2-1/2 Year Old Holding in Her Bowel Movement

Is she still wearing diapers or are you potty training her? Sometimes it's easier to get a stool out on the toilet than in a diaper because the big ones have more room to go somewhere. Stick her in a nice warm bath and let her play and relax. She might go in the tub which is gross, but if you watch closely enough you might be able to tell when it's coming and scoop her out and put her on the potty to go. I think the key is probably going to be to get her to relax and not think about it. Give her a book on the potty and sit and read it with her. Maybe plop her in front of the tv with a special video you never let her watch on her potty chair.

Both my kids did this "voluntary fecal withholding" as the doctors call it, when we were switching from diapers to potty, about age 2.5 to 3. Both kids were on Miralax for months on end. It literally takes months for the kids to have easy bowel movements for them to forget that one that caused pain and the colon to shrink back. It is a negative spiral: because they are afraid it will hurt they withhold it, which means the colon stretches to hold more fecal matter which means the bowel movements get larger, so when they finally do come out they are huge and hurt. So large they can cause tearing in the anus and some bleeding - not a fun experience. One daughter used to clog the toilet with hers. If it was me I would go back to the Miralax (glycolax powder)and make sure she gets enough liquids too, our girls did not drink very much which also leave the stool harder. Since Miralax dissolves in anything I used to put it in her first drink of the day every day. We did not use the amount the bottle recommends since about a rounded teaspoon every day was sufficient. I think the larger dose on the bottle is for occasional use. Our pediatrician said she could be on it for years if need be, it is not absorbed into the blood only the stool so there were no side-effects for our kids. Now that we are off the Miralax if they ever do have occasional constipation we give them Milk Of Magnesia (they say they need some help from MOM) which is also not a stimulant laxative, they like the cherry taste,it works overnight and it a lot cheaper. Good luck with this very difficult issue, you feel so bad for them and no amount of logic seems to help. They will outgrow it.

I just went through this with my three year old. So my dr. told me to just give her juice, as she's getting her dairy source from cheese, ice cream, etc. So she has apple juice with breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And that helps to keep it soft, but not from her holding it in. Then I gave her ten red grapes, and that did the trick - she can't hold it in - it's almost like a little explosion every day. So now she's used to it not hurting anymore and the grapes forced her to go. So now she doesn't try to hold it in anymore now that she's conditioned to go everyday now after the grapes. Good luck!

My daughter had this problem as well at this same age. Some of it was a control issue, but mainly it was because it was painful. It was becomming a serious problem as her bowels were disstended. We tried many things, but eventually the doctor perscribed Miralax. She was on it for a couple of years. We also closely monitered her diet, higher fiber and lots of fluids. It takes a lot of patience and monitoring and routine. She is now ten and takes a fiber supplement every day and lets me know know if there are any issues. Also watch them when they start school, I saw her trending backwards. Good luck.

Hi D.,

Just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone. I have a 2 1/2(3 in Sept) year old daughter who is going through this too. It drives me insane. She is also a very picky eater and hardly eats vegetables and only some fruit. Its gotten to the point where I've had to use a sticker chart to basically bribe her to eat her fruits and vegetables. Our pedi also prescribed us Miralax, which I do use as well. I really just want her to be able to go on her own though and not be afraid to push it out. Its very frustrating!

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Hi - I feel for you because we've been going through the same issue with my 5 1/2-year old. My advice is don't let the doctors downplay the problem and tell you it's "incomplete toilet training" and "she'll grow out of it." It's called encopresis and I recommend an excellent book on the subject (just discovered it) called "Constipation, Withholding, and Your Child" by Anthony Cohn. I've found that there aren't many doctors or other practicioners who specialize in this issue, and that's why Cohn's book was so great - I finally felt here was someone who knows a lot about the subject. I think you're absolutely right - this is not merely a question of more fiber. From my experience, it's a problem that needs addressing both a physiologically (fiber, Miralax, etc.) and psychologically (rewards, conditioning, etc.) I would just urge you to start addressing it sooner rather than later because the longer you wait, the longer it will take to undo the damage. Also another good book - this one for your daughter - is called "It Hurts When I Poop." Good luck, I know this is a very hard issue to deal with, and I've found there's very little support from the medical community. So be proactive yourself and don't let them tell you "it will come out eventually." This is not a one-time problem, you need them to help you address the whole pattern. Best of luck to you - and to all of us who undersatand from first-hand experience how difficult this is. I honestly can't believe there isn't more recognition of this condition and support from the medical community.

Our pediatrician recommended Miralax and sitting her on the potty for 5-10 minutes after meals to train her body when to eliminate. Just read a book to her while she sits (if she's potty training).
Other fiber sources: oatmeal, prune juice and plum juice were suggested. I've also found Bolthouse Farms Blue Goodness juice has 8 grams of fiber per 8 oz serving. It is pricey, but she probably doesn't need a full 8 oz.
Good luck,
J.

HI D.- We had similar problems with one of my daughters when she was that age, and a bit older. She was given Miralax powder daily to soften her stools, so she just couldn't hold it in, it was too soft. Is your daughter toilet trained? Her not being trained could make this process very messy-not being able to get to a toilet in time. At least in a diaper it would be (hopefully) contained.
Now my other daughter, at age 9 has had a problem with retaining her bowels. Again, we were told to use Miralax, at first to "clean her out"-like an enema, and then to use daily. So, you might be told to give your daughter large amounts of Miralax to clean out her bowels, and then smaller amounts to keep it soft and easy to pass for several weeks/months. You'll need to be home-bound, near a toilet so she can go whenever she needs to. You don't want her to with hold it, because then she'll loose the sensation of when she needs to go. We've had to deal with that with my 9 year old. It's doable, but it's hard to re-learn once the sensation is gone. Try to be patient,and not punishing in your approach, that can complicate things greatly.
I wish you lots of luck. It's very tough issue to deal with.

ugh so frustrating isnt it? I teach preschool and see this all the time. Have her sit on the toilet/potty every day not matter what same times, try to train her system to get used to going at the same time. You know the rest, fiber, water, and more fiber. Have you tried Miralax, my youngest used that back then when it was prescription. The pedi says they hold it because it hurt them in the past. But the more they hold the more it hurts. My son finally grew out of this at 3 1/2 yikes..... Hang in there, alot of us have been there!!