Hi there,
I'm 35, and a first time mother with an 8.5 month old. She wakes up during the night about 3 times and usually goes right back down; however, many nights I have a difficult time falling asleep both when I go to bed and during the night after I'm done nursing her. I eat a healthy diet, try to get out and walk as much as I can, and never stopped taking my prescription prenatals, so I'm assuming I'm not anemic. I just feel like day in and day out, I get tired easily. I start off the day okay but notice that when she goes down for a morning nap, I also want to rest, and the same in the afternoon. My husband can't possibly be getting *that* much more sleep than me and yet he seems to be doing just fine. I've never been a person with tons of energy, even when I was in my 20's...I've always needed a lot of sleep at night. I just feel that by 8.5 months, I should be feeling a lot more energetic...and happy. Several weeks back, I had what I think was an episode of vertigo and I completely freaked out. After about an hour, it passed and my mom felt strongly it was because I was dehydrated. Since then, though, I've been finding myself worrying about my health and thinking horrible things and in general, just very irritable, grumpy lethargic. I'm noticing every feeling in my body....and then obsessing about it. My husband has noticed a difference in me, as well...I'm just an unpleasant person to be around most days and I feel awful about it. The more I read what I'm writing here, the more it sounds like I'm fighting some kind of mild depression and should probably talk to someone about it.
Thank you so much for your kind support. I'm quite sure sleep has a lot to do with this. In addition, I'm really unhappy with where we're living and wish we were closer to family and friends. Although I try not to dwell too much on this, I think that loneliness has taken its toll. I am making sure to get out and meet other moms but it's not a cure-all. When I take my daughter for her 9 month check-up, I'll talk to the doctor (she's also a GP in addition to being a pediatrician).
Thanks again.
I agree - you sound a touch depressed. I felt like that for about a year after the birth of my daughter. I didn't realize that it was possible for people to feel great after having kids until I had my son. World of difference. Getting less sleep now and I just feel better all around. I wish that I had realized that I was depressed and seen my doctor (and I teach psychology!) You aren't alone, and it can be better. Good luck.
Hormones, lack of sleep, new baby...that is A LOT going on!!! Depression does not run in my family, but I ended up with postpartum depression. Talk to a doctor or shrink ( ;) ). You may need medication, or you just may need to talk to someone. I did both...and I ended up trying (took 3 before I found the right one for me) and taking an antidepressant. It took about 4 weeks to totally kick in, I still have sleep issues (I don't think I will ever sleep solid again!! I will always hear babies crying or playing in my head...can't seem to turn off that "mommy monitor"), but I am a MUCH calmer, focused person now.
I hope this helps!!
Much luck!
By the way you're describing yourself, I'd say it probably wouldn't hurt to talk to your doctor about whether you might be experiencing some depression.
On the other hand, it is not unreasonable to not be totally back to your pre-pregnancy self by 8.5 months. Hormones may still be a factor.
My son was born 4 years ago, and my sleep has never been the same since. I was what I would have described as an easy/good sleeper. I had no problems falling asleep or staying asleep, enjoyed sleeping in, and the occasional nap! lol But after baby, I am amazed at how little sleep I get and function on. I had no idea the level of sleep deprivation I'd experience initially - and for me it lasted for a LONG time! My son didn't sleep through the night until he was over 18 months old, and he would get up anywhere from 2 to 5 times a night. I, too, would be craving sleep in the mornings and afternoons, because I was exhausted! I found it really hard to learn to sleep when my son was napping, but when I got that figured out (which was probably not until he was 2 or so), that definitely helped me get some much needed rest. I think a number of things affect the way we sleep before vs. after baby - hormones, worry, difficulty falling back asleep after waking up multiple times a night, habit, and like another poster suggested, the internal baby monitor... But i'd say not to bother comparing yourself to your husband. He did not experience all the hormonal changes you have, and men are just different in every way than women. My SO falls asleep the minute his head hits the pillow - literally. I can lay there and obsess about a million things, watching the hours tick away... well, I'm sure you can relate.
But for the worrying about your body thing, I think that is a really natural thing after having a first baby too. In fact, I posted something similar about my overwhelming fears after having my son. I never dreamed how suddenly, I'd be paralyzed with fear that I'd get sick and die, leaving my son without a mother. Every little health problem caused me overwhelming anxiety. I obsessed about things happening to me or my son to the point of playing out scenarios that "might" happen in my mind, and thinking of what I'd do in that scenario. Not healthy! But to an extent, I think it's totally normal. When I posted my question about that, I got a ton of really supportive responses from mom's who could totally relate to what I was going through, and they assured me how normal it was that I was feeling that way. They also gave me some really helpful suggestions for how to combat that type of obsessing. If you look through my posted questions, you can read all my responses.
Basically, I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone, and I don't necessarily think what you are going through is unusual. However, if you think it's interfering with your life, or your enjoyment of your life, it never hurts to talk to a professional, especially if you have something chemical going on that might be contributing to a little depression.
Best wishes to you. Please feel free to message me if you'd like to chat. :)
I would say that if you can nap with her, you should. It's a fairly normal thing for a mother's body to sync up with the sleep pattern of the infant until she's done nursing at weird times.
Also, make sure your diet has a LOT of raw plant material in it. It will really help replenish your body of the nutrients that pregnancy and nursing drain from it. Make yourself blender smoothies of fruits and veggies. Whatever it takes. It will help.
Ok you are a few years younger than me. But you sound a little like me. I just posted 41 and tired. Read it when you have a moment. Is your baby on the bed with you? If not. Please try not to start that. We did and it is so hard to get your children in their own beds. I remind myself that I am a good Mommy and a nice Wife :). But like you I am tired and not as happy as I would or should be. So hang in there and we will get some good response from other Mom's. I'm here for you!
Hi R., I have sort of always felt like that as well, although my kids are older. I had my kids in my mid-30's and I'm sure it's a little harder for us "older" moms than the younger ones! That being said, I have been taking a liquid vitamin/mineral suppliment for the last several weeks and have found it to work wonders! Not only am I getting my vitamins/minerals in, but I've noticed I'm sleeping better and focusing better and more energy to get things done. I haven't turned into super woman by any means, but it has made a difference and maybe it will for you as well. The cost is only about $1 per day and it has a FREE business opportunity as well. Check out the website and make sure you "Take the Tour": http://www.shopGBG.com/fheck Let me know if you have any questions and I hope you are feeling better soon!
Hon, I am so sorry you are having a rough time. You could be having Post-partum depression, it can hit up to a year after birth. Remember also some people adapt to getting up in the night easily, others not so much. My hubby is a med student and though getting up in the night with our kidlet would be nothing, He could not do it. He was tired all the time and CRANKY.. So it just could be that you are not one that adapts to that.. Remember you and your hubby are different people with different strengths and weakness'. It is very possible that you are fighting a depression though, you should consider talking to a professional in the case it is that.
Hugs to you and good luck
To be sure you could go get a physical done something could be out of balance. I have a feeling a lot of it has to do with how broken your sleep is, you aren't getting a chance to ever get a deep sleep. Your hubby is probably getting enough sleep because he might hear the baby wake up and then immediately hear you get up. He knows the baby is taken care of and goes right back to a deep sleep. You are getting up for 30 min to 1 hr and then trying to go back to sleep just to be awakened again in a couple of hours. Does your baby take a bottle at all? Maybe he could get up on Friday and Saturday with the baby so you can get 2 good nights of sleep. You might be amazed at how refreshed you feel. Good luck.
Hi R.,
Have you had any bloodwork checked to see if these feelings are a result of your thyroid being imbalanced? I have hypothrodism and many of the symptoms you described made me think of myself before I was put on synthroid to regulate my thyroid. Sometimes your thryroid may become imbalanced during or after pregnancy.Check out the website that I have included to see if your interested in knowing more:
http://thyroid.about.com/cs/pregnancy/a/postpartum.htm
Good luck and I hope you are feeling better. It may be that you are simply feeling depressed from sleep deprivation. It can sure take a toll on someone if a lack of sleep is occuring a lot. I would suggest that you have your blood drawn to see if you're anemic or have hypothrodism or something else. (If you've never had blood withdrawn, it's an easy procedure and you just have to not eat or drink anything for about 12 hrs. before your blood is taken. You just have to deal with a needle in your arm for 2 or 3 minutes.)
J.
I am so sorry you are going through this. I am with you all the way! I had first at 32 and second at 37. I was depressed with both, but with #1, I didn't know it (or something). With #2 my OB Gyn took one look at me (at two months post-partum), encouraged me to see a therapist who specialized in post-partum depression, gave me her number and made me promise I would call her. By the time I got home, there was a message from the OB and another from the therapist. They really looked out for me. Thank goodness they did, because I was so down I don't know if I really would have persued therapy.
Here is something I didn't see posted already and I just want to share it with you. I went on Zoloft. I was VERY resistant to being "medicated" and my docs were all supportive of me, and never pushed me into anything. I returned to work when #2 was 4 months old, and things were very difficult. Then, when he was 5 1/2 months old (and I was still struggling) I ran into two different friends at different times. They were each women I really admire, trust, and respect. They each offered the information that they had gone on Zoloft and it really helped them. One described it as "it just makes me feel like I can get through the day. Things just aren't so overwhelming." I took it as a message from the universe and I decided to use the lowest dosage. It really really helped.
Maybe this might be something you could talk to your doc about?
Hang in there mama! I’ve totally been there. I experienced Post Partum depression after my second daughter. Here are some things that have helped me get through some of the rough times.
1. Yoga has been an incredible release for me. It is my time to relax and start over. I feel like I get a restart every time I go and I look forward to it. Check out www.corepoweryoga.com They have a work for trade program where you can clean the studio once a week for a couple hours in exchange for free, unlimited yoga.
2. Anti-depressants can help in the short-term to help you get back up on your feet, or long-term if you need them to maintain balance and stability in your life. Millions of people are on medications, so try to have judgment on yourself.
3. An alternative treatment for depression and anxiety is an herbal supplement called Luminex. Do some research and look into it further. It contains natural ingredients including St Johns Wart, griffonia seed, folate, and vitamin B12 that help with depression and anxiety. My husband and I both started taking it last month and we noticed a difference within a couple of days. Let me know if you are interested or have any questions.
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Hi R.,
I had my babies just before I turned 40 and felt that way or worse.
I had some underlying health issues. I started studying nutrition and became a wellness educator and personal trainer. I am now 55 with two teenage boys. I teach a minimum of 5 exercise classes per week and do training.
I have plenty of energy and everyone thinks I am 10 to 15 years younger than I am.
We can't post about our businesses here but let me know if you want more info on what I did. I would love to help you.
Good luck,
Victoria
