accidents this summer. She has been potty trained for awhile. I see her dancing around and I tell her to go potty and she says "I don't have to go." Then a little while later, if I forget to tell her again, she wets her pants. I KNOW hers is not medical, she is just too busy to go. I guess if your daughter is waiting too long, she would not be able to just "dribble" a little. I would look into it as being something else. Good luck to you.

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E.P.

answers from Chicago on

My instinct tells me that she just doesn't want to stop what she is doing, but.......I would keep a close eye on her...giving her cranberry juice and making sure that she is drinking a lot of water. Is she complaining of any other symptoms....i.e. itchy, burning, back hurting? Is she going to the bathroom frequently, or at least regularly? (my kids sometimes like to hold it until they are ready to burst...that's not good either!) Just be cognizant of the routine that she has and remind her to go to the bathroom. Any stressful changes in the home or could she not be getting enough attention because of a sibling???? Any attention might be good attention for her. If it continues, I would go see the dr. but I'm guessing life is too fun now and she just doesn't want to stop what she is doing to go. I would never punish her....even getting her on a tentative "bathroom schedule" for the next few days might help (i.e. set a timer when she has to go...only for a couple days.) Good luck!

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J.D.

answers from Chicago on

I really don't believe this is behavioral. If she had reverted back to fully wetting the bed i still wouldn't just say it was behavioral. I have a six year old who started the bed at night. It turns out he wasn't fully emptying his bladder during the day, so when he was asleep and relaxed he would void. So, i would take her to the doctor ans check on it. I also have another son, who had an immature bladder.So, please don't punish her that could make it worse. A trip to the doctor may help out alot.

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