Bad Dreams: My Own

Hey C.,
I'm happy to hear you're adjusting better now. I had a nightmare about a couple of weeks ago; involving my 2yr old falling out of the window and me seeing him on the ground. I still am shaken by the nightmare. I couldn't even bring myself to mention it to anyone, maybe subconsciously thinking, talking about it might make it come to happen for real, and just being embarrassed for having such a dream. I find myself neervous and watching him even closer when he's by the window. Mind you, the windows can't be opened more than an inch. It's kind of therapeutic for me to discuss it here.
Thanks and Best Wishes,
C. S.

I remember when I was a first time mom. I dreamt about any and every horrible thing that could possibly happen to my son. I think it's anxieties about being able to protect them from anything that comes their way. Once I came to terms with the fact that I can't be there ALL the time, I just decided to enjoy the times I do have with him. He's 15 now, and I still worry, but I trust that I taught him well enough to stay out of dangerous situations. The dreams don't stop completely, (because we will worry forever!), but they will taper off. It's gonna be okay!

Hi my name is M., and a couple of weeks ago I had a similar dream about one of my children. These dreams feel so real and you wake up so upset.The difference is that my son lives two states away because of personal issues, with that said I felt like it was real and I was very upset.I called my son as soon as I got up just to make sure he was ok. I understand how you feel so your not alone in this. I also had a dream similar to yours with my oldest son a few months ago. My advice to you don't read in to much to the dream it's usually something thats deep in your mind that you may had heard or seen and it's in your subconcious. Hope this was of some help, I understand that you being a first time mom your upset but belive me it was only a dream. Good luck and God Bless. M. A. Bronx

Hello C., its weird you posted about this, we have 20-month twins, and lately during the course of the week my husband has been having dreams like this.... for instance the last one was that he saw one of them get hit by a train, I mean he wakes up totally freaked out..... C., I blew him off and said just thank god they are here with us..... pray for them. We have even talked about him attending church, speak to a father....... He found this weird because we have 5 kids and its always just the twins..... which sorta freaked me out because, he told me years ago that he saw a little girl and boy hangin off his legs and having laughs... well i thought i was done with kids and since then we had 2 sets of twins..... another time he had a dream someone else was pregnant and not long after she was..... he spookes me out @ times.... but if you find the answer to these dreams plz do share it with me....... I too would like to understand what this means.

Your baby is very little does she sleep in the bed with you or close by in a bassinet?

Dee

C..
I went through the same thing, although I also had "visions" of terrible things while awake. It's very normal for first time Moms...It isn't post-partum. Alot of my friends went through this as well. Go to sleep.....I guarantee you won't have another dream like that....and if you do, it was just a dream!! You worry so much about the safety of your daughter that you carry those feelings to bed with you.
Good luck!
Barb

Hi C., I don't know if this happens to everyone but when my daughter was about 3 months I had a dream so horrible I still can't talk about the particulars. My husband also had a nightmare about something pertaining to our daughter that he never shared with me. I think it's part of the scary unknown of being a first time parent. Our daughter is now 2 1/2 and healthy as can be. Hope this helps and you can go back to enjoying your baby (love the name, by the way!) Jen

hi, i myself have had quite a few of those horrible dreams, not only after my daughter was born, but throughout the pregnancy. i was afraid that some of those dreams were like a warning...but i talked to my dr. they looked like they weren't quite sure what to say to me, and said not to worry, some women have dreams like this, just don't think about it. this of course didn't help ease my mind. i decided to see a therapist, and she told me that even though not all women have these horrible dreams, it is normal. she said that it's a mixture of things. that between the hormonal change, and all the new things that we're dealing with, that the mind races and sometimes our fears come out in our dreams. this actually made me feel better. i still was a bit nervous when i'd wake up from these dreams, but i'd think about that she said and was able to go back to sleep (after awhile). i'm thrilled to say that most of those nightmares are past me (not that i'm not having them anymore, but my daughter is older then she was in the nightmare...) i still have these nightmares, but always remember, that they're just dreams...i hope this makes you feel even just a little better. good luck!

I believe that dreams are a way of your subconcious letting you know something important that is occuring in your life whether is good or bad. So I took the liberty of going in depth with what it means when you dream of a child drowning. Based on what I found and on what you have told me, you just got alot on your plate right now.

Water in a dream is tied down by your emotions and the water going over your childs head means that you are overwhelmed by what is going on in your life. Whether you are single or married, being a first time mother and going through a move cross country can put anyone at its whits end.Just take it easy. You might have more dreams of this nature but they will subside as you become more experienced at being a parent and as you adjust to your new enviroment. Just relax and take things one day at a time. With time all will be better.
Hope I was of great help.

G.

Looks like you've got a lot of responses which means this is something all new mom's can identify with. Sometimes, it's not what's happening in the dream that's important, but how you relate to it. Watching your daughter drown is terrifying and makes you feel completely helpless, which is how you feel right now. With all these new changes in your life, you feel like there are things going on that are completely out of your control, like you, in fact, are drowning! You may even feel overwelmed and worry that your daughter is the one who will suffer as a result (perfectly normal for a first time mom.) Once your life settles again and you feel like you have some semblance of control, the dreams will go away. While the dreams are terrifying, they help you to scream and, in a weird way, vent about how you're feeling. Things will go back to normal before you know it. Those first few months are rough, but hang in there, your little one will grow up so quickly!

I know that you responded that the dream hasn't repeated, but I'd like to offer a suggestion anyway if you are open. Hang a dreamcatcher either above your bed or in a window. You can make one or purchase one it doesnt matter. I have had one for years and I have never had nightmares. New Agey?Maybe.. but it doesnt hurt

I don't know about any symptoms of anything but I gotta tell ya that since I had my daughter in July my dreams, or should I say nightmares have been so far out there that sometimes it is hard to distinguish what is real and what isn't, even with a normal dream...like for a small instance, I had a dream that I ran out of deodarant so I woke up the next day got all ready to go to the store and (Thankfully I had to go to the store anyways,) but went to put my deodarant on and was nowhere near the end of my stick. Haha. But had I not done that I would have bought another. But then there was last night.....I witnesses a man get stabbed to death in a restaurant, and then after that was over I was home alone with just my dog and my daughter and it was all dark and two men came to my huose in an old beat up pick up truck trying to tell me they were some sort of witness pretection and that they were here to protect me but in the meantime they had killed my dog and were going towrds my daughters room. My heavy breathing woke myself and my husband up at 4am.
This happens more often that not, and I always just blamed it on hormones. I figured that my hormornes were probably still somewhat out of whack....right?
Otherwise for you anyways I'd say that moving clear across from CA to NY is pretty stressful alone and than add doing that with a baby, a baby , or a child of any age can add ALOT of stress to that, so you just might be feeling really, really overwhelmed and it's coming out in your dreams. To ease your mind, if you have time talk to your doc but if not wait and see how you are after you get settled here in NY. (where abouts in NY?)
As for tonight, GET SOME SLEEP, and remember, you can control your dreams...if you try hard enough you can do it. I kept telling myself that last night but I woke up before I had the chance to anything. But in the past I have controlled alot of the outcome....good luck with everything!!

i have had weird dreams as well not just about my son whom is 5 yrs old but about my 21 yr old brother... my sugestion is to keep a journal. i know that it sounds weird but it might help. after a bad dream write the dream down in the journal. with the dream writen in the journal you can back to them at a later date and review them. what i mean is "were you having a bad day at work? did you read or watch something that might disturb you enough that you would having these dreams? did you eat something out of the normal for you?" i know that it might sound crazy but it worked for me...

Hello C.,
I'm sorry to hear about your sleep situation.
I used to have this really really terrible dream about my sons, during both pregnancies, same horrible dream. The dream was identical in every aspect. I got so worried and asked around. I was told it sometimes happens to mothers when pregnant or soon after having their babies. It is due to hormonal changes and maternal insticts kicking in.
I hope you'll get more encouraging answers to indicate that, truly, it was just a dream and may you get your peace and sleep back.
Take care,
L..

I have had very scary dreams every once in a while since my daughter was born and during my pregnancy. I think it is totally normal and they have subsided for the most part now (8 months later). And I don't think it is a syptom of PPD. But I'm wondering if anyone has scary day dreams? Sometimes the worst, morbid thoughts come into my head about my daughter and make me so upset. I don't want to be one of those scared, overprotective moms. Does anyone else have these kinds of dreams too?

I think you're right in that it's related to PPD - but not necessarily a sign of worse things to come. I think our emotions after pregnancy have to re-adjust as well as (and in tandem with) hormones. It's natural that just as in daily life we are now totally responsible for this new life - a blank slate - and a walking vulnerability to everything everywhere - we are panicked with all we see and can fathom from now until they're 40 and beyond. I was 39 when my first son was born - after a few miscarriages and a diagnosis requiring daily shots to keep the pregnancy - so I thought my wicked dreams were related to that. But the more I talked to people and read and did some therapy and writing - I've gotten relief. He is now 19 mos old. In my dreams I would: roll over him in bed and suffocate him; forget where he was and stand up on the bed screaming "Where is he????" and totally send my hubby into a tailspin; think he fell out of the crib and scream sending my husband careening up the stairs to find the baby peaceful in his crib. I refused to sleep and checked the baby repeatedly. I think it was part separation as we moved him farther and farther away from our bed, our room, etc. as well as adjusting to the responsibility. My therapist worked with me to convince me to tell myself that "I am a good mother" every time I awoke in terror with one of these. After just a handful of times and repeating my mantra they dissipated. His technique worked well with other panic attacks I had in the day time. Maybe you can try it and save thousands on therapy. Remember - you ARE INDEED a good mother - just perfect for your daughter and you're everything she needs even if you're not perfect and aren't all things to all people.
From, C. in NJ (PS Welcome to the East Coast)

Stress has a strange effect on our minds! I had disturbing dreams as well early on. I guess its from the anxiety of trying to do all the right things and worrying about every possible thing that can go wrong. I'm happy to say that those dreams have subsided and WE ALL SURVIVED! Don't give yourself more stress by trying to anyalyze it too much. I'm sure you're a great mom--the fact that you're worried about speaks to that! Good luck with your move!

Sounds like its the anxiety of the move getting to ya.

Dreams don't have a literal meaning, for the most part. There are symbols. Maybe talk out loud about ALL the things happening in you life. You probably just need a load off your chest.

Hi C., I believe that this is a normal thing mothers go through with having bad dreams about their babies. It had with my first who is 12 years old now when he was an infant but then it stopped. Not only did I have bad dreams but I even had bad daydreams. At first I thought it meant something bad but found out that alot of my friends went through the same thing. I've never gone through post-partum depression and don't know of anyone that has because I these dreams. To me I think it just brings an even closer bond to your child. Maybe that's why I'm so protective of them because of these dreams. I don't think its anything to worry about. Its said that bad dreams usually mean the opposite

C.,
I hope you are feeling better now. Night terrors usually happen when your body is stressed out. I am sure that just having your girl and going through a move has you frazzled. I sometimes have wicked dreams that my children have terrible accidents. Don't let it get to you, I am sure it is very normal.
bw

I've suffered before, during, and after pregnancy, and everywhere in between, with scary dreams of my kids. Since most involve the house catching on fire and me running through trying to get my kids out, I have window-ladders in each upstairs room, smoke and carbon monoxide detectors throughout the house, fire extinguishers, etc., to put myself at ease. When I was pregnant with my son Vinny I had a HORRIFIC dream that I thought was SO REAL about my kids, it horrified me and kept me up for days! I thought I woke up from my bed, sat up, looked over, and saw the silhouette of a man dressed like a woman in my kids room, wielding a knife in the air, laughing hysterically... so I was thinking, if I run to the room, which kid should I grab, or could I grab both, and jump out the window wihtout him killing me/us? Then I woke up, for real this time, in my bed, looked over at my kids doorway, there was noone. I was hysterical and made my husband walk me into the kids rooms, so I could look in on them, sobbing, that they were okay. Took me a LONG time to get over that dream, though, it was horrifying! And I was pregnant. Maybe it was those hormones?!

C.,

Don't worry. It happens to lots of Moms, and doesn't necessarily connect to PPD. You are under a lot of stress as a first time Mom, and the fears pile up. You are afriad that you will do something wrong, or take your eyes off that little baby, and something terrible will happen to her. Totally and completely normal. As you get more comfortable in your role as a mother, and time goes on, you'll have fewer of these. Not that you'll never see another one, because our nightmares are a reflection of our fears. From this point in your life on, the illness, injury, or death of your little girl will occupy spot #1 on your fears list. It's just your subconscious playing out your anxieties. You'll be all right.

Jess

Hi C.,

I think it is nothing to worry about because after I had my second child, which is 5 yrs old now, I had a really bad dream also about my daughter getting hit by a car, she was playing in our backyard and me and my husband was outside with her when I heard the phone ring and I went inside to answer it, my husband then turned his back to say something to me for a second and the next thing I know she was just laying in the middle of the street and she wasn't breathing and we did lose her in the dream and I know I couldn't sleep for a couple of nights but I did talk about it to my sister and that helped alot and I did finally was able to sleep, my sister said to me that it was the stress that I was going though because being a mom of a baby again after 10 yrs and there was alot going on in my life also. So what I'm trying to tell is that it shouldn't be anything to worry about. It is probably because you are a first time mom and you are moving across the states, which can be stressful in its self. So just take sometime to relax and enjoy your little one and that all it was, was just a dream. Hope you get some sleep and that everything works out for you.

i'm always having dreams that my son smothered himself in his blankets or i threw him on my bed into my fluffy blankets (which he loves to do) but he lands wrong in the dream and breaks his neck.
i believe i have these dreams because i'm so concerned when i'm awake w keeping him safe. so the prospect of "what if" creeps into my subconscious and emerges in dreams. my son is now 4months old n i am perfectly happy and in love w him. so i am not alarmed by the dreams i simply continue to be alert and concerned w his continued safety.

i would suggest to u that if your dreams persist or become worst that u should consult your doctor

I hate to say it, but I have a 3yr old girl and 6 mos boy and I still have those nightmares. It was bad for the first year w/my first. Probably about 2-3x a week I would wake up trying to catch her or screaming because she drowning or something horrible. I talked to some girl friends and they said they went thru the same thing. And I've never suffered from PPD-a couple of depressing days but.... At least I now only have the occasional bad dream. I think it just comes w/loving and worrying for someone like never before. Congrats on your little girl and try not to worry!

Don't worry dear, it means you love your daughter. The things we are most concerned withmanifest themselves in our sleep. You want to protect her that's all.

I kept dreaming of my son falling onto the floor when he was first home from the hospital, I'll spare you the gorey details and I still think of the images occassionally.

He is 5 mos now and I had the dream again last week, it's normal and no cause for alarm. Please get some sleep, Lord knows you need it. (lol)

take care,

K.