"Bang Your Head?"

Lots of kids do this as they don't know another way to get out frustration. A suggestion, have you tried sign languauge with him? we have done it with both kids and find that if gtehy can sign what they want (cookie, play, tired - whatever), they were less likely to vbe frustrated. My 2.5 yr old still signs "sad" at me when she is sad and she is fully verbal now. The Signing Time DVDs are really great. It is kids signing as well as an adult showing you, so my kids love them.
Best of luck,
K.

It hurts just to read that! It's so sad when children get frustrated but aren't able yet to verbalize what they are feeling.

My daughter didn't head-bang, but the gap between what she wanted to express and what she could express was enormous around that age -- and her frustration level was off the charts at times. There is a Blues Clues video that addresses this, and my daughter LOVED it. They explain that when you are frustrated you should, "Stop. Breathe. And think." There are cute little motions that go along with it too. I don't even know if Blues Clues is still popular or even on TV anymore, but I'm sure you can get the DVDs.

We would see her in the midst of a potential crisis, and then she would act out this little dance, song, chant, whatever it was. It actually calmed her down, and became a ritual that was far more pleasant than an implosion (or a head-banging session).

The other thing I'd suggest is talking him through his frustrations and distracting him. Chances are that even if he can't verbalize what he wants to express he can understand what you are saying to him.

If he's frustrated about something he's trying to accomplish, but can't yet master you can try saying something like, "Oh sweetie, that puzzle looks hard, it must be so frustrating. I would be frustrated too. Should we try it together?" Then get silly with the puzzle. Pretend you are totally clueless, and let him be the one to fix it. Sometimes that can be a confidence booster, or a funny distraction.

If he's frustrated about trying to restrain himself, you can try something like, "I know you feel like hitting right now, and it's hard not to hit when you're angry. You are being so good, and that is really, really hard sometimes. But you know what you can hit? You can hit a pillow! Should we go hit a pillow? C'mon it's fun!"

I think the most important thing to convey to him is that it is NOT okay to hurt anyone, including yourself. If you feel like punching, kicking, hitting or biting, you can do it with a pillow, or a stuffed animal, etc, but never, never with a person or a real animal.

Seriously, when he does this, you need to get down on your knees, hold him by the shoulders and look him in the eye and tell him that that is NOT okay to hurt yourself -- and say it with the same forcefulness you would use to reprimand him for hurting another child.

I completely disagree with the parents (and pediatricians) who suggest that you should ignore this. It might "go away", but it might also resurface in another form years later. No child should think that his mother will ignore him when he's desperate enough to even attempt to hurt himself. (holding your breath is completely different, because as the commenter pointed out, no injury can come of that -- the kid might faint for a second, worst case. But if that same child was even pretending to suffocate himself with a plastic bag or a pillow case, it would be a much different situation.

I don't know if my suggestions will help at all, but I hope you take this seriously.

M.,
I sure know what you are going through!! My son, who is now 3 1/2 went through this stage. He started banging his head before he turned two and it probably lasted about a year. I also talked to my son's pediatrician about it, as well as to my uncle, who also is a pediatrician, they both told me the same thing. Boys are more likely to be head-bangers, 3 in 5 boys will bang their heads when frustrated or after they get into trouble. Surprisingly only 1 in 5 girls will go through this. The advice was the same, as hard as it is, you need to ignore him while he is banging his head, if you give him attention he WILL do it more, after the tantrum is over check his forehead. We went through a year of bruises on the forehead, he will learn that it hurts and he will stop. Good Luck, stay strong.

Hi. My daughters did the same thing. The doc said that is very normal and that they outgrow it (which they did). Just make sure that they don't hit their head on anything that can hurt them (i.e., concrete) and don't make a big deal of it. If they realize that it's getting a rise out of you, it may intensify.

My son did the same thing starting at about the same age. When I asked the doc, he said that he [my son] wouldn't hit his head hard enough to really do any damage. When my son started to bang his head I would try to intervene and help him calm down and back away from the frustration, or try to figure out what was frustrating him. My husband was really good at turning his attention to something else, another toy or food or a drink or just by being silly. Anyway, my son is now nearing 2 1/2 and he doesn't bang his head anymore. That may be because he is better able to communicate with us--I think that may have been part of his frustration; that he needed/wanted something and we couldn't understand. Hope this helps!

Look at the ceiling!
I am a mom of 3, and my oldest daughter started banging her head when she was about 20mths. Fortunately, I had already heard my MIL's horror story of her youngest holding her breath until she passed out! In either case, they are simply trying to get their way, and if you pay attention to this behavior, it will only prolong it. My MIL's pediatrician wisely said: ignore the behavior, as soon as they pass out, they start to breathe again. So with my daughter, we would look at the ceiling and not acknowledge the head banging. She got over it within a month. Do not speak to them while they're doing it. Literally, ignore them. And make sure everyone else ignores them too. You can comfort them After they're done, if they come to you. Don't speak about it, except occasionally remind them that they shouldn't do things that hurt. They'll get over it. :)

That sounds too familiar...My son is now 18 months but he went through that same stage at around 16 months. I started out by comforting him and telling him, "don't do that...that hurts". If anything, it seemed he did it more. I don't know about your son, but mine was doing it for attention. I started to just ignore him when he did it. At sometimes I would even look right at him when he did it and then go on and carry on what I was doing. I was trying to make a point to him, like, yes I see you doing that but I don't care. He totally stopped, within 3 weeks, with each week getting better.

hi! sounds like he's really frustrated because he can't yet adequately verbalize his feelings/emotions. I think that head banging is pretty common, but here is a link to a great article about head-banging. And as for the frequent bouts of frustration...he's almost two...and while it won't necessarily be TERRIBLE, it may be TRYING and it will most certainly be TIRING. Just keep in mind it's part of growing up and maturing but if you really need to just scream, go into your bathroom, turn on the fan or the shower, grab a towl and let it fly! Best of luck and have fun!
http://www.babycenter.com/0_head-banging_11554.bc

M., I am a 28 year old mother of one and I have found the same thing. My daughter who is 19 months old usually does it when i tell her no or when she doesn't get her own way. she doesn't do it really hard, but she looks at me to see if I'm watching her so i try not to look at her. I think it's mostly for attention. I'll tell her "ouch. you'll hurt your head." or tell her to stop, but if she doesn't I figure she'll do it just hard enough to hurt a little bit and maybe she'll stop. She hasn't given herself bruises, it's a bit half hearted. I'm not sure if my advice is any good. it may not work for you because it sounds like your son is more serious about banging his head, but just know that yours is not the only one that does it. Good luck.

M., one of mine went through that stage and nothing seemed to stop her. i had asked her pediatrician for advice and he had said: if things get out of control we will order a helmet for her, but i assure you it will take only one time for her to hurt herself and she will stop. he had also said not to talk to her about it as that will only make her do it more. she did stop eventually and no there was no need for a helmet but for sure it was a stage they go through.
good luck