.. Advice on Neighbor's Kids Who Disrespected Our Rules and Ruined Our Pool

Updated on August 04, 2018
C.F. asks from Pacific, MO
18 answers

they were specifically told no diving and pushing off of the sides. Period no diving or jumping off sides/top rails.. and was definitely a face to face with eye contact statement made directly to each child individually with their response being directly to me face-to-face with eye contact answer was okay we won't do that.

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answers from New York on

How is the pool ruined? Is it beyond repair? How much to fix? Adding these details will help me answer better

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

So one kid did it one time and it ruined the pool? Is it an inflatable pool? Bc since you were out there supervising, I can’t imagine one kid doing it one time before you shut the whole get together down ruining anything but an inflatable pool... def need much more information to answer the question.

3 moms found this helpful

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answers from Kalamazoo on

Details please! How old are kids? Were they supervised? Were your kids in there also? What kind of damage was done?
Obviously, banish them. Are you asking about if they should pay for damages???

7 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

hard to answer since you didn't provide essential details.

our above ground pool won't handle diving or standing on the rim. if a guest's kids disobeyed me i'd have to rescind the offer to let them use the pool.

but you don't say who was supervising, or the age of the kids, or the extent of the damage.

so all i can say is fix the pool and refuse to let them use it again.

i mean, you can ask their parents to chip in, i guess. but i doubt you've got a legal recourse if they decline.

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Baton Rouge on

Don't let them use your pool again.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Norfolk on

Who was supervising the swimming?
If an adult was watching - they could have told them to cut it out before he hauled himself up there.
If he's a minor - his parents are liable for damages - although I might consult my home owners insurance.
In any case - he broke the rules, created some damage - he's lucky he didn't break his neck - I think he's earned his way to being banned from the pool.
If anyone get themselves killed/injured on your property his family WILL sue you.
They don't call a pool an attractive nuisance for nothing.

Going forward - if anyone is using the pool - a sober adult NEEDS to be supervising.
No supervisor - no swimming - period.

Above ground pools don't have sides that can take standing on unless there's a deck around it.
They can be damaged doing what this kid did.
Broken pieces can break the pool liner - causing leaks and floods.
It can be a real mess.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

So they broke your rule which is not ok. Send them home for not following house rules.

How on earth did they ruin the pool? Does it blow up or something?

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Honolulu on

What did they ruin (did they damage something or just ruin everyone's fun time by horsing around dangerously)? Does your pool have a fence or gate? Were their parents there at the time, and how did the parents react?

Please provide details (ages, how your pool is secured, how the kids ruined it, how well you know these kids), and you'll get some helpful advice.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Minneapolis on

How is your relationship with their parents, and who was supervising them? Were they out swimming unsupervised with your kids? I think unless your relationship with the parents is very good, and you know they will just offer to compensate you on your word, a supervising adult saw these kids doing these activities they were told not to that damaged your pool, and/or they will admit to doing it, you unfortunately, should will probably not receive any compensation for replacing your pool.

Lesson learned. I would replace it, build or reinforce your fence/gate, use locks. And tell those kids and their parents they are not allowed to use the pool unless invited by your children, AND you, AND one of their parents is outside supervising. This is a lot, but it should cut down on their use or stop, unless these are strong friendships, you and their family are close, and then it shouldn't happen again going forward under these new conditions.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

What do you mean they ruined the pool? How? Even if they did they are kids, what are you going to do, sue them? Sheesh. You're the adult, it's your pool, you are responsible for it, and for SUPERVISING your own children as well as any others who are there. If they were misbehaving you should have sent them home immediately.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Boston on

Ruined the pool? What was the damage? What kind of supervision was provided? Or do you mean they ruined the pool party/play date?

The first kid who breaks the rule gets pulled out and seated on the patio or the deck of the pool, where he/she can watch. You say, audibly, "You will sit here for X minutes because you didn't obey the rules." A good rule for time out is 1 minute per 1 year of age - so a 10 year old sits for 10 minutes, a 5 year old sits for 5 minutes - which seems like an eternity to any kid. The second kid waits twice as long, and all kids are informed that one more violation will result in the pool being closed to all kids for the rest of the day and them being sent home.

I think earlier and more decisive intervention is warranted. There is a reason for pool rules, which is safety.

You need to not invite them back for a while. If asked, you say that it's unfortunate but they aren't old enough yet to follow safety rules and maybe when they are older the pool dates can be resumed. Make sure you phrase it that it was THEIR DECISION to make future dates impossible. Don't be excessively defensive about your position. In a ball game, kids can get 4 strikes instead of 3. With water safety, there's no room for disobedience. They were your guests. They won't be your guests again for a while.

Just don't make it about bad parenting at their home or anything like that. Keep it simple. When they're old enough to listen, you'll consider a new invitation. But if they say "Oh, we promise," you say, "I know. You promised before. It didn't work out. So we'll wait until you are older and understand why rules matter and what it means to make a promise." If the parents question you, put it back on their kids and say, "Oh, Billy and Susie will explain it to you. Have a nice day!"

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Miami on

Okay so, is part of the story missing? What exactly happened? Sounds like you started typing then stopped abruptly mid-way through the story. Yes, kids often disobey rules and there are consequences, as in, not being allowed to use the pool. I still don't understand how they ruined your pool...still, if you told them not to do something and they kept at it, at that time you should have told them to dry off, put their clothes on, and go home. They may be able to disobey and get away with it at their OWN home but you need to put your foot down, the way a public pool does when it's time to close and kids still want to keep swimming and not get out of the pool. Listen and follow rules, or you go back home and never get a chance to use the pool again. It's that simple. My house, my rules.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on


There seems to be so much missing from this story.
HOW many kids?
HOW OLD are the kids?

Did you talk with their parents?
Were you THERE when the kids were DISOBEYING the rules and not correcting them? If you left them to their own devices - sorry - you're responsible. I wouldn't leave kids alone in a pool. Even teenagers - I'd be sunbathing while they were playing or nearby.

If you were THERE when they were disobeying the rules and they STILL damaged the pool (I take it this is an above ground pool?) I'd talk with their parents and split the costs of the repairs or make the kids repair it.

I would NEVER allow them over to play in the pool again either. If you can't follow the rules of my home? You are not welcome there.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Houston on

So when you saw those behaviors, did you send them home? If not, why? How did they ruin your pool? There is additional information needed.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

In my world and at my pool, if you can’t follow the rules, you get sent home. It’s too late for that, so your recourse is to not allow them over to swim.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Pittsburgh on

"No, you can't use our pool anymore." If they ask why, you tell the truth "Because I can't trust you to follow the rules." If they keep pushing, "No" - repeated as many times as needed.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Portland on

I wonder what you're asking advice about. Is it about what consequences to give the kids or perhaps should their families pay for repairs or replacement. Perhaps question is whether you should repair if possible or replace pool. Should you ban those kids for summer or just until they do what you ask. Should you involve their parents. ETC

To answer any of those questions or others, I need more information.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Seattle on

So...the first time you saw the neighbor kid push or jump you immediately talked to them, right?
You sat out there and WATCHED the neighborhood children in your pool, right?
Not sure what your question is. Kids play in a pool at my place I am going to be watching them.

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