Advice on How to Manage Day to Day

Good Morning S.:
Please let me preface what I am about to say with letting you know my credentials. I am a Certified Physician Assistant & Midwife both in PA & AK.
Does your son have a Psych diagnosis? If he does has the therapist offered Mobile Therapy to you as a way for you to have some respite care?
This would give you the break you need and allow your Son to have sometime that he gets REAL one on one with someone other than Mom.
If he doesn't it might be time to seek the aid of a Psychiatrist instead of just a therapist.
When what you are doing is not working it is time to have a look at some other options.
Something/Someone has pulled this behavior out of your son. Have a look, if need be by back journaling (basically going back over his little life and seeing where there were changes). If you can pinpoint when this behavior started, you can often stop it.
I wish you the best of luck and will keep you in my prayers. Please if he has not already seen one, get him into a good Child Psychiatrist.
God Bless,
J. T

this is no advice but a question. did any advice you got help you? i have a 4 1/2 yr old daughter and she is the same way. i havent done theropy cause efveryone agrees they dont think that will do anything. i belive in spanking and that dont even work. sometimes ill be telling her something and she looks at me like she cant hear me or doesnt care or like shes thinking who the heck do u think you are. so just wondering if anything helped and letting you know if not your not alone

In my house we have mommie dollars for my six year old it seems to work. I made my own money i told him point blank what i expect of him and i gave him some choures and every time he does what is expected he gets a mommie dollar now they can be cashed in for 20min of video games, 30 min extended bed time etc but he also has to pay me if he does something inappropriate like be mean to his sister etc. He also may save them and every 3 mommie dollars equals one real dollar I think it works because he can physically hold the dollars and he really gets to see his reward...

maybe he needs therapy twice a week, since problems seem to happen every 3rd day or so? maybe that will keep him more on track.

Hi S.,

This may sound crazy, but have you tried to simply ignore him when he lashes out. See if that will work.

Good luck!

Maybe it has to do with his diet? Are you giving him a lot of sweets and sugars?

I have been a preschool teacher for 25 years. In my experience, it seems that some children enjoy the fight. They like the attention they receive from arguing or tantruming, even though it seems negative to you. Try responding to him as calmly as you can, be firm, give him a place to tantrum and walk away. It is very difficult to keep your cool with a tantruming child, but remember you are the adult. Some other things that might help are to:

I know this is going to sound odd, but have you considered enrolling him in a Martial Arts school? Often these schools have ALOT of structure, and that can help children who act out to learn to control the emotional cues that make them react inapropriately.

The one thing i would suggest is that if you go this route, you will have to allow the instructor to uphold the rules and such of the class, which some parents find hard to do. However, if you allow the sensei to enforce these rules, your child may learn consequences are not always pleasant for misbehaving, and that the classmates are often made to ignore such outbursts does not get him the attention he craves.

SOmetimes children respond to people who are not their parents because they know how to push our buttons. Also i was thinking the class time would allow you a little time to yourself to regroup.

It is merely a suggestion, and i am sure you can be the best judge of what is right for your little one. As a past instructor at a number of schools, i was able to help many little ones realize that positive action was the best way to get mom and dads attention.
I hope this situation will resolve itself soon, and you can get some rest!