Anxiety Is NO Fun!

I don't want to sound insensitive but you ask this question often, or a variant of it. You have gotten a tremendous amount of advice from us for "home remedies" yet you continue to struggle.

I think you now need to see a doctor and get on some meds and maybe counseling. Good luck.

Years ago I did what B suggested. With my ex, who is mentally ill, mean, and abusive, I had 2 young kids, a job that was stressful, and no help whatsoever with housework/finances, etc. I had enough and was about to snap. My mom took my boys and I went to a hotel for a long weekend. I packed my beauty supplies, swimsuit, lounge clothes, and my typewriter (lol, I'm so old). I spent the time ordering room service, going to the pool, watching tv, and typing up a new resume to start looking for new jobs. It was wonderful just doing "me" things. I did not talk to any one and I did not think about my situation. I picked up my boys afterward, went home to a complete disaster of a home, and a pissed off husband. I was able to clear my head and think for a change. It was not long before my husband became my ex. Sometimes you just have to be selfish and take care of you!!!

I continue to be helped with medication and counseling. I take medication everyday year around. When one stops helping my therapist tries a different one.

I see a counselor when my anxiety and depression worsen. This is usually caused by a serious life event because through counseling I've learned ways of thinking and acting to reduce stress. I've found that what I think about something very much influences the way I feel. Long before I reached 70, I realized that very few things are serious enough to worry about. There is always another day. I do the best I can, deal with the results of my decision and move on. Part of the dealing is accepting that what happened is OK. I'm a really good person who deserves peace with myself. My goal is to be happy. This means accepting what I cannot change and accepting that when things don't work out the way I want, I'm still OK. Along with this I believe that everything happens for a reason. Most of the time that reason is to help me grow and mature.

The focus of counseling makes a difference in how helpful the counseling is for us. Their are several different schools of thought and thus several different ways to approach counseling. What form depends on us and what we need. A relatively new way is called DBT, Dialectical Behaviour Therapy. Long before behaviour therapy had that name, I had counselors helping in similar ways. What counseling has taught me is that I can control how I feel by the way I think. I did have years of counseling before I was able to be positive in my thinking. I started life as a pessimist. I created bad situations when I expected something bad to happen.

I take medication because, as Hazel said, part of anxiety and depression is caused by the chemicals in our brain. Those chemicals become a problem when we experience trauma. Often the chemicals remain toxic even after counseling.

By changing the way we think and experience life, we the chemical makeup may change. Many can stop taking medication. I still need medication. The way I understand this is when we have extended periods of negative stress, our body's chemistry gets stuck. This is especially true when that stress occurs while our brain is developing.

I suggest you find a counselor who focuses on behaviour and how to change the way you think and manage your life. This kind of therapy is called cognitive behaviorAL therapy.

The only thing that helped my daughter was therapy. If that has helped you in the past why not go back? I'm sure your friends are supportive but they can't possibly know how to treat you, you need professional mental health services, PLEASE do it for yourself and your family. If you were physically ill you would go to the doctor, right? This is no different.

You NEED a break.
Seriously!
Before YOU break!
Take a weekend, go to a motel, and lock yourself in.
No phone calls - turn off your cell phone.
Get room service, sleep, take a bath, use the gym and/or pool, get a massage, watch a movie, read a book - R-E-L-A-X!
Then go back home and take up your burdens again.
You'll feel a lot better and things will seem a bit more manageable.

It's always worth having your doctor consider an anti-anxiety medication. Perhaps you should be having this conversation with your doctor. Best of luck.

I was under a tremendous about of stress for several years. You have to be extra careful, I went into adrenal failure. It almost kicked my butt. I wasn't ever under meds for the stress (probably should have been) but the only thing that cleared my head was being outside. We lived outside a state park and at my worst times I was able to be outside with the trees, sunshine and fresh air. I could regroup out there and come back to fight another day. Can you get away for a day or two?? Just time to sit by a pool, read a book, take a hot bath?? All the above would probably do you more good than you can imagine. Please take care of yourself.

Once upon a time, I suffered from sever anxiety and depression. Then I woke myself up. I'm still not 100%, but I am getting there. I've been slowly and surely changing my perspective on life. I'm slow but surely learning how to use breath to control and manage situations (I had awful panic attacks for years, but now I can kick one in the butt in 5 seconds).

So, I'd just skip drugs, and find a therapist that is strongly in the rational-cognitive camp. Sign yourself up for Project Happiness, start doing a gratitude journal everyday, hell, pay the money and do their course.

Your breath controls your anxiety and thinking. it all starts and ends with the body. If you feed it, rest it, and nourish it, then it is full and able to take on the world.

As to the control issue: I have the same tendency. I've slowly but surely been teaching myself that things are what they are and that is OK. I'm slowly but surely been giving up control. Right now the kids and I are working on them learning how to help me more around the house. My goal is to have them cleaning full rooms on their own within the next year. I cannot do it all, but I do not have too. There are 5 of us in this family, and there is no reason why I have to clean, cook, etc. without everyone else. I have to let up lots of control to let them do things, but it's been terrific watching them as they gain important life skills (more important than what 6x8 if you ask me).

Like I said the other day, you need to figure out what it's working for you. You need to figure out how to replenish your spirit. can you take off for an afternoon every weekend and leave the kids with hubby?

So my solution is and was breath and relaxation techniques. I won't say meditation, per say, but that helps too. What also helped what changing how I looked at the world. Check our Project Happiness. It's a good summary of how to go about finding joy in living in the present.

I get bad anxiety attacks where I feel like I am coming out of my skin and it can be hard to breath. It can feel paralyzing at times. I didn't want to take a daily medication since it is not a daily problem and extra pills can be bad for ones health, so my doctor helped me find an as needed Rx I can take just when I am having an issue. What I take is called Klonopin and it has been wonderful for me. While it might not be the right thing for you, talk with your doctor and see what the two of you can come up with.

Blessed be.

A good friend of mine who sounds a lot like you did not do therapy. She went on anti-anxiety meds just to get a grip - and then what she did was stop doing so many things. She stopped volunteering so much. She stopped having perfect dinners. She left her husband. She made choices that were in keeping with living a less stressful and more happy life.

She's still on the meds but is far more focused and seems like a genuinely happy person. I think her needing to control everything was the way her anxiety manifested. She needed the meds to help get her to a place where she could just wake up and not feel panicked. Then changes followed.

If you can make those changes yourself - great. Because to me it sounds like you have a heck of a lot of stress. I would be stressed. So enlist help. Accept that you are not responsible for everything. That ok is good enough. Stress - you can try to find ways to manage that. So cut back where you can.

The anxiety part - if you're obsessive and can't let things go, and it comes out as trying to control stuff - or in other ways - then therapy should help you find ways to deal with that. But I think if it's bad, you try meds too. Or just try the meds first and see if that helps you be at a place to make changes.

My mom has anxiety from her disease - just an offshoot of it. So she just takes medication so she's not constantly fretting. She had the odd panic attack and then panicked about having them - as they were new to her. So she was panicking in advance of panicking. In her case, her little pill as she calls them has helped her to not focus on the stuff she found she was worrying about. And she's not panicked. She's back to smiling and living life. And sleeping soundly.

Best to you

I have Xanax on hand to take sporadically. I know that I was more anxious when the kids were little and I never got a break. From what you wrote, it sounds like you definitely need a break. I would start there.

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I have anxiety everyday, like really, everyday lol. Some days its moderate, other days I want to run around mad and screaming. But for me, I've taught myself to find the humour in it , listen to Instrumental music, and accept my anxiety as a strength, not weakness. When I have the urge to panic and sudden doom, I might flip on my Lindsay Sterling station on Pandora and/or question my anxiety for its presence. For example, doing dishes and panic comes..I ask myself dishes? really dishes, this is what you pop up for? ("you" meaning anxiety). It's a little weird but it helps me to find the humor because I first have to think do I really have the issue I think I have. And for me to get worked up over a "feeling" when other people have more serious issues in their life is petty. Yes, anxiety is absolutely no fun, but! When she comes, I greet her with open arms and joke around at the times she comes around. I find it a strength because I'm always on my toes and on the alert, people would say I'm detailed and thorough in tasks, thank you anxiety! I also surrounded myself with A LOT of positive people. They help too because they're mindset is always to improve and just enjoy life. I'm not an advocate of medicine and I tried the therapist thing but it didn't work. Don't know about your religion either, but God has become my therapist and I try to humor Him too with my anxiety.

Inositol, powder form. It's not a drug but b-vitamin based. MANY mental issues come from a vitamin B deficiency, including depression. I'm no doctor but I assure you that inositol will help you with zero side-effects.

Hi. I never noticed that you asked this type question before. But, then I do not notice such.

Find a good, older friend who has more time on her hands and can help you out if only just to talk.

You are very honest and open to put this out here and I hope some of the answers will not drive you away. Hope you get better.

Wellbutrin.
It's the only thing that worked for me.And I am a much better person because of it.