3Yr Old Only Does #2 in Panties - Please Help!

Have faith and patience! I've learned there is only one thing 3 yr olds have complete control over...going potty. The worst thing you can do is get into a power struggle with someone who wins by simply saying "no." Like a lot of three year olds, she probably hasn't physically developed enough to know when she has to until it is on it's way out. The more you treat this as a skill she is learning, the easier it will be:) When she does get it into the potty, have a potty party and be her cheerleader! If she does have a poop accident, hand her some wipes and have her help clean herself up, while putting the #2 in the potty. If it is a power struggle, she'll decide sooner or later it's no fun to clean yourself up! Good luck!

You might try reading John Rosemond's "Making the 'Terrible' Twos Terrific!" He says potty training is an exercise in independence for a two-year-old, not cleanliness. He suggests parents not put a lot of pressure on the child, but allow them to do it on their own. That includes having them clean up their own messes when they make them, like swishing out their underwear after they make a mess. My husband was still pooping in his underwear at age four, so his parents sent him to his grandmother, who made him wash out his own underwear when he did that, and he quickly learned it was less messy to just go in the toilet. Might take a while for that to sink in for some kids, though.

We just started potty training with our 2-year-old boy, so I know it's hard to keep quiet when you don't want to clean up all the messes involved. :-[ I really enjoy Rosemond's advice. Very common-sense and reassuring. :)

My daughter had an issue with this as well-she was completely potty trained-then started pooping in her panties again-so it may be a bit different than what you are dealing with. We made her clean up her own mess and started taking a toy away each time (which was about once a day) when she pooped in the potty she got a toy back. Also, pooping is harder than peeing so you've got to give something better than M&M's! I found chocolate ladybugs at a chocolate shop-my daughter LOVED these. After she started making progress with taking toys away I told her that in 4 days if she didn't have any accidents she could have this chocolate ladybug-I only had to buy 3-in 3 weeks she was accident free.

when my son first started potty training, he pooped on some mickey mouse underwear, and I told him that Mickey didn't like it and it hurt his feelings. He was pretty upset about it, and then went poopoo in the potty the next time.

It might not work for your kid, but it's worth a shot.

Hi A.,
I had this same issue with my daughter. I was so frustrated with it, so I completely understand what you are going through. One thing I found that does not work is to punish her if she goes in her panties. Not that you've done that, but I'll just share from my mistake so that you won't make the same one. :) We thought it was a discipline issue and told our daughter that the next time she pooped in her panties she would get spanked and she didn't poop at all for 3 days! So needless to say we took that back and tried other methods. What finally worked was when I realized that she really had not figured out how to poop in the potty. It takes relaxing and is quite different than peeing. So I changed my focus into getting her to learn to relax. It took awhile of talking her through it, but once she figured it out and went once, she was trained. That was all it took, just figuring it out. So hang in there, have patience and help her to relax. Also make sure her feet can touch something when she goes (a stool if she is on the big potty, the floor if she is using a little potty). That sometimes helps them be able to push correctly. Hope it happens soon.
M.