123 Magic for Toddlers

I don't really remember that part of it. We just kept bringing him to timeout until he stayed. We had to experiment with where too. When he was prone to walking away, we put him in a room and closed the door.

As far as noisy bedtime, unless you have other children in the house who she's waking up, I'd ignore any noise she makes. Or you could say, "If you are noisy tonight, tomorrow you have to go to bed 15 minutes earlier."

If you do anything other than timeout, I think it's helpful to at least relate to the offense. No dessert for not cleaning up, for example, doesn't really make sense. Taking the toy she won't pick up away does make sense.

I read the book and we just use time out unless it is a situation where time out doesn't exactly work. At home he just goes into time out. Since he is only 3 I usually let him sit in time out at the bottom of the steps, but if he's still being disruptive or won't stay sitting or whatever then the time out starts over in his room upstairs. If we are out or for some reason time out does not work then he gets another punishment that fits the crime. Being loud if we are at a restaurant means a time out in the car, not listening when we are walking to school means he has to ride in the stroller and can't walk like a big boy, being loud at bedtime gets his door closed for 3 minutes, not cooperating during bath/PJs/teeth brushing means he looses a book before bed (since it's usually a way of stalling and a time out would just prolong bedtime further), bad behavior at a play date means we take a time out once and after that we go home. I have only taken away toys or something if he is being destructive. Like if he is throwing a toy or stepping on it I just take it away. I have never used food or dessert.

I have never read the book, but we do 1,2,3 time out.

When they did something wrong I would say 1 and tell them what they needed to stop doing it or you will have a time out. Then 2 stop or you will have a time out. 3 take them right from what they are doing and put right into time out ( I know its usually a min per age, but we always did a solid 5 mins until after the age of 5). After they were done with the time out, we gave hugs then told them they can't do xxx and why. Very short and very simple for them to understand. ex. you can't stand on the chair or you will get hurt. Don't throw toys, someone could get hurt. I told you no, you needed to stop asking.

We never took anything away from the kids ( early bedtime, no treats). The time out was the only punishment. When they got older 3/4 all I would have to say is one, stop. 2 nothing else and rarely do/ did we have to get to 3. If we did then I would explain why when they got up.

Not sitting in the time out was never an option. Even if I had to sit there and hold them in place ( gently) until they were willing to sit there. There time always started over every time I had to put them back. For my kids they only tried it one or maybe two times and not again.

Hope that helps.

For my 3.5 yo son we have had a problem with not staying in the room/going to bed. To focus him during the bedtime routine we count if we get to 3 we loose a book. I also frequently use the start behavior techniques of counting up to ten/ reverse psychology " I bet you cant get into your pj, pick out a book and be in your bed by the time I count to ten." To keep him in bed we started giving him glow bracelets (15 for $1 at target) this has kept him quiet and given him something to play with in the dark. We also started a rewards system. He gets a star every night he stays in bed but could be modified to add - goes right to seep without being loud. At ten stars he got a small reward (his pick of a restaurant on a night when we were going out anyway), we are currently working on 20 stars but he has mastered staying in his own bed!!! yay. Now we are moving the stars to be days where we don't get to 2.

Also could try taking away a favorite toy/stuffed animal or blanket.

Good luck

discipline for toddlers, and under 2 1/2 really, is about controlling the environment and making the environment friendly to their urges so there is no chance for misbehavior. Additionally you need to make sure they are getting LOTS of sleep, as in 12 hours at night and 2 solid 2 hour naps daily. If they do something with a playmate, such as hitting or taking a toy, then you just take care of that situation as it arises and teach what you want them to do, ("we use gentle hands" as you use their hand to be gentle). Use signs for more, all done and other common things. (youtube has videos of how to do the signs) Time outs - if she isn't going to them then take her to them - make them occur in her bed or high chair. OR control the environment so they don't have to happen at all!
For bedtime, put her in there, turn out the light, make it pitch dark with 2 layers of black felt on the windows, and put her in there and leave. She can scream for hours, so what. Let her be. A few days of that and you will have her going to bed easily.
Remember you are the parent.
I do not like 123 magic - you are giving your kid 3 times of misbehaving before you give a consequence.

As a child specialist ( hey, my team is in Highland Park, at North Shore Pediatric Therapy, we have behavior blogs on our site www.NSPT4kids.com,
we are neighbors) and a mother of 5, I have learned a lot about behavior. Bottom line is ABC, antecedent, behavior, consequence. See what came before the behavior, see what the behavior was, then see what consequence you give her based on those first two. If you for instance ignore a tantrum, (the tantrum is attention seeking) then eventually the tantrum will stop and more tantruming will stop. If you react to it at all, it is negative attention and will keep coming. Behaviors are generally attention seeking or avoidance behavior. The child can be sick or hungry but assuming he's taken care of, figure out why the behavior is occurring and extinguish it and replace it with a better behavior. Hope this helps! Didn't answer the 123 but some advice on behavior! Good luck!

I used to take my sons favorite toy at the time ,away. I would put it somewhere he could still see it. I wouldn't take it away for very long, maybe twice as long as what his time out was.

We ended up seeing a counselor over my middle sons behaviors, and thankfully you are FAR from that. But she said she didnt recommend the 123 method. In reality, she said why would you give a kid 3x to mess up before a consequence?
You set the ground rule ONE time, after that it's a slight warning if they even start a bad behavior like "uh-oh" then you remove them to a time out spot. For our son it had to be his room, w/ a child handle on it so he can't open the door when he's in a time out. If they are throwing a fit you tell them they can come out when they are being nice. That's it, one time. It can get difficult. Again your child doesn't sound like mine, but these methods tend to work. Even on y 1.5 year old. If he throws something at us or screams like a madman, it's an uh-oh and a minute or so in his crib or pack n play